It's almost 2 years since I married a Nigerian man. He says that he loves me but makes very little attempt to show me. When we first met there were poems, cards, love notes, just because text during the day.... now nothing! Were home together, but he seems to always be occupied with other things. I am always the first to say I love you or kiss him goodnight. Hugs are very seldom given unless initiated by me. When he is interested in making love its great, but when it's my idea I get some action but very little emotion, which causes me to loose all interest. I have tried to talk to him about my feelings, but he shows very little concern about how I am feeling and would rather ignore, or change my words than to address the problem. I am at a lost at this point. I love my husband with all my heart, but it hurts to think that the feelings for me may never be reciprocated. Any ideas or advice would me helpful at this point.

African American!

Yes he was here legally on a Visa. I realize that marrying me gave him a permanent benefit, but I really believe that his intentions were legit. Just seems he has gotten TOO comfortable and has forgot how to keep me. Trust me I know where your thoughts are headed, I just pray it was more to our marriage than that.

Thank you for the advice! It makes me even more sad to think that he might be bored after only 2 years. I wish that he would communicate his feelings so that we can work on things together, but a relationship won't repair itself if only 1 participant is interested in getting to the root of the problem. Hope to hear responses from others!

jazzyme: Thank you for the advice! It makes me even more sad to think that he might be bored after only 2 years. I wish that he would communicate his feelings so that we can work on things together, but a relationship won't repair itself if only 1 participant is interested in getting to the root of the problem. Hope to hear responses from others!

Yeah, I also finds it weird that I'm the only one answering you...
Well men have difficulties sharing their emotions or so I heard....

Woman!!! how many years did you use to court him before he married You??

1 year

Ajibam: Woman!!! how many years did you use to court him before he married You??

No offence but you sound like one of those village guys.

@ Poster.

Down side of marrying a Nigerian man.

The truth is that generally Nigerian men are not so romantic (especially if he grew up Nigerian) they will come after you with every thing, if they want to date you but shortly after you must have agreed to date them that laid back attitude set in, ask people on this forum how many of their dads still say i love you to their mum.. and the response will surely be 1 out of 30.

The good side about Nigerian men

Most of them are incredibly dedicated to their family and in most cases they will work their ass to death just to give their children and wife the very best, they may be laid back/bored of sleeping with one woman but they are very unlikely to seek a divorce, if the marriage is genuine. That he doesnt say I love you,hug or kisses you as much as you want does not mean that he does not love you. I cant remember the last time I heard my dad say I love you but they are extremely happy together.

I am a Nigerian and can be annoyingly laid back sometimes. Please note; If he married you because he loves you then you dont have anything to worry about.

Nigerian men can be deceptive atimes so you just have to wait until he gets his passport

He has you and doesn't see a need for all that romance stuff..


YOU should try to spice things up some.. Make him naughty.. make him crave you..

SniperInADiaper: He has you and doesn't see a need for all that romance stuff..


YOU should try to spice things up some.. Make him naughty.. make him crave you..

Thanks for the advice, but i see very little opportunity when he is always engaged with his laptop,video games or sleeping. I have never felt more alone in my entire life. I try to talk to him about how I am feeling but he shows no regard to what I am saying. Thinking that maybe I should just call it quits. A marriage takes two willing participants for it to actually work.

jazzyme: Yes he was here legally on a Visa. I realize that marrying me gave him a permanent benefit, but I really believe that his intentions were legit. Just seems he has gotten TOO comfortable and has forgot how to keep me. Trust me I know where your thoughts are headed, I just pray it was more to our marriage than that.

U've said it al dat marrying u gave him a permanent benefit.Nigerian guys r very good at gettn a woman abroad nd profound undyin luv 2 them nd gettn wat they want,just 2 get a greener pasture bt just pray urs doesnt turn out dat way.

In my opinion, maybe its because you have shown him too much love. yes, most ladies do that and it makes us feel relaxed and stop caring as much as we use to be. Jst deliberately ignore him a bit and get busy with work and form a lot of activities and if he truly loves you, he will feel your absence and start begging for your attention but if he doesn't love you, he wouldnt care nd will jst continue with his life as if nothing is wrong

jazzyme:

Thanks for the advice, but i see very little opportunity when he is always engaged with his laptop,video games or sleeping. I have never felt more alone in my entire life. I try to talk to him about how I am feeling but he shows no regard to what I am saying. Thinking that maybe I should just call it quits. A marriage takes two willing participants for it to actually work.

I'm so sorry you're going through this and you feel alone in your marriage! He would rather use his laptop, play video games or sleep, rather than talk to you? That is utter nonsense. He's cruel for the way he's ignoring you, especially after what you did for him. It seems he has gotten what he wanted and he feels he can now treat you anyhow. A lot of times, many non-citizens don't marry citizens because of love, but because of papers. They'll put on an act when you're together, but when you marry them they'll become a totally different person. It happens with people from different parts of the world, not just with Nigerians. I know you're in the U.S, but this video might still be relevant to you. Marriage fraud here and there are very similar. Sad stuff.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoyzsFaHk5g