TO ALL MY MARARABA HOMIES

EXTRA COOL GIRL
**************
"Where is your school bag?" My father asked me.

"I forget am o" i lied.

"So what did you use in school and why did you drop your bag before leaving the house?" my father continued.

"Ehm, na mistake, sorry i remeber now, we were having FCS thats why i did not carry my bag" i fortified my lie.

"Ok, oya go and find food and eat" he said as he continued watching his film.

I knew he bever bought into my lies but due to the fact that i was not still strong enough he allowed me go freely, next time i knew i wont be too lucky.

That day went by pretty fast maybe because i was watching film throughtout till about 10pm in the night before my father used my ears and dragged me to sleep.

My phone rang in the night so i stretched forth my hands to pick it up and give the person the greatest insult of his life, sincerly till this date i hate extra cool with a passion.

"Helo"

"Helo baby girl, how are you doing?" a male voice at the other end of the phone said.

Me baby girl, i was suprised and shocked again, how did my voice sound like that of a woman i never cared to know.

"Sorry this is wrong number" i explained.

"C'mon baby girl, i know its just that i wanted to hear an angelic voice this night thats why i called this number and i was lucky to get to you" he explained.

Sh'it, the dude must have really been high on indian hemp or so i thought.

"So where are you at?" i asked.

"Baby girl am in Makurdi" he replied.

The mention of Makurdi almost made me laugh i thought it was just one of my friends playing tricks on me.

"Which side in Makurdi?"

"Its in Wadata" he answered.

"So you dont know North bank?" i asked again to be sure.

"Nooo, i just have friends there but i dont go there to much" he answered.

I was covinced that it was not one of my pals playing tricks on me.

"Where are you now?" i asked.

"Baby girl i just came back from somewhere" He replied.

Only three things could keep a Makurdi man outside till that time,1. Weed 2. Cult meeting 3. Shayo. Which i knew must have been one of those.

He began asking me some rubbish questions while he was also toasting me that i was the most beautiful girl he ever heard her voice.

Infact he claimed to have already fallen in love with your voice, i could not help laughing that night, i taught of how i would deal with him when he deviated his chyking things and asked me a question.

"Princess, do you love me?"

"C'mon darling i love you ten times better thats why i want to ask you for a favour" i said while smiling.

"Whats it my dear, he said like i wanted to disown me.

"Can you send me 700naira tomorow morning, i need it very well, i said with an emotional voice.

"Ow my baby i would do what you want just wait till tomorow morning i would send it" he said as i jumped up in excitement.

"ok till tomorow then" i said and dash him some kisses before he allowed me sleep.

By six the next morning i saw the message he sent, it was 1500 recharge card. I was so glad that i called my sister and told her about my night adventyres.

She was so happy as i shared her some money and we waited for that Mr loverboy to call back which he almost did.

My sister answered him without him knowing the voice was not mine, the fool was enjoying his new extracool catch.

"Ehm we are leaving in Nasarawa" my sister said as i went near her to whear the call better.

The bastar'd was glad and he quickly started talking about coming to visit me. I could not help but laugh as hard as i could.

After setting his appearance day i work out another plan with my sister to disstabilise his.

When he called the next time i calmly cleard my voice and began speaking.

"Na who dey disturb my daughter line?" i shouted with a strong Macho voice, i guess i was sounding like my father because he immediately began talking rubbish.

"Sir sorry o, i did not mean it, i was just telling your daughter about Christ" the fool confessed upto the point that i almost gave myself a hot slap for trying to laugh so had.

"Ok thats good boy, next time i see you calling this line again i would be hurstling for your head next" i said as the boy immediately off the call and never called again, i and my sister had gained 1500n recharge card so no shaking.

I wish those kind of moments usually happen all the time, i would have been a big man by now or so i thought.

To Be Continued...

Good nite to una

mehn sum guys are jus pathetic...what was he even thinking?
[b]Bleep ur 1500n recharge card maga[\b]

@the rock5555, we still dey, oh.
Chai, see as you do that lover boy strong thing.

No b small strng tn oo

O boy! That guy na mumu oooo... Shey im no fit differentiate between a guy and girl voice.

BAD BOYS
*********
"Oboy you don bad o, why you run yestaday na?" Solomon askee me as i came to school the next day with my newly sewn uniform.

It was more like wearing agbada because my father made my trousers really big like i was using it for 10yrs, when my mate were wearing pencil trousers i was wearing Fubu but since i dont want to look selfsh i managed it like that.

"Oboy i don tire o, infact i need babes self" i said non chalantly.

The girls in my class were not helping matters, just imagine somebody brought a hints magazine to class and they said i was too small to look at, if i come near they would drive me away.

"Nawao, see babes plenty na, no be juniour students full everywhere" he asked me.

"Me na only my class mate i dey follow jare, i no get time for small girls" i replied.

The laughter that came out of his mouth almost made me cry, AB was a very laugher, that was his best weapon.

"Oboy e get plenty babes for this school wey you no go fit smell their sandals" he said which was really true.

"Ok na true, oya wetin you want make i do now?" i asked.

"Oya just look outside and point one girl wey you go like"

Mehn, this dude was trying my sensability, so i looked outside and pointed at one big a'rse girl, i thought Abraham would never be able to do anything.

"Oboy you get better eyes o, the girl sef na one badoo, na she go use fucck kill this your small body" Ab said.

I laughed thinking he was joking, i did not know that the whole class had suddenly become quiet like a grave yard, Ab was tapping me but i increased my laughter.

"GHAAAMMMM"

A hot knock shut off my laughing chambers, i was now starmering while tears struggled to come out. Mr Afolabi had given me his thread mark knock.

"You this new smlll students, so you have start joining this group of noise makers abi?"

The whole class were giggling as i held my head wth one hand and held my mouth with one hand so that my remaining laugh would not burst off, that prompted the whole class to start laughing.

"All of you come out" Mr Afolabi shouted.

We scrambled outside and he told us to sit outside under the sun. After we begged him he allowed us in after strictly warning us to stop the noisemaking stuffs.

Later our class was shared, Ab was also in science class so we went together.

The next teacher that came in was a very tall man the height of Uncle Boko, i almost asked him if he was his twin brother but shut my mouth to avoid stories that touch.

The lesson was so boring that i began drawing his picture on a piece of paper. A boy saw it and grabbed it, it was so identical to the man that everyone began passing it round. Till it got to Peter's turn, he got a biro and wrote 'sir you are very ugly so get out of this class now'.

He then folded it like an airplane and shot it straight to the man direction, the man saw it and caught it then he opened it and look at it.

The smile onhis face turned to that of a lion own, he was so angry as he looked up at us. Everyone sat quietly like lambs.

"Who wrote this note and draw this picture?" The man asked.

Nobody even made a sound, the man looked at us all then packed his books and walked out of the class. We waited for him to go far before we started screaming,'sir please' while laughing.

We were glad that his boring lesson had ended and we could resume noise making things. Ss3 spirit was still high on us.

Some of the Macho students in my class went out with their canes to find defaulting students to thrash, i never liked following them because i hate flogging someone.

The boys were stopped by some a teacher who was teaching ss3c Commerce, he told them to stop the flogging stuff and go back to their classes.

The boys were angry as they walked in, i asked them what was wrong but they said i should wait till school closes first.

When the school dismissed i went with them, i thought they were going to buy something so i join them gladly. We got near a house and they began giving me their bags to hold.

They went to a door and knock, the next thing i heard was a slap given to someone.

"Where is your husband?" the asked and kicked the door in as the woman screamed.

Then i realised that they came to attack the Commerce uncle that stopped them from floging juniour students. I immediately jumped into a bush to prevent stories that touch...

To be contnued...

Good morning to the Preachers Son crew

re u sure dat ur sister neva called de mugu bak 4 more recharge cards? Guy let it not be wot am thinking cos if na owerri imo state girls, dem go chance u, den continue wit dia new catch. After all dem no be virgins. Ur sister na virgin? NO!!! Ask solomon

The rock5555: Good morning to the Preachers Son crew

Morning dear

Gud mawning y'all

nice update....

Mehnn, that 'fubu' part got me laughing real hard. From jss1 - jss3 all the trousers my school gave me were 'buluku.' they never seemed to have my size, coupled with the fact that i was the shortest guy in my class. you know those kindof trousers that you have to fold upwards and sometimes when walking i had to hold-up the trouser with my hands except i want it to wallow all over the floor. Until i got to senior secondary before i started sewing trousers for myself, it was really pathetic and how i managed to get tall is still a mystery to me.

@skyscrapper
yes is a private poly

Wisdom-Me:
re u sure dat ur sister neva called de mugu bak 4 more recharge cards? Guy let it not be wot am thinking cos if na owerri imo state girls, dem go chance u, den continue wit dia new catch. After all dem no be virgins. Ur sister na virgin? NO!!! Ask solomon

SUPPORTED

@rock

My father was a tailor before he was called to the ministry, the man do sturboness becasue he had a very mighty shop with
**
i wantef wearing jean and my sneakers but my dad told me to wear my previous cloth till my uniform was sewn,
**
The boys were stopped by some a teacher who was teaching ss3c Commerce, he told them to stop the flogging stuff and go back to their classes.

READ AM WELL AND SEE UR SPELLING, NA WETIN U DEY THINK WEY U COME DEY MISTAKE LIKE THIS NA

That your teacher is kindof soft-hearted, if it was my techer then he would trash the whole class 3x interval without getting tired. That'll be the punishment since nobody is willing to confess.

okay!!

ritababe: @skyscraper
yes is a private poly

Rita take it easy jor!!! Not everybody is perfect. Don't u knw dat is nt every1 dat noticed dat DE ROCK made a mistake wit his spelling work

Daniel2802: @rock U wan bleep ur teacher
@rita u dy 2go?

Daniel u no dey shame Can't u ask Rita weda she dey ping u wan dey toast girl wit ur nokia C1 smh

Daniel2802:
@rita u dy 2go?

i even dey 3go

Wisdom-Me:
Daniel u no dey shame Can't u ask Rita weda she dey ping u wan dey toast girl wit ur nokia C1 smh

if na ping, 2go, facebook e.t.c, all of them no be communication

and yes i know im dey try but i want everything to be perfect no mispelling

Guy com update na! U go night vigil?

Daniel2802: @rita u dy 2go?

Wisdom-Me:
Daniel u no dey shame Can't u ask Rita weda she dey ping u wan dey toast girl wit ur nokia C1 smh

Wisdom-Me:
Rita take it easy jor!!! Not everybody is perfect. Don't u knw dat is nt every1 dat noticed dat DE ROCK made a mistake wit his spelling work

I can bet you 95% of people who read the post noticed the typographical errors but choosed not to correct them.

I see errors most time and let it slide knowing fully well that the writer has blood flowing through his veins, hence, he's not a robot.

If there is anything i hate most is having to proofread what i had spent countless times writing.

ritababe: and yes i know im dey try but i want everything to be perfect no misspelling

as humans we are all prone to mistakes, especially when the writer is typing in a rapid succession, so long you decipher what the message entailed that's all that matters.

sкчscrαρεr™:


I can bet you 95% of people who read the post noticed the typographical errors but choosed not to correct them.

I see errors most time and let it slide knowing fully well that the writer has blood flowing through his veins, hence, he's not a robot.

If there is anything i hate most is having to proofread what i had spent countless times writing.



as humans we are all prone to mistakes, especially when the writer is typing in a rapid succession, so long you decipher what the message entailed that's all that matters.

of cuz evry1 sees D̶̲̥̅̊ errors,bt no1 wud tok ᵝ cOs we all knw he's U̶̲̥̅̊sina a̶̲̥̅̊ fone,nd drz no a̶̲̥̅̊w he wnt make a̶̲̥̅̊ mistake,also typin dose lonq updates he's definitely prone 2 make those mistakes jawe

O boy, this train don go far mehn.

If e like,make error dey,the update still sweet

bufness: of cuz evry1 sees D̶̲̥̅̊ errors,bt no1 wud tok ᵝ cOs we all knw he's U̶̲̥̅̊sina a̶̲̥̅̊ fone,nd drz no a̶̲̥̅̊w he wnt make a̶̲̥̅̊ mistake,also typin dose lonq updates he's definitely prone 2 make those mistakes jawe

#WORD

Firstgentleman1: O boy, this train don go far mehn.

where were you

Good afternoon to una.

@Ritababe-tanks for all the corrections, i did not type it, my younger sis did and i was too tired to read it again, pls bear with me.

@skyscraper-ur statement got be laughing my head out, Fubu tinz.

@Daniel-i no wan bleep my teacher o, just wanted to check on her.

@bufness-tanks for reading plus all the mistakes like dat.

@Firstgentleman-when u catch up with us again i want to see u in my office, u have a query to answer too.

Where is kingphilip, pple neva chop since morning.

Make una bear with me o, i had a volleyball match this morning, headache wan kill me, my hands are even shaking as am typing this,

nd united are making matters worse, i go continue when my head stops pounding.

Thank y'all

Hi Rock!long time tins.............you know what?i love your recent updates ............you know why?there are not so much sex excapades stories...though I'm not certain that they are not on their way ............#just saying# i know it has to be a combination of everything since it's a true life story as supposed,but you know,different people with different degree of boldness sha ..i don't think i would ever have the effontry to do all you have done and would still do

The rock5555: Good afternoon to una.

@Ritababe-tanks for all the corrections, i did not type it, my younger sis did and i was too tired to read it again, pls bear with me.

@skyscraper-ur statement got be laughing my head out, Fubu tinz.

@Daniel-i no wan bleep my teacher o, just wanted to check on her.

@bufness-tanks for reading plus all the mistakes like dat.

@Firstgentleman-when u catch up with us again i want to see u in my office, u have a query to answer too.

Where is kingphilip, pple neva chop since morning.

Make una bear with me o, i had a volleyball match this morning, headache wan kill me, my hands are even shaking as am typing this,

nd united are making matters worse, i go continue when my head stops pounding.

Thank y'all

Rock, Man united win 3-2 naww. No go use wayo give us one kind update. . .

The rock5555: Good afternoon to una.

@Ritababe-tanks for all the corrections, i did not type it, my younger sis did and i was too tired to read it again, pls bear with me.

@skyscraper-ur statement got be laughing my head out, Fubu tinz.

@Daniel-i no wan bleep my teacher o, just wanted to check on her.

@bufness-tanks for reading plus all the mistakes like dat.

@Firstgentleman-when u catch up with us again i want to see u in my office, u have a query to answer too.

Where is kingphilip, pple neva chop since morning.

Make una bear with me o, i had a volleyball match this morning, headache wan kill me, my hands are even shaking as am typing this,

nd united are making matters worse, i go continue when my head stops pounding.

Thank y'all

sorry man,all iz well with ya soul.

@rock,oya we dn win again,thanks 2 rvp,onyikocha akpai wazza rooney and onyi ajebo chicharito made dat possible.4 dat hammer us wit a celebration update to make us enjoy it o or xo am thinkin.Does any1 support wat am saying?