Libra-kid:
Its really sad bt i want to state here dat we do av such mothers. Its sad dat Kemi had to take her life cos if many of us had let the words and action of our mothers get to us den we would av bn history by now. I personally detest my mum 4 dat,am not proud of sayin dis bt i wish she wasn't my mum in the first place!

thank you for coming out and stating this as we nigerians like to hide our feelings and shout to the world that our dads and mums are d best while suffering abuse @ home.
I understand u completely as I used to hate my dad however, I stood my ground on some issues and tried to think and see things from his point of view while removing the negative tone and delivery of his message....u could try this with your mum and hope it helps your relationship with her.

y-fo:


thank you for coming out and stating this as we nigerians like to hide our feelings and shout to the world that our dads and mums are d best while suffering abuse @ home.
I understand u completely as I used to hate my dad however, I stood my ground on some issues and tried to think and see things from his point of view while removing the negative tone and delivery of his message....u could try this with your mum and hope it helps your relationship with her.

tnxalot! One tng dat has kept me goin is seein d positiv side of every situation. I make bold to say we(youths) av every ryt to let our parents kw they owe us the responsibility of lov.....uncounditional lov! And not the oda way round. Av com 2 realize dat most of dem tend to pour out their fustrationz on their children thereby makin life a livin hell for these young ones dat are tryin 2 get a base in life. I pray i get support frm my fellow NLders as i intend 2 start up an NGO on mother/daughter relationship in our society,they need to kw how to conteol their anger and raise a happy home. Am indeed hapi am sharin dis....

aykay45: So peeps are jst so annoying, hw wetin person go talk go make me commit suicide, I fit lock ma self for months, decide not to talk to anyone again or even run away not suicide, well she's a lady anyway... D woman too is so annoying(as in d mother).
My point is jst dat wen sum1 says u r a failure, d person is jst giving u time to prove ursef and shout der mouth.

abi.why will you even call someone a failure talkless of your own flesh and blood.even when i was in secondary school,i wasnt good in french.so my french teacher will call me 'olodo',i reply her immidiately because i dont know the angel that is passing by.when she uses derogatory words like olodo,empty skull,i always tell her i am not and i will never be.french is only a temporary challenge that will pass by.i was never born a failure,if not i wont be in ss2 (as of that time) and she will slap me.i still will not keep quiet.i said thats the worst you can do.if she had the opportunity,i kniw she will have loved to send me out of the class,so she will say i should go and kneel down at the back of the class.anyway to cut the long story short,i determined to prove her otherwise so when i got home,i told my mom all that happened and she got a french lesson teacher for me that comes to teach me every weekend.lo and behold,i had a 75 in that subject.2 days later,i went to her office with the french result and other subjects.i said good morning mrs clara,she answered me.she was very mouthy so i was already prepared for her.she said can i help you,i said not exactly ma.so i went on.i said ma,you know i told you i am not an empty skull and french is only a temporary challenge,well this is the evidence to counter your negative words,i showed her the result,including other subjects whiche were 4 a's and 3 bs.she felt ashamed,so she wanted to explain,shewa my darling.as she was talking,i said ma,can i have my results,she gave it to me and i said dont bother,i walked out of her office and that was the last time i had any encounter with her.she will try and get friendly with me and buy me perfume,hair accesories and all and put it on my locker.when i get to school and see it,i will carry it and put it in front of her office because her words was still ringing in my mind each time i saw her.till i graduated,she always felt bad.anyway thats just a little tale of how i conquered mouthy people even as a child,not to now talk of as an adult

Should be a lesson to the Mother and Family, but would we learn?

The girl was still young, was trying to do something meaningful with her life, who knows what she would have achieved?

I think the mother was very selfish! I would want to know what she herself had achieved!

People think they can just say anything because they are JUST FORTUNATE to be parents!

[b][/b]The kingdom of darkness has increased by 1..
God hates anyone who takes his/her own life..but I don't think anything or word on earth worth dieing for..

RIP kemi even though you made the wrong decision may almighty allah forgive you and give u eternal rest... Lesson learnt: please let us all watch d words we say because it might hurt someone else

@Post

Many Nigerian mothers and fathers are very abusive. This is a FACT. About a week ago, I was reading a post on bellanaija.com about a lady who said she hates her mom. She explained how her mother has been emotionally, verbally and psychologically abusive towards her. The comments that followed were equally sad though not shocking to me. Child abuse is a serious issue in Nigeria and even more so because we don't have a system in place where these kids can leave their parents/guardian and find relief somewhere else like its done in advanced societies.

I suffered severe abuse as a child in the hands of the incubator who calls herself a mother. Now that I am a full fledged adult, the abuse has continued minus the physical abuse. Thoughts of doing the incubator harm has crossed my mind severally but the holy spirit keeps me restrained.

Here on Nairaland, I read the story of a Nigerian man who set his mother on fire. I told myself, we will begin to read more of such stories in the not-so-distant future because at the rate with which Nigerians are being terribly abusive towards their kids all in the name of discipline, those kids will grow up someday and deal with their abusive parent(s) mercilessly and in extreme cases, kill them.

I for one will have nothing more to do with my abusive biological family once I return back to my base. I am afraid that if I don't cut them off real soon, my patience will wear thin after prolonged years of various forms of abuse from them and heads just might roll.

Lastly, I also think that Nigerian society in a way is to blame for all the parental abuse that takes place because many if not most Nigerians are always making excuses for abusive parents the same way they make excuses for abusive spouses and paedophiles. As long as you keep making excuses for the evil deeds that others in society perpetrate, you are equally part of the problem. Think about it.

dasparrow: @Post

Many Nigerian mothers and fathers are very abusive. This is a FACT. About a week ago, I was reading a post on bellanaija.com about a lady who said she hates her mom. She explained how her mother has been emotionally, verbally and psychologically abusive towards her. The comments that followed were equally sad though not shocking to me. Child abuse is a serious issue in Nigeria and even more so because we don't have a system in place where these kids can leave their parents/guardian and find relief somewhere else like its done in advanced societies.

I suffered severe abuse as a child in the hands of the incubator who calls herself a mother. Now that I am a full fledged adult, the abuse has continued minus the physical abuse. Thoughts of doing the incubator harm has crossed my mind severally but the holy spirit keeps me restrained.

Here on Nairaland, I read the story of a Nigerian man who set his mother on fire. I told myself, we will begin to read more of such stories in the not-so-distant future because at the rate with which Nigerians are being terribly abusive towards their kids all in the name of discipline, those kids will grow up someday and deal with their abusive parent(s) mercilessly and in extreme cases, kill them.

I for one will have nothing more to do with my abusive biological family once I return back to my base. I am afraid that if I don't cut them off real soon, my patience will wear thin after prolonged years of various forms of abuse from them and heads just might roll.

Lastly, I also think that Nigerian society in a way is to blame for all the parental abuse that takes place because many if not most Nigerians are always making excuses for abusive parents the same way they make excuses for abusive spouses and paedophiles. As long as you keep making excuses for the evil deeds that others in society perpetrate, you are equally part of the problem. Think about it.

This is so true, we are quick to quote "Children honor your parents" But never remember "Parents do not provoke your children to anger"

We somehow believe parents are always right and must be obeyed and honored even when they are clearly wrong, that is why even when a mans mother is doing unacceptable to the wife he seems tongue tied.
Most times when Nigerians praise Mothers I wonder what happened to the mothers who push their daughters to prostitution or the ones who close their eyes to their sons robbing people because of their love for money.
What about the ones who at slight offences strip naked and curse their children emotionally blackmailing them so they can always get what they want.

I am a woman and a mother, I almost died having my second son, and suffered post partum depression after I had him, does that mean he owes me for the rest of his life?
Should that be a reason to remind him everytime I want something and he disagrees? No, he didn't ask to be born, Hubby and I made a choice, abi I made a choice, Hubby was okay with just one child, I wanted more.

People say honor your parents regardless, My own mother put social standing before me, to her I am as good as a persona non grata, I am stained, we can't have a conversation without her implying that I am heading for hell because I chose to leave an abusive situation, it is worse because she has started telling my son horrible scary things.
Yet some will say I should still "Honor" her and keep going to see her, Why? So I can leave worse than I went? So I can be reminded of my doom? Or so my son will come home crying?

Parents are not always right, if you want honor then don't provoke your children. It is like the submit and love verses.

Knowing Nairaland, someone will probably dig this post up one day and use to abuse me, but I really don't care, I know so many others are dealing with their genuine feelings of hurt from Mothers feel ashamed to express it because they are blackmailed into silence by a society.

So many people carry hurt and pain locked inside and sadly some go and repeat the same abuse because they don't have an outlet to vent.

Life is not perfect, we all have baggages, what is the gain in making anothers life harder?
It is well

^^^ Madam, in my humble opinion, I will advise you keep your children far away from her until she changes for better.

Those kids are too young to have someone sowing seed of bitterness and resentment in them. Please keep them away from her, if she claims to be a christian, she is doing more damage to those innocent kids than good.

God help you

debrief08:

This is so true, we are quick to quote "Children honor your parents" But never remember "Parents do not provoke your children to anger"

We somehow believe parents are always right and must be obeyed and honored even when they are clearly wrong, that is why even when a mans mother is doing unacceptable to the wife he seems tongue tied.
Most times when Nigerians praise Mothers I wonder what happened to the mothers who push their daughters to prostitution or the ones who close their eyes to their sons robbing people because of their love for money.
What about the ones who at slight offences strip naked and curse their children emotionally blackmailing them so they can always get what they want.

I am a woman and a mother, I almost died having my second son, and suffered post partum depression after I had him, does that mean he owes me for the rest of his life?
Should that be a reason to remind him everytime I want something and he disagrees? No, he didn't ask to be born, Hubby and I made a choice, abi I made a choice, Hubby was okay with just one child, I wanted more.

People say honor your parents regardless, My own mother put social standing before me, to her I am as good as a persona non grata, I am stained, we can't have a conversation without her implying that I am heading for hell because I chose to leave an abusive situation, it is worse because she has started telling my son horrible scary things.
Yet some will say I should still "Honor" her and keep going to see her, Why? So I can leave worse than I went? So I can be reminded of my doom? Or so my son will come home crying?

Parents are not always right, if you want honor then don't provoke your children. It is like the submit and love verses.

Knowing Nairaland, someone will probably dig this post up one day and use to abuse me, but I really don't care, I know so many others are dealing with their genuine feelings of hurt from Mothers feel ashamed to express it because they are blackmailed into silence by a society.

So many people carry hurt and pain locked inside and sadly some go and repeat the same abuse because they don't have an outlet to vent.

Life is not perfect, we all have baggages, what is the gain in making anothers life harder?
It is well

Naija is a terribly abusive society. Everybody with little power over you wants to flex it.
Are we surprised that there is so much violence in society. A lot of people have been made to feel worthless by incessant verbal, psychological and physical abuse to the point that they have no love for themselves let alone for anyone else.

Parents need to be careful what they say

I have a brother-in-law that is a sickler
He is well over 40 now, married to my sister with 2 kids
He comes from a polygamous family
Both his parents are late now

His father (who had 4 wives n several children)
neglected him, never took care of him, no health-care, But always constantly reminded him that he is a sickler and he would die very soon
that he would never make it life, that he would die very soon

Can you imagine a father constantly saying that to his son ?