Hello everyone,

please I'm in need of some advice or tips on how to put my jealousy in check. I get really jealous when i see comments on my fiance's pictures and facebook wall, I get jealous when he tells me of his past relationships, i get jealous even just thinking about how we would be married and other women would be all over him. He is a very attractive man and he's the type to be popular whereever he is because of his pleasant personality. Although i am not bad looking either as i used to be a model, I don't know why i feel this way and i feel it could be a problem for us. I had been single for long time only being in causal relationships so it was easy to just ignore a guy and not be jealous about them but this time i cant ignore how i feel.

Please any advice on how to control this strong feeling of jealous would really help. i am the type of person to keep things bottled up and i know that could be very disastrous in future. I tried talking with him but i still did not feel any better, he put up a picture recently and within a few minutes there were 20likes already and comments from the ladies,he assured me that they didnt mean anything to him, even promised to stop updating his page. I do not want to stop him from being himself. Please what is my problem??

Sorry for the long story!

Read this blog for a start..

http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/relationship_jealousy.html

Pray that God help you deal with the issue.

you better keep calm before u get high bp...


focus on your relationship and your love// let him know your concerns but dont be overly manipulative

enjoy your relationship..

First of all, you need to realise that the problem is completely with you and not him. So here's my advice;
*Never make him pay for something he's innocent of, so show maturity and discretion in your relationship with him.
*Get yourself engaged with useful materials that focus on how to overcome low self-esteem and work on your self-worth.
*Consciously push out thoughts of jealously and replace them with thoughts of gratitude to God for giving you such an attractive man and the priviledge to be his ONLY woman among all others and be grateful and happy that you are.

I wish you the best.
Have fun!

Lol, I really don't know what to say.
I think you should give yourself a pep talk when you have such feelings. Try to see it as one of those things.

You are half way through to the path of jealousy -free since you know that it's an unfounded feeling. All that remains is for you to remind yourself of this fact each time it creeps in on you and you will be finebefore long. Also, try and get really busy with your life to leave as little room as possible for unnecessary headache.

Goodluck.

@bellong
thank you for the link.

and thanks to everyone for your replies. I do not think it is a low self esteem issue in this case,i think it is more of the "men will always cheat" fear especially in these days of our ladies having no qualms about running after someone else's man.

I'm a worrier by nature. But i am trying now to let go, do my part and trust God. I haven't felt this way in a long time, i really need to enjoy it.

Thank you.

Do you get attention from the opposite gender as much as your man gets from the female folks??

If yes, just explain to yourself that the attention he gets is like the one you do and it's never going to be acted on. Unless of course, you trust your ability to handle the attention you get and do not trust that your man can handle the attention properly without falling for it. (Then the issue here will be trust)

If no, then you are probably just insecure. Unsure that you're good enough for him or doubtful that he would meet a girl that is more beautiful and dump you. (Then your issue here is insecurity)

janiebravo:

[b]i think it is more of the "men will always cheat" fear [/b]especially in these days of our ladies having no qualms about running after someone else's man.

I'm a worrier by nature. But i am trying now to let go, do my part and trust God. I haven't felt this way in a long time, i really need to enjoy it.

Thank you.

Flush the bolded completely out of your system, please. Its a fallacy of generalization.

Thank you bellong

@wu-zetian
yes i do get a lot of attention myself but i have no intention of acting on it, it worries him too as most times we have to be apart because of his business but he understands when i try to assure him but its difficult for me to understand as well when he does assure me. now that you mentioned it i think it may be a trust issue because i do not know if he can handle all that attention, i would have to work on that too.

Thanks!

riskit33: First of all, you need to realise that the problem is completely with you and not him. So here's my advice;
*Never make him pay for something he's innocent of, so show maturity and discretion in your relationship with him.
*Get yourself engaged with useful materials that focus on how to overcome low self-esteem and work on your self-worth.
*Consciously push out thoughts of jealously and replace them with thoughts of gratitude to God for giving you such an attractive man and the priviledge to be his ONLY woman among all others and be grateful and happy that you are.

I wish you the best.
Have fun!

I like you advice however, sometimes its not that easy. I am sure poster herself does not want to be jealous. Sometimes jealousy and trust as poster later said are very related. If you trust your parter then jealousy will reduce as you know that nothing will ever come out of it. It seems your relationship is still in early stages and you guys haven't spent too much time together because of his business etc.

I will advice that you should try and build the relationship and spend more time together. When you get to know him better and have that special relationship with him then the jealous thoughts may reduce because you become more convinced about your relationship and you get to know if he can handle it. Its ok to get jealous sometimes so don't beat yourself to death. Its just a sign you love your man but dont become obsessed and start acting out your jealousy. I will advice you try build the relationship and you will discover it would gradually reduce.

Well, I don't see how ladies won't come after him, since you say he's attractive and possibly enjoys the attention.

Op why should you be afraid? Is it only you that is in love or both of you? Are you so dependant or attach on him more than he is to you? ........* last question, na snatch you snatch your boyfriend from him babe abi you dey force yourself on dey guy? why jealously wan kill you na? OP WHAT IS MEANT TO BE IS MEANT TO BE.

Jealousy, the evil-eyed monster, can NEVER be controlled!

It is a CHARACTER FLAW!
You can't change that!

Get a lover