₦airaland Forum

I think Nashville is being too hard on d op. He has some good points.

pickabeau1: What points did the op make @ngokafor

..like improving relationships with their sons..or you want to tell me ALL fathers do that?

..exercise more to stay fit..with pot bellies and ill-health occasioned by poor diet and lack of exercise flying all over the place.

Noted.. and these issues are only peculiar to blacks and nigerians specifically


In the US the leading issue among adolescents is obseity

Even the first lady had to co-opt beyonce into her obesity campaign

Be the change you want to see
Learn about us before you start mouthing off
He does not know anything about us

Ngokafor: ..like improving relationships with their sons..or you want to tell me ALL fathers do that?

..exercise more to stay fit..with pot bellies and ill-health occasioned by poor diet and lack of exercise flying all over the place.

I love black men
Could never date a white man

But black men really have to learn to put their egos aside and learn one or two things.

Most black men find it hard to emotionally connect with their wives and children.
They believe if I provide I'm good
And the thing is that they don't even do it often and when they do,na so so complain.

The intimate parts of child raising are left for the women alone.
Any wonder why mother's are regarded highly by the kids(in most cases)?
I think black men need to get more involved in child raising than they already are.

For the ones who are already doing their best,
RESPECT.
We appreciate!

loretta still stereotyping....

lorretta u: Most black men find it hard to emotionally connect with their wives and children.
They believe if I provide I'm good
And the thing is that they don't even do it often and when they do,na so so complain.

pickabeau1: Are you naija or AA

What difference would it make? If it is the truth it matters not who says it

soul_glo: What difference would it make? If it is the truth it matters not who says it

i dont know.. it matters.. each person's perception is their reality

if one have always had models of bad parenting around him or her; one assumes all blacks are bad parents or make bad fathers

Me I dnt undstnd wat d op is getin at oh,is it only nigerians dat ve dis issue. I feel it an individual thing cz my dad really played with me as a child oh. Nd I dnt tink navshile is hard on him,u can't jst start insultin nigerians nd go free,moreova nigeria has problms also oda countries do 2. We wil get there someday

Thanks ... i dont know what the other posters are insinuating also

zeb04: Me I dnt undstnd wat d op is getin at oh,is it only nigerians dat ve dis issue. I feel it an individual thing cz my dad really played with me as a child oh. Nd I dnt tink navshile is hard on him,u can't jst start insultin nigerians nd go free,moreova nigeria has problms also oda countries do 2. We wil get there someday

pickabeau1: cooly he is not making any point

he is dear,if you can just read between the lines.the summary of all he is saying is that many of the time,african fathers are not always there for their sons and they need to be more emotionally and socially bonded to their sons.moreover fatherhood goes beyond financial support.


i think he is just trying to encourage the fathers in the house to live up to their responsibilities as a wa of supporting the society to reduce crime,afterall charity begins from home and no child was born a criminal.its years of fatherly neglect,training,support,love,advice and encouragement that makes kids go haywire.just see beyond all the insults and you will realise he has tangible points.good evening guys.

kulyie: he is dear,if you can just read between the lines.the summary of all he is saying is that many of the time,african fathers are not always there for their sons and they need to be more emotionally and socially bonded to their sons.moreover fatherhood goes beyond financial support.


i think he is just trying to encourage the fathers in the house to live up to their responsibilities as a wa of supporting the society to reduce crime,afterall charity begins from home and no child was born a criminal.its years of fatherly neglect,training,support,love,advice and encouragement that makes kids go haywire.just see beyond all the insults and you will realise he has tangible points.good evening guys.

Are these problems unique to the african fadas too.... if u want to us to better standards of fatherhood.. then write a normal epistle without being specific to a tribe or race

evening also

pickabeau1: i dont know.. it matters.. each person's perception is their reality

if one have always had models of bad parenting around him or her; one assumes all blacks are bad parents or make bad fathers

thats why i said he is making sweeping generalizations.in between his post,he is passing some essential messages but he is making too much generalizations.dont just discard it.in every thread,there are always one or two things to pick

ok.. no wahala... anyhow so wa pa

happy week

pickabeau1: Are these problems unique to the african fadas too.... if u want to us to better standards of fatherhood.. then write a normal epistle without being specific to a tribe or race

evening also

lol why you dey para.yes,many men are just sperm donors and women impregnators.fatherhood goes beyond that,afterall even roosters impregnate hens,male dogs impregnate female dogs,thr essence is that he is imploring men to be more commited to their kids IF THEY ARE NOT and if they are THEY SHOULD DO MORE,AS IN STEP UP.however you have to consider the mood,environment,personal experiences with fathers and circumstances influence the writers way of passing across his message

Alota fathers down here have issues connecting with their kids expecially their sons early.wouldnt blame them completely.they never had it either.you can't give what you dont have eh...? but they miss alot on the few joys of life and robbing a kid a major part of a normal life too.well i was'nt fortunate to have one but i wouldnt miss mine for the world.

pickabeau1: ok.. no wahala... anyhow so wa pa

happy week

mo wa pa.how family? shey you don dey palemo for christmas.christmas dey com kurukere o.you don dey save and buy xmas things small small?



if you no do,start to dey do o because for me,this years xmas no go derun i don dey save so that after xmas and new year i no go broke and dey find money up and down

troy20: Alota fathers down here have issues connecting with their kids expecially their sons early.wouldnt blame them completely.they never had it either.you can't give what you dont have eh...? but they miss alot on the few joys of life and robbing a kid a major part of a normal life too.well i was'nt fortunate to have one but i wouldnt miss mine for the world.

well luckily for me i have a great father who bonded with me very well from infacy up to this level.we have good bonding and do practically everything together.as a matter of fact we are watching t.v together at the moment while i am typing.



My mom said at infancy he was so all over me.he will change my diapers,bath for me,dress me up,help my mom in taking care of me and all that.i believe her because he is not like the typical african chauvenist.he is way too caring.h doesnt behave like the regular/ typical never stay home dad.


I feel so lucky and blessed to have him so he is one of the exceptions op is talking about

They are too busy jumping from tototototo!
Make una change abeg!
African black. . . the same wahala!
African American black. . . wahala X2!

Tufiakwa. . .

See the most important man in the world. . . PRESIDENT OBAMA. . .ABANDONED BY HIS KENYAN PAPA. . . To go back to Kenya to pursue toto till he died an AMPUTEE-DRUNK!!!

Black women would rejoice the are giving birth to bastards all over the world. . . What a rip-off!

TUFIAAAAAAAAAAKWA!!!

@kulyie By Gods grace we will step into the new year/.... everyone is well...
I no para... the guy is just dwelling on stereotypes.... pity some other posters feel the way

Like u said just now, u have a good relationship with ur dad...


Calotti don show oooo

I think op didn't find the right words to address an important issue but I also think that he has some good points that we should think about.
Africans AND Black Americans have the reputation of being "baby makers" in Europe leaving back black and white mommas. A child here, another there.

I know prejudices are not a good thing but I also believe that this reputation is due to their behaviour.

Many Nigerian fathers provide for their kids financially and that's it. The problems the country has start in the family. Men make babies, provide fiancially and want to be celebrated like kings at home. There is more to raising a child. I know lots of fathers who bring money home (if at all) but are not able to do more. I pity these children.

Kanwulia: They are too busy jumping from tototototo!
Make una change abeg!
African black. . . the same wahala!
African American black. . . wahala X2!

Tufiakwa. . .

See the most important man in the world. . . PRESIDENT OBAMA. . .ABANDONED BY HIS KENYAN PAPA. . . To go back to Kenya to pursue toto all till he died an AMPUTEE-DRUNK!!!

Black women would rejoice the are giving birth to bastards all over the world. . . What a rip-off!

TUFIAAAAAAAAAAKWA!!!

lol.you can say that again.God so good,he learnt from his fathers mistake and he is not filled and consumed by so much arrogance as the president of a nation.infact i was very impresssed in one of his interviews on cnn when he said,he is first a father to malia and the 2nd girl (cant remember her name) before being a president of america.he strolls with his kids on weekends,take them out on dates etc and by 9pm he makes sure they are on bed before giving them a goodnight hug and kiss alongside with their mom.thats what i am talking about



thats what fatherhood is all about.tell me how his kids and him will not have eternal bonding even when they are married and start their families.


There is a woman in our church.she tells me she is married in paper but she is living like a widow.its as if her husband is dead.he was never there for his wife and kids,its once in a while he stays at home talkless of dropping money.her sons are now in the university and because there is no relationship with them or their mom,theyve grown to resent him.they dont call him daddy,they say mummy your husband came home today,what happened.when is he leaving.infact,once he comes home thats when they will say they are going back to school.do you think such kids will ever behave as if they have a father when they become successful.in all of obamas books and interviews,i have never heard or seen him mention his dad.if you notice,he prefers not talking about it,instead he is always saying if not my grandmom.

carefreewannabe: I think op didn't find the right words to address an important issue but I also think that he has some good points that we should think about.
Africans AND Black Americans have the reputation of being "baby makers" in Europe leaving back black and white mommas. A child here, another there.

I know prejudices are not a good thing but I also believe that this reputation is due to their behaviour.

Many Nigerian fathers provide for their kids financially and that's it. The problems the country has start in the family. Men make babies, provide fiancially and want to be celebrated like kings at home. There is more to raising a child. I know lots of fathers who bring money home (if at all) but are not able to do more. I pity these children.

.hmmnn them plenty na.melo lafe ka ninu eyin adepele.check or try and make a research into juvenile centres,remand homes and jails,you will discover that 7o percent of under aged people and adults that are in those places have non existent fathers. What i mean by that is that,their fathers are alive but he is either a never stay home dad,drunkard,junky,puzzy chaser or just completly irresponsible for the welfare of mother and kids



the other day fashola was adressing men on fathers day,he said men hekp gobernment to get rid of touts and reduce the people in jail by staying at home and being fathers to your kids.be concerned about what they do in school and the kinds of friends they hang out with.you are their first teacher and instructor before their academic teacher.i am the governor of a state but you are the governour of your home,so be that to your kids and we will have lesser crimes and a safer society.




Of course we know government cant do everything to tackle insecurity and crime like kidnap,fraud etc but your impact on your sons and daughter can go a long way in reducing inmates.

kulyie: .hmmnn them plenty na.melo lafe ka ninu eyin adepele.check or try and make a research into juvenile centres,remand homes and jails,you will discover that 7o percent of under aged people and adults have non existent fathers.their fathers are alive but he is either a never stay home dad,drunkard,junky,puzzy chaser or just completly irresponsible for the welfare of mother and kids



the other day fashola was adressing men on fathers day,he said men hekp gobernment to get rid of touts and reduce the people in jail by staying at home and being fathers to your kids.be concerned about what they do in school and the kinds of friends they hang out with.you are their first teacher and instructor before their academic teacher.i am the governor of a state but you are the governour of your home,so be that to your kids and we will have lesser crimes and a safer society.




Of course we know government cant do everything to tackle insecurity and crime like kidnap,fraud etc but your impact on your sons and daughter can go a long way in reducing inmates.

You are so on point honey!

I could tell so so many stories about bad fathers who don't even deserve the title father.

pickabeau1: @kulyie By Gods grace we will step into the new year/.... everyone is well...
I no para... the guy is just dwelling on stereotypes.... pity some other posters feel the way

Like u said just now, u have a good relationship with ur dad...


Calotti don show oooo

good to hear everyone is doing fine at your end we thank God for that so back to the matter


yes we have a good relationship but that doesnt mean we dont have quarells especially when he starts with the subject when will you marry issh' i want you to get married,when its not as if you are a nun etc and ill be like daddy the era of imposing things on me has passed,you cannot be distating the lifestyle i should live because of culture,that is none of my buisness.basically that is the only and central thing that causes rift between me and him,but we settle it asap.




Then as per calloti.lol,whenever you see her,you know you will see a blunt,down to earth post.omo i too gbadun that babe die

i really dont think there are enough "fathers" to go around, there are men, yes, but not everyone can be a perfect father [if there's any such thing, empirically speaking].

personally, i dont see the use of crying over spilt milk, best to take what life has given you and make something with it.

black males in particular are under a lot of pressure, its more difficult for them to fill the "father" roles.

tpia@:
i really dont think there are enough "fathers" to go around, there are men, yes, but not everyone can be a perfect father [if there's any such thing, empirically speaking].

personally, i dont see the use of crying over spilt milk, best to take what life has given you and make something with it.

black males in particular are under a lot of pressure, its more difficult for them to fill the "father" roles.

You have made a very good point! They are under a lot of pressure. they could reduce it by stopping to have plenty of baby mommas, for example.

Nevertheless, it's not only crying over spilt milk, it's rather about making a change for future generations. Nigerian men need to change their attitude. Many of them think it's perfectly normal to NOT see their kids in years in the name of making big money.

tpia@:
i really dont think there are enough "fathers" to go around, there are men, yes, but not everyone can be a perfect father [if there's any such thing, empirically speaking].

personally, i dont see the use of crying over spilt milk, best to take what life has given you and make something with it.

black males in particular are under a lot of pressure, its more difficult for them to fill the "father" roles.

tpia i hope you realise that there is nothing in this world that cannot be corrected,including human beings- as in turning men to fathers.of course we all know no one is perfect and no body can ever be a perfect father,but at least,they should make effort and the kids will get to realise that,ha,daddy is trying,thats the point.





I dont know of any other person,but for me,i want to see less puzzy huting men,(less animals,i refuse to call those men) raping their daughters or househelps,feeling no shame and claiming their daughter or house help 'seduced them',i want to see less tail in between the legs kinds of men assaulting the psyche of their kids by beating and or raping their wives in the presence of their kids.




Is that too much to ask for? I dont think so

@cooly abegii

The fashola wey dey talk no be hin mentor be baba agberooo

Having a good relationship does not preclude fighting

Even twins dey fight

This thread is slowly degeneratin to what it's original intention was..

From black to ..
Naija male bashing

Smh

carefreewannabe: You have made a very good point! They are under a lot of pressure. they could reduce it by stopping to have plenty of baby mommas, for example.

Nevertheless, it's not only crying over spilt milk, it's rather about making a change for future generations. Nigerian men need to change their attitude. Many of them think it's perfectly normal to NOT see their kids in years in the name of making big money.

gbam.just take a look at what has become of the lives of fela's numerous kids by different baby mamas.i doubt whether he even saw most of the kids before he died.all his interest was in his music social activism career,loose scum bag kind of women,hemp,alchol and debauchery.tufiaaaakwa

pickabeau1: @cooly abegii

The fashola wey dey talk no be hin mentor be baba agberooo

Having a good relationship does not preclude fighting

Even twins dey fight

This thread is slowly degeneratin to what it's original intention was..

From black to ..
Naija male bashing

Smh

'jagaban of africa' is not his mentor,even if he is his mentor,he is JUST A POLITICAL MENTOR AND NOTHING MORE. For example,it is possible for an intelligent man who is a smoker to be mu mentor.however,i will only pick the good traits in him and leave the bad.meanwhile i dont think it is degenrating into a 'male bashing thread',its just calling mem back home and reminding them of their roles and responsibilities and also to leave awon oni idi gigans,alaye bibajes who have nothing more to offer more than their slack vagynas alone and come home,simple!

Kulyie, carefree and other ladies. Thanks for having a calm, rational discussion. OP seemed to have come for a discussion in the beginning (though he had some very flaky points). But he quickly revealed the bitterness, bias and anger (I'm only half black but I love you blacks more than you love yourselves? Da hell?) and shoved his own thread downhill. You guys helped him save it. Lol.

ileobatojo: Kulyie, carefree and other ladies. Thanks for having a calm, rational discussion. OP seemed to have come for a discussion in the beginning (though he had some very flaky points). But he quickly revealed the bitterness, bias and anger (I'm only half black but I love you blacks more than you love yourself? Da hell?) and shoved his own thread downhill. You guys helped him save it. Lol.

lol.i understand.the guy first came and approached the matter with an air of arrogance and a feeling of self righteousness but trust nairalanders na,they helped him remove the fire on his head.unfortunatly,the guy don vex go




chaiii to many egos were bruised that they had to resort to personality attacks assuming he was calmer about it,he would have likely gotten a more receptive reply/ attention,since we know say guys no dey play with their ALMIGHTY EGO