Ngokafor: @ihedinobi,you are so on point!

..#team nice guys#!!!..they rock!

They absolutely do, lady, they absolutely do

What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in my kitchen to prepare my lunch?

Never believe what a woman say but believe what she does.

Ngokafor: @ihedinobi,you are so on point!

..#team nice guys#!!!..they rock!

2s£xy:
What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in my kitchen to prepare my lunch?

Never believe what a woman say but believe what she does.

Tehehehe... Even if she no really believe am, na true!

Ihedinobi don't listen to that girl that just commented.
Nonsense.

WackyJ1: Ihedinobi don't listen to that girl that just commented.
Nonsense.

Lol. Abeg wetin she do? I no send weda she believe o or she no believe. Na still true talk

Ihedinobi don't listen to that girl that just commented.
Nonsense.
If you see what she said at that blackberry thread you go know say she No get sense

^^ Lol. The blackberry thread? Link it again, abeg.

...@ op i can see some childish peeps urging you not to listen to me..well unless you are gay and intend to marry a man in future,then go right ahead and listen to them..

....the truth is that most normal ladies hate and cannot stand jerks..they make very bad husbands who can drive even the most cool-headed lady insane with their chronic irresponsibility..who wants such drama kings in their lives?..not moi i tell you

..like you rightly pointed out,there is a difference between a wimp and a nice guy..but unfortunately, a lot of people confuse a wimp for a nice guy..

..whether you believe me or not,i am proudly team nice guys like you described because my fiance is one...he loves me and is not afraid to say it or show me..,but at the same time,he is no push-over in any way and i know it...as much as he's sweet and all,he is also firm and i know things he will not tolerate..

...so my bro,stick to being the nice guy you want to be cos it will pay off in the end...you can book-mark that.

Marriage for me is a thing I dread considering the heartbreak I felt/feeling now. It's my first and there won't be a second. Just for clarity, the bad boy route isn't an option for me. I'm a bit traditional and old-fashioned, I still believe in the quaint love that is endangered in this age. My mom has impressed upon my brothers and I the importance of keeping a family together no matter what. However, life is full of surprises. We can sometimes be dealt some bad cards without caution. My one and, hopefully, only experience has taught me never to expect too much from people regardless of promises made or sworn. I just hope I have learned. Although my tendency towards having a deep connection with a partner can replicate another heartbreak but I want to believe the personal problems I had led to a loss of believe in myself which of course made me the king of wimps. That's unattractive to a lady no doubt. But isn't real love understanding, patient and strong enough to hold on or is that just a myth?

2s£xy:
You guys just make it seem like a 'nice' guy is plagued with leprosy and as such they should be isolated by avoidance. That's my annoyance with girls.

Day by day, these set of guys are almost in extinction by exodus which is a product yielded by spontaneous reaction of the society that does not appreciate them.

What I hate most is when they categorise them as WEAKLING--not you but by girls/ladies whom they loved.

People should learn to appreciate these guys for whom/what they TRULY are because what they do for their women,girls or ladies is borne out of pure, unadultrated and undiluted love. Alas! The reverse is the case and when realities permeate through their senses, they are mutilated and this progressively metamorphose their TRUE BEING into what they never hoped for.


What made him a weakling IS excessiveness of the affection, attention, calls, LOVE... Really, women DONT want this and I will slap anyone who say she wants it into coma. The guy would fan her at night when there is heat, massage her feet, sleep on floor while she sleeps on the bed when she was sick, cook for her when was sick etc. In the end, what did it earn him? A WEAKLING like a badge of Honor.

Word!!!! Lol at slapping a lady into coma.
They don't appreciate what certain guys do for them only for them to call him weakling because he's always nice thereby making another lady fall victim of his new behaviour.

Graham123: Marriage for me is a thing I dread considering the heartbreak I felt/feeling now. It's my first and there won't be a second. Just for clarity, the bad boy route isn't an option for me. I'm a bit traditional and old-fashioned, I still believe in the quaint love that is endangered in this age. My mom has impressed upon my brothers and I the importance of keeping a family together no matter what. However, life is full of surprises. We can sometimes be dealt some bad cards without caution. My one and, hopefully, only experience has taught me never to expect too much from people regardless of promises made or sworn. I just hope I have learned. Although my tendency towards having a deep connection with a partner can replicate another heartbreak but I want to believe the personal problems I had led to a loss of believe in myself which of course made me the king of wimps. That's unattractive to a lady no doubt. But isn't real love understanding, patient and strong enough to hold on or is that just a myth?

Awww!! ...dont worry,you'll certainly meet a lady who will appreciate your good nature and would almost kill to have you in her life..trust me.

@Ngokafor, I'm impressed with what you said and am cool with it. But it looks like these guys have major issues with you o. And I'm one curious cat.

Ngokafor:


Awww!! ...dont worry,you'll certainly meet a lady who will appreciate your good nature and would almost kill to have you in her life..trust me.

Thanks, I'm too sure I will. I'm extremely good-looking and ladies love me for fun. Just that I'm a nice guy too. Opposing qualities.

Graham123: Marriage for me is a thing I dread considering the heartbreak I felt/feeling now. It's my first and there won't be a second. Just for clarity, the bad boy route isn't an option for me. I'm a bit traditional and old-fashioned, I still believe in the quaint love that is endangered in this age. My mom has impressed upon my brothers and I the importance of keeping a family together no matter what. However, life is full of surprises. We can sometimes be dealt some bad cards without caution. My one and, hopefully, only experience has taught me never to expect too much from people regardless of promises made or sworn. I just hope I have learned. Although my tendency towards having a deep connection with a partner can replicate another heartbreak but I want to believe the personal problems I had led to a loss of believe in myself which of course made me the king of wimps. That's unattractive to a lady no doubt. But isn't real love understanding, patient and strong enough to hold on or is that just a myth?

Not to all ladies, man. Generalization is the grandfather of iddiocy. It's been made to look like being nice means you could never be eligible for ladies. That's one bigass lie.

Focus on your career and giving yourself a full-orbed life. Allow yourself to have fun. Pour your life and affections into things other than a woman. That way, you'll have your own life and stuff that'll absorb any further disappointments or give you stuff to do with your woman and kids.

@ihedinobi Rightly said.

Ihedinobi: ^^ Lol. The blackberry thread? Link it again, abeg.

Go find the link yourself since you don already show say you be top notch nairaland researcher

Ihedinobi:

Tehehehe... Even if she no really believe am, na true!

Lol enjoy your Nice Guy praise na you be the chief.
As for Me the nice Guy inside dey firm under lock and key with Four corner sealing jutsu and edo tensei

Ngokafor: ...
....the truth is that most normal ladies hate and cannot stand jerks..they make very bad husbands who can drive even the most cool-headed lady insane with their chronic irresponsibility..who wants such drama kings in their lives?..not moi i tell you

Ah you don get fiancée? you na top level oh. And you go come here and dey deceive our fellow bretheren. When time reach just PM Me invite
"Most normal ladies hate Jerks" hahaha i laugh. This means that 80% of girls are abnormal na

WackyJ1:
Go find the link yourself since you don already show say you be top notch nairaland researcher

C'mon, don't be a tightass. Gimme the darn link.

Lol enjoy your Nice Guy praise na you be the chief.
As for Me the nice Guy inside dey firm under lock and key with Four corner sealing jutsu and edo tensei

My kuchiyose is strong, shinobi. I can summon Nice Wacky out, you know

Ihedinobi:
It was the hardest thing I ever did (at least, that's how it felt) to walk away from my ex, but I did and it was because I was certain she had no conception of the value of the love I'd given to her. That's where you see that Nice Guys aren't Wimps. They can walk out the door and will do so if the girl continues playing silly games. And they're never the worse for it.

yeah, right, I walked away.

Craig Davis comes to mind: '... 'm walking away... From trouble in my life. 'm walking away so I can find a better place.'

Wacky, just finished that blackberry thread. Omo mehn, na so so hide hide dem de hide post for dia. I no see any major talk from Ngokafor for dia.

Anyhow, I don already tell you say dat guy seriously eff up. If I smash my babe's phone, I'm not gonna apologize for doing so. Nor will I make any sort of reparations until I've satisfied my reason for doing so.

You know, I completely agree with spoiling one's woman, being her knight in shining armor, but there is such a thing as being her fool. That I do not agree with. That guy should have let her stew in her anger until she matured. Being nice is not the same as being silly.

The ish of always calling, always texting etc. I used to do that. I would still do it. It is my prinviple that the man should always reach out to the woman. But the instant it's taken for granted, I'll let the little girl be. There's enough craziness out there in the world to have to burden myself with more craziness in my Control.

Far as I'm concerned, you want a relationship, you find a real grown-up woman not a kid, not that I think that there are that many sha.

Ihedinobi: Wacky, just finished that blackberry thread. Omo mehn, na so so hide hide dem de hide post for dia. I no see any major talk from Ngokafor for dia.

Anyhow, I don already tell you say dat guy seriously eff up. If I smash my babe's phone, I'm not gonna apologize for doing so. Nor will I make any sort of reparations until I've satisfied my reason for doing so.

You know, I completely agree with spoiling one's woman, being her knight in shining armor, but there is such a thing as being her fool. That I do not agree with. That guy should have let her stew in her anger until she matured. Being nice is not the same as being silly.

The ish of always calling, always texting etc. I used to do that. I would still do it. It is my prinviple that the man should always reach out to the woman. But the instant it's taken for granted, I'll let the little girl be. There's enough craziness out there in the world to have to burden myself with more craziness in my Control.

Far as I'm concerned, you want a relationship, you find a real grown-up woman not a kid, not that I think that there are that many sha.

Oh Ihedinobi, you and relationship wahala. You no dey taya?

Ishilove:
Oh Ihedinobi, you and relationship wahala. You no dey taya?

Na my new obssession be dat.

Ihedinobi:

Na my new obssession be dat.

You are already sounding like a beaten n piss off character , I wonder which girl did this to u

ITbomb:
You are already sounding like a beaten n piss off character , I wonder which girl did this to u

We hear what we are now, don't we?

I guess you made it seem like she is irreplaceable. Never give that notion! Never make it seem like she is the only thing in your life.

Graham123: This is an intelligent thread, a breath of fresh air from the lazy threads that has come to characterize Nairaland lately.
Everybody has made some valid points, most borne of experience and applicable to an extent depending on who your partner. However, I'm inclined to lean more to Ihedinobi's perspective - his description of a 'nice guy' is the best option to push you far in relationship. My problem with this is it doesn't always work unless you have a switch you can turn at will to fine tune your emotions as situations demand. Sometimes, you meet someone who says/does the right thing and you let your 'nice guy' guard down and you unconsciously slip into the wimp zone. Other circumstances may arise, which of course one may not have foreseen, that can turn you to a wimp. An example is my experience dating a very good lady for 2 years 7 months. Initially, I was a nice guy but one year in and I started having some personal career problems; I lost my confidence, self-esteem and thus became clingy and insanely jealous. She left me few months ago to date a guy I have been complaining about when we were together.
I never prepared from such career downturn which led to my loss of confidence. So I hope you can see not everything is white or black.

2s£xy:
I guess you made it seem like she is irreplaceable. Never give that notion! Never make it seem like she is the only thing in your life.

Absolutely.

Ihedinobi: You know what else I could kill for apart from patriotic military duty? Adultery, bro.

Certainly, I wouldn't entertain such thoughts but if it befalls me, I will hold no restrains to evacuate the culprit. The number of children is not a guarantee that a woman will stay in my house forever but the precipitation of her demeanor, either latent or pronounced.

Ihedinobi:
I would have called the op of the first link a fool if I had got on that thread. Unless there's more to the story than he was saying or else it wasn't true, that's what he was. If your wife is making a bed for adultery and she won't listen to your warnings, leave her to fall into it and kick her azz out after that. And apologize to no one for it.

Yeah... Right! That's the misconception available to people who are not characterised or wired that way. But I would like to advise that you should not be quick to castigate such people. Many people would call him weak,mugu, maga... But I say he IS NEITHER any of those adjectives that labelled him so. These kind of people do so because they don't want to be blamed for their actions incase it gets to a third party who may not know what had transpired.

These men are patient but deadly except for the grace of God that would rather exorcise the demon in him.

You would be shocked to find out what kind of thoughts would stream through the mind of such man and if there was a way to tap into that realm by telepathy, you would shiver down your spines due to the deception of outward appearance(s).

They ain't stupid!

Ihedinobi:
I would have advised the poor guy from the second thread to just get some space. Maybe travel or something to get a sense of perspective. He'll need it to decide. Adultery is one thing I know that will take a great deal from me to forgive and I won't pretend that it's an easy thing to advise. There's a reason that the Bible even when rejecting divorce allows it in a case of adultery.

cool!

Ihedinobi:
Having said all that, bro, do you seriously, honestly believe that all women are like those two fools those threads were about? Or like the iddiots that say that a nice guy is not a good partner? I'm not married yet so I probably can't tell you one person besides my mom that loves a man for being kind to her.

Obviously, the chemistry is rather complicated than simple; it is wholly latent and passively psychological. This is why even the culprits are oblivious of their own atrocities(they will hardly yield to such ideology) and you will hear guys saying girls have fish brain or they don't know what they want.

Only those who have had their baptism of fire with these species know and understand their terrain.

Ihedinobi:
But I assure you that the fools who diss men for being sensitive, caring and humane to them are the same ones that try to convert their emotionally abusive and dysfunctional bad boys into nice guys. Everybody except nobody knows that.

if those who are aggressively abused would still say: '... I miss my ex' what do you expect and you see why its psychological and somewhat biological and body chemistry?

Ihedinobi:
So I could give a flying one at the moon about what these little immature airheads think about relationships. I'll always be a nice guy. I'll marry a woman who loves my niceness, my willingness to fly out of a high-powered meeting to take her to the hospital to have our baby, my presence of mind in getting her those flowers just cos I saw them in a shop window, my dedication to teaching her to bike so that she can hang out with me more often.

I pray you meet her. Majority just don't get it. If you read my other post again, you would wonder why someone that had a man massage her feet, cook for her, fan her, etc would call him a weakling.

This had me in a pensive mood; I was in brown study for long and pondering over it per milli-second.

Damn! Damn that woman that would call me such.

Didn't you read that 'How to Maintain and Control a Woman' thread? Did you see where the OP confessed that a girl he was TOO nice and that was WHY she left him?

They won't agree but I have read countless thread where most confessed that they don't want a 'brother' in person of a 'boyfriend'--another way to demoralise,demean and criticise 'Mr Nice Guy'. The earlier you accept this man, the better for you. It is simple chemical equation.

Ihedinobi:
Seriously, the hell with bimbos who think I need to kick their azz emotionally to be more sexy. I just need to hit the gym and commit to a healthier diet and be nicer to my body than I have been for a while to be Mr Sizzling Pants. And that be what I'ma do, bro. That's all.

That's all, folks.

Here is quote from the 'why guys avoid dating beautiful girls'

uj_sizzle:
Nah, we know the good and bad guys. We just want the latter still sometimes.

2sexy, a guy who smashes a phone that he cannot afford to replace because he's jealous and then starts begging forgiveness for doing so and bribing the girl is not being loving. He's being silly.

Love is a gift. When you love you bring something to the table. When you start getting needy for affection, it is usually because the other person is not matching your own giving or because you are not giving at all, you're only taking and have addicted yourself to taking from that person. The cure all the time is to walk away. All the time, bro. It is not niceness to stay. It is foolishness.

Love no be by force. If a girl or guy is not ready to give what you're ready to give, you stay at your own risk. I guarantee there'll be a lot of heartache for the lover.

The cure is not 'entirely' to walk away. The cure is NEVER make her your no 1 priority; never go into a relationship with the hope that it would end in marriage and also factor in the age bracket so that you can know how to plot your graph because life is sinusoidal.

Our exigency, as a man, in a relationship is to ensure that the girls we love are not lacking emotionally,psychologically, morally, mentally et al. Hence, the need to propagate these elements where they are needed.

The bad boys don't really care about these things and their investment is acutely calculated and timely projected for an exist strategy. They don't really care if a girl loves them or not.

Agreed, it was inhuman to have smashed the BB but if that's the way to pass his message across after all channels has been exhausted, so be it. Which is better: to slap her or smash the phone? Tell me, buddy!

My advice to that dude was to drill her hole excruciatingly and then kick her out. Don't know whether you saw it.

Vengeance has never healed the hurting and never can, bro. That's why players still lose out in the end.

The cure is to let it go. That way you can heal and love someone more open to your love. Or else, you foul the springs of human affection within you and turn into an angry, bitter lonely cynic completely emotionally bankrupt.

When you find a good woman, bro, she's #1 in your life. She can't be less. You would shoot yourself assigning her to a lower place just because you're afraid she'll hurt you.

So, I disagree with punishing a girl who has hurt you emotionally. It does not help you get better. Walk away, bear yiur grief and let yourself love again. There are real women who are capable of loving a man so well that he forgets who did what to him. Of course they're hard to find. What good thing isn't? But if you stay in the right condition of mind, they'll find you and you them.