careytommy: As you make your bed, so you lie on it.
You have made your's so do the needful and stop disturbing others.

kulyie: temptation,madea's big happy family as well as haves and haves not however i am not yet done with the latter

DailyNews: Speechless! Honestly, I don't even know what to say to you cos to me, its already too late and u need to exercise patience and train your kids. I know my advice may not be the best, but 18years To me its already too late.

But then, I would love to use this medium to reach out to young people (male and female) who are still single and may read this.

Marriage takes more than love to work!
Marriage takes more than just money to work!


You made the first mistake of agreeing to marry a man who do not share similar belief with you!

I am not a religious bigot, but it is safer to marry someone who believes in what u believe in and shares same faith and belief with u.

See, I have a quote I formed myself after observing things in this life and goes like this: “men are shaped by their beliefs, and most of these beliefs are either spiritual or religious!”

The second mistake is resigning your job without first making sure he has established the business (super market like u said) for u. And then, what happened to the money u saved from ur past salaries before u resigned U squandered them on him in the name of LOVE too

It is not a bad idea for a man to suggest to his wife to resign a task demanding and time-consuming job in order to focus more on their kids, but he and the woman ought to sit down intelligently and harmoniously to craft a backup or alternative job or business for the woman before she quits her job. Quitting the job should come after the business has been set up or while its being set up, and not the other way.

Lastly, our parents most times act as God's agents and voices, but most times, we don't listen to them, maybe because we sometimes believe that we know too much, and are too exposed, educated and civilized than them, and hence, hardly take their honest counsels when it comes to romance and marriage, too bad.

Whenever your parents or elderly strangers are objecting your marriage to someone, especially when they don't have any personal issue with the person, pls consider their counsel and look closely into their reasons for objecting the union, rather than waving it aside in the name of: I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM or HER!

What a sad story indeed! Wish I had better advice or solution to offer. May God show u the way and send forth a solution your way soonest.

juman: ^^
Getting job in nigeria is not as easy as that. And she has a dominating husband.

bukatyne: Get a job or source of income first and reconcile with your parents.

bukatyne:

Have you heard 'better late than never?'

No time is too late to start afresh if need be.

25 + 18 = 43

If she's to live till 75 on the average, she has about 32more years to live.

@OP:

You are doing your children a disservice staying in your 'marriage'. They are old enough to stand on their own. It's time for you to get you life back. See the last 18years as a mistake save the two kids, it is time to forge ahead. Don't let your past ruin your future.

Get a job or source of income first and reconcile with your parents.

dayokanu:

I think her case is almost hopeless

18yrs out of a job, i doubt anyone would want to employ her again

No money to start a business,

No family to run to or help you. 2 kids to care for

Your husband really has cornered you where he wanted

First rule to control and abuse a woman, Have her quit her job and depend on you. Who else would be easier to control if not one who comes to you for every penny

the only thing you can do is t lock yourself and your daughter in the room and cry to her and warn her sternly never to make the same mistake of depending on another human for finances

Guitarlife: Guys guys guys *snaps fingers*

Am disappointed nobody is thinking outta the box.

These are the highlights and some of you are getting unnecessarily worked up.

1. The husband is a muslim.

This means that the man has the express right to marry up to 4 wives.
This automatically makes it impossible for the woman to expect to be treated like an only wife.

2. The husband has bee living in abuja for a long time.

To the best of my understanding, it means he is maRried to another woman over there.
Even if its not the allegation by this wife that the man is busy philandering does not hold water because he may just be sorting out which woman to marry to complete his slot for all we care.

Its obvious all the actions of this man are linked one way or the other to his religiuous orientation.

I can say this because my dad is from a muslim background and all my uncles from my paternal side are alfas and imams.

So this is not religious profiling . I am only trying to open the eyes of single ladies out there who might be reading this.

Thanks God for my mom.

Toughest Woman Ever Liveth!!

Ofcourse my dads brothers have one time or the other tried all these rubbish with us too, just that my mama had counted the cost and she was prepared to fight which she did and won.

But like I said, not all women infact very few women are as tough as my mom.

So @Op I wish you strength and the grace to pull through this difficult moment of your life.

It is well with you.

pickabeau1: Ok.. I have not seen the first and last but I liked the second one

About the woman dying of cancer and her last son was not realy hers' abi?

pickabeau1: cooly cooly TP Lover

I will go and get these films immediately i leave work

I have seen a bit though


Have u seen Witness Protection

For Coloured Girls

Good Deeds

Daddy's Little Girls

Efemena_xy: Despite all that's been said and done, the fact is: It's not easy for any woman (don't know about the men folk) to turn her back on eighteen years of married life.

I know this sounds crazy but sometimes, it hard for us humans to adopt a change in lifestyle after being stuck in one for so long. As you get older, you get more laid back, more accepting of situations, less willing to start afresh - and it'll take superhuman effort to up sticks and leave.

Why for example, do inmates in prison, after having spent a very, very, long stretch in there - find it difficult to re-integrate and adjust to living in 'normal' society? Many would even tell you they prefer going back to prison because they're more used to the routine of life in there.

So applying the same analogy here, why would this woman deem fit now to leave? After giving the best years of her life to this man? I think in her hearts of hearts, she doesn't want to leave, but only wants a change of attitude from her husband towards her. She's educated and smart - if she wanted to leave (and I mean really wanted to), she would have done so long before now, especially with her husband living apart from her in a different state. Nothing stopped her from reconciling with her family, getting back into working for an employer when it was still feasible and sorting out the mess in her life.

She simply used her kids as an excuse for staying behind and now that they've almost flown the nest, that excuse isn't there for her to hide behind. I think what this woman really needs and wants, is to reconcile her differences with her husband and she knows in her heart deep down that she'll never leave him.

Now that's my opinion of this story.

Efemena_xy: ^^ Exactly.

And yes, you are right that it's not too late to start again but the question is: does she really want to? She's probably asked herself - of what use would that be? If she's not leaving to look for a man, then she's going to live one very lonely life out there on her own (esp. if she hasn't settled her differences with her family).

I think she's so used to being surrounded with / by people, even her obnoxious in-laws, she probably feels she can 'manage' the situation.

I may be wrong in my assumptions, but one thing I'm certain off, is that this woman has got serious self-esteem issues. Her confidence and belief in herself has been chipped away over the years by her husband.

Poor soul.

kulyie: yes.you are right.

pickabeau1:

I have seen the stage play on which this film is based
The woman's mum becomes a counsellor with one old guy like that

I will look out for the movie rightaway

Efemena_xy: Despite all that's been said and done, the fact is: It's not easy for any woman (don't know about the men folk) to turn her back on eighteen years of married life.

I know this sounds crazy but sometimes, it hard for us humans to adopt a change in lifestyle after being stuck in one for so long. As you get older, you get more laid back, more accepting of situations, less willing to start afresh - and it'll take superhuman effort to up sticks and leave.

Why for example, do inmates in prison, after having spent a very, very, long stretch in there - find it difficult to re-integrate and adjust to living in 'normal' society? Many would even tell you they prefer going back to prison because they're more used to the routine of life in there.

So applying the same analogy here, why would this woman deem fit now to leave? After giving the best years of her life to this man? I think in her hearts of hearts, she doesn't want to leave, but only wants a change of attitude from her husband towards her. She's educated and smart - if she wanted to leave (and I mean really wanted to), she would have done so long before now, especially with her husband living apart from her in a different state. Nothing stopped her from reconciling with her family, getting back into working for an employer when it was still feasible and sorting out the mess in her life.

She simply used her kids as an excuse for staying behind and now that they've almost flown the nest, that excuse isn't there for her to hide behind. I think what this woman really needs and wants, is to reconcile her differences with her husband and she knows in her heart deep down that she'll never leave him.

Now that's my opinion of this story.