Hi house,
I've been a silent follower of this section on nairaland for a long time, however I have something that is eating me up in my mind. So here goes:-
My bf and I have been dating on and off for 2years now. The first time we broke up (last year) he had cheated on me, I forgave him. We broke up a second time becos he was upset that I travelled out of the country on a short break "without him knowing" according to him (I told him o but he just didn't want me to go). In the middle of all the fights and begging him about the trip he uploaded a strange girl's pix on his dp. My bf is so inlove with himself that he only uses his personal pix as dp on his phone so I went into a mad rage and tears when I saw the lady's picture on his dp. To cut the long story short, i was so hurt that after a few weeks I went online, copied a picture of a nigerian male model (Ngo Okafor) and sent it to my guy and I told him that the guy in the pix just finished shagging me now and that he's better that my bf in bed. We broke up of course. Mind you I have always been faithfull to him but did this to spite him becos he had cheated on me before and also flaunting a girl on his dp. Now, we are reconciled and have been back together for a year now, however, he keeps refering to the pix that I sent him when we talk. I'm dying of guilt and don't know if I should tell him the truth. Would I look foolish to him? I worry if he would that I'm lying if I say the truth. Would he think that I'm desprate to keep him? Pls your thought woulkd help. (

Heaven helps those who help self.

common tell him d truth...
u were only being humane by ur actions

just tell him and let ur mind be free.. U tell him along with how much u love him which was why u had to act to such extent.. The way u tell him and how serious u're and how bad u feel in representing the matter to him will make him consider u being truthful and u'll be forgiven.. Dats it.. Wish u all the best..

The worst decisions are taken during angry moments.
From your write up, the only thing holding you back is your pride. Just let it go and tell him instead of torturing yourselves.

Looking @ the issue, me thinks this relationship is weird.
In my own opinion, your relationship might not last. If it does, it will have a lot of hard times.

OP,how old are you. Let me know,so I can use it to guage your action and the way forward. And tell us the truth. Have you ever cheated on him? With any guy?

If I had some cash for free, I would have sent some your way, bro.

She is clearly fighting a lost cause. That guy does not love/respect her. When someone does not respect you, they can't love you, no matter how hard you try. Been there done that.

idnoble135: Looking @ the issue, me thinks this relationship is weird.
In my own opinion, your relationship might not last. If it does, it will have a lot of hard times.

jenny2007: Hi house,
I've been a silent follower of this section on nairaland for a long time, however I have something that is eating me up in my mind. So here goes:-
My bf and I have been dating on and off for 2years now. The first time we broke up (last year) he had cheated on me, I forgave him. We broke up a second time becos he was upset that I travelled out of the country on a short break "without him knowing" according to him (I told him o but he just didn't want me to go). In the middle of all the fights and begging him about the trip he uploaded a strange girl's pix on his dp. My bf is so inlove with himself that he only uses his personal pix as dp on his phone so I went into a mad rage and tears when I saw the lady's picture on his dp. To cut the long story short, i was so hurt that after a few weeks I went online, copied a picture of a nigerian male model (Ngo Okafor) and sent it to my guy and I told him that the guy in the pix just finished shagging me now and that he's better that my bf in bed. We broke up of course. Mind you I have always been faithfull to him but did this to spite him becos he had cheated on me before and also flaunting a girl on his dp. Now, we are reconciled and have been back together for a year now, however, he keeps refering to the pix that I sent him when we talk. I'm dying of guilt and don't know if I should tell him the truth. Would I look foolish to him? I worry if he would that I'm lying if I say the truth. Would he think that I'm desprate to keep him? Pls your thought woulkd help. (

idnoble135: Looking @ the issue, me thinks this relationship is weird.
In my own opinion, your relationship might not last. If it does, it will have a lot of hard times.

from d bolded i tink dis is d ideal reply...
but as a gal who is so in love u will not c d hand writing on the wall...

shey na ur first bobo ni

Thanks guy for the advice so far. I'm actually thinking of telling him the truth instead of feeling guilty.
And @DanHumprehy; no I have NEVER cheated on him before.I guess the issue hurts his ego and that's why he keeps bringing it up.

jenny2007: Hi house,
I've been a silent follower of this section on nairaland for a long time, however I have something that is eating me up in my mind. So here goes:-
My bf and I have been dating on and off for 2years now. The first time we broke up (last year) he had cheated on me, I forgave him. We broke up a second time becos he was upset that I travelled out of the country on a short break "without him knowing" according to him (I told him o but he just didn't want me to go). In the middle of all the fights and begging him about the trip he uploaded a strange girl's pix on his dp. My bf is so inlove with himself that he only uses his personal pix as dp on his phone so I went into a mad rage and tears when I saw the lady's picture on his dp. To cut the long story short, i was so hurt that after a few weeks I went online, copied a picture of a nigerian male model (Ngo Okafor) and sent it to my guy and I told him that the guy in the pix just finished shagging me now and that he's better that my bf in bed. We broke up of course. Mind you I have always been faithfull to him but did this to spite him becos he had cheated on me before and also flaunting a girl on his dp. Now, we are reconciled and have been back together for a year now, however, he keeps refering to the pix that I sent him when we talk. I'm dying of guilt and don't know if I should tell him the truth. Would I look foolish to him? I worry if he would that I'm lying if I say the truth. Would he think that I'm desprate to keep him? Pls your thought woulkd help. (

whats ur BF name sef?

What a silly thing you did. You both need to grow up please.

You better don't tell him.Try not to feel guilty cos if you tell him d truth, he might not feel jealous when you use this prank again.

Rides in with my e-porshe

Let bywents be bywents

You've Been Foolish Before, Neither Of What You Do Now Or Don't Do Would Make You Look Less Foolish. If You Tell Him, You'd Definitely Look Foolish To Him And If You Don't Tell Him The Truth, You Know Within Yourself Your 'Foolishness' Abounds.


But Your Relationship? On And Off. Kai! That's Somehow. I Think You Should Start Weighing Your Options And Start Reading The Writings On The Wall.

The Obvious Is Obvious Here.

i dont get ur relationship. From ur story the guy hs nevr used ur pic as his dp cuz he's so ''inlove with himself'' lyk u put it but ws quick to upload a pic of another girl wen y'all had issues, and evn dat didnt make u breakup wv him
but he found d need to call off ur r'ship soon as u also paid him bk in his own coin. Me thinks this guy aint really into u girl


@TOpic Me thinks its best u come clean n tell him the truth or else ur always gnna feel uneasy. Even if he doesnt believe u ur conscience will b clear cuz u know u told him the truth.

Keneking: Heaven helps those who help self.

bro.. technically, heaven helps those who cant help self and admit so. so whosever came up wit diz quote must av been one selfish S.O.B.

Danhumprey: OP,how old are you. Let me know,so I can use it to guage your action and the way forward. And tell us the truth. Have you ever cheated on him? With any guy?

forget bout her age, if u wanna say anytin meaningful to d young lady just do it.. 'Luv' makes even a 50 yr old behave like a toddler. @OP.. If i truly loved som1, i dnt think i'll constantly remind them of their past err.. yea, especially if she repented. ok, lets assume he does luv u and he does diz becoz he still feels angry and probably insecure..perhaps d pic he even uploaded didnt mean anytin to him too.. maybe u got him angry and he did dat or his friends placed a silly bet. bt wateva d case, wat u did was immatured. You shud av asked him respectfully, who d chic was to to him. Hw do u think it's gonna work when you've not told him the truth? ..ur guilt alone is enuf to destroy d relationship all over again.

Nope,never tell him.Because sunshine,if you do he'll see u as chea, desperate and disgusting ... #no offense.

lertee: What a silly thing you did. You both need to grow up please.

So true! They really really need to grow up. Putting up dp's and pictures how so juvenile. It shows they are not yet matured enough to handle a relationship plus the guy has selfishness issues.

Whooo!

Nice write-up!

So, when are you shooting the movie?
I've got some nice locations in Lag for you to shoot this future Oscar-winning movie.

Next time, don't make decisions when you're mad.

You may regret them.

Is this a joke or what?

Abba father thank you for the kind of brain you gave me cos it seems foolishness is a quality many girls possess.

Like wtf?

Abeg abeg abeg abeg joor wat u did myt hv bin childish bt it goes a long way to show u wat ur rltship actually looks lyk. Do not tell him anything, he's a big narcissist who will only ridicule u in his mind if he finds out. Someone dat loves himself dat much?! He will tell himself dat u can't get anyone better and he will use it as an opportunity to f * * k up any chance he gets. If he brings it up, den u also bring up d fact dat he cheated. U're such a gud person n he should realise it. I don't even understand how u cn feel guilty, anyway don't mind me, I hv a serious problem with forgiveness. Honestly dis is bad advice bt I feel lyk u should get a back up plan because dis kin rltship ehn...it get k-leg. my point is do not tell him n since he cheated on u in d past, do not feel guilty consider it ur little payback after all u are innocent.

thtz relationship got meek future...


tell him, and take watever comes from it..

imho, yall should quit..

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castielo: bro.. technically, heaven helps those who cant help self and admit so. so whosever came up wit diz quote must av been one selfish S.O.B. forget bout her age, if u wanna say anytin meaningful to d young lady just do it.. 'Luv' makes even a 50 yr old behave like a toddler. @OP.. If i truly loved som1, i dnt think i'll constantly remind them of their past err.. yea, especially if she repented. ok, lets assume he does luv u and he does diz becoz he still feels angry and probably insecure..perhaps d pic he even uploaded didnt mean anytin to him too.. maybe u got him angry and he did dat or his friends placed a silly bet. bt wateva d case, wat u did was immatured. You shud av asked him respectfully, who d chic was to to him. Hw do u think it's gonna work when you've not told him the truth? ..ur guilt alone is enuf to destroy d relationship all over again.

Thanks for your comments everyone - whether positive or negative. @castielo, no I didn't ask him who the lady in the dp was. However, (he later told me after we'd broken up back then)that the lady was his late sister who died 2months earlier (I know about the death but never met her).

@lipsilicious, yes I will admit that I know that he's a narcissit. He is
totally inlove with himself but he's also not a bad person. h

.

lipsyliscious:
Abeg abeg abeg abeg joor wat u did myt hv bin childish bt it goes a long way to show u wat ur rltship actually looks lyk. Do not tell him anything, he's a big narcissist who will only ridicule u in his mind if he finds out. Someone dat loves himself dat much?! He will tell himself dat u can't get anyone better and he will use it as an opportunity to f * * k up any chance he gets. If he brings it up, den u also bring up d fact dat he cheated. U're such a gud person n he should realise it. I don't even understand how u cn feel guilty, anyway don't mind me, I hv a serious problem with forgiveness. Honestly dis is bad advice bt I feel lyk u should get a back up plan because dis kin rltship ehn...it get k-leg. my point is do not tell him n since he cheated on u in d past, do not feel guilty consider it ur little payback after all u are innocent.

you could have advice her to breakup with the current bf instead of your useless backup plan,typical naija lady sha,always a b!tch.