I don't want to generalize but some Nigerian gals are really ungrateful,I have experienced it and it was shocking, helping a fellow guy is better bcuz we guys know the worth of helping each other

dayokanu: There is an inherent entitlement mentality in Nigerian females thats not in other nationals

You go to dinner with a girl, Take transport, happen to be shopping at the same time etc its 100% certain she expects you to pay unlike elsewhere you go Dutch i.e split it. Even when both of you are not dating and earn the same money.

A girl sees a man as a cow to be milked

Its only a few that are eternally grateful

And they would even tell you to your face, "What have you done that no one hasnt done before?" They even did you a favour by accepting it.

You paid my BSc school fees? Ehn? nnamdi paid Adaobis till PhD and even bought her a car.

You got me a job in a MNC? So what? Chief Ajayi got Esther a job as a Senator

You helped me to America so what? Ahmed took Aisha to White House

That is the reason why don't expect anything in return,

We can't stop helping. But help and forget about it. God knows all.

Khalessi:
If the OP had said women cool....but he generalized his statement since he mentioned a particular country.

The OP deals with Nigerian women only, hence that statement. Don't blame him. I guess he doesn't know what other women abroad are like.

GoodFaith:
That is the reason why don't expect anything in return,

say what?! ..

bigheart2013:


Thanks and God bless you for addressing my questions. I want to keep helping but asked the questions to know how to avoid the pitfall of others. I have a little 26yrs old sister. After the death of our mom, being the last born and only girl, she became the queen of the family. I saw her through university in Nigeria. She's in Canada now doing her masters at almost $36,000 USD. Being the oldest son I sold one house, and going through 'hell' now to pay her tuition in Canada. I just don't want to ever think she will be ungrateful to me one day after this. I haven't even married because of carrying the burden of others. Maybe my expectations from them is high. I just don't want to regret all this one day. This is why I'm asking experienced people for guide. I got some points already. God bless you all.

Don't expect anything in return,
Help but don't extend yourself to over help
Sorry to let you know one of brother or sister will disappoint you
Hopefully, He/she is not dumb and silly to insult you
Please, it will happen

Ngokafor:


Ok sorry about,i admit i was out of line and rude...

Thanks! This is what matters - apologies when one errs. Once more you have done Nigeria proud. Most people would never apologize due to pride. I also apologize on my comments on you.. I am so proud of what you just did. Keep it up! Your dignity has fully been restored.

voltron:

say what?! ..

You help people because the lord has place you in a position to help
That is the reason why you don't expect anything in return,

you nor know anything...I have sworn not to do anything for a mere lady friend again in my life if its not my sister....i will give you 3 examples of somethings that happened to me in the past month...I moved to a new area and saw an old lady we used to know each other in Uni days...we got close due to same area and she jokingly asked me if i had a bb...I said i would get her one.i did and i had to txt her after 2 week why she could not say ordinary thank you,she said she has been busy and it is because i bought her a phone am txting and talking like that?I was going to watch football and the lady living downstairs said i should please get her fish and chisp that she loved the one i shared with her the other day?i came back with the fish and chips for her only to tell me that did i not monitor them when they were doing it and i asked why??she said they did not put lime..(this was at 11 pm).they are just ungrateful kinda and i have made my own decisions.

Bigheart2013
Please take control of yourself life
I am not sure of your age
If you over 30
Please get married , If you have found the right woman
If you wait tomorrow is not promising , You likely get aging
You have kids at old age your brother/sister might not help your kids

All i will say is making one less mouth a liability and fisher(wo)man is a good investment
Those abusing the man for helping his sister ... smh

She may be ungrateful true...

She may not...
Others have raised thier nephews and nieces as theirs


The main issue is that she will not be asking for fish

@bigheart... I feel at this point you have to internalise your charitable acts
Focus on your self, start saving again.. give yourself a target to get married maybe in 2 years time

Put ur monies in CDs that you cannot touch based on mandate... make that down payment on a home to restore the one you sold ... when u have built enuff... marry and focus on your kids...

Then give as u can try....no more

Heard of a case a man gave a lady a lift one good morning on his way to work.
On dropping the lady at a bustop where she could use to get to where she said she wanted to go, she open the door and started screaming!
"This man do e no want pay!!!"
"E do e no want pay"
Started drama in the park sote crowd come they gather...my man had to part with some money J̶̲̥̅̊u̶̲̥̅̊S̤̥̈̊τ̲̣̣̥ to have his sanity back and get to work!

Please guys ia have a similar story too and this is between me and mah male pal, thru him,i got a job at his firm and some days back i got payed my first salary. Now he is asking for a 10% paay as a way of showing gratitude. I refused bluntyl because we didnt even agree on such basis in d first place. Now his been puttin up attitudes. What do i do guys??

tomtyte02: Please guys ia have a similar story too and this is between me and mah male pal, thru him,i got a job at his firm and some days back i got payed my first salary. Now he is asking for a 10% paay as a way of showing gratitude. I refused bluntyl because we didnt even agree on such basis in d first place. Now his been puttin up attitudes. What do i do guys??

Don't give him 10%
tell him to kiss it fool

NATURALLY, A WOMAN CAN NEVER BE SATISFIED... ITS JUST THEIR NATURE. It is true, even elderly men confirmd it, the only thing that can satisfy them is grave.

@ OP.... ''Thank you'' is not a must, but it's courteous....


I don't think we should help, expecting to get ' thank you' back, but rather help for help sake or because it might get handy next time.....

Ungratefulness don't worry him, expecting a thank you after every help is more worrying......


Afterall, no one forced the dudes to help....

People often forget how wet they were when it was raining especially when their cloths get dry.

As for me, made up my mind long ago to render meaningful help only to guys and not females who see it as mandatory

tomtyte02: Please guys ia have a similar story too and this is between me and mah male pal, thru him,i got a job at his firm and some days back i got payed my first salary. Now he is asking for a 10% paay as a way of showing gratitude. I refused bluntyl because we didnt even agree on such basis in d first place. Now his been puttin up attitudes. What do i do guys??

Your friend is crazy.

10%? Is he God?

Stay away from him o. He is not a worthy friend.

tomtyte02: Please guys ia have a similar story too and this is between me and mah male pal, thru him,i got a job at his firm and some days back i got payed my first salary. Now he is asking for a 10% paay as a way of showing gratitude. I refused bluntyl because we didnt even agree on such basis in d first place. Now his been puttin up attitudes. What do i do guys??

but you sef you take style stingy sha. so this man actually got you a job. meaning without him you would have no pay, right ? and he is asking you for 10 percent. so what is the big deal ? if you are not comfortable giving him cash buy something with the ten percent like an iphone or something. you crazy mahfukaz i bet if your pastor asked you for 10 percent tithe to praise God for getting you that job you would be so happy to give it to him. chei. naija people sha

that 10 percent should be a one off on your first salary. not continuous payment

women love awuf..only 1 in thousands tend to be different

14 to 20

danbabe: I wonder what the average age range of people on this site is.

Deschil: 14 to 20

Sorry
10 to 65

Kanwulia: Because familiarity aka 'see finish' ALWAYS breeds contempt!
Ask dati una Jesus Christ wetin Judasky do am!
I nor dey near NAIJA WOMEN O!!!!
Sam-Sam!!!!
Tufiakwa!!!!

Kpor!
Kpor!
Kpor!

Ooooo dey 'Ouse?
Work done close o!
30-minute daily work-out in progress!

Gay alert.

obadiah777: but you sef you take style stingy sha. so this man actually got you a job. meaning without him you would have no pay, right ? and he is asking you for 10 percent. so what is the big deal ? if you are not comfortable giving him cash buy something with the ten percent like an iphone or something. you crazy mahfukaz i bet if your pastor asked you for 10 percent tithe to praise God for getting you that job you would be so happy to give it to him. chei. naija people sha

that 10 percent should be a one off on your first salary. not continuous payment

We all should learn to help people without expecting monetary return

obadiah777: but you sef you take style stingy sha. so this man actually got you a job. meaning without him you would have no pay, right ? and he is asking you for 10 percent. so what is the big deal ? if you are not comfortable giving him cash buy something with the ten percent like an iphone or something. you crazy mahfukaz i bet if your pastor asked you for 10 percent tithe to praise God for getting you that job you would be so happy to give it to him. chei. naija people sha

that 10 percent should be a one off on your first salary. not continuous payment

But the friend shouldn't be the one to ask na. The friend is an assshole

Arosa:

Another teacher in the house, what is wrong with that? Nigeria women is not correct.

hmmn. [s]Women of Nigerian(Nigerians' women)[/s] women of Nigeria(nigeria's women). Yorubas ladies yoruba ladies . lagos girls lagosian girls. Compare 'em Sir

tomtyte02: Please guys ia have a similar story too and this is between me and mah male pal, thru him,i got a job at his firm and some days back i got payed my first salary. Now he is asking for a 10% paay as a way of showing gratitude. I refused bluntyl because we didnt even agree on such basis in d first place. Now his been puttin up attitudes. What do i do guys??

The guy is quite considerate and lenient sef. Some people would ask for FULL first-three-months' salaries as a 'token' reward for helping you get a job. Ask the millions of unemployed graduates in Nigeria whether they would not gladly relinquish full six months' salaries if that is what it takes to get a good, secure job.

I'd suggest you give him the mere 10% tithe sharp sharp, otherwise you would be an ingrate.

appelmoieddy:
U ok?

am not Sir

Twice

Area-Fada:
.

Without telling me first? Do you know what it means to accept a child as yours in Europe? Child support for good 18 years!!

Sure enough she was later repatriated, most likely because the found out she told a web of lies all along.
At that point, no reason to tell lies or try to implicate me.

People here have one night-stands and get pregnant, never seeing the baby father again. In fact it's better for her to say she didn't know the father.

Although the charges accrued from child support is a court mandated payment,there are people who avoid it pending on the country in particular, and like yours depending on consensual agreement btw you and her if she fears repatriation actually, the records could hv been falsified. I don't in anyway support her callous action but I only inferred that she acted on the spur of the moment

lirusehn: am not Sir

Lol

GoodFaith:

We all should learn to help people without expecting monetary return

[b]in the ideal world ? yes. this is not an ideal world. nobody owes you nothing in this world. if someone is generous enough to help you out, you have to have the decency to reach back and touch that person. anyone who you help and they just move on without reaching back to thank you and reciprocate in any kind of way ? that is a wicked person. this guy is a wicked person because he had to wait for his friend to demand 10 percent. if someone got me a job, i would not even wait for the person to demand anything from me. it would be in my heart to buy the person a generous gift with part of my first cheque to show that i really appreciated what he did for me. anyone who does not do that ? thats a wicked cold person. life is all about favors. you do me a favor ? i owe you one. nothing in life is free. unless of course the person is a family member then thats different. now of course if the person helped is in no position to help back then a thank you is enough. but if i got you a lucrative contract, would you not reach out to me ? its how life is. lets quit pretending that people do stuff for free. [/b]

and all these men sayng women are wicked because they are not grateful. i am not buying all that. men are equally wicked. those men who did favors for women, i can bet you all those women were attractive and the guy was hoping to get some a-ss at the end of the day. but they got played so they are mad. will those same men try to help a 400 pound woman with only one teeth left ? nope they wouldnt. so the men are just as demonic as the women. dont cry here cuz you got played by a woman who you tried to buy her affection