andromida:

Is this why she should marry? because there are single women who are desperate? and she is in her mid thirties.smh

You see lady,you do not have to get that post wrong huh?
All I meant there is that if the guy would be a bad guy or somehing similar,he has enough younger single ladies to choose from rather than sit and yearn for an older lady who's got kid and widowed. So she is lucky indeed cos he loved her.

LadySophie: [/b]

As a matter of fact, he is a budding lecturer in one of the higher institutions, so he truly has enough ladies to choose. Besides his other obsessions, I have flare for academics but am not in the educational sector, so he believe with a wife like me by his side, his career will soar!

One word babe,you do not have feelings for this guy,case closed.
How to get rid of him? Try this it may work.
I used to be in love with an older lady n a mom of two,I loved her beyond words even as I write this I still have a soft feeling for her.
She felt I was a pest and got involved with an older man of about 40plus,he has more experience and a full father figure,she told this man about me that I was harassing her that I even attempted raping her sometime,this man got be traced and beaten blueblack,she heard of it and all she could send was a dry "get well soon". I felt misrable and bitter then I knew it that she had no feelings for me I was only too blind to see that. I left her and accepted my fate,she went ahead with the man. Bad enough for her he treated her worse than any man woulda treated her,he left her broken I don't need to go into details. She came back looking for me cos she needed a companion but I couldn't take her back I already had someone else I was seeing.
Moral of the story: give that guy a break and cut all communication with him,threaten him if possible. He will leave you by fire by force once you give him strict attitude. Unless you are enjoying his company and this will leave you selfish.