See people advising the man to smile and talk and show more love to the woman

Assuming the roles were reversed and the woman was the one slapped Is this the same thing we would be saying on Nairaland family section

kensto: I was having an argument with my wife over an issue which she was at fault. I angryly left the house to cool temper. I later came back and asked for my food ,she ignored me. I went to the kitchen to take my food, opened the pot to take the food. She came from where she was staying walked to the kitchen and closed the pot and then slapped me saying "how dare you touch my pot". I just stood there for some minutes wondering what i would do to her. Please tell me what to do.

I have some questions to ask pls don't find it offensive:

Question Number 1: Between you and your wife, who brings in more money to the house- I mean, who earns higher

Question Number 2: Is your wife older than you? If yes, by how many years

Question Number 3: Have you ever noticed an awkward attitude from her- like someone possessed of a strange spirit

At this point, you really need to find the solution to why she slapped you in order to solve it and possibly avoid it from repeating in future than planning on what to do....let the past be past and find a lasting solution.

And I am suspecting that your wife brings in the money, or you do bring it little or nothing....hence, the deterioration in respect for you...reason nature frowns on a woman being the breadwinner of the family in African setting. If I am right, please pray, work hard to earn more income to regain your respect and authority as the man of the house.

Don't let anyone deceive you- no Nigerian woman would respect and cook for her husband when she is the one bringing it bulk of the money to take care of the home, that's the absolute truth

Let this one slid for peace, just work on stopping it in future, and don't go fighting with her pls

bukatyne:

What if the man losses his job? Has an accident? Earns less than the wife?

The worth or headship of a man is not tied to his paycheck or providing power

A man and woman is to provide for their home. The concept that a man is the 'sole breadwinner' is old school.

Now, women get the same/better jobs than their hubbies. If they now decide to ruin their homes because of that, goodluck to them.

AWESOME POST!!!

100 percent
Say no to abuse!

bukatyne:



I seem NOT to understand these posts.

Does who win the 'bread' matter in this case?

Would you like if your hubby slaps you because he is the one winning the bread?

I also do not understand this village mentality of 'my pot', 'my kitchen' etc. where does the hubby own?

@OP:

If you are certain that this is all that happened and you have not slapped or done similar before, please WARN her sternly never to try such with you again and mean it. Also tell her that there is nothing like 'her pot' or whatever. You have become one and relate as such Also do internal check to see where you went wrong (I am NOT saying that there is a justification for the slap) and try to adjust.

Physical violence should be discouraged in marriage from either party and curbed.

If she tries it again, report her to her parents and tell them to train her on how to discuss with you like a rational human being because I am sure she doesn't slap people who offend her outside

This is not a 'assert yourself as the man' advice, I will give the same if it were a woman.

Eyop: SO because she's the one in charge of the kitchen,she must slap you? That's not an excuse except you don't have a say in that house meaning may be she's the one that married you and not the reverse. No matter how big or giant a woman is,she has no rite to slap the husband except she's the one feeding you and also taking full responsibility of the house.

Husband or wife; none should hit someone they claim to love. Violence has no place in a healthy adult relationship.

My advice quit

There is no doubt in my mind i will SLAP the sh*it out of her back! After all i'm a strong believer in equality of sexes!

bukatyne:

What if the man losses his job? Has an accident? Earns less than the wife?

The worth or headship of a man is not tied to his paycheck or providing power

A man and woman is to provide for their home. The concept that a man is the 'sole breadwinner' is old school.

Now, women get the same/better jobs than their hubbies. If they now decide to ruin their homes because of that, goodluck to them.

don't get me wrong, I'm not against assisting. Its ok for the two of dem to share d responsibility. Wat I'm against is the fact that the woman should carry all the responsibility on her head and d man doing nuffin,wat use is d man for its just d same as a widowed woman. Even if the man got fired or had an accident,he won't go broke immediately he can start a business or invest his savings and use d profit to sustain d family or assist d wife

DailyNews:

Don't let anyone deceive you- no Nigerian woman would respect and cook for her husband when she is the one bringing it bulk of the money to take care of the home, that's the absolute truth

fallacy of hasty generalization
Have you been to every and one nigerian homes?
I'm speaking from personal experience
What are you speaking from?
The 'general mindset'?

My Pot
Lollllz Lollllz.



Reminds me of some people on Nairaland, who will always say
My Thread

No be you get thread o...its not yours but Nairaland's.

Xsolutions:
You had better shut the f**k up...its women like you that make it hard for justice and equality to prevail...if as a woman you don't want to get hit by a man,then never hit anyman especially if he's your husband...jeez are you for real??

Another caveman lacking understanding, proudly displays his stupidity.

Mtchewwww

For those saying the story might not be true,I've seen worse happen over lesser issues..a friend was hungry and he didn't have money so his gf went to buy food for him with her money..he was yet to start eating when his girlfriend told him sometinz that hurt him so he said he wasn't gona eat anymore.

Then he asked that I give him food so I gave him some noodles to prepare and while he was at it,his girlfriend went to meet him in d kitchen and asked why he wasted her money..before you could say bingo,she slapped him thrice..I was shocked..this was a guy that when he starts fighting here,he beats 4 guys together at a time..I had to take him away lest he kills the babe and he confided in me that wasn't the first time it was happening..

Some ladies are just naturally violent and quick to physically assault their bf or husband

I take that back.

nna_bu_ike: Women are like dogs. They need to be taught manners and that is precisely how I would have approached the situation. Tie her to the bed and deliver 24 lashes using the buckle of the belt!!

Amaaskia: Another caveman lacking understanding, proudly displays his stupidity.

Mtchewwww

Question Are men and women equal? Yes or No

So what do you suggest should be done in this case

Note whatever you advise should be applicable when the reverse is done i.e Husband slaps wife

Amaaskia:



Another caveman lacking understanding, proudly displays his stupidity.

Mtchewwww

You are an irritating useless girl,not a woman...you are a fool...cavewoman

hmm..if I fold her finish ehn..well..I just pray it never happens. I really do.

lorretta u: Someone says I should ask you what breed is your mother

My dear, God bless you for this comment. The man is a beast!

Alfoasegh: Na today? My wife don slap me tire!!! So long as she no blind me, no wahala.

olodo nawa 4u

dayokanu: See people advising the man to smile and talk and show more love to the woman

Assuming the roles were reversed and the woman was the one slapped Is this the same thing we would be saying on Nairaland family section

thank you. Help me ask dem well ooo... D reverse is d case in their own case

bukatyne:



I seem NOT to understand these posts.

Does who win the 'bread' matter in this case?

Would you like if your hubby slaps you because he is the one winning the bread?

I also do not understand this village mentality of 'my pot', 'my kitchen' etc. where does the hubby own?

@OP:

If you are certain that this is all that happened and you have not slapped or done similar before, please WARN her sternly never to try such with you again and mean it. Also tell her that there is nothing like 'her pot' or whatever. You have become one and relate as such Also do internal check to see where you went wrong (I am NOT saying that there is a justification for the slap) and try to adjust.

Physical violence should be discouraged in marriage from either party and curbed.

If she tries it again, report her to her parents and tell them to train her on how to discuss with you like a rational human being because I am sure she doesn't slap people who offend her outside

This is not a 'assert yourself as the man' advice, I will give the same if it were a woman.

My dear, in as much as I respect your opinion on this...let's face the truth here- most women tend to lack respect for their husband or boyfriend when they are the breadwinner of the home or when they earn more than their spouse or boyfriend, reason you hardly or rarely see rich single ladies dating guys they are richer than- very rare, and most times, they don't behave well towards the guy, still give him some snobbish attitudes....

The trend continues.....women hardly date down....they want someone higher than them- age-wise, financial-wise, height-wise, intelligence-wise, in fact, everything wise...and if a guy mistakenly marry a lady richer and maybe more educated than him, he is in for trouble and mess....

Naturally in Nigeria, women expect more from a man- they expect their husbands to foot at least 80% of the house bills if not 90%, and when their husband isn't meeting up to that expectation, with time, the woman's respect for him will start witnessing a dwindle.

Men don't care if their wife comes from a wretched family....what they care most from their wife is respect, humility, submission and emotional support. But women care more about their hubby's financial support, emotional support and ability to provide and fend for the family, and it is a natural trait.

That's why men don't misbehave or mistreat/maltreat their wife when they are the ones earning higher or providing everything. But its always different when the woman is earning higher or is the breadwinner.

Maybe it may change in the future...but I would advice any young man wishing to marry in Nigeria to please strive and pray to have a good means of income, and also save for the rainy day cos most women don't wanna know that you were once comfortable....most care about the present and current situation cos their memories are mostly short lived.

So OP should try and figure out the root cause of his wife's action to avoid it from reoccurring and not just dwell on retaliating.

Madcow: The Man in you is almost dead.... Give her 4 slaps then kiss her... I can assure you that she will never raise her hand to slap you again...

ppl like u are wife beaters

Amaaskia:


My dear, God bless you for this comment. The man is a beast!

YOU ARE NOTHING!!!

If someone slaps me there is a very good chance that I will slap back.


Why are people asking who the bread winner is? Why the heck should it matter. So if she makes more money she should be able to slap him around? I guess if he gets fired from work she should make him kneel down and face the wall. That's just nonsense. Gosh. I honestly feel like you should not let it go lightly and she certainly has to come back very remorseful. She is crazy to think she could hit someone. She's a tyrant and you cannot reward bad behavior with "love". Rubbish.

Xsolutions: You are an irritating useless girl,not a woman...you are a fool...cavewoman

Hahaha aww. Did I hurt you?

Is your heart bleeding?

Aww. So sorry! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I'm simply stating reality:

You are a "foolish" man.

Amaaskia:


Hahaha aww. Did I hurt you?

Is your heart bleeding?

Aww. So sorry! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I'm simply stating reality:

You are a "foolish" man.

Hehe...hurt?? I REPEAT...YOU ARE NOTHING!!!

lorretta u: fallacy of hasty generalization
Have you been to every and one nigerian homes?
I'm speaking from personal experience
What are you speaking from?
The 'general mindset'?

Yes dear, you are right that I committed fallacy of hasty generalization...but I want you to note that:

every research, every statistics, and every scientific breakthrough was based on sampling, which is also a form of generalization.

When they say: Brazilian girls are slutty, you don't expect every Brazilian girl to be....but at least, it is a known fact based on large sample analysis.

So don't ever expect any figure or research to be 100% accurate because they are all based on generalization.

Or haven't you heard that: LOVE IS A FALLACY, but say that to some people and watch them murder you in cold blood because they strongly believe in love.

In conclusion @Lorreta, in every rule, there is an exception, so strive to be that exception if at all you aren't one already

dayokanu: See people advising the man to smile and talk and show more love to the woman

Assuming the roles were reversed and the woman was the one slapped Is this the same thing we would be saying on Nairaland family section

madam aluta has already exposed the double standard. if the roles were reversed, 90% of the females would advise the wife to move out of the house cos the hubby is a beast, monster, coward, tout, uncultured, unruly, ungentlemanly and any other adjective you can add......

should this husband also move out of the house?

lorretta u: 100 percent
Say no to abuse!

Hi babe, how are you

You are pretty; saw your thread on Nairaland beauties

DailyNews: My dear, in as much as I respect your opinion on this...let's face the truth here- most women tend to lack respect for their husband or man when they are the breadwinner of the home or when they earn more than their spouse.

Naturally in Nigeria, women expect more from a man- they expect their husbands to foot at least 80% of the house bills if not 90%, and when their husband isn't meeting up to that expectation, with time, the woman's respect for him will start witnessing a dwindle.

Men don't care if their wife comes from a wretched family....what they care most from their wife is respect, humility, submission and emotional support. But women care more about their hubby's financial support, emotional support and ability to provide and fend for the family, and it is a natural trait.

That's why men don't misbehave or mistreat/maltreat their wife when they are the ones earning higher or providing everything. But its always different when the woman is earning higher or is the breadwinner.

Maybe it may change in the future...but I would advice any young man wishing to marry in Nigeria to please strive and pray to have a good means of income, and also save for the rainy day cos most women don't wanna know that you were once comfortable....most care about the present and current situation cos their memories are mostly short lived.

So OP should try and figure out the root cause of his wife's action to avoid it from reoccurring and not just dwell on retaliating.

dailynews my man i like the way you take your time to write.

I know you're kidding

deebrain: I will calm down and pretend to walk away. You dont make noise or get to an argument with a woman. When she thinks im maintaining my cool and playing that fake nonsense that "hey she is a woman. Women are like that"...and she is not suspecting anything, i would level her with a good RKO. I wont need to do it twice.
Then i will come towards her broken unconscious body like a heel wrestler and ask her "who is smiling now uh?".

Amaaskia:


Hahaha aww. Did I hurt you?

Is your heart bleeding?

Aww. So sorry! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I'm simply stating reality:

You are a "foolish" man.

Lmao. Damn! Ama u have mouth mehnnnn. Lucky u gats looks with that mouth eh

obadiah777: she slaps me ? i will look for a strong rope and tie her up and throw her into the cupboard and leave her there for 3 days without food and water. thats enough time to think about what she did.

And you say American is babylon? You are Babylon!!! Gush

dayokanu: See people advising the man to smile and talk and show more love to the woman

Assuming the roles were reversed and the woman was the one slapped Is this the same thing we would be saying on Nairaland family section

You've seen it na, if it had been the man, many peeps would have asked her if she didn't see "the red flags" that the man is a violent man.. That is the hypocrisy I was talking about earlier..