lorretta u: Most women have been trained to believe their place is in the man's bed and and the kitchen alone.
And as normal human beings,they exercise territorialism in the little niche they have come to see as all they can achieve in their lives.
Trust me,if such women had opportunities to live out their hearts dreams and achieve their childhood goals,they'd be less fanatical about 'their' kitchens
They'll obtain fulfilment from their other endeavors.

lorretta u: Most women have been trained to believe their place is in the man's bed and and the kitchen alone.
And as normal human beings,they exercise territorialism in the little niche they have come to see as all they can achieve in their lives.
Trust me,if such women had opportunities to live out their hearts dreams and achieve their childhood goals,they'd be less fanatical about 'their' kitchens
They'll obtain fulfilment from their other endeavors.

IFELEKE:
Of course not,My advise is based on what the OP tendered.

Flygeriansteve:
See this LEFULEFU already assuming the man somehow must have done sth to deserve the slap. How does one apologise after being physically abused? This ya psychology tire me o.

nna_bu_ike:

It is wishful thinking to believe that your fantasy is the "ideal thing." I do not doubt at all that there are some families like what you describe, but I notice that in such families, there are no men in them. Sure, they may look like men, but it is an insult to real men to be referring to them as such.

As to my next life that you are referring to, it is my sons that will live that life, I teach them what it means to be men. I also teach them to deal mercilessly with any woman who ever disrespects them(or anyone for that matter) and I also teach them why it is important for them to do so.

I live the "ideal life". My sons will live the "ideal life", and it will resemble nothing like that situation comedy that you previously described.

carefreewannabe: Another thread that has turned into a gender battle and feminism debate
Nigeria is discussing what other countries stopped discussing 50 years ago

troy20:
such that even there husbands are also forbidden? But i have also experienced the "my pot" situation with a woman who had her own school?i believe thats a career

dad007: AHHHH,YOUR OWN DIFF FROM MY OWN OHHH....WHEN EVER MINE IS HIGH(ANGRY)SHE BEGINS TO CLEAN THE HOUSE,OR JUST GO TO BED AND LIE DOWN....UNTIL I GOES TO HER AND EHMMM....YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

DailyNews: Carefree, there is no gender battle here...we are only analysing some possible reasons y a Nigerian wife would have the gut to slap her husband; its not common in Nigeria.

And lastly, I for in stance, tried to use myself as an example to point out what some Nigerian guys want from a woman: respect, submission and being able to take care of the home, and not necessarily for her to bring in money or whatsoever financial.


And u know, in Africa, taking Nigeria as a case study, men are expected to be the financial provider while the woman organises it to make a good home. So when the case is reversed: a woman brings in more money and becomes the breadwinner, she is usually not submissive to her husband and most times don't respect her like she would if the case was otherwise.

So for now, it is safer for a man to be the breadwinner of the family than the woman to ensure his respect is in tact. That's all, no fight, no quarrels, so sit back and enjoy the cool debate and analysis

DailyNews: Yes dear, you are right that I committed fallacy of hasty generalization...but I want you to note that:

every research, every statistics, and every scientific breakthrough was based on sampling, which is also a form of generalization.

When they say: Brazilian girls are slutty, you don't expect every Brazilian girl to be....but at least, it is a known fact based on large sample analysis.

So don't ever expect any figure or research to be 100% accurate because they are all based on generalization.

Or haven't you heard that: LOVE IS A FALLACY, but say that to some people and watch them murder you in cold blood because they strongly believe in love.

In conclusion @Lorreta, in every rule, there is an exception, so strive to be that exception if at all you aren't one already

DailyNews: My dear, desperate chase for career and money like most of women do now definitely mar a woman's chances of being homely, etc. Though there are few exceptions.

And I usually laugh when I read people talk about how white and western countries are enjoying their marriages when compared to African marriage.

See, if not that its unprofessional and forbidden for me to share my counselling sessions with foreigners here, I would have shared just 4 situations for u guys to learn from and stop hailing oyimbo marriage style cos they are in pains.

And some of them are beginning to realise that the old system of marriage which is what africans practise remains the best for any family to have peace and happiness.

Anyway, let me not sound too old-fashioned to avoid ruining the fun today women are having in their newfound career/money-chase

lorretta u: I don't live in oyinbo land so I'm talking based on what they do.
I'm talking based on experience
My mom is a career woman. We are happy.
And I'll marry a man who doesn't see the happiness in our home as based on how 'beneath' him I am.when you meet confident men,you'll understand that they don't use the supression tactic to 'put the woman in place'
She already knows where she belongs
Beside him . In his arms. Not beneath him.
It's not 'new fashioned'
It's the ideal thing.

lorretta u: Lmao

DailyNews: Yes dear, you are right that I committed fallacy of hasty generalization...but I want you to note that:

every research, every statistics, and every scientific breakthrough was based on sampling, which is also a form of generalization.

When they say: Brazilian girls are slutty, you don't expect every Brazilian girl to be....but at least, it is a known fact based on large sample analysis.

So don't ever expect any figure or research to be 100% accurate because they are all based on generalization.

Or haven't you heard that: LOVE IS A FALLACY, but say that to some people and watch them murder you in cold blood because they strongly believe in love.

In conclusion @Lorreta, in every rule, there is an exception, so strive to be that exception if at all you aren't one already

lalalefriday:



First to do no dey pain as they say.

Now OP listen to me. Physical abuse is a direct result of a lack of respect for the abused by the abuser.

Quite simply, your wife has zero respect for you.[color=#000099][/color]

And a relationship without mutual respect can NEVER work let alone a marriage.

Your marriage is already dead -What you need to figure out is if you want to show her pepper before you leave...or if you want to leave in an amicable and mature manner.

I personally would go for option A.



True talk. It is most abominable. But come to think of that, I hold any man responsible if the wife does not respect him. Usually in relationships there are always things to nip in the bud. Only Real men look out for such for instant surgery before it becomes cancer manifesting thus.

nna_bu_ike:

The necessity of occasionally drinking bitter medicine has nothing to do with ones approval. It is something that must be done for survival. So although violence may not be condoned, it is occasionally necessary.

And women **are** inferior to men.

troy20:
well i dont know what to make of your explaination but that slap has been long time coming for sure.i've violated the "my pot" rule in many a woman's kitchen-heck even mama-put but i never had much more than a mild reproach.

IFELEKE:
Re-read my post for clarity son.

lorretta u: Do I have a point to put across to you?
Yes and I just did

lorretta u:
Did I hope to change your perspective?
No and I'm not surprised.

lorretta u:
Do I intend to keep going back and forth with you on this issue?
Definitely not.

lorretta u:
Enjoy your chauvinistic life.
And the good news is that you'll find a woman who loves you like that
(That's if you haven't already)
Ciao ciao.

dayokanu:

So what is in the OP's statement that would make a man slapped deserve to go and apologize

If a woman reported the exact same scenario, What would be the difference in your advise?

Would you tell her to go apologize to the hsband who just slapped her and she should realize her husband is hot tempered

nutty_hnic:

We all know women are inferior to men......

Abbey2sam: Just ignore her until she come to her senses
Punish her emotionally but never hit her.....

Don't touch her food, though this might sound dumb but its not......



#Neverhitalady

Abbey2sam: Just ignore her until she come to her senses
Punish her emotionally but never hit her.....

Don't touch her food, though this might sound dumb but its not......



#Neverhitalady

victorv12: I will punch her like a bag of sack. It's a taboo in my culture for a woman to slap a man. If ma lady try that ish with me, that will be her last...she will forever remember me as the baddest man ever liveth! If she end up telling her friends eventually, her friends will start comparing me to men like Adolf Hitler, Mussolini, Abacha, Idi-Amin and some other great notorious generals.

lorretta u: you and who knows that?

lorretta u: I don't live in oyinbo land so I'm not talking based on what they do.
I'm talking based on experience
My mom is a career woman. We are happy.
And I'll marry a man who doesn't see the happiness in our home as based on how 'beneath' him I am.when you meet confident men,you'll understand that they don't use the supression tactic to 'put the woman in place'
She already knows where she belongs
Beside him . In his arms. Not beneath him.
It's not 'new fashioned'
It's the ideal thing.