DailyNews: This is beyond the architecture of this thread...pls don't get personal....and I will suggest Ogugua pretends she didn't saw this post...you can go to that thread they started for people to ask them questions and ask her any question with all due respect, respect their privacies.

How is it beyond the 'architecture' of the thread?

She gave her personal qualifications for a potential suitor - and suggested that less good looking men should pursue less good looking women.

Considering that she is one half of a well known couple in this environment, how is it personal to ask if her boyfriend meets these lofty ideals?

ogugua88:

Lol how stupid is the analogy? Do you know how many Nigerian guys tell a woman they love her on day one?

The analogy is stu.pid because even though a person may 'love' another at first sight, it is illogical to EXPECT that the feelings are reciprocated straight away regardless of looks/money/etc.

As a new immigrant to the West with little to my name, I dated middle class Caucasian girls: Law student, Economics student.

Later on a couple of professionals from very decent background.

What mattered was me as a person, nothing else.

If going buy money, I should have been celibate for a few years.

At this point, living along such a divide is not what we need in Naija.

Area-Fada:
It seems this OP is trying to promote a class society where only the rich and beautiful/handsome mingle and others should please have no aspiration about social mobility.

Across Nigeria every weekend, a lot more women from dirt poor families marry into rich families.

If men should go by this advise a lot of women forming madam today and abusing their housemaid would be no where.

Very far from it Area Fada....I was only trying to help guys understand the need for them to evaluate themselves before making move to woo a certain girl to prevent humiliation that most guys do receive in the name of wooing a girl.

I am a male advocate...I understand the harsh economy of the country that has limited the dreams of so many guys....I do understand, but it would be better for an average guy to go for his class of girl becos it will give him peace of mind and a chance to focus than to be running around trying to meet up the hot girl's insatiable demands that he can't meet...

One day, guys that read this thread will remember my words and say a silent THANK YOU in their hearts....I am for good...I myself aren't Aliko Dangote to be agitating for us to have a high-class society devoid of the average....I can't wish that cos I am a devoted Christian

ogugua88:

A man can say anything he wishes about me. He is in no way compelled to date me. Do know, however, that if there is a guy I'm interested in, I will package myself to the best of my ability.

I will dress nicely. I will style my hair differently. I will wear my fancier glasses (lol). I will wear different shoes. My personality will be on full display. I'll engage him in conversation. This is all in hopes of me catching his eye and him wanting to know me more. He'll learn that I'm still a student. He'll learn that I have a small job and that the money I get from that job isn't enough for survival but for paying bills. He'll also learn that my condition isn't permanent and I aspire to make a career for myself and have the ability to sustain myself financially. I'll give him every reason to want me despite my flaws or shortcomings. If he says no, then it was never meant to be because I know I put my best "me" out there.

I just hope u don't dream for a man like peter okoye, or wizkid, because yoiy are not there type, jst as you said we shld go for ladies of our class, u shld also nt wish for a. Wealthy man.....no be only women likw good tin

dBard: Taking one sentence in isolation is tantamount t pentecostal preachers using a verse t preach a sermon
Hope u took note of d paragraphs above n esp below..t understand d 'something' d o.p was alluding to.
Secondly, getting into a relationship is not a trade off where one gives in exchange f wat u r getting..it is more of a partnership..a partnership that is uplifting tboth of dem.
Looking at it any other way seems wrong..

That one sentence is part of the bigger picture. I'm wondering why people only got finances from his post when I saw way more.

A relationship has elements of both a partnership and a trade off. One partner has his strengths and flaws as does the other. Yes, they work together but there are also some things one partner can't do and vice versa. Isn't it why some African men like for a wife who can cook? Because they can't cook. Isn't it why some African women look for wealthy men? Because they have no desires to sustain themselves money wise. It doesn't have to be in terms of material or items either. Often times we hear of some guys being bull-headed, and women being the voice of reason. It's often those differences that make people compliment one another.

@ op U have totally relegated love to the background and tried to portray relationships in black and white. I make bold to say its more complicated than that. Love being one of the strongest emotions ever is a phenomenon that sometimes transcends human comprehension, when it hits u, you may just discover that Riches, beauty/handsomeness, social status and all the vain things you highlighted in your post may not count. That is the precarious nature of life and human existence. In all, don't get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing...

monex: i was about to disagree with you until I saw the bolded. My take is every poor man has a right to desire a hot KimK as every poor or ugly girl has the right to desire a Psquare or a Dangote. To each his own. The issue is when you castigate the other party for not accepting your advances.

"She is materialistic" - Yes, that is what she considers as value to her. You wey want hot babe, aren't you vain?
"He thinks he can get any girl because of his money" - dont you think you can get anything cos of ur stunning looks too

but seriously, there are guys who consider kimK to have little value. the hot body is not all there is.
also there are babes who dont consider a guy's wealth as "condierable value" he brings to the party.

Of course. I agree.

Thank God i nor dey find hot girl na discent girl i dey find. . . Discency and beauty are two diff things oh

DailyNews: Very far from it Area Fada....I was only trying to help guys understand the need for them to evaluate themselves before making move to woo a certain girl to prevent humiliation that most guys do receive in the name of wooing a girl.

I am a male advocate...I understand the harsh economy of the country that has limited the dreams of so many guys....I do understand, but it would be better for an average guy to go for his class of girl becos it will give him peace of mind and a chance to focus than to be running around trying to meet up the hot girl's insatiable demands that he can't meet...

One day, guys that read this thread will remember my words and say a silent THANK YOU in their hearts....I am for good...I myself aren't Aliko Dangote to be agitating for us to have a high-class society devoid of the average....I can't wish that cos I am a devoted Christian

.

Fine. I have never stopped to think of class or whatever before approaching a girl.

Guess what, over the years I dated more "facially pretty" girls than my better looking 2.1 metres tall friends. As a guy, you can date any non-materialistic, not self-obsessed girl irrespective of looks or class.

Why should a guy limit himself because of what somebody else might or might not think? I always believed that I prefer to be humiliated by an amazon of a babe than an ugly duckling.
And from my experience in civilised societies, pretty girls are usually polite because they are used to dealing with male attention.

They will humbly say thanks for your compliments. They have a civilised way of telling you no, if not interested.

InvertedHammer: I guess you don't understand the meaning of con-men and fraudsters.

They psyche you...feel what you are all about...then package themselves well.

Bingo! You got yourself Mr.Perfect until reality rears its ugly head.

I have never met anyone who is too intelligent to be conned.

That's part of life. It's all a risk.

pc guru: Am always curious how people spend time thinking about chasing women and all, not my thing, reading and working besides chasing women around is known to be a big liability. Also I think its a BS chasing a woman of your caliber then again i don,t a lady to understand anyway. Why should I limit myself, life is a risk and you go for what you want, and if you don,t get it you know you played the game. But I agree bout becoming successful but not because of a girl or to be with someone of a higher caliber, that's just mundane and self-deprecating. Terrible advice oguga and daily news.

you couldn't have said it better. Bravo!!!

GustavoFring: The analogy is stu.pid because even though a person may 'love' another at first sight, it is illogical to EXPECT that the feelings are reciprocated straight away regardless of looks/money/etc.

Yet it doesn't stop some guys. Someone took me out for dinner back in August or so. After we ate, he started monologuing. Mind you, this is someone who's been in diaspora less than five months. He was talking about how deeply he felt for me and was envisioning me as his wife. Yes, he expected me to feel the same way. It may sound odd or illogical, but that's how some people are and that's how some people reason.

D op said d poor should marry d poor and rich should marry d rich, lemme tell u, if u r poor and u marry a poor lady, all her family's responsibilty falls on u and u alone, den poverty continues. Wen I was an undergrad, my very 1st babe was super rich dat I tot she was an aristo and I tell u I wasn't richer dan 10k in a moon (in most cases less) and d relationship survived. M getting married soon and her family's better dan mine and nobody gives a heck, not even her siblings. Yes, cut ur coat according 2 ur cloth but d@ doesn't mean u shouldn't dream, doesn't mean u should limit urself, etc. Some rich gurls don't give a hook wether u r broke, just b clean, presentable. Oh why all diz engrish.........just b their TYPE. A gurl once picked m from Natako in LKJ 2 Zuba in abj wen I was in 300L(I was hitch-hiking) and she knew 2 b standing in d sun looking 4 a cheap taxi 2 abj den I must b POOR but we xchanged numbers, etc and dated and she didn't give a poo bout m status. Upgrade ur status, its neccesary but dat aint all d@ matters in a relationship.

ogugua88:

Yet it doesn't stop some guys. Someone took me out for dinner back in August or so. After we ate, he started monologuing. Mind you, this is someone who's been in diaspora less than five months. He was talking about how deeply he felt for me and was envisioning me as his wife. Yes, he expected me to feel the same way. It may sound odd or illogical, but that's how some people are and that's how some people reason.

No doubt.

But consider DailyOld's statement again:

DailyNews:

How would u feel as a guy, u dressed up so fine, wore your best outfit, best wrist, and may put on some designers perf...and while strolling down the road feeling fly, one ugly, unkempt girl from nowhere just ran up to you and said: hello brother, I just saw you and fell in love with you, can u pls give me a chance to be your girlfriend, your love, and your everything

He is suggesting that it is perfectly logical for the guy in question to respond favourably to the relationship request if the girl was good looking, completely disregarding the fact that they had never met before.

Stop crapping dude


what i read from what youve written initially and even with your exchange with the High Priest is not about carriage and comportment.
Ogugua now making it about comportment and all is really backtracking from her initial post after seeing she may have made an epic fail endorsing your initial post

Why shd a chic date a homeless guy

Even poor folks know to clean up before they woo a lady

You were focussed on the money... that is transient
Money that a medical problem can wipe off in an instant



Your post was: IF YOU DONT HAVE THE MONEY FOR THE BABE, GET THE MONEY TO GET THE BABE
i GET MY MONEY FOR ME; NOT FOR SOME BABE

DailyNews: BEAUTIFUL!!! Ogugua you are intelligent! This is exactly what I was trying to advice guys- be what u would like to get and stop trying to cut corners.

How would u feel as a guy, u dressed up so fine, wore your best outfit, best wrist, and may put on some designers perf...and while strolling down the road feeling fly, one ugly, unkempt girl from nowhere just ran up to you and said: hello brother, I just saw you and fell in love with you, can u pls give me a chance to be your girlfriend, your love, and your everything

Guys, pls let's try and be realistic...life is unfair I know....but let's try....all hope isn't lost okay?

[quote author=Nonso23]I don't have the the power (mobile) to type elaborate arguments now but DailyNews; read your initial posts and your recent posts. I believe it is obvious (even to you) [b]that you have -though subtlely but steadily- shifted ground.[/[/b]quote]

GBAM..now from money he is talking of comportment

jp philips:


I was almost lost reading his post, how can you wish to get rich just to impress women or probably improve on the status of the kinda women you roll with? i don't get.
what about the luxuries of life? what about being in a position of respect and regard, what about the praise singing (from people you help and their prayers), sycophants.
I don't need to change my girlfriend because i made money, but i sure enjoy the attention money brings.
[b]lol, I just like it when men who are older than you call you "chairman" [/b]and shake you with both hands, now, that feels like heaven to me.

What of Area Fada, Baba ke, Alaye, Go on soun, Nothing Spoil,

Beauty is a depreciating asset in women. Whereas wealth is likely to increase in the case of a man. What does the woman have to offer a handsome, talk, dark, hard working man with superior education and intelligence beside her so called "hotness"? Everywhere women are being spoken off its likely argument of her social class is based on "hotness". I really what to know something of appreciable value they are bringing to the relationship.

GustavoFring: He is suggesting that it is perfectly logical for the guy in question to respond favourably to the relationship request if the girl was good looking, completely disregarding the fact that they had never met before.

If the girl was good looking, some guys would say yes. I was watching Chris Judd, J Lo's ex-husband, on one of Oprah's shows the other day. He was at a Lady Gaga concert and saw some hot chick. He was leaving and said someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was the girl. The first thing that came out of her mouth was "are you single?"

They're now married and had their first child a few months ago.

[quote author=dBard]I ve never really been a fan of d 'cut ur coat according to ur size' rule in dating..cos in d first place how do u determine wat ur size is in matters of the heart?
Will her looks, dressing, class etc determine how good a person she'll be. Besides, none of these tins we use as temps are of our doing but we were just priviledged to b born wit such looks, that class of family etc.
I do not believe these should be used as a criteria to determine who u date because stories do change; d poor gets weathy, an ugly guy before becomes attractive, class changes..these are too variable quantities to b used as criterias.
It is imperative everyone develops themselves so as to be able t bring something t d table..n they should be judged based on that.
Are u going to leave a good, intelligent man that can make u happy but is a carpenter cos that is his chosen vocation just cos of class n all ??
Ur happiness in life is far more important for such..


Ur happiness in life is

GBAM..

ogugua88:

If the girl was good looking, some guys would say yes. I was watching Chris Judd, J Lo's ex-husband, on one of Oprah's shows the other day. He was at a Lady Gaga concert and saw some hot chick. He left and said she tapped him on the shoulder. The first thing that came out of her mouth was "are you single?"

They're now married and had their first child a few months ago.

Exception not the norm.

Most people would step back abit if random girl moved to them in the streets.

Even with men's randiness and raunchiness, it is completly illogical to suggest that the man would reciprocate right off the bat without knowing the girl.

dude what kinda topic is this?? your basic argument is good but your premise is wrong. i strongly believe in guys working hard to improve themselves but not because some silly girl wants a blackberry phone............ a man must have goals and must constantly be working to achieve those and that probably would make him attractive to a girl who's got goals too... i don't want a beautiful but dumb chic by my side and thats the reason (well part of it) that i strive to measure up.

[quote author=DailyNews]I know this may come as a surprise to so many regular users of nairaland who think and believe that DailyNews is always against women and supporting guys, anyway, that's my own cross to bear, but I just couldn't withhold the truth after observing this ugly trend amongst guys of nowadays.

for some time now, I have observed something ugly in today's world, especially in Nigeria, and I think Nigerian guys aren't saint by the day, how? Read on...

You are a guy with less than 100thousand naira savings in your bank account, and maybe u are also a student, an unemployed or under-employed graduate or even a school drop out, you are not handsome, not intelligent and not in any viable business or life train...but you want a girl like Kim Kardashian or let me say, Juliet Ibrahim to date u and also love u with all her heart, how and why?

In life, u must have something relative to offer to the other party if u want to be valued and treated like a king.

Most guys of nowadays don't cut their coats according to their length...they want a very pretty girl that's also fashionable and they don't even have anything to offer to her besides unnecessary sms and phone calls, and highest, sex.

Come on guys, be realistic, nothing good in life comes free, and if u get one free pls be watchful and tread cautiously.

If u want a hot girl, then try and be a hotter guy, simple!

You saw Peter of Psquare's wife, Omolola right? You want a girl pretty like her? Then work hard like Psquare and stop daydreaming.

Why should a very pretty girl agree to date and love u if I may ask?

Even if she accepts u out of pity or whatever u guys call it, believe me u are in for it if u don't up your game ASAP!
For instance, an ugly poor guy is permitted to dream of having a very pretty hot girlfriend but a beautiful girl is not permitted to wish or publicly declare her love or desire for rich guys, uh uh...that's really unfair guys!

We want girls to look very pretty, sexy and trendy, and we also want to date them for free and still expect them to keep looking cute and being faithful to us becos we are King Solomon without a palace

We guys don't want girls to cheat but we are cheats ourselves and not planning to change...jeez! Life is really unfair to women, I can feel your pains, sighs.

I just felt like telling u guys this for once pls...if u want a very beautiful and hot girl like the ones u see on billboards or on TVs or wherever, then work hard to make yourself a desired man and stop complaining of heartbreak and turn downs pls...cos it won't change anything, so get busy and stop wasting your limited time online chasing girls and daydreaming in the hope of getting a hot girl for free online.

And to the girls...this isn't a backup pls...if u want a rich guy yourself, then try and make yourself worthy for one...cos so many hotter girls are out there to snatch him away from u, that's the reality of our today world!

Goodnight all[/quote odoriferous write up,gargantua gaga. Rubbish.

M K O abiola met his first wife(sebiatu) when he was nobody and the woman in question came from a very rich family, she was one of those people dat made him what he was when he was alive. So money as nothing to do with love, love is a natural thing

Daily news But why didnt your mum marry dangote and why didnt ur dad marry first lady. Love should start from scratch or both parties must have money then it would be vice versa

Trash ...@ op

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.....