Emmm,gud day y'all

I get one kind excuse lyk dt,I neva chop,packing 4 2mr,we'll b goin to d village,updates myt cme late 2day

MORE EXCUSES
Travelling to d village means my phne wl b down most of the tym,ntwk wahala too(I no fit climb tree)and most tyms I'l b busy attendn to visitors,but I'l always make out tym to cm update

I do hp u guys understnd my plight,Oga rock go dey help keep d thread lively

love y'all





This 1 na letter without letterhead or even address

Madam as una dey drag dt popcorn,if e fall,na rat go hlp una chop am,4 here,na oga rattus be d cleaner o

D.Ella.luv:
Emmm,gud day y'all

I get one kind excuse lyk dt,I neva chop,packing 4 2mr,we'll b goin to d village,updates myt cme late 2day

MORE EXCUSES
Travelling to d village means my phne wl b down most of the tym,ntwk wahala too(I no fit climb tree)and most tyms I'l b busy attendn to visitors,but I'l always make out tym to cm update

I do hp u guys understnd my plight,Oga rock go dey help keep d thread lively

love y'all





This 1 na letter without letterhead or even address

Madam as una dey drag dt popcorn,if e fall,na rat go hlp una chop am,4 here,na oga rattus be d cleaner o

christmas in d air!

OK. Safe journey. Don't forget us oh

Bring something for us ooh............journey mercies............

Stef na so o

I go brng nkwobi 4 una,I no go everly 4gt una,very very gr8fl 4 d understndn and best wishes

A saying goes that,'nwata rie ife o na amuru anya oraru ura'(if a child eats that which keeps him awake,he falls asleep).From the 1st day I set my eyes on the big headed boy,I kept thinking of strategies that could help in feeling the head,it even gave me sleepless nights.

Therefore,when we were picked as couples,I knew my days of thinking and worrying were over,I was finally gona touch the gigantic head.

Before the play could kick off,we chose the names we were to be addressed with in the play.I chose Ify,Vitalis-Emeka,and many others.Aidan was the main director as he wasn't participating in the play,everyother person was also a director.

My big headed husband encountered a problem choosing his name.The names he chose were all rejected as they were already taken.As a dutiful wife,I saved his neck by giving him the beautiful name,'Edward'.

Giving the name,I was expecting all hell to let loose,but surprisingly, nothing happened.My brothers who knew the motive behind the name stared at me like they were gona tell.I pleaded with my eyes,though I knew they wouldn't forget it just like that.

As the play was in progress,I touched the head at intervals.It was meaty,and heavy just by mere touch,which meant the boy had a big burden sitting on his shoulders.The play came to an abrupt end when one of us refused to obey his 'mother',they started fighting.A man who was passing dispersed us,both the fighters and the spectators.

On getting home everywhere was quiet as usual,we took our lunch,and I slept with my dust-coated feet.

The next day,my granny told us that we should learn how to cook,not even on the stove,but with firewood.Aidan,who knew that the responsibility would fall on him started sulking.My granny who had brought out her true colours after we settled in the village,took us to the open kitchen.Not minding Aidan's gloomy face,went ahead to show how the firewood was lit.Aidan who was expecting to be pampered or relieved of the duty,not knowing that our time of grace and pampering were over,was surprised.

Instead of using the stove,my granny said firewood did the cooking better.Maybe she wanted us to pass through the village and the village to pass through us too.Aidan who never crossed the kitchen at home was to be the chief chef,and we were the assistants.For starters,we prepared half cooked yam,using almost the whole kerosene just to keep the fire burning.

After cooking our wonderful breakfast,we all denied ever being hungry,waiting for Mama to leave for her shop so that we could go food hunting inside the house.

At a point the war raging inside my tummy became unbearable,my face started getting clouded.Aidan,on seeing my face knew what was next.

'You better hold back those tears,because if Mama stays back because you are crying and we manage to get something to eat,a drop won't get to you'

Losing breakfast completely meant I was gona die before the sun sets.To avoid 'had I known',I lay down on the floor killing innocent ants and changing their route.After the wait,Mama left,immediately the gate was locked,we set the kettle on fire in preparation for tea.

Fowls from the neighbouring compound that enters our house whenever the gate was opened came over to the kitchen.Try as I may,I didnt succeed in chasing them away.They continued moving about the kitchen area expectantly.

Aidan brought the beverages to the kitchen.Shared the bread among us.While I was still sulking that my bread was the smallest,a hen dived the bread and off she went.I was too surprised to cry,my avengeful spirit took over immediately.Another fowl paid for the sin of the other,just as it was trying to follow the footsteps of the former fowl,I grabbed the kettle with its hotness and all and threw it at the fowl.The fowl became naked instanta,all the feathers at the back region shrinked,it ran like a possessed fowl out of the compound.

The ever soft Vitalis started crying,the water for tea was no more,the water that took several hours of fanning and pouring of kero to boil was no more.Aidan was confused,he didnt know whether to beat me or cry.

In anger,he pushed me and unfortunately I fell on the tin of milk knocking it over,spilling half the content.With the speed of light,the crying Vitalis rushed the milk,nobody wanted to be left out so we all licked it up.

The scramble for milk over,I remembered that I was pushed and started crying,Aidan and Vita begged me all they could but I refused,saying that I would report them.

How foolish I was to think of ever reporting them

Wonderful update............hilarious and interesting............welldone Ella

Chai!

See wetin Beryl do innocent fowl...I go 4give u because u choose Ify as ur name

Na when Mama come back u go smell wiiin

Lwkmd!! Truely funky funny

Stef,d fowl isnt innocent na,it ws caught in d act of 'attempted stealing'

tnx a lot Dammy

Mimi I see u

Can't stop Laffing... Boss, your writing style inspires me alot... Loving it...

I remain Loyal Ma...

KingzPen: Can't stop Laffing... Boss, your writing style inspires me alot... Loving it...

I remain Loyal Ma...

na so we go dey here,look who's talking,U shud jst strt makn money wt motivational tlks cos u r so gud at motivating ppl

Nice writeup.

Lol.

Now am finally here, say helo to the man of the year. Ehen to all my dearies wey endorse this story, i dash una five gbosa.

Since my partner dey travel na me dey incharge now. I have found my writing spirit again, make i begin sammer una updates jare.

Next update to my two main Ladies-Ella and stefikal.

Typing......

The rock5555: Now am finally here, say helo to the man of the year. Ehen to all my dearies wey endorse this story, i dash una five gbosa.

Since my partner dey travel na me dey incharge now. I have found my writing spirit again, make i begin sammer una updates jare.

Next update to my two main Ladies-Ella and stefikal.

Typing......

Guy start kia kia, no time

---

I was held high while my legs dangled helplessy in the air. My buttons almost pulled off, the driver did not bother seperating us, everyone wanted to see me get a good beating since the teachers were afraid of touching me, except the want to loose their jobs.

"Leave him Alone" A tiny voice said from behind my tormentor.

It was like slow motion, everyone turned to look at the intruder that dared interupted the serious masarrce that was about taking place.

"Janet what is your problem" my tormentor asked the girl with the tiny voice, it suddenly dawned on me that it was Janet my newly acquired friend the previous day.

I streched to see her, her uniform was sparkling clean but she would have made the female act in Terry the rapman Girl's are not smiling video. But i wondered how she could dare that big boy fearlessly. It made me look stupid.

"And if i dont leave him what would you do?" The big boy dared her.

"Then i would report you to Mummy" she said cheerfully.

Just like magic, the big boy dropped me like a sack of pounded yam and bent his head shamefully before walking to his seat.

I heaved a sign of relief and winked at Janet, she sat down next to me, i eyed her brother who just looked at me muderously but he was powerless, his antidote had been found.

"How come your brother is afraid of your mother?" i asked Janet.

"You see, am my mum's favourite so she told me to report any thing that David does in school to her, she always deal with him if he does something wrong" Janet informed me. I smiked knowing that i had leaverage over him anytime i wanted.

Musa, wale and Emeka looked at me with their mouthsn open as i dropped down from the school bus with Janet.

"Emma, wheres your car?" Emeka asked.

"I felt like taking the school bus today" I replied cheerfully, if only they knew that i was worn a plate face cap that morning i would have been made a laughing stock.

We went inside together while i watched David stylishly, he was trying to come near us but he found it hard to so i notified Janet to go attend to him.

She smiled and went there to his side, he seem to begging her so i walked over to be which made him shut up immediatly.

"I must tell mummy" Janet said.

"Abeg na, oya i go give you N10" He pleaded.

"I dont want it" She replied. I saw the remorseful look on David's face so i intervened and pleaded on His behalf until Janet agreed. We all went to class together. Atleast i had won an enemy to my side.

I was becoming too close to Janet that even my friends began calling us Husband and wife, well if only i knew that girls were that cool i would have made them my friends since.

At home i got one additional enemy on arrival.

When i got home i learnt that dad had travelled out of the country but that was not my major problem.

The news that brought me grief most was that Grand ma was going to stay with us for a week, i knew that trouble was on the way and i would be thrown down from my high standards to lower ground.

Time to face my biggest obstacle had reached had reached.....

.....

lekinz:

SMH..............

Bro if u follow my matter u go due b4 ur tym oo

philtrum:

Guy start kia kia, no time

Ok bro i don update, make i go carol night, i dey come back..

I talk am say dt girl no be Beryl...
Grandma don land...na dese grandmas dey add flavour to d soup ooooo...

The Rock carry go, we tanda gidigba right behind u and Ella

The rock and d.ella..............i remove my cap for una u people are 2 much.............but na update i dey wait for ooooooo

The rock5555:

Bro if u follow my matter u go due b4 ur tym oo



Ok bro i don update, make i go carol night, i dey come back..

Ha!!!.....I too dey play with yhew bah?.......Picks up my gun angrily nd points it to his d**k.....ehn uhm...

See face....E don dey cry

lekinz:

Ha!!!.....I too dey play with yhew bah?.......Picks up my gun angrily nd points it to his d**k.....ehn uhm...

See face....E don dey cry

Slaps him and runs away

typing y'all. I dey carol night but make i manage type something abeg. Am already missing my partner

---

"Mum did i hear you say grandma is coming to spend throughout next week with us?" I asked for the untempt time to be sure.

"Just leave me alone, are you not tired of asking the same question over again, leave me abeg" Mum said angrily which made flee before she would tell me to go do my homework which i hated.

I walked to the kitchen where Itoro was plucking some leaves for the evening meal, i went to the pot of meat and took one out, Itoro gave me that mudrous stare.

"If madam catch you again eh" She warned.

"Na you go enjoy na" I replied and walked out before she would begin her stupid tales again. I went to play Super mario on my playstation. After ten minutes, a car drove in, i knew it was grand mum so i stayed put, i knew that house of hell had began.

After about ten minutes again i heard footsteps coming up to my room so i quickly switched off the T.V and pause the game then i jumped to where my books are and began veiwing the pages before the door flew open.

"Good after.. Ehm evening Grand ma" I greeted in fear because the unapproving face she used to stare at me was frightening.

"No its good morning" She mocked and came in.

" what are you doing?" She inquired while looking round my room like an insect.

"Ma am doing my home work" I replied.

"Uhm homework while your mother and the housegirl are in the kitchen, is that what they have been teaching you" She screamed with her chilled voice which made me spring up fearfully.

"Ma but its my home work time and the house girl is there she usually cooks" I explained.

"Before i close my eyes, i want to see you in the kitchen" Grand ma said.

Without allowing her to complete her words, i flee like a man chased by the gods to the kitchen, my mum and Itoro almost jumped out of their skins in fear.

"Whats haunting you?" Mum screamed.

"Ehm ahh, grand ma... eh... said.. em" I starmered.

"Yes i said he should come and help in the cooking since he held the pathway closed so that other children would not pass through" Grand ma completed my words for me.

"But Mamie he is just a little boy" Mum cried out.

"Little boy uh, you people have spoilt him, look how he is all grown up and lazy, he should start learning how to work because i was not born lazy neither where you" Grand ma said angrily.

Mum was powerless to say anything since nobody was there to support her, grand ma just came when Dad was out of the country, it was a bad coincidence.

"Alright Junior go and fetch water" Mum said and handed me a little plastic bucket.

"But mum the taps are working" I complained.

"Get out of here this child before i smack you, who taught you to talk back to your parents" Grand ma queried me so i dived out and ran with full nitro speed to the tap.

Suddenly an idea banged into my small brain, since grand ma wanted to fustrate me, it was not a crime to pay her back in her own coins.

She stood by the balcony watching me with an angry scrowl on her face.

I carried the water and placed on my head then i walked about five steps before pretending to slip and fall, the whole water wet me but it was my little price to pay.

"Hey my child" Grand ma scream and came to check on me, i held my breath which made her frightened the more and screamed which drew Itoro, my mum and the gate man out.

"You have killed my son" Mum shouted and held Grand ma blouse, i was almost tempted to laugh at grand ma's predicament but i managed to lay still.

"Lets rush him to the hospital" Mum said and ran inside to grab her car key.

Grand ma raised me up and placed me on her shoulder while crying and begging God to give her a second chance, she promised never to hurt me again.

When she raised me up to take me to mum's car, i winked at Itoro who winked back happily, we knew eachother very well. Atleast grandma had learnt her lesson.

When we got to the car, i sneezed and open my eyes, tears of joy filled mum and grand ma's eyes, they knelt down to thank God for sparing my life.

I smiled happily,i had won the grandma war, 1-0 i thought that was the last, but i was wrong...

---

make i reached house, carol just finished. Love y'all, wish una best of this yultide seasons...

The rock5555:

Slaps him and runs away

typing y'all. I dey carol night but make i manage type something abeg. Am already missing my partner

welldone rock............missing her too............

Mehn,d way I feel nw is so so inexplicable,I fl so loved

2mr I must try,must,to update,abi na 2day,wen Day break

I so much love y'all

wat of Ade,whr im go

Lwkmd...

Dis Junior ehn na character...

Ella, ke kwanu?

Ella et Rock u guys won't kill me with laughter.. Hahahahaha funky n nice. We nid more o bt y do dat lekinz love gun too much? Cos na plank i go use damage im head if he toast my ella o. Gud mrning y'all

.

Stef ife oyi na-eme mmadu ebe a bu 30,small london,I jst dress lyk eskimo

Mimi u no dey fear gun,nekwa gi nekwa onwu

Oga mi,Rock,I laf sotey I fall 4rm bed