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I Need Your Advice, Please by paix(m): 1:08pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
My ex is married with children, they live in the north and I am in the south. We've NOT seen since she got married. The husband's business is facing some challenges financially. Is it right I place her on a monthly allowance to take care of the children till their condition improves? I am doing this from my heart. Matured answers only please. |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by Nobody: 1:19pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Bro i see nothing wrong with what you wana do so long you don't have an alterior motives. Another thing you need to consider is what will the husband think if he get to know that you are sending his wife cash monthly. Just think twice bro. You can assist her with cash but not to be sending her cash every month seeing to the fact that she is married. Marriage involves the man, woman and God so if the husband get to suspect or know that another man is busy sending his wife money monthly, he might conclude that his wife is having an external marital affair which in turn might make her marriage soar. Think twice... Just an advice! |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by Leyqute(m): 1:26pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Before doing anything, put yourself in your ex's husband's shoes. How would you feel if your wife's ex starts sending your wife money to take care of your kids? You might begin to wonder if the kids are yours even. My thots? "Teach a man how to fish and he won't ever ask you for fishes. Ever." |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by paix(m): 1:47pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Leyqute: Before doing anything, put yourself in your ex's husband's shoes. How would you feel if your wife's ex starts sending your wife money to take care of your kids? You might begin to wonder if the kids are yours even.Thanks bro, so I should set her up in business instead, wouldn't that also cause problems? |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by demelza: 1:51pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Why dont you go meet the husband and table your plans? 1 Like |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by paix(m): 1:51pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Yomii: Bro i see nothing wrong with what you wana do so long you don't have an alterior motives. Another thing you need to consider is what will the husband think if he get to know that you are sending his wife cash monthly. Just think twice bro. You can assist her with cash but not to be sending her cash every month seeing to the fact that she is married. Marriage involves the man, woman and God so if the husband get to suspect or know that another man is busy sending his wife money monthly, he might conclude that his wife is having an external marital affair which in turn might make her marriage soar.Thanks, no ulterior motives whatsoever!! |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by Leyqute(m): 1:52pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
paix: Thanks bro, so should I set her up in business instead, wouldn't that also cause problems?Thats a good thing but I'd rather you conc. on her husband, not her. Since he is the bread winner. Help her family. In so doing you are helping her too. #jx my tots tho 1 Like |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by Leyqute(m): 1:53pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
demelza: Why dont you go meet the husband and table your plans?GBAM! Risky. Buh life's a risk, innit? |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by paix(m): 1:55pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
demelza: Why dont you go meet the husband and table your plans?We're far apart, location wise. How do I present the assistance to him? |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by paix(m): 2:00pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Leyqute:How do I table the issue to him? Who would I say I am to the family? |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by demelza: 2:04pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
paix: We're far apart, location wise. How do I present the assistance to him?Get his phone number and intimate him of your plans. |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by paix(m): 2:04pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Leyqute:Na wa o! |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by Nobody: 2:06pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Don't give her any money without her husband's consent. You haven't seen her since she got married, but you two obviously did not stop communicating. Do you still love her or you just want to play Mr. Good Samaritan? Anyhoo, make sure you consult with the hubby first. 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by crackhaus: 2:14pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
What a stu.pid question this is...were you dropped as a baby And you're asking for mature advice when you seem not to have a single drop of liquid sense in you. You want to put another man's wife on monthly allowance, a woman to whom you're of no relation...like is this what you need advice on, huh Okay tell me this please...in your highly generous and affectionate mind, what are the possible outcomes and effects of doing this? I hope you've thought long and hard about how the negatives totally out-weigh the positives in this situation...well by all that's good & right, I really wish you've given it serious thought. You're welcome! 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by paix(m): 2:30pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
crackhaus: What a stu.pid question this is...were you dropped as a baby And you're asking for mature advice when you seem not to have a single drop of liquid sense in you.Sorry sir, I meant no harm. I am really ready to drop the idea if the negative outweighs the positive. |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by paix(m): 2:34pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Yield: Don't give her any money without her husband's consent. You haven't seen her since she got married, but you two obviously did not stop communicating. Do you still love her or you just want to play Mr. Good Samaritan? Anyhoo, make sure you consult with the hubby first.Nothing between us now, just for old time's sake. God knows! |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by paix(m): 2:36pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
demelza: Get his phone number and intimate him of your plans.I'll give that a try, thanks. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by Danhumprey: 2:44pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Leyqute: Before doing anything, put yourself in your ex's husband's shoes. How would you feel if your wife's ex starts sending your wife money to take care of your kids? You might begin to wonder if the kids are yours even.I concur with you. @OP,it's as simple as this poster say. |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by mspee(f): 2:52pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Hmmm, you are a nice man. The world needs more men like you. But this your idea is such a big risk. Do you think her hubby will agree/understand? And not suspect that you and his wife have something going on? Well, just meet him first and be veryyyy careful (you just might get a punch ). 1 Like |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by ejifranks(m): 2:55pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
paix: My ex is married with children, they live in the north and I am in the south. We've NOT seen since she got married. The husband's business is facing some challenges financially. Is it right I place her on a monthly allowance to take care of the chilggren till their condition improves? I am doing this from my heart. Matured answers only please. You really have a good heart op... But i hope there are no strings attached with this wonderful kind gesture you are about to offer...secondly you need to involve her husband in the whole thing, He should know where the help is coming from and that it has no negative effects to his family.... if He accepts it fine.....Going through the wife alone would make it suspicious[/b]does the husband know you before as in are you a family friend In other news . Enjoy new GO and DIE music!! jam of life https://www.nairaland.com/1541612/new-music-go-die-tne http:///ubig3el2jbb4 Sweet music |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by crackhaus: 2:56pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
paix: SorryOoh good. Well then, I'll be honest with you & let you know that the only positive thing that can come out of this will be her undying gratitude and appreciation for your generosity, unless of course you value your feeling of accomplishment over the sanctity of her marriage... Like someone said, you can reach out to her husband...but I can tell you that may not go down too well either, because he might just wonder how you even got to know about his financial woes in the first place...remember you're not a family friend, just an ex of his wife (which in itself is an ego problem to most men). 1 Like |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by Nobody: 3:03pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Well dont go to her husband and dont send moneyy to her. They are both wrong,... not worng so to speak but going to her husband can destroy the marriage seeing that the man is already bitter because of his challenges. Also, giving a mans wife is wrong. Send the money into the hubby or wifes account and text him or his wife that the money is from a good samaritan and they should not return it. Use an anonymous acct and phone. If its really from a good heart you are doing this then you dont need to let him or her know that its you. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by ayili: 3:04pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
crackhaus: |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by Dollarjunkie: 3:24pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
@OP bro, you should not mind the guy castigating you. Since he is so matured, were he able to proffer a solution to your stated plan NO! My thoughts, human being differs and can view your kind gesture in different ways. Some will be happy even knowing its his wife ex that gave her the money, while some will be enraged with anger even while it is his wife's cousin that offered the help. My verdict: Ask your ex to tell her hussy that a friend wants to help her with some money for them start up a biz with. She can tell him she knew you before they got married and she didn't date you. If the husband says she should collect, then let God bless them through you. |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by paix(m): 3:25pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
crackhaus:I'll just leave them to their fate. |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by paix(m): 3:28pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Dollarjunkie: @OP bro, you should not mind the guy castigating you. Since he is so matured, were he able to proffer a solution to your stated plan NO!Thanks, God bless you. |
Re: I Need Your Advice, Please by crackhaus: 7:16pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
Dollarjunkie: @OP bro, you should not mind the guy castigating you. Since he is so matured, were he able to proffer a solution to your stated plan NO!First off, what I did isn't castigating...it's tough love from me to a fellow guy, and someone just had to say the hard truth. Now your own solution is that his ex should lie to her husband by saying she never dated him, now you see how you're already complicating the whole matter. I think the OP understood quite frankly what my whole post was about, I'm surprised you didn't figure it out but only saw the castigating part...dude you funny! |
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