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Stats: 2,522,535 members, 5,769,306 topics. Date: Tuesday, 04 August 2020 at 12:42 PM
|My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 2:20pm On Dec 08, 2013|
i'll be writing a story on this page soon,
keep your fingers crossed,
i'll be right back.
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|Re: My Husband......... by segunjowo(m): 2:33pm On Dec 08, 2013|
this headline... coming from a lady. hmmm.. I wanna know what happened to ur husband.. or what you expect from your husband to be?
1 Like 1 Share
|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 3:02pm On Dec 08, 2013|
segunjowo: this headline... coming from a lady. hmmm.. I wanna know what happened to ur husband.. or what you expect from your husband to be?well,do not be in a hurry,because u'll find out soon....thanks
|Re: My Husband......... by Emmyk(m): 3:18pm On Dec 08, 2013|
*enters thread, rushes to first row to find the best spot*. Yoo waaaa
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|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 3:28pm On Dec 08, 2013|
Emmyk: *enters thread, rushes to first row to find the best spot*. Yoo waaaaplease,make yourself comfortable....
2 Likes 1 Share
|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 3:34pm On Dec 08, 2013|
All rights reserved,
no part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form either written or photocopy without prior written approval of the author..
|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 3:44pm On Dec 08, 2013|
This story is dedicated to Samuel Thomas.........
|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 5:08pm On Dec 08, 2013|
The weather these days could be deceiving,who would have known that the day was far spent.
It still looked cool and the sun was not hot either,Hannah had slept off on couch,and this was one thing her mother disliked greatly,Her mum would have chastise her-Janet what if i was bringing home,a visitor,its wrong to sleep on the couch,so on and so forth-her mother was just too neat,they lived in a beautiful bungalow in Ikeja,in Lagos,their house was a 4bedroom flat,each room had a built in closet,the house was tiled,the house had three sitting room,one for entertaining visitor,the other one was for the family,their father used the third sitting room for his study.
She had laid on the couch to stretch her tired legs and pass time,by watching her favourite programme-Entertainment Splash-,anchored by the very famous,beautiful and ever talented TV personality,Labi Layori.The programme ended about thirty minutes ago,that must have been the time she dozed off,she was putting on a sleeveless ash gown,that accentuated her curves,she was a sight to behold...she checked the wall clock,it was 4:30pm,her boyfriend would call her any moment from now.
Jane met her boyfriend Jacob a year ago, at a cafe,she had gone in to check her mails and see,if the admission list for Unilorin was out,her younger sister Hannah wrote their Post utme a month ago,Jane was having problem,loading the page,when a man walked up to her,the man had come with a friend and had probably seen her come in,well,who wouldn't notice her,she had long,straight legs,that cold drive any sane man crazy,she was tall,she was dark in complexion,she has a round face,with big white eyeballs,a cat eye at that,her eye brows were finely shaped,her was small and straight,she had small,curved but soft lips,her head stood graciously on her neck,she has straight shoulders,she was so beautiful even at twenty one,she had two big and pointed bumps on her chest,her bossom was round,they looked soft and firm too,a narrow waist,wide hips and attractive buttocks,she was a sight to behold.God must have taken extra time moulding this beautiful human,she had on a green top,it was fitted,and a short plait skirt,she had light make up on her face,her hair was long and packed with a green ribbon........Even a blind man will smell her beauty 5miles away.
Jacob had noticed that she was having problem connecting with whatever it was,she was doing on the system and decided to help her,although on a careful note,Jacob's real intention was to get to know the beautiful lady few feets away from him,Jacobs handsome had made him a widely sought after bachelor,at twenty five,he was already a young millionaire running his father's multinational company.
He walked up to her,his eyes on the lady before him,he bent slightly towards the computer and asked,
''Are you having any problem with the system'' he was still looking at her.
Jane lifted her eyes to meet his,she nodded her head and returned her eyes to the system,Jacob moved closer to check what the problem was,meanwhile Janes head was spinning,the face looked familiar but she couldn't place it,after 2minutes of typing on the keyboard,he touched the screen and pointed to the address box,a letter was missing,Jane looked closely and saw it too,she quickly typed the ommited letter,in a seconds the site opened.She mutterred a quick thank you,hoping that the stranger would leave so she could have a better look at the handsome creature of a man but he didn't move.
Jacob took a step back,he stretched his hands forward and spoke confidently,
''I am Jacob Smiths and you are......''he said looking at her pointedly.
Jane was startled,she looked around the cafe,each person was minding his system,she couldn't believe her ears,Jacob Smiths? Of The Smiths Corporation? No,it cant just be,the same Smiths,whose name rang bells in Lagos,Nigeria and beyond,all this rumbled in her heart within five seconds.She smiled shyly,adjusted her chair,
''I am Janet Odenuga''she replied curtly.
Jacob looked at his hands,still stretched forward and looked at her face,Jane had forgotten the hand,she stood and shaked him lightly,but his hands held hers firmly and lingered for an extra seconds...Jacob smiled,
''Nice meeting you beautiful one''indeed she was so beautiful and her eye,charming.
''I wouldn't like to disturb you,but if you do not mind,can i have your contact please?'' he said it so swiftly that she wanted to ask him to say it again,but she didnt.
''My mobile? She said gesturing to his phone.Wonder! Who wouldn't give her contact to Jacob Smiths,i doubt if such a lady do exist,she thought.
Jacob nodded and handed her his phone,she punched her digits on the phone and returned it,He couldn't think straight,he kept staring at the dark skinned beauty before him,he collected his phone and said ''Thanks'',he returned to his friend..........
Janet was shocked to say the least,
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|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 6:15pm On Dec 08, 2013|
She had seen him TV so many times,she had always admired the young millionaire entreprenuer,but had not even thought about seeing him anytime soon,she had lost all concentration,she quickly checked the site but the admission list was not yet out,she checked her mail,replied some messages and closed it,she stood up quietly and made for the door,most people were busy working on their system,but some still stared at the yound beauty heading out,just as she was about to close the glass door,she turned to look at Jacob Smiths again,she caught him starring too,he smiled and waved her bye.....
Jane smiled all the way home,she hurried through her chores for the day,and waited patiently for him to call,she couldn't sleep,she kept rolling from one side of the bed to the other,phone in hand.
It was some minutes past nine,when a call came in,strange number though,she picked it on the first ring.She placed the phone to her ears,the caller a male said hi,she replied ''hi''too,she was so happy he called her,only for the caller to start shouting and telling her that she'll regret it for not visiting him as earlier agreed,she was lost,she tried to calm him down,after two minutes of nonsense talk,the caller apologized,and said he dialled a wrong number,and ended the call...Jane was angry,it was not Jacob Smith.She switched off her phone and tried to sleep.
Three days gone,yet,no call from Jacob Smiths,a week,yet no call.she stoppped thinking about him,though it was hard for her. She was planning to go back to school,since the holidays were over,when Jacob called her,she didnt know it was him,not until he mentioned his name,she was taken aback,her heart did a flipflop at the mention of Jacob Smiths,he had asked to see her and she agreed without hesitation.My dear,show me the lady that would agree to go on a date with Jacob Smiths...Huh! Every womans dream,handsome,riiiiiiiich and intelligent.
On the D-day,she took her time to do a nice makeup,she wore a blue tank top and a white pant that was fitted to flatter her curves,a white flat shoe,a stud earring,she combed her jet black long hair and held it with a pin,she was not one for necklace,so she bother about it.She looked graciously beautiful.
He had asked to meet her at a popular but expensive restaurant,she was ten minutes late,because she didn't get a bike on time,On getting to the restaurant,she entered and did a five seconds search for her date,yes! She found him sitting at a corner,she had only been to this beautiful restaurant once,they did serve great and tasty meals.
As she walked cautiously to his table,she knew all eyes would be on her,she was used to that already,heads turned towards her,she passed by a couple,the man just kept staring at the beautiful figure that passed by him,thanks heaven,she was wearing a flat shoe,if not,the way different set of eyes were tearing off her blouse,she could have fallen.
By the time she got to his table,he was on his feet,he pulled out a chair for her,she thanked him and sat,she placed her hand on the table,and carefully withdrew it to her lap,she didn't even know where to keep them,she looked at her partner who was relaxed in his chair.
''Good afternoon beautiful one''he said cheerfully,beckoning to a waiter with his left hand,the waiter walked towards their table.
''Good afternoon.....sir....Mr Jacob ...Smiths'' she spoke shyly
Instantly there was a frown on his face.
''Please do me the favour of cutting off the sir and Mr,i prefer you call me Jacob'' Jane nodded her head.
The waiter was now at their table,they ordered for Fried rice garnished with salad and chicken,and a bottle of wine.The waiter left.
Someone looking from afar would think,they planned to be on white,well,it was just coincidental,
Jacob wore a white suit,brown shoes and a shade,he wasn't wearing a tie,he looked young,matured and devilishly handsome,chocolate in complexion,if there was anything like that anyway,he looked clean,fresh and he smelled money,his watch lay firmly on his wrist,he had broad shoulders and a wide chest,he was tall and had flesh on his body.he was always smiling.
Her mum had advised her to be careful with handsome and smiling men,he looked calm and there was something like excitement in his eyes,she couldn't say for sure,or maybe it was just a figment of her imagination,The waiter returned with their food and wine,he placed it carefully on the table and left.
Jacob shifted in his chair and spoke calmly,
''Once again,i am Jacob Smiths''he uncovered their food and poured wine into their glasses.''I'll like to know you better....he paused....i mean know you betterrrrr''stressing the better.He picked his fork and began to eat,he enjoys eating rice,fried rice in particular.
Jane spoke quietly but boldly,still holding her fork,she asked,
''What exactly do you want to know about me'' like a typical Nigerian lady would ask.
''Everything there is to know''he smiled and
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|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 6:38pm On Dec 08, 2013|
He smiled and drank from his glass.
''Fine,Janet Odenuga is my name,my friends call me Jane,am born into a family of four,i am the first daughter,my mum is a Fashion designer and my dad is a lawyer,i study at The Polytechnic Ibadan,am doing my Higher National Diploma II,am study Public Administration''she continued with her food.
''Thats a good one,public administration,hmmm,government,politics,organization,rights?
Jane nodded her head.
''Well,i work for The Smiths Corporation,born into a family of four,my parents,my elder sis, and i''
He went on and on,they ate and drank,they discussed various issues.Jacob received a call and asked to be excused,after extracting a promise from Janet to go out again soon,he thanked her for coming and that he did enjoy her company.
Janet was so happy,Jacob seemed a good man,and spoke like one too,he had this soft look in his eyes,she knew right from the start that she was attracted to him,she only hoped he was a gentle man to the end.
They went out often and often,and soon he asked her to a relationship with him,she agreed and that was it,their love story began,rocking a ship on the shores of peaceful water.Janet liked Jacob,hmmmm,she didn't see it coming,she knew not what was in store for her.
|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 6:44pm On Dec 08, 2013|
This story is opened to constructive criticism,opinions,objections,questions and suggestion......
Am waiting,for your comments...
|Re: My Husband......... by segunjowo(m): 6:52pm On Dec 08, 2013|
when money is involved, a lady will fall like a pack of card.
Janet falling for Jacob is not suprising.
ride on lady..
|Re: My Husband......... by adusco(m): 7:33pm On Dec 08, 2013|
Flakkydagirl: This story is opened to constructive criticism,opinions,objections,questions and suggestion......
resist from spending so much time in describing...you spent so much time describing how beautiful jane is in one of the paragraphs,it cld make d story boring(my opinion).
Good for a start.
Though u didnt tell me abt dis
|Re: My Husband......... by ESIXLOVE: 7:34pm On Dec 08, 2013|
** as usual walked in putting on agbada with his cutlass and sat down ** i greet o flakky
|Re: My Husband......... by KingzPen(m): 7:59pm On Dec 08, 2013|
Awesome Shot... We are on the same learning page...
You have it in you Flakky Dearie...
I would reserve my observations for now but am wooowed by what I just read...
Following till the End...
|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 8:08pm On Dec 08, 2013|
segunjowo: when money is involved, a lady will fall like a pack of card.Dont be quick to jugde us o
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|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 8:11pm On Dec 08, 2013|
KingzPen: Awesome Shot... We are on the same learning page...Thanks Boss
|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 8:13pm On Dec 08, 2013|
ESIXLOVE: ** as usual walked in putting on agbada with his cutlass and sat down ** i greet o flakkyWelcome sir
|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 8:20pm On Dec 08, 2013|
Oh,thank you so much,i'ld adjust to that soon,
I wanted to tell you,but i couldn't find you
|Re: My Husband......... by adusco(m): 9:34pm On Dec 08, 2013|
Oh,thank you so much,i'ld adjust to that soon,
I wanted to tell you,but i couldn't find you
|Re: My Husband......... by D9ty7(m): 10:43pm On Dec 08, 2013|
I actually saw u talk about starting a story on Kinzpen's thread but u didn't drop the link. I had to search for it on the literature section and luckily i found it on the first page.
1. Do less description as it makes the story boring.
2. Pay attention to details. Let's meet other family members of the two lovers. But wait o, aren't there any antagonist to their relationship? Just my thought tho!
3. The most important is don't kip us waiting. Oliver twist# mode activated.
|Re: My Husband......... by stefikal(f): 5:40am On Dec 09, 2013|
*books a seat* following
|Re: My Husband......... by kingphilip(m): 6:12am On Dec 09, 2013|
Following but dont keep me waiting
|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 7:15am On Dec 09, 2013|
D9ty7: I actually saw u talk about starting a story on Kinzpen's thread but u didn't drop the link. I had to search for it on the literature section and luckily i found it on the first page.
Thanks for coming...
Good observation,i'ld adhere,thnks.
|Re: My Husband......... by KingzPen(m): 8:04am On Dec 09, 2013|
My advice for today are:
1. When describing your characters, don't use physical description but make comparison, that would task your readers to figure out.
E.g He is tall. instead write, Shorter folks tilt theirs necks at an angle of elevation to gaze at him.
2. Create characters one after the other, not two or three at once. Make sure your readers have connected well with the very one you've created before moving to the next...
Am Also Guilty Of The Above So Am Talking To Myself Too...
We Learn Everyday...
Waiting For The Next...
|Re: My Husband......... by Youngjoeb(m): 8:39am On Dec 09, 2013|
my observations: you started with Hannah sleeping on the couch, then she became jane.
Take your xters one at a time.
I love the story though.
|Re: My Husband......... by Rikidony(m): 11:00am On Dec 09, 2013|
Strolls in nice Stuff here following
|Re: My Husband......... by adusco(m): 4:06pm On Dec 09, 2013|
|Re: My Husband......... by D9ty7(m): 4:12pm On Dec 09, 2013|
Flakkydagirl:who am i not to come and read your story?
|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 8:57am On Dec 10, 2013|
Janet schooled in Ibadan,while her parents and her younger sister lived in Lagos.Jacob also had his company headquarters in Lagos,they had a branch in Ibadan,he visited Jane constantly in school,took her out and showered gifts on her,he could say with all honesty that he was in love with his girlfriend.He got attracted to her from the first day,to hell with who ever said love at first sight doesn't exist.His only fear was his mother,because she had insisted he marry from their class-the rich circle-she had introduced many ladies to him,most of them were beautiful,but had nothing upstairs.
But Janet captivated him,she spoke fluent english,she was smart,intelligent and had a great body,so what else?
He had not been able to take the bold step to introduce Janet to his mother,even though the woman had insisted he brought home his girlfriendJacob was of mixed parentage,his father was from Jamaica,and his mother a yoruba woman.Even his elder sis Jackie had wanted to meet her.After so much persuassion,he agreed to bring her over,one of the weekends.
Mrs Funmilayo Smiths was Jacobs mother,she lived with her children in their family estate in Ikoyi,her husband John Smith lived in Jamaica.She was a successful woman,she was a professional Carterer,and she loved cooking.
Being Yoruba,she taught her children Yoruba language,though they rarely speak it in Public.Jacob had informed her that his girlfriend would be having Lunch with them in the afternoon.
It was quarter to one on the wall clock,she was reading her favourite magazine-Every Woman,in her room.There was a knock,it was their househelp Ruth.
''Come in''she answered
''Madam,small oga and one fine madam don come o'' Ruth said.
''Serve them juice,tell Jacob,i'll be with them soon''
Ruth was still standing by the door,
''What are you waiting for enhen''
''No o,i just wan ask you whether to serve them oga with glass''
''Okay,pour the juice on my hand and serve them,silly girl''she snapped.
''But Madam....i......come to....''
''Just shut your mouth,serve them juice in a glass,and get away!''she waved her away,and Ruth left.
She arranged her hair,looked in the mirror and went to the sitting room.
Jacob and Janet did not see her come in,she coughed to indicate her prescence.Jacob stood up and hugged his mother.
''Good afternoon mum''he drawled.
''Good afternoon dear,how are you''she said
''Am fine and you''she sat on the couch opposite theirs.
Jacob now sat beside Janet,''Mum,meet my girlfriend Janet''he smiled at his mother.
''Good afternoon ma''Janet said curtly.
''Is she the one''she spoke straight faced.
''yes,she is,isn't she beautiful''Jacob smiled.
Janet glanced at him,why was he always smiling,the man sure had a thing for smiling.
''She is,i can see'' looking awkwardly at Janet,she asked the question on Jacobs mind.
''Who are your parents''
Janet wasn't expecting that,
''Mr and Mrs Odenuga''Janet answered quickly.
''Odenuga?.... Odenuga?...Ode..nu...ga' she repeated,strange name,so who are they in this country,i mean what position do they hold'' she said standing up.
''Mum,you can't ask her such questions''
''Ok,i can't ask her that? Why? Or...do you want to answer for her? She eyed him,' Now,speak up,who are your roots in this country?' she almost shouted.
''My mum is a designer and my dad is a Lawyer''
''Good,is your dad a SAN''
''Lawyer Odenuga?never heard of that name.Son! What is this you have brought home,i am highly disappointed in you'' she hissed and walked out.
''Mum,that's not fair'',Jacob screamed after his mother.
''Look Janet,i'll talk to her'' he spoke calmly holding her hands.
''Jacob please take me out of this place''she was shaking and sobbed quietly.
''I will,please calm down''
Janet gazed vaguely out of the window,her emotions were throbbing,she had just been rejected by the mother of the man she loved.Although Jacob had called to apologize,she still felt sore,she wasn't expecting the blow she received.Jacob had met her mother so many times,Jane mother had insisted she brought home the man who constantly showered her daughter with gifts,she had been surprised and at the same time excited to meet Jacob and she gave her consent to the relationship,Janet sat on the chair by her dressing table,her mother had not returned from work.her door was open,her younger sis came in.
''Would you like me to keep you company big sis''she was already sitting on the bed.
''Even if i mind your company,you have already jumped the gun'' Janet said looking gloomy
''Just as i expected,since you came back this afternoon,you haven't spoken a simple sentence in this house''Hannah asked
''Huh....well...you know...''Jane stammered.
''Now you see,just cut it big sis,whats troubling you,when did you become a stammerer''
Janet stood up,''I dnt know what to say,i just dont know how to start it''
''Just say it anyhow,am all ears''
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|Re: My Husband......... by stefikal(f): 9:36am On Dec 10, 2013|
Dz rich women n deir wahala sef
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|Re: My Husband......... by Flakkydagirl: 9:42am On Dec 10, 2013|
''Fine,Jacob asked me to Lunch with his mother this afternoon,pause,hmmm and she said she was dissappointed in his choice of woman,that i was classless''she broke into tears.
Hannah stood up to calm her sister ''You and i know that you are not classless,so why are you hurting yourself over this''
''I felt humilated this noon''
''Its ok,dinner is ready,stop crying,its all a matter of time,i believe she'll come around soon.
Things had been rosy between Jacob and Janet except for the other day,when his mother had walked out on them in the sitting room,He still remembered the ugly conversation they had that night.
''Jacob wo,omo to mu wa losan,is not someone who you should be seen with'' His mum rarely spoke Yoruba this days.
''Thats a good question and i'll explain'' she sat upright on her bed.
''CLASS is an important thing to people in our circle,a man of authority and class like you,should not stoop low to date classless ladies,money and class go paripasu,you're a man of status,see yourself as one.And again,who are her parents in this country?what power can they yield?what influence do they have?what connections do they have? Son,tell me'' she sat down
''Janets parents are well to do,her father is a lawyer and her mum is a designer,as long as they can afford the food they eat,they are okay mum'' Jacob countered
''As far as i am concerned,omo Janet abi ki lo ti pe,ko si ni level e,and you can't date her,infact i want you to stop seeing her''
Jacob laughed''Well,thats impossible,i love her and she loves me too''
''You love her looks,she loves your money,simple! All she wants is your money,get that into your head boy''she snapped
''Janet is a beautiful lady,she's smart,and she loves me not my money''
''Senator Franks daughter is a good girl,i have introduced you to Sholange,Chief Mrs Kuti's daughter,and so many more that i cannot even remember,ki ni mo nba e fa gan,temi lo ma se,you can't date that silly and classless girl''
They had argued on and on,until Ruth came in to inform them that dinner was ready.They had a quiet dinner that night,Jackie kept looking at both,mother and son during dinner,wondering what was happening.
After dinner,Jacob had a cool shower and went straight to bed,though he couldn't sleep,it was some minutes past nine,when his phone rang,he checked the caller Id,it was Janet,he picked the call and placed the phone to his ears...he wasn't expecting what he heard.'
'Whaaattttttt?'' he screamed and jumped up
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