Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you
that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve
been a good man to you for 7
years & I have nothing to show for
it. These last 2 weeks have been
hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that
was the last straw. Last week, you
came home & didn’t even notice I
had a new haircut, had cooked
your favorite meal & even wore a
brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to
sleep after watching all of your
soaps. You don’t tell me you love
me anymore; you don’t want sex or
anything that connects us as
husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love
me anymore; whatever the case,
I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your
SISTER & I are moving away to
West Virginia together! Have a
great life!

Dear Ex-Husband, Nothing has made my day more
than receiving your letter. It’s true
you & I have been married for 7
years, although a good man is a
far cry from what you’ve been. I
watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant
whining & griping Too bad that
doesn’t work. I DID notice when
you got a hair cut last week, but
the 1st thing that came to mind
was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to
say anything if you can’t say
something nice, I didn’t comment.
And when you cooked my favorite
meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7
years ago. About those new silk
boxers: I turned away from you
because the $49.99 price tag was
still on them, & I prayed it was a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that
morning. After all of this, I still
loved you & felt we could work it
out.

So when I hit the lotto for 10
million dollars, I quit my job &
bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone..
Everything happens for a reason, I
guess. I hope you have the
fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you
wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell
& Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you
this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

Hilarious