Okay so my brother in law apparently lives wiv us in our one bedroom apartment, tho he gives us a day off, like he comes on monday leaves on tuesday comes on thursday and it bin like that for God knows how long. Its bin a year have bin married to my husband and we havent spent one whole week together without interferance. My husband is the kind of guy that never ever gets bothered about anything. He would do anything to make anybody happy. Even if it has to be at my expense. Sometimes i would av made breakfast for my husband and i, then BIL comes in, my husband will say ask him what he wants to eat, that means go and make another food for him. Kilode!, i mean he is his elder brother, he should av a girlfriend by now taking care of him, and if not he should eat from whereever he is coming from, they should pity me, i dont have a maid, i cant get one cos am leaving d country soon( for this reason am glad am going sef) so d whole chores is on me. I will take care of one yr old daughter, husband, and BIL. Lawd help me!!!!
Here is my problem. Fine, his younger brother's house is his comfort zone, everytime he comes around i feel bitter that my husband isnt thinking what am thinking that sometimes young couples need their space, and then he says make him breakfast, calls me in the afternoon, asking if his brother has had lunch, then dinner also must be in place. Everyweek of my life. If its once in a month or even once in 2 weeks. I can even still form not bothered, but four times in a week? In a one room,one bathroom and toilet flat. (Overbearing for me). My brother in law is actually a good guy, and cab be really nice to my husband. But i just feel he should understand and give us more space, i dont know if am sounding selfish now, but i believe dats another reason for my posting here....... He has another brother oo who lives in a 3 bedroom flat, but he will rather squeeze with us. Its affecting my relationship with my husband cos he feels bad wen he sees am not excited about cooking for his brother though he cares less about d way i feel about his brother bin so much in out space. I AM TAYAD!!!!!!!!!

aww....easy, relax, relax


Now tell me gently..


What is the problem?

I feel ur pain, just take tins easy

Well if it was your husband's younger bro, I'd say you should allow him make his own food. But as the BIL is concerned and I'm guessing you're yoruba, with their profound respect for seniors, I'd say get used to it. You don't expect him to goto the kitchen n prepare dinner when you're there. Just a lil sacrifice you can afford.

Now issue of space and some privacy, I feel you have a point there. You should talk to your hubby about it. Tell him how you'd appreciate spending more quality time with him. Let him understand you're asking for the space for both of you and not just for you. Before he starts thinking you're inconsiderate to a brother he obviously loves. Just use your Superior Feminine Convincing Skill (SFCS). I'm sure if your husband cares how you feel he'll give it a thought.

But when all these doesn't work, make the sacrifice for the sake of the union. Someone has got to make sacrifice for Peace. It won't kill you, as you said, you just biding your time.

HML

Whether u like it or not, ur hubby will always tell u to cook for his brother becos they are of thesame blood.

Btw, dnt u tink u are been quite selfish here? Since u know the days of the week ur BIL normally comes to stay with u guys, can't u make his food together wen making ur hubby's own? Must u wait for ur hubby to tell u b4 doin it? Haba...!!

If u feel u need space and more time with ur hubby, why not discuss it wit him so that he will know how to address his elder bro rather than carryin ur anger out on ur BIL in the form of refusal to cook for him or starvation

Hmmm. There's one thing here OP. You see him as an hopeless person. That's just the reason for your anger. Please get that outta your mind. He's not hopeless, its just a matter of time. All will be well with him and please don't lose face with him. What you appreciate won't depreciate and what you give won't finish. Keep on enduring all will be well at the end.

OP, no vex but ur complaint no legit oh hh. Is this ur brother in law following you out of the country ?

Pele o

Is the brother in-law okay?

Why should you inconvenience a couple with a kid living in a ONE BEDROOM apartment? HABA!!! At least, he should reason na... Can't he rent his own house?

He should respect himself jorh...

Imagine! They've not spent a complete week together for the past 52 weeks without the brother in-law bugging them. Which kyn pest be that?

As a woman, you need space, you need your privacy. Tell your husband. Explain things to him.

His family members should gather money and rent an apartment for him.

@ op, you are very avaricious. I know it's inconvenient for you but please you should be patient with him. Don't see him like a hopeless man and please don't judge him based on his current condition because no condition is permanent. Do you think he's happy with his present condition? I would encourage you to try and remember him in your prayer so God can turn his life around for good.

Thank God you will be leaving the country very soon, so please be polite to him and stop giving him attitude. I pray may almighty God change his life so he can be useful for himself and his family.

Why can't you guys be considerate? Asking her to cook, to endure & not see him as hopeless... When won't she?
As a grown man, u're happily invading ur younger brothers home. A 1bedroom apartment with a child... Don't u ppl even fear God?
Cook fire

Snoggy: Is the brother in-law okay?

Why should you inconvenience a couple with a kid living in a ONE BEDROOM apartment? HABA!!! At least, he should reason na... Can't he rent his own house?

He should respect himself jorh...

Imagine! They've not spent a complete week together for the past 52 weeks without the brother in-law bugging them. Which kyn pest be that?

As a woman, you need space, you need your privacy. Tell your husband. Explain things to him.



His family members should gather money and rent an apartment for him.

Love how you put things, saved me from commenting! All good and valid points you have made, i really feel the OPs position. Thats tough and she has borne that situation long enough. A grown man should have his own accommodation.

krystal101: Why can't you guys be considerate? Asking her to cook, to endure & not see him as hopeless... When won't she?
As a grown man, u're happily invading ur younger brothers home. A 1bedroom apartment with a child... Don't u ppl even fear God?
Cook fire

yep yep, feeling you here

Heeya, pele @op.
Few men realize d energy it takes to take care of dem, u, and a baby. D lack of privacy is part of d main problem. Since u r leaving soon, try to swallow it and act zombie till u leave.

The guy no get him own house? Abeg dont cook joor its not a must

When I started watching this ur films I first think you are wrong and not merciful but as I read on I found out you apreciate the good path of him so I'm not going to bash you.See I understand your pains,no matter how patient you are one day you may feel tired,but let me advice you continue to be good to him your husband know what he is doing o.This man may be the one that will help you and your children tomorrow.It can't continue like that forever no one that didn't like to be respected.He may not be happy he is disturbing you people though he may not show it on face but definately he appreciate your patience,what if tomorrow if heaven smile on him you may need more than what you are doing for him now even your husband too.No one knows tomorrow thread softly,thank God is ur brother inlaw what if its your mother inlaw that come to stay with you permanently in that one single room will u drag her out?as I'm talking to you some young married women are experiencing that and heaven did not fall.Enikeni tiwo banipa latise iranlowo fun,ohun lenikeji re toju re meaning whoever you are capable of helping he is ur brother pls help him,no one knows tomorrow o,he may rule the world.

If it was your own brother coming to your house, 1000% you wil never complain.

sorry dear ...but you have to also talk with ur husband tell him how u feel about this issue

praxs:
If it was your own brother coming to your house, 1000% you wil never complain.

True, these ladies respect their brothers and they will do anything to make them happy especially when they are married.