what i dont understand is why the girl's aspirations and goals dont seem to count here

Does anyone even ask their girlfriends when they want to get married, whether they want a career first, or when they would prefer to have kids

You cant eat your cake and have it

What are you doing dating a lady in her mid-twenties without considering her plans for HER future
what's all this waiting for HIM to be ready, what abt her?

Its this same NL that has threads about women >25 being ripe for marriage and those already 30 being too old

if you have dated a girl for awhile and you are not ready to commit to marriage whilst she is at least have the decency to let her date others instead of insisting that ur relationship be exclusive. That's just cruel

i hope this isnt some sort of feminist talk, if a woman is ready and a man isnt, who should be considered? well, maybe the lady, provided she pays for wedding, buys the ring etc. u dig?

salsera:

what i don't understand is why the girl's aspirations and goals don't seem to count here

Does anyone even ask their girlfriends when they want to get married, whether they want a career first, or when they would prefer to have kids

You can't eat your cake and have it

What are you doing dating a lady in her mid-twenties without considering her plans for HER future
what's all this waiting for HIM to be ready, what about her?

Its this same Nairaland that has threads about women >25 being ripe for marriage and those already 30 being too old

if you have dated a girl for awhile and you are not ready to commit to marriage whilst she is at least have the decency to let her date others instead of insisting that your relationship be exclusive. That's just cruel

thank you jare

@ topic

Don't worry. Probably no woman also wants to settle down with you!

your present state of mind is as a result of the way you have lived your life. Marriage should be a man for a woman ortherwise polygamy or unfaithfulness. Our past really works on us; doesn't it?

U ave 2 approach dis in a reasonable manner, no one wants 2 b left hanging,

since u just left school, d possibilty of u settling down in anoda 3yrs, infact 5yrs is slim, (considering ur ages sha). Bt, if u love her ddat much, n can be certain u can maintain ur relationship, despite d distance dat may obstruct d flow, e.g nysc, masters degree aboard, den u can simple explain n try 2 convinnce her dat u r 4 real,

odawise, u beta let her go now, after school, dere's still a lot more things to learn, and she may den decide whether her exit, if its wot she eventual does was d best decision.

i've had friends who left school while in a relationship, but it didnt stand d test of nysc, reason being d lack of trust,

so, if u must, den u must learn to trust even at odd times.

gudluck.

Like i once said, it is like having a Television with cable and you are allowed to watch only one channel, however, it is important to make sure that the program is one that will make u happy for the rest of your life and no side attraction will move you?

Don't make decisions because of anyone else but you.

Yes, we are talking about: something on the average of: 40yrs more, you and her in d same house, manufacturing and grooming kids, blah, blah, blah.

The decision is yours, and yours alone, no one can be held responsible for your decision but you, so be extremely careful.

My girlfriend's mum, once tried to bond me and her daughter when we had an issue, I simply told her, ma'am I respect you, and I will think abt it, but I cannot make decision cos of you, simply because it involves me and your daughter, Not You, cos, you will die in a few years, and I will still be carrying the cross because of YOU!!!

And Nigerians are good at arranging such.

it's not that bad, or is it?

Everyone wants to have their cake an eat it, but I would rather fill up on the tastiest than eat many nasty ones, and only have one nibble at the best tasting one.

Dont worry, I fear marriage as well thats why I have been avoiding the subject all the time

pls if u dont want to settle down with her let her know and dont waste her time.

@ truth2

Dont waste a lady's time if u are not ready to marry her. Their timing is not the same as men. if u have no future with her, then let her go and you move ahead.