These days, families, doctors, Churches and even society insist that an intending couple do a number of tests, like bloodgroup, HIV and general compatibility tests before they walk down the aisle. Usually, this is afer wedding plans have begun and a dating process has ended. My question is "Should one wait till few weeks to the wedding before running a test as imporatant as HIV?" This is dangerous, I mean what if one partner comes out positive? The people have probably been doing before now too (in most cases), so the other partner is possibly infected by this time. 

I think the right time to insist on a HIV test is at the beggining of a relationship. If someone indicates interest in you and you accept to have him/her, the next step should be to go for a HIV test (even if you have done it before). You may even go together. A right thinking person doesn't need a Pastor or Mother or Doctor to tell him to do this. This way, you save yourself the trauma, anxiety and anticipation of having to do a test so close to your wedding or even having to cancel wedding plans and explain to people that some thing happened along the line. Besides, you are sure of yourselves evn during the whole courtship process. So nairalanders, get up and begin to drag your partners (or prospective partners) to the nearest heart to heart centre. Or what do you think?

If someone indicates interested in you and you accept to have him/her, the next step should be to go for a HIV test (even if you have done it before).

Wrong. The right time is when you've just decided to sleep with the person.
It'd be silly to ask for an HIV test when you're still getting to know each other.

@ topic
I think the right time to insist on taking the Hiv test is when both parties are ready to start having unprotected sex.


_{But of course we know it rarely happens that way.}

As soon as you can ask for it.

When both parties want it RAW

onyeka_ng:

When both parties want it RAW

R = Real
A = Ass
W = Whooping

The right time is wen u want to start having sex .

Sleeping with the person or not sleeping with the person is not the issue here. Please understand this post.

The issue is you have decided to date someone and your relationship may end in marriage.

The issue is after marriage, you will definitely sleep with the person.

The issue is waiting till the wedding period before doing a test may lead to someonés heart being broken if the worst happens, and all the years of the beautiful relationship and waiting to get married will be wasted. I know many people who never bothered to do this test before marriage because they had got too familiar with each other by the time they were ready to get married. I know a guy who never bothered to do the test (even when people told him his wife had once been a bad girl) and the lady died of HIV after their wedding when she went to have deliver the baby.

Please get the point. The point here is the TIMING, not whether sex is pre- or -post marital.

Boslo:

The right time is when u want to start having sex .

like after marriage then you go do a test and discover that your partner is positive? 

Boslo:

The right time is when u want to start having sex .

what is you decide to stay off sex till marriage?

@topic

The best time is when the couple are ready to have unprotected sex and the guy has serious plans of walking down the aisle soon.

It is not only HIV that is important but a thorough medical check up including urine, blood, vaginal swab and excreta.

So many men have partially dead infections in their system .eg. Syphillis, staph, etc that were not fully treated and could lead to problems in child bearing.

Some ladies have stubborn yeast/toilet infections.

So the tests are very necessary so that treatment can be administered in full by a competent doctor and then they can proceed to the altar.

never never do the test. tell me, if it turns out what you don't want to hear, what will you do?

I will only do the test when im thinking of getting serious with the guy
and we will do it again after marriage

i dont need any wahala in my life o

@poster

In respond to your question on the right TIMING, i think its best after you propose to her (before announcing the engagement formally). Let her know that the proposal is still subject to medical confirmation. You dont have to tell your girl its HIV test she should do- just take her along with you to the doctor and tell the doc to take samples and conduct full medical check on the both of you. I am assuming that prior to this, the couple have been using condoms.

Better answer gamine.

$$Rhino:

R = Real
A = Ass
W = Whooping

LOL!

efelestus:

never never do the test. tell me, if it turns out what you don't want to hear, what will you do?

o! boy play safe ooo
check your status

iamunique:

@poster

In respond to your question on the right TIMING, i think its best after you propose to her (before announcing the engagement formally). Let her know that the proposal is still subject to medical confirmation. You don't have to tell your girl its HIV test she should do- just take her along with you to the doctor and tell the doc to take samples and conduct full medical check on the both of you. I am assuming that prior to this, the couple have been using condoms.  

so u will be riding an infected dick till he propose, then, you will decide to make sure the dick is not over affected so that marriage cld be jolly jolly. Na wa oh

efelestus:

never never do the test. tell me, if it turns out what you don't want to hear, what will you do?

Oh well! I guess your own POV is quite different from the mainstream isnt it?

$$Rhino:

so u will be riding an infected privates till he propose, then, you will decide to make sure the privates is not over affected so that marriage cld be jolly jolly. Na wa oh

Help me ask them oh. That's what I mean. No need to wait till you want to marry someone when you may end up wasting the relationship. Time of test is now - I think in this computer age, everyone should know their HIV status by now sef.

$$Rhino:

so u will be riding an infected privates till he propose, then, you will decide to make sure the privates is not over affected so that marriage cld be jolly jolly. Na wa oh

Did you miss the part where i stated that the couple must have been using condoms?  Did you care to read my previous post? Dont quote me out of context please.


Or are you trying to say that all the girls you've sticked in your life time you conducted hiv test on them before the deed?

Wokeyim:

Help me ask them oh. That's what I mean. No need to wait till you want to marry someone when you may end up wasting the relationship. Time of test is now - I think in this computer age, everyone should know their HIV status by now sef.

i agree with you jare.
know now and free ur mind.
Pple need to be aware too that cos they are virgin dont mean they are HIV negative, cos as long as u visit nija hospital, you are as prone to it as sleeping with Mr. HIV, so when you go to nija clinic, buy ur own needle i beg.

iamunique:

Did you miss the part where i stated that the couple must have been using condoms? Did you care to read my previous post? Dont quote me out of context please.


Or are you trying to say that all the girls you've sticked in your life time you conducted hiv test on them before the deed?

Next time u buy condom for your bra, read well, it doesnt prevent from HIV.

. . .hmnn. .sensitive topic and even more intriguing are the answers.

@ topic: You really can't go around telling everyone u meet 2 go 4 HIV test. _{remember there's something called freewill} Be that as it may, if both parties have decided to be committed to the relationship, not just sexually- ohhhhh. . . .I mean wholeheartedly committed.

That'd be the right time to go for the test. .tis' part of getting to know each other, really. And I dare say it shouldn't stop at that, guys/babes are wont to cheat, Bleep what the self-righteous think. so ensure your test is periodical.


Just ma 50cents


PS: Peace out

@ Rhino
Pple need to be aware too that because they are virgin don't mean they are HIV negative, because as long as u visit nija hospital, you are as prone to it as sleeping with Mr. HIV, so when you go to nija clinic, buy your own needle i beg.

I'll add something else to this: pls all the ladies, take ur weavon needles to salons when u want to do you hair. A pack of needles costs just 30naira and you can use them for well over a year, which is much more cheaper than getting the virus. If the saloonist mistakenly pricks your skin, all u'll get is "sorry". But your mind will never be at rest. Please buy your manicure and pedicure set too. We all know how easy it is to get wounded when fixing your nails. These things are cheap to buy, yet few people remember to buy them. This life, na one we get oh, there's no part II.

quote from okanran
That'd be the right time to go for the test. .tis' part of getting to know each other, really. And I dare say it shouldn't stop at that, guys/babes are wont to cheat, Bleep what the self-righteous think. so ensure your test is periodical.

I agree with all your points Bro, especially this. I remember when I went to do a HIV test with my boy-friend. The councillor happened to be my Mum's friend! I wanted to leave to another hospital at that point but it was too late and I am happy I didnt go back. Only God knows what she had on her mind, but she broke the rule of secrecy and went to tell my mum that I came with a man to do a HIV test at the hospital. Lol! Guess what! Mumsie congratulated me on taking such a bold step! When people do the right thing, they should be applauded. The reporting auntie must have thought "These two people want to do, that is why there are coming to do test."

Well said and i so much agree with you.

jst wen they wnt  2 start making luv

tutcy4u:

jst when they wnt 2 start making love

so no need to check while all they dong is poking, shagging and having sex, but they shd when they wanna start making love, cos, there is a big difference btw love making and shagging.

@post
I feel that a person should get tested in a relationship, when they BOTH mutually decide they are ready to become an intimate couple.

If you know it's becoming a SERIOUS relationship that's when you do the important tests then it wont be til its gets to marriage point before you find out what could ruin everything. It should be done as a pool of blood and fertility tests.

More people should do this instead of waiting til after the wedding so we wont have to deal with daft threads of "my blah blah is this and Im married"

Karma you said it all. I know folk who wait to marriage before they get tested and find out one of them is HIV positive. it is sad to see but it happens. That is why i can't stress enough for people to suck up that false sense of pride and go get tested. It is way better to know your statis than to pass it on to some innocent person.

I agree with all your points Bro, especially this. I remember when I went to do a HIV test with my boy-friend. The councillor happened to be my Mum's friend! I wanted to leave to another hospital at that point but it was too late and I am happy I didnt go back. Only God knows what she had on her mind, but she broke the rule of secrecy and went to tell my mum that I came with a man to do a HIV test at the hospital. Lol! Guess what! Mumsie congratulated me on taking such a bold step! When people do the right thing, they should be applauded. The reporting auntie must have thought "These two people want to do, that is why there are coming to do test."

Your mom's friend is an unprofessional bitch. I personally would have reported her then she would have lost her job.

Anyway lucky you, most mothers arent that understanding.

Now people are beggining to understand my post.      Thanks you all.

@ Karmamod
Yes Oh. My mum was happy I did what I did. She was only unhappy that she got to know about my boyfriend from some-one else, not me. But I had to establish certain things about our relationship - including a HIV test - before running to introduce him to my parents. Anyway, the woman even helped to make the introduction easier for us.