hey nairalanders,
I AM A YOUNG LADY (BELOW 25) BUT I JUST LOST A YOUNG MAN TO WHOM I'VE BEEN MARRIED TO 4 2YEARS TO DEATH
I LOVED HIM DEARLY BUT ITS ALMOST 8MONTHS SINCE HE DIED AND I COULDNT THINK OF GOING OUT WITH ANYONE ELSE
NOW I HAVE FEELINGS FOR ANOTHER YOUNG MAN BUT SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE I AM CHEATING ON HIM
I DO NOT FEEL SO ATTACHED TO HIM ANYMORE AND SOMETIMES I TEND TO FEEL GUILTY BUT THE YOUNG MAN IS DEAD AND I WORSHIPPED HIM WHILE HE WAS ALIVE
PLEASE DO YOU THINK IT IS TOO EARLY TO START ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP?

AND IF U WERE A GUY HOW WOULD U FEEL IF U FOUND OUT THAT THE GIRL U WANT TO DATE HAD BEEN MARRIED AND WIDOWD EVEN IF SHE IS STILL YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL

First and fore most, I'm Sorry bout the death Of your late husby

well, i personally think it's a bit too early to Start seeing another mean, i mean 8 months isnt that much, it's a barely a year and U even said ''almost'' meaning it's not exactly 8 months yet.

the dead Is dead and life muct Still move On but U gotta pay Some honour to Ur late husby

i would advice U not to Rush into anytin now Cuz thou U may think U're Over your late husby it may not be So and memories Of the good tymes together may Come back to break Up your new relationship, Cuz no guy would like to see ya thinking Or remembering what U had with another man right in his presence

U Can keep On seeing this man but just don't Rush things afterall it's helping U heal Some pain, U didnt mention anytin bout Children

Personally I have always thought that the best way to get over a person was to get into another relationship, this way you think less of the ex and bring your focus and concentration into the present the only problem with this is that there's a possibility of you comparing both guys especially if you are still crazy about your ex which you obviously are. The thing is for you relate positivty to his death and question yourself, that if your husband loved you just as much as you did him would he want for you to be grieving over his death and wallowing in lonliness? (no) i'm sure he want's you to be happy so try to be and since he happens to be dead then you clearly aren't cheating on him (it was till death do you part, not till the ends of eternity)

And i don't believe that you being married and widowed would disturd guys, it would probably stun them but it would not put them off They are Guys for Goodness Sake since you are still young and beautiful as you said then you are definitely not going to be single for long.

i think its still so early to start seeing someone else, 8 months, a year and a half is enough, may his gentle soul rest in peace

he actually died in october last year and the only baby we had died due to fatigue after delivery

HEY GURL, I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT, JUST RESPECT HIM AND CHILL FOR ALIL TIME, ITS STILL SO EARLY

Hi Oluchikeh,

Sad indeed that you lost your husband this early.Take heart!
I'm certain that responses to this issue are going to be diverse;
some might feel that it's quite early in the day for you to start
nursing a new relationship others might be of the opinion that
you have to go on with your life.Naturally,you loved your husband
while he lived and it's easy to see that you still do.This is a feeling
that has come to you personally without the benefit of anybody's
impressions.
In the light of this,I'll advise that you follow your feelings.You cant
be wrong about the right time for you to achieve emotional stability
between your sense of loss and of the neccesity of going on.Just
take it easy and follow your instincts.
Will i date a widow?Love is just everything.All the best  

its NOT TO EARLY TO DATE FOR ME BUT I WILL NOT MAKE IT PUBLIC  .
I will be very ddiscreetabout it.

MaMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAPuttttttttttttttttttttttt

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

don't think its too early to date again but be careful who u wanna date cos it'll be tough trynna find someone like ur late hubby.

all the best!!

In my humble opinion, given she said "cheating on him", I think dating is being equated to being intimate again. If not, please let me know and I stand corrected.

From her comments above, I will say with confidence that she isn't over the guy and my advice to her would be to stay out of the dating scene for a while. When she is ready to get back, it shdnt be based on how many months since the guy died or some kind of tradition that somehow favors the men over the women, but on whether she is in fact ready. To me, again given her comments above, she isn't, and won't be ready anytime soon.

Once she is ready, trust me, for one, the "cheating" feeling won't be there.

As always my 2 cents

Follow your heart, see another guy when your heart tells you to. Be happy, it is the most important thing. I am sure you late boyfriend will be smiling above to know that you are happy. He'd be wishing it, beleive me. Stay strong.

mizkay:

Follow your heart, see another guy when your heart tells you to. Be happy, it is the most important thing. I am sure you late boyfriend will be smiling above to know that you are happy. He'd be wishing it, beleive me. Stay strong.

Well it depends on individual state of the mind, i can only feel guity if i can't remember again in my entier life. we all pray that may Death not claim our lifes and the one we do love darely to our heart. AMEN

so what have you just said that shows the need to have me quoted?

Hi, sorry to hear abt the late Hubby.
well i think its not about how soon you shld start dating but about how ready you are to start dating.
just take your time and dont be in a haste, you are still young and right now, you may be feeling SOOO ALONE. Please dont let such feelings get through to you, what i suggest you do is to go on dates, have fun, be with friends and loved ones, go back to school (if you dont have a college degree already), just give your self time, not only so that the wounds will heal but so that when you are ready to be commited again ina serious relationship you will be a new person.

Nb: Some men take advantage of widows, wether old or young. So please be careful and wait until you are really ready.

[bEh yeah madam sorry for the death of ur husband.

I know someone that is death is gone but u still have to hold on abit please, don't just rush into any relationship is too early i am a lady too. at least him the honour even God will appreciate it and pray for the better person.

anytime u want

live your life for you and follow your heart !!!

i think my2cent has got a point yet. if she is over the guy, she wont be feeling guilty and stuff. but to me. the best way to get over him faster is to see someone else and for crying out loud 8 months aint too early to start. go and have fun, club party and stuff. if u had kids, it wud be different but u dont have any so go out there and get jiggy with it. like i always say, you feel guilty the first time you try it but after a while, the guilt will disappear and your life will return to normal.





sorry about your hubby and child.

Oh im sory. i think its too early for a new relationship for now. but u should get someone that u feel for close to you so whenever you re okay with all traces of guilt you can lean on him. Remember to pick up youself and forge ahead.


that is my advice.


How are you coping now? Hope you re ok sister

oluchi biko

go and find ur happiness, ok be safe and take care ists not to late, it just means u recovered quickly frm the moaning nothgin wrong with that. or do u want to wait for him to findsomeone else.