Why are Nigerian women so content with being single mothers? I have seen far too many. I don't think many of them realize the effects that not growing up without a father has on the children.

I've noticed especially the younger generations think nothing of having children out of wedlock. It's so normal. WTF? Learn to use contraception if you can't be abstinent. I'm not trying to be a do-gooder. I'm only saying Nigerian women need to be more careful in relationships. I'm sick of hearing women blaming their idiocy on men. If you were not raped, you have no right to complain if you get stuck with an unwanted baby. What some Nigerian women are doing just makes the men think they can just use them and abandon them with the baby/babies because it has become such a normalcy.

I know this happens everywhere in the world but I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about us. We don't need to use other people as a measurement. Our society is rotting and deteriorating and this is one of the major reasons why.

my question are
have u been married??
do you have child??

if the answers are no, then you are not qualify to start this thread

No I have never been married and I don't have children. That however does not mean that I can't see or haven't had experiences.

I'm not trying to offend anyone.

@riskie

really?

Theaz a reasn 4 everythn, ma mum is single, has been 4 a long time, and we are OK!

Riskie:

No I have never been married and I don't have children. That however does not mean that I can't see or haven't had experiences.

I'm not trying to offend anyone.

neither have i
so i dont think we should just blame it all the woman
we might see, but we can never really can tell what really happened in the marriage or relationship
you are also generalising, not good

I thought Nigerian women tried so hard to get married and disliked being viewed as being without a man or a single mother?

tammyswits:

Theaz a reasn 4 everythn, ma mum is single, has been 4 a long time, and we are OK!

That's great.  

tope2000:

neither have i
so i don't think we should just blame it all the woman
we might see, but we can never really can tell what really happened in the marriage or relationship
you are also generalising, not good

I'm not genralizing. I never said all. I said some. I know we can't know the circumstances behind every marriage/relationship I'm only saying that we shouldn't make single parenting a habit. It's becoming so 'everyday'. It's like people don't care about having traditional families anymore.

My mother has been divorced for several years. So it's just the two of us. I'm not saying it's a terrible thing. I'm only trying to say people should avoid it if it's possible.

I can't be a single mother if it can be helped.

So it's not all naija women.

But for those that prefer being a single mother, it's either because their man is a playa, he's irresponsible, or if the woman herself likes being independent.

So many rubbish men this days, that it's hard to trust some of them as a faithful husband.

StephenP:

I thought Nigerian women tried so hard to get married and disliked being viewed as being without a man or a single mother?

Maybe back in the day. But from my observations a lot of younger people could care less. This is just my opinion.

Riskie:

That's great.

I'm not genralizing. I never said all. I said some. I know we can't know the circumstances behind every marriage/relationship I'm only saying that we shouldn't make single parenting a habit. It's becoming so 'everyday'. It's like people don't care about having traditional families anymore.
My mother has been divorced for several years. So it's just the two of us. I'm not saying it's a terrible thing. I'm only trying to say people should avoid it if it's possible.

that i agree with
but they are reasons why some women are single parent that is my arguement

funniest joke have heard in months


An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees'!
'What powerful rivers'!
'What beautiful animals'!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'?
The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?

'Very Well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

post it 2 the joke section abeg

Any woman that opts to go the single way rather than stay in an abusive marriage/relationship gets my whole hearted support. It is not the most ideal situation to raise kids but it sure beats some of the wrecks that we call marriages these dayz.

Lol, funny joke lmao

Uche2nna:

Any woman that opts to go the single way rather than stay in an abusive marriage/relationship gets my whole hearted support. It is not the most ideal situation to raise kids but it sure beats some of the wrecks that we call marriages these dayz.

thank u

I'm not talking about single mothers in the circumstances of divorce, abusive relationships etc. I'm talking about those that are single mothers because they were with a random guy/boyfriend and had a baby by "mistake" or those who use children as a way to trap a guy.

I'm not crazy. I wouldn't blame a lady who was getting beat up by her "husband" everyday and left so that her kids could have a better life.

@ yemmyse: glad u liked my joke.

@ riskie

have been trying to reach you since i read it, so I could compliment you. Prior to reading the joke, had the impression that u were just interested in dissing other tribes (u and Mc Usman).

Anyway, nice one, keep it up

I don't diss other tribes

Riskie:

. I'm talking about those that are single mothers because they were with a random guy/boyfriend and had a baby by "mistake"

Maybe I am no longer in touch with the naija culture (doubt it) but the last time I checked (and that was not very long ago  ) under normal cirumstances most naija women would expect marriage immediately they find out U have put them in the family way.  The resistance usually comes from the guy.

Riskie:

those who use children as a way to trap a guy.

Now I think I am losing ur line of thots. Trap the guy into what Marriage or a single parent relationship??

Uche2nna:

Maybe I am no longer in touch with the naija culture (doubt it) but the last time I checked (and that was not very long ago  ) under normal cirumstances most naija women would expect marriage immediately they find out You have put them in the family way.  The resistance usually comes from the guy.


Now I think I am losing your line of thoughts. Trap the guy into what Marriage or a single parent relationship??

That's exactly my point. they shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.

By trapping the guy, I mean women try using children to trap a man into marriage and as a result of the man's reluctance, they end up being single parents.

Riskie:

That's exactly my point. they shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.

By trapping the guy, I mean women try using children to trap a man into marriage and as a result of the man's reluctance, they end up being single parents.

Well, then the woman is not content with it (as your posts suggest). It just means that she was a victim of circumstance. In this case a reluctant baby daddy 

She is in no way a victim. She wasn't forced into getting pregnant

Kini Big Deal? Abeg,It's a free world o jare.

Why Do Some Naija Women Think Being A Single Mom Is Ok?

Why Do Some Naija Men Think Abandoning Their Kids is OK?

They both made the child therefore they have equal responsibility over it but that's hardly ever the case.

Why are Nigerian women so content with being single mothers? I have seen far too many. I don't think many of them realize the effects that not growing up without a father has on the children.

what kind of ignorant statement is that? what effects?

my mum is a sngle parent by choice. . . i agree it is not everyone's idea of a perfect family but it was perfect for us. . . she decided earlythat she never wanted to get married and she has made a success of her life and family without help from anyman. my bro and I are better off than many of our friends who grew up in "conventional" homes and hav better lives, so what effects pray tell do u mean?

The author of this thread almost infuriated me with this topic. Why generalise? What's the big deal in being a single mother. What you dont understand is that every woman has a choice to make concerning her life. She knows how best it would suit her to live it and i dont think she ever plan or dream of raising her kids alone. Circumstances might have warranted it so it is understandable. I am not saying it is the ideal thing to be a single mum but pls caution yourself next time when it comes to this sensitive issue. ok!

Being married is good and ideal but it is not the ultimate as far as i am concerned. MY SINCERE OPINION!

Riskie:

She is in no way a victim. She wasn't forced into getting pregnant

I guess U are rite.  However, if her plan had gone well she would be[b] Mrs somebody [/b] before giving birth.

Anyways, it is all a matter of choice. Majority of the naija women I know would always take a 2 parent family any day. Only a rare few would prefer to be single and until U know what circumstances that led to thier taking dat kind of decision U cant really pass a verdict on that.

HR.hotness:



what kind of ignorant statement is that? what effects?

my mum is a sngle parent by choice. . . i agree it is not everyone's idea of a perfect family but it was perfect for us. . . she decided earlythat she never wanted to get married and she has made a success of her life and family without help from anyman. my bro and I are better off than many of our friends who grew up in "conventional" homes and hav better lives, so what effects pray tell do u mean?

My mom is a single parent as well. So,I'm not saying it's always a horrid thing. I'm only saying that in some situations it works out horribly. I have friends who resent their mothers because they don't have relationships with their fathers.

I never once said it was impossible to live a decent life without a father. But the truth is that single parenting is often times difficult for the parent and the children.

Anyway I'm entitled to my opinion just as you are entitled to yours. I do not need to defend it.

Being a single mom shuldnt be attributed to Naija women only!

They arent d first 2 think itz ok!

Besides being a single aint no big deal, esp. in today's society,

y is it when naija women indulge in some sort of act etc. dat people take it as if itz a crime or sth.

[size=14pt]I never said all, I said some. The word 'some' is in no way indicative of generalization. I have already acknowledged in the first post that it happens in other places, not only in Nigeria.

About it not being a big deal. That's your opinion. To me it is a big deal. I am entitled to think and speak/type as I please. Just as you can.

Read the post well before accusing people. I did not generalize.[/size]