Ify Angela:
Really? I thought men love the chase.

not all.

I dnt adhere to rules in terms of relationship, It shud be as d spirit leads.

craziebone:

not all.

aiite

obayaya:

no be hard to get you play so?

lol,u dey jonz

5yrs and if you are a SpaceGooat 15yrs

Mondisweets: 5yrs and if you are a SpaceGooat 15yrs

Elantracey: as long as u can

see them

ok.. let me ask this, you ladies and guys.

If a guy asks to take a lady out for a movie or something and she says ok (Ps: the guy if footing the bills), then its the D-day, 1hrs bfor hr zero, you call her, and she says.... ohhh, sorry, something came up, i cnt make it. What do you call that plz..... its possible something came up, but then nothing stops her frm calling to inform the guy way before the time, or maybe she forgot about the appointment. I used a movie just as an example. Other instances abound.... frm "i am coming to visit you noon sunday" to "yes, dinner is good for tuesday"

My brain finds it difficult to differentiate between when she is not interested, when she wants you to chase or when she is simply an unreliable person. (the later being my usual take.. and thats why i generally walk away)

What i dont understand is.... these things shld be easy, straight forward. Maybe its weird to me because i am kind of crazy about schedule, dates and time. If i make a date, i save that date in stone, except its a life threatening situation, i always keep to my dates and times. And if i cnt make it, i make sure i call i good time to cancel.

So i dnt understand how some ladies wld make a date, decide to cancel, and yet would not inform you until u call few hrs or minutes before the date. So do these ladies cancel because they want guys to keep asking and chasing or they cancel because it makes them feel sophisticated?

I think this ish of chasing after a lady is a bit over stretched by a lot of guys. Yeah, I have fallen into that web of 'lady-chasing'. Matter of factly, I have 'chased' after a lady for a little over a year but the truth is, no matter how long or short we chase, marriage will come when it comes.

I don't think it has anything to do with how long or short we do the chasing. Granted, there are some ladies who are worth chasing but still chasing for me shouldn't be the in-thing. I think taking one bit at a time is more like it.

If you like a lady then first try and be her friend. If you guys become great friends as time goes on and you too are quite compatible and comfortable with each other then would be the right time to ask her out. After-all, we all want to get married to our best friend.

Harbosede02: lol,u dey jonz

One week,

@Op, was thinking of this same issue over the weekend after having this same topic with the guys (age between 30-38years). Was scared of starting up this topic so that the nairaland babies won't bombard it and derail the topic.

The most irritating is ladies giving out their number knowing well they will never pick up the guy's call or intentionally cutting it within 1minute and refuse to pick up afterwards.

I believe those with thing nasty attitude are the ones who think they are still young and attractive as so suitors will still keep coming.

The ladies who are in their late 20s and mid 30s will dare not attempt such silly "forming".


That's why dating older ladies is advisable in some instances.

bootstrap: ok.. let me ask this, you ladies and guys.

If a guy asks to take a lady out for a movie or something and she says ok (Ps: the guy if footing the bills), then its the D-day, 1hrs bfor hr zero, you call her, and she says.... ohhh, sorry, something came up, i cnt make it. What do you call that plz..... its possible something came up, but then nothing stops her frm calling to inform the guy way before the time, or maybe she forgot about the appointment. I used a movie just as an example. Other instances abound.... frm "i am coming to visit you noon sunday" to "yes, dinner is good for tuesday"

My brain finds it difficult to differentiate between when she is not interested, when she wants you to chase or when she is simply an unreliable person. (the later being my usual take.. and thats why i generally walk away)

What i dont understand is.... these things shld be easy, straight forward. Maybe its weird to me because i am kind of crazy about schedule, dates and time. If i make a date, i save that date in stone, except its a life threatening situation, i always keep to my dates and times. And if i cnt make it, i make sure i call i good time to cancel.

So i dnt understand how some ladies wld make a date, decide to cancel, and yet would not inform you until u call few hrs or minutes before the date. So do these ladies cancel because they want guys to keep asking and chasing or they cancel because it makes them feel sophisticated?

hmmm different strokes for different ladies. If i did that to a guy then it means i wasn't into him cos if i was i would've called to say i wouldn't make it instead of waiting till the d-day and him doing the calling. Like someone posted, 'a girl wouldn't waste your time if she really likes you'

neva liked d waitin game. pisses me off, nd i take it as a sign dat she is not into me. don't gals will waste ur time if dey liked u.

it just recently happened to me nd i found out one of my guyz was already shootin for her so i left.

2-4 months...i need alot of time to think abt it first

@OP,some guys are simply like that, I think the reason is to preserve their ego or let me use self-esteem in this context. Sometimes, ladies are meant to be wooed/chased but when they keep shying away from your advances better back off bro to avoid any contemptuous act.

bootstrap: so... I am a 30yrs old guy, quite good looking, got a good job, comfortable, straight and single. Recently, i have been doing some self appraisal as to why i am still single (boring summer break, away frm school work has its issues..lol). I find that i am not a love-dovie kind of guy. I just am more of a 'reason' dude.

my major consign tho is, i think, i just hate drama that comes with ladies playing hard to get. i feel relationships shldnt be a favour (to either party). I feel it shld be give and take. To put in perspective, my last GF, i just asked her straight up.... Do you think we cld start a relationship (we were already friends tho) ... and she said, yeah, lets give it a try. And that was it.

I generally ask girls i like to, say... let me take you to the movie, or you care to hangout smtime? most of them say yes, but keep doing this annoying thing of either postponing (something came up) or just pretend they forgot. My answer is usually, whenever you ready u just give me a call, and then i never ask again. I hv been recently made to understand that some of them dnt like to just look cheap, desperate or something like that. Another example; i was given some lady's contact, i just asked her.... do you want us to maybe get to knw each other better? she said yes, then i suggested she got Skype so we cld talk whenever (we about 7 time zones apart). She agreed but never did. After asking 2ice, i just stopped contacting her.

Problem is, my brain dnt really think like that, i feel you either want to, or dnt want to. I dnt believe in the "in-betweens". I tell a girl, i like you, she says ehmm, she doesn't think so, or she wants to think about it, and i just walk away. I do not chase after her.

Does this happen to just me, or it happens to you guys too. So, to the question.....

HOW LONG IS LONG ENOUGH TO CHASE AFTER A LADY?

You are not alone bro. Don't stress too much, the one that will click with you will cluck.

Use your precious time to add value to your business, life, etc.... Take a vacation, give yourself a good treat and keep doing your thing.

bootstrap: ok.. let me ask this, you ladies and guys.

If a guy asks to take a lady out for a movie or something and she says ok (Ps: the guy if footing the bills), then its the D-day, 1hrs bfor hr zero, you call her, and she says.... ohhh, sorry, something came up, i cnt make it. What do you call that plz..... its possible something came up, but then nothing stops her frm calling to inform the guy way before the time, or maybe she forgot about the appointment. I used a movie just as an example. Other instances abound.... frm "i am coming to visit you noon sunday" to "yes, dinner is good for tuesday"

My brain finds it difficult to differentiate between when she is not interested, when she wants you to chase or when she is simply an unreliable person. (the later being my usual take.. and thats why i generally walk away)

What i dont understand is.... these things shld be easy, straight forward. Maybe its weird to me because i am kind of crazy about schedule, dates and time. If i make a date, i save that date in stone, except its a life threatening situation, i always keep to my dates and times. And if i cnt make it, i make sure i call i good time to cancel.

So i dnt understand how some ladies wld make a date, decide to cancel, and yet would not inform you until u call few hrs or minutes before the date. So do these ladies cancel because they want guys to keep asking and chasing or they cancel because it makes them feel sophisticated?

We are in the same shoe .

There is this lady that act so non-chalant about our friendship (doesnt call, text or show any iota of care if i dnt ), but the truth is whenever i overlook all dt and calls her, we get talkin real good and she gives this really annoying excuse of 'she being that type of person-introvert type that has to be compelled to come out of her shell' and being always busy with her final yr project n all.

The truth is a part of me wants to give her time-which she asked for ,coz she's really someone i would love to have a future with (she's nt just evry other girl), the other part of me keeps asking how long are you going to keep waiting .

P.S : we v been friends for more than a yr , thou distance between us has been another itch we had to cope with.

bootstrap:
Does this happen to just me, or it happens to you guys too. So, to the question.....

HOW LONG IS LONG ENOUGH TO CHASE AFTER A LADY?

Dude, you just have to adjust your principles if you truly wanna marry an homie lady and live with homie lady cuz it shall give you problem in the future !


The fastest way to catch a girl without being rejected is to make her to be interested in you by delving into what she is interested in : the relationship is gonna be mutual and siiiiiaaam u go zeal am !

I discovered that when you put girls to be responsible for their actions as they usually do to we guys phhhhiiiiian , they will run away ..... Or recoil from you despite you probably being the best for 'em !!


Therefore, I used Op's tactics whenever I wanna put a girl @ arms length i.e OYO ooo !!


Though whenever I'm ready to really settle down for marriage , I will have to play the script Nigerian way , stalking , calling , chasing , visiting : Blahblah , Though it is irritating but no be to use am put the girl for house ?

Also, If u knack the girl just once , she will be the one chasin you until then .... Na you ooo

My maximum chasing period is always one week after which I friendzone the girl .... No Time 4 time self !!

bootstrap: ok.. let me ask this, you ladies and guys.

If a guy asks to take a lady out for a movie or something and she says ok (Ps: the guy if footing the bills), then its the D-day, 1hrs bfor hr zero, you call her, and she says.... ohhh, sorry, something came up, i cnt make it. What do you call that plz..... its possible something came up, but then nothing stops her frm calling to inform the guy way before the time, or maybe she forgot about the appointment. I used a movie just as an example. Other instances abound.... frm "i am coming to visit you noon sunday" to "yes, dinner is good for tuesday"

My brain finds it difficult to differentiate between when she is not interested, when she wants you to chase or when she is simply an unreliable person. (the later being my usual take.. and thats why i generally walk away)

What i dont understand is.... these things shld be easy, straight forward. Maybe its weird to me because i am kind of crazy about schedule, dates and time. If i make a date, i save that date in stone, except its a life threatening situation, i always keep to my dates and times. And if i cnt make it, i make sure i call i good time to cancel.

So i dnt understand how some ladies wld make a date, decide to cancel, and yet would not inform you until u call few hrs or minutes before the date. So do these ladies cancel because they want guys to keep asking and chasing or they cancel because it makes them feel sophisticated?

Women r sometimes very difficult to understand. D bottomline is dt once u show too much interest in a gal she ll nt take u seriously again. Cancellin dates is jst a game sometimes designed to heightened d other person's interest but it doesn't work at times. Try to give them three chances n if they dnt honour appointments then u can back off. Sometimes u can cancel dates for no reason too, it makes u look cool at her eyes n less desperate.
Women r purely emotional beings n if u r nt hittin on her emotions she ll nt feel much for u. Stop taking dates wit gals too seriously, learn to forget it too. Blow hot n cold abt it. Read more abt attraction n chemistry

tolutweety:

We are in the same shoe .

There is this lady that act so non-chalant about our friendship (doesnt call, ...

I knew my guts couldn't be wrong.

Harbosede02: Do sum gurls still play hard to get ni??

Hello miss .. We meet again! How r U doing?

ebullientV: Hello miss .. We meet again! How r U doing?

guess am good u??

Harbosede02: Do sum gurls still play hard to get ni??

Will you be my girlfriend please ?




















Mind you, you're not allowed to play hard to get.

bootstrap: so... I am a 30yrs old guy, quite good looking, got a good job, comfortable, straight and single. Recently, i have been doing some self appraisal as to why i am still single (boring summer break, away frm school work has its issues..lol). I find that i am not a love-dovie kind of guy. I just am more of a 'reason' dude.

my major consign tho is, i think, i just hate drama that comes with ladies playing hard to get. i feel relationships shldnt be a favour (to either party). I feel it shld be give and take. To put in perspective, my last GF, i just asked her straight up.... Do you think we cld start a relationship (we were already friends tho) ... and she said, yeah, lets give it a try. And that was it.

I generally ask girls i like to, say... let me take you to the movie, or you care to hangout smtime? most of them say yes, but keep doing this annoying thing of either postponing (something came up) or just pretend they forgot. My answer is usually, whenever you ready u just give me a call, and then i never ask again. I hv been recently made to understand that some of them dnt like to just look cheap, desperate or something like that. Another example; i was given some lady's contact, i just asked her.... do you want us to maybe get to knw each other better? she said yes, then i suggested she got Skype so we cld talk whenever (we about 7 time zones apart). She agreed but never did. After asking 2ice, i just stopped contacting her.

Problem is, my brain dnt really think like that, i feel you either want to, or dnt want to. I dnt believe in the "in-betweens". I tell a girl, i like you, she says ehmm, she doesn't think so, or she wants to think about it, and i just walk away. I do not chase after her.

Does this happen to just me, or it happens to you guys too. So, to the question.....

HOW LONG IS LONG ENOUGH TO CHASE AFTER A LADY?

My guy, the very same thing happened to me recently. I hav had a best friend (female) for close to ten years. An architect, tall, beautiful,

smart, decent, a true wife material who has been there for me thru the good times and the bad. She literally knows almost everything there is to

know about me. I sat down one day and asked myself...why shudnt I marry this amazing girl? She's everything I've wanted in a woman and

a wife. One time I took her out for a dinner date and I asked her to be my gf. She laffed and said that she knew that I was going to ask her

that question today...that's how well she knows me. To my surprise she said a week later that she doesn't want us to date only be friends as we

always have been. I was like ok...no sweat. Maybe it wasnt meant to be. I moved on. Some weeks later, I met this beautiful babe in church

who just by coincidence is also from my place. Some weeks later, we started dating. I called my friend and told her the good news only for her to

say that I just broke her heart? That it means I didnt really love her. How could I ask her out just once and not persist?

Mondisweets: 5yrs and if you are a SpaceGooat 15yrs

if u break a sweat, it means you are not using the right tool


btw, who does that in 2014?.

sexylogan:
My guy, the very same thing happened to me recently. I hav had a best friend (female) for close to ten years. An architect, tall, beautiful,
smart, decent, a true wife material who has been there for me thru the good times and the bad. She literally knows almost everything there is to
know about me. I sat down one day and asked myself...why shudnt I marry this amazing girl? She's everything I've wanted in a woman and
a wife. One time I took her out for a dinner date and I asked her to be my gf. She laffed and said that she knew that I was going to ask her
that question today...that's how well she knows me. To my surprise she said a week later that she doesn't want us to date only be friends as we
always have been. I was like ok...no sweat. Maybe it wasnt meant to be. I moved on. Some weeks later, I met this beautiful babe in church
who just by coincidence is also from my place. Some weeks later, we started dating. I called my friend and told her the good news only for her to
say that I just broke her heart? That it means I didnt really love her. How could I ask her out just once and not persist?

my bros , she is not doing u a favor to date u. I would just continue with the new church girl , if I were u. u see, if you start up by serial begging, sooner than later ,she will turn you to Julius Berger. starting a relationship with begging is a wrong approach. heaven would bear u witness that you did tried your best by asking her (old friend) to be your girlfriend and she said "NO".

u do not apply to much effort loosing a boot from a nut when you are using the right wrench/spanner.

mk she carry her shakara go . mecheeew!

sexylogan:

My guy, the very same thing happened to me recently. I hav had a best friend (female) for close to ten years. An architect, tall, beautiful,

smart, decent, a true wife material who has been there for me thru the good times and the bad. She literally knows almost everything there is to

know about me. I sat down one day and asked myself...why shudnt I marry this amazing girl? She's everything I've wanted in a woman and

a wife. One time I took her out for a dinner date and I asked her to be my gf. She laffed and said that she knew that I was going to ask her

that question today...that's how well she knows me. To my surprise she said a week later that she doesn't want us to date only be friends as we

always have been. I was like ok...no sweat. Maybe it wasnt meant to be. I moved on. Some weeks later, I met this beautiful babe in church

who just by coincidence is also from my place. Some weeks later, we started dating. I called my friend and told her the good news only for her to

say that I just broke her heart? That it means I didnt really love her. How could I ask her out just once and not persist?

Sorry mehn to hear, It can be sad a times. I just wonder why some ladies think they doing you a favour by being ur gf. its a symbiotic stuff, give and take. I guess its her loss. Wish you the very best with ur new gf

xp17: if u break a sweat, it means you are not using the right tool


btw, who does that in 2014?.

your grandfathers used to do it, why cant you?

ogawisdom:

Women r sometimes very difficult to understand. D bottomline is dt once u show too much interest in a gal she ll nt take u seriously again. Cancellin dates is jst a game sometimes designed to heightened d other person's interest but it doesn't work at times. Try to give them three chances n if they dnt honour appointments then u can back off. Sometimes u can cancel dates for no reason too, it makes u look cool at her eyes n less desperate.
Women r purely emotional beings n if u r nt hittin on her emotions she ll nt feel much for u. Stop taking dates wit gals too seriously, learn to forget it too. Blow hot n cold abt it. Read more abt attraction n chemistry

Actually, i dnt take women generally too seriously, especially when it comes to friendship and all. So, generally i put a lot of thought in, before asking any lady for a date.

I am just a principled person, i dnt think its cool to be inconsistent and unreliable. I either agree to a date, tell you NO straight up.... or tell you, let me chck for the date and get back to you (of which i always will).

Harbosede02: guess am good u??

I guess I'm good too . Good 2 know d NL 'crash' didn't affect U..

It's disrespectful to "forget" a date we planned out and not alerting me prior to her not being able to make it.
I don't tolerate that kind of disrespect to my time. That's just my personal boundary.
If we are going to do anything after that display of unreliability, she is going to have to re-initiate it herself. It's the adult thing to do.
If she is too "small-of-mind" to do that, then I have no use for such "shaky" females in my life as she clearly has either flawed judgement/expectations or isn't interested.