nedu2000: I know most parents talk about how their kids finish 1st in class then who's the child that finishes last!!
My uncle's 16-yr-old child is such a person,he's dad bribed his way into secondary after he failed common entrance,after repeating JS1 and JS 2 twice,his dad was called in by his school principal(govt school) to come and carry away his ward!!My uncle not knowing what to do,send my cousin down to Lagos to live with us and join my little brother in his school(they are both age-mates but my brother is in SS3).
In Lagos,he couldn't pass the qualifying exam to my broher's school so we had to make do with one of those secondary schools that don't arrange such exams. In school,the results didn't change 22nd/24 students after 3 attempts in the same class?haba.He also possesses criminal tendencies as he forged his last term results,he doesn't write notes claiming he's a slow writer and its a natural liar. His parents are confused.
Surely there are parents who's wards aren't(weren't) doing well academically,what's the way out?

blink182: TB Joshua can not help? God can not help? The impunity with which people like you insult God is appalling like He is just another human being. Have you been to the SCOAN or have empirical evidence that Joshua is a fraud? I am very sorry for you and the path you have chosen.

Now to the discussion. Who told you no one is born dull? I am rather shocked at the number of people who agree with you. It is like you live in this bubble created by your imagination. I have a friend that is dull actually I have friends but I will focus on this one guy because all his siblings I know are dull and unable to pass exams on their own. We were in the same primary school together, same class with me and his younger sister in the same class with my younger sister and my younger sister was in touch with even younger siblings that did poorly in class. Their dad was a full time politician and mum was a full time house wife. There was nothing their parents didn't do to help them learn. Even as a kid I could notice how hard their parents tried to help them learn. Their problem was not the inability to learn but the ability to retain what they had learnt. It cut across all spheres of their life where they had to learn then remember after some time. Now what do you say to that? My friend and most if not all his siblings are currently in the uk and really do not need to bother about making their own money like most of us.

That is just one case. I know a 16 year old girl who just wrote her primary 6 exam with little chance off passing, she has a cousin like her too-the cousin has actually stopped trying to be in school and her parents understand. This girl I know has a 12 year old sister under the same roof with her in JSS 2. Who do we blame in this case?

And what is this talk about using derogatory words. We are Africans not Europeans or Americans. That is what africans do to prevent a person doing the wrong thing to correct itself. Why do you think so many nairalanders bash and laugh at people when they are down when they should be giving encouragement? It is built into our psyche, that is how africans-true africans think. We do not pamper failure with the hope it will correct itself. When you fail this term and get flogged by your dad followed by mouth bashing from mum which often lasts a term and get reminded of your failure whenever you miss any house chore. Next term, you will struggle to out do yourself.

No wonder so many new parents are failures with raising up their kids.

We shouldn't deceive ourselves with vocational training, if the boy can't learn in class, he most likely can't learn anywhere. He doesn't seem like someone who wants to learn at all. I wonder how he got this way. Does he know how hard it is to survive in society when you have nothing to offer.

peppyluv02: Nice one, I couldn't have said it better. Are you a teacher or counselor?

@ nedu2000 maybe the boy is actually dyslexic; a learning disorder marked by a severe difficulty in recognizing and understanding written language,leading to spelling and writting problems.
It is not caused by low intelligence or brain damage.All the boy needs is special education and a counselor.

But if spelling and writting isn't his problem,then find out what he is good at just like other people have suggested and help him grow in it. We can't all be professionals you know....

uken73:

I was once such a student who was not doing well in my most early education years. In my Transition class I remember being locked up in class along with another student for not being able to come up with any English word that starts with the letter 'Y'. The other buy later repeated several classes and was known as the dumbest kid in school.

But to the shock of me and many others I got to be 12th in class in Primary 1 in the first term and 1st by 2nd and 3rd term. Primary 1 was the immediate class that followed Transition. Since then I'd been either 1st or 2nd. In JS1 I was 2nd in all 3 terms, but I began to be an average student and out of the 1st 10 positions from my JS2 when I got introduced by my parent to be friends with a non-serious cousin of mine. This was to help me stay in school (as I was mostly a loner and so bored of school). I picked up again when I changed school in my SS1 where I ended my SS3 as 2nd overall.

I never understood the sudden change in my academic performance in Primary 1 until I read the book "Gifted hands" by Dr Ben Carson. The author was the dumbest kid in class who became the best and later an acclaimed world best neurosurgeon. It was when I read how the mother of the Dr had prevented her two kids from playing, instead forced them to be going to read books in the library and provide reviews each day, then I recalled that my late father had done similar thing to us (with more focus on me, being that my only brother was doing well). I could remember how my father (a former maths teacher, then a banker) would have us locked in the house and given some homework to do on our own. I remember more of how he taught me how to study maths on my own using maths text book. He would make me learn to solve new maths problems on topics for the next term on my own and I must complete all the exercises that accompany the topics. He would show me how to solve the ones I couldn't solve when he comes back from work. It wasn't interesting at all as our friends would come to mock us through our house window. Each day we would study from about 8am that my parent leave for work till 12pm when my Aunt would come and unlock the door for us to join other kids to play. Mum (a teacher) would be back around 2pm and you have to go to bed around 3pm. My dad seriously frowned at playing football and till date I and my only brother don't play nor have interest in watching football.

In summary I would say such corrections are best at the early formative years of a child. That is when it is easiest to help a child develop the habits and attitude you want to see in them. It is best time to influence a child and get them to grow with that influence. This becomes increasingly difficult as the child grows older. With my experience I'm sure that a child can be influenced to improve in almost any area (academic or otherwise). But I'm not sure how effective such measures may be for a child who has gotten to his/her teens. The best way to know is to try but at this age you must be very careful of being overbearing on the child which can result in depression, attempt to run away from home and in worst case suicide attempt. A teenage is more intolerable of parents interference in their lives, so any efforts must be done with much caution and more especially with the consent of the child. I would seriously recommend the book "Gifted Hands" for the parent and the child. The child would see from there that his/her case is not hopeless and would likely be more willing and cooperative with the parent on the measures to be taken. He or she would understand very well that the parents are doing it for his/her own interest and would reduce the change of the child viewing it as punishment.

That's my submission. Wish you the best in this.

nedu2000: ur dad really tried,but to be sincere lemme wash a lil' dirty linen in public,the parents are to the largest degree response!!the dad is hated by the rest of household for being a womaniser,the wife is so lazy that when he was schooling in onitsha she all gave reasons why she doesn't 'ave time to attend her own son's open day,by the time he was thrown out this housewife never set foot into her child's school twas always the dad!!,when she came to collect the child after the latest setback,my mum really blasted her for her nonchalant attitude in terms of the boy's education. So to a larger degree,its the parents. But after an extended family meeting both parents 'ave decided to turn a new leaf in terms of focusing on d boys academics & future but I hope its not too late,he's 16

alphaomega:

if u av friends dt are so dull, wat shld we call u? Rememba: birds of a feather.....

If u say we shld think lyk TYPICAL TRUE AFRICANS, then tis most possible dt ur friend's politician father used the brain of all his children juju for his political ambition cos i dont c y there cldnt b even a 'judas' amongst d children.

If u use derogatory words instead of encouraging words, then i pity ur children (bore n yet to b) cos i can imagine d kind of pops u wil b....(Pops ke..i mean father).

Av u seen d movie 'like stars on earth'? Try go watch am. U r d typical father of d li2 kid in d movie.

And b4 u say dt only happen in movies, P.s: movies r representations of life on screen.

nedu2000: I sincerely wish ur comment had arrived earlier for everyone to see,however not all kids as well as adults thrive after receiving criticisms & corporal punishment sometimes the use of incentives can be an option

uboma: No one is a blockhead. And calling your Uncle's child one will not help matters at all. No matter what a child does, don't call him/her derogatory names or compare them with other children who may be doing better.

If you really want to help, you need to have a heart to heart chat with your Uncle's child. First, gain his trust, so he can open up to you. It could be that something went wrong during his formative years (6-10 years). Please answer these;

Did this child grow up with his biological parents or with a relative?

During his formative years, did his parents play an active role in his life? Did they play together as a family? Was the father/mother always around to LISTEN and talk to their child? During his early years in school (nursery to primary) were his parents interested in his school activities? Did they guide him with his homework? Did they find out from his teacher(s) the performance of their son? Or was it just the *enrol your child in school, pay his fees when due, buy school materials? Is this the cycle they followed?

I always tell parents that *children are what we make them*. Once you miss it during their formative years, then you've lost out big time. It is simply not enough to just send your child to school and leave them at the mercy of their teachers. Parents need to play an ACTIVE role in their child(ren)'s life.

And mind you, if you are sure that the parents played their role during his formative years, then the child may be better off learning a vocational skill. If having listened to this boy, and its obvious that he just doesn't like school, then find out his hobby or the skill he's interested in and build on that.

Look around the world today, not all the well to do men actually completed their schooling. But they have excelled in their chosen fields.

There's so much to say but time... I wish I could have a chat with your Uncle's child. Are they in Abuja?

NB.
Calling a child derogatory names only serves to worsen him, make him more reserve and won't bring out the best in him/her. No one was born a dullard. Please take note.

blink182: Yes but I ignored the thread at first until the almighty Uboma made a nonsense of God. God is no one's mate for anything and I won't keep quiet when someone who feels he is above Him tries to make a nonsense of my heavenly Father. I don't even tolerate people who insult my earthly father say more my heavenly Father.

uboma:


I believe in God, the Creator of Heavens and Earth and the living beings within. But please don't hold me to ransom for not believing in TB Joshua (whom I mentioned in my earlier post). The op said they are considering taking the child to him and I pointed out clearly that the so called Prophet can't help him. The boy's situation is not a hopeless one.

So if you are raging this way because I expressed my humble opinion that TB Joshua can't help him, then you better go hug a transformer because I will repeat it several times if I wish.

See how you have been brainwashed to the point that you now equate TB Joshua to God. Na wa oooooooooooo! So if someone tells you that he doesn't believe in your prophet, you will rain insults on him instead of proving logically from the Scriptures (which all Christians should guided by) that your prophet is for real...

blink182: True the boy's situation is not a hopeless one and he can be helped by God.

Lol, hug transformer? You have your views and I have mine. One advise I will give to you is to test TB Joshua. Take a trip to SCOAN and with all seriousness and sincerity in your heart, ask God to expose the man TB Joshua to you. Keep an open heart.

Brainwashed, seriously? Make no mistake please, Joshua is only a vessel. He is but a filthy rag in the presence of God and not an equal in anyway. Bro despite our contradicting view, you are still a smart person. Do not form the habit of condemning things you do not understand. Test them first to gain a sound premise from where you can draw a flawless conclusion with which you can create a rock solid opinion about a person and stick to it in the face of stiff opposition.

nedu2000: I know most parents talk about how their kids finish 1st in class then who's the child that finishes last!!
My uncle's 16-yr-old child is such a person,he's dad bribed his way into secondary after he failed common entrance,after repeating JS1 and JS 2 twice,his dad was called in by his school principal(govt school) to come and carry away his ward!!My uncle not knowing what to do,send my cousin down to Lagos to live with us and join my little brother in his school(they are both age-mates but my brother is in SS3).
In Lagos,he couldn't pass the qualifying exam to my broher's school so we had to make do with one of those secondary schools that don't arrange such exams. In school,the results didn't change 22nd/24 students after 3 attempts in the same class?haba.He also possesses criminal tendencies as he forged his last term results,he doesn't write notes claiming he's a slow writer and its a natural liar. His parents are confused.
Surely there are parents who's wards aren't(weren't) doing well academically,what's the way out?

Abbey2sam:

as far as I know, no child is a block head..........

try n read this book "rich kid smart kid" written by Robert kiyosaki

Fernandinho:

That book is good. My dad actually bought it for me. No be say i be olodo oooh

nedu2000: ur dad really tried,but to be sincere lemme wash a lil' dirty linen in public,the parents are to the largest degree response!!the dad is hated by the rest of household for being a womaniser,the wife is so lazy that when he was schooling in onitsha she all gave reasons why she doesn't 'ave time to attend her own son's open day,by the time he was thrown out this housewife never set foot into her child's school twas always the dad!!,when she came to collect the child after the latest setback,my mum really blasted her for her nonchalant attitude in terms of the boy's education. So to a larger degree,its the parents. But after an extended family meeting both parents 'ave decided to turn a new leaf in terms of focusing on d boys academics & future but I hope its not too late,he's 16

alutacontinua: It's not possible
that's why I perform IQ test on any guy that comes close to me

nedu2000: but u 'ave to admit its easier in life if ur at least educated,tuface is just a one-off

chimauk: heey,u dint have to bring his fada into dis.it shows u Dn't respect ur dad too.plss grow a dick nt stop acting girlish.its a social site dude.dnt quote me plsss cos I wnt see it.

Tucees: Word! Uboma hope you read this? Break out of that bubble you live in and face reality! Dull is in the dictionary for a purpose.

blink182: TB Joshua can not help? God can not help? The impunity with which people like you insult God is appalling like He is just another human being. Have you been to the SCOAN or have empirical evidence that Joshua is a fraud? I am very sorry for you and the path you have chosen.

Now to the discussion. Who told you no one is born dull? I am rather shocked at the number of people who agree with you. It is like you live in this bubble created by your imagination. I have a friend that is dull actually I have friends but I will focus on this one guy because all his siblings I know are dull and unable to pass exams on their own. We were in the same primary school together, same class with me and his younger sister in the same class with my younger sister and my younger sister was in touch with even younger siblings that did poorly in class. Their dad was a full time politician and mum was a full time house wife. There was nothing their parents didn't do to help them learn. Even as a kid I could notice how hard their parents tried to help them learn. Their problem was not the inability to learn but the ability to retain what they had learnt. It cut across all spheres of their life where they had to learn then remember after some time. Now what do you say to that? My friend and most if not all his siblings are currently in the uk and really do not need to bother about making their own money like most of us.

That is just one case. I know a 16 year old girl who just wrote her primary 6 exam with little chance off passing, she has a cousin like her too-the cousin has actually stopped trying to be in school and her parents understand. This girl I know has a 12 year old sister under the same roof with her in JSS 2. Who do we blame in this case?

And what is this talk about using derogatory words. We are Africans not Europeans or Americans. That is what africans do to prevent a person doing the wrong thing to correct itself. Why do you think so many nairalanders bash and laugh at people when they are down when they should be giving encouragement? It is built into our psyche, that is how africans-true africans think. We do not pamper failure with the hope it will correct itself. When you fail this term and get flogged by your dad followed by mouth bashing from mum which often lasts a term and get reminded of your failure whenever you miss any house chore. Next term, you will struggle to out do yourself.

No wonder so many new parents are failures with raising up their kids.

We shouldn't deceive ourselves with vocational training, if the boy can't learn in class, he most likely can't learn anywhere. He doesn't seem like someone who wants to learn at all. I wonder how he got this way. Does he know how hard it is to survive in society when you have nothing to offer.

uboma:


For emphasis sake, i will repeat that no one is born a dullard. A child may be slow in learning but that doesn't qualify him as a dullard. God created all of us in a marvelous ways and blessed each of us with UNIQUE traits/qualities. Child A may be good in writing and spelling while child B may just be good in painting/drawing. So calling one of God's children a dullard, you are implying that God didn't create him well...


From the examples cited above, can you REALLY tell the foundation of these children Of course NO. You did not live with them, hence, your judgment about them is POOR. In one of the examples, you pointed out that the father was a full time politician and the mother, a full time house wife. The father spending quality time with his children is therefore ruled out. Can you REALLY tell if the mother was always there for these children in terms of their school work, even though she is a full time housewife? You obviously have no facts, hence, keep quiet.

Saying that derogatory words are used and should be used by Africans to prevent a person from doing a wrong thing is FALLACY. I wonder why YOU, with your level of education so far, will reason this way... Calling someone derogatory names or even comparing him/her to his mates who may be doing better will not bring out the best in that child...

Another statement you made which really got me thinking as to your level of intellect and exposure is, *if a boy can't learn in class, he most likely can't learn anywhere...* I wonder where you got that from. There are countless renowned individuals today who didn't perform well in school, some had to drop out of school because of very poor performance. But these same individuals have made names for themselves in their chosen fields. Some of these men, you and i even make use of their products and services.

My point is, don't look down on anyone... If someone is slow in learning, please help him/her to discover their potentials if you can and if you can't, DON'T CALL THEM NAMES...

I hope you finally read the op's post where he pointed out that the child in question had a poor foundation...

blink182: I have no time for your likes, its a Monday morning please bounce.

uboma:

And you think i have your time Its funny how the truth hurts...

uboma:

Have you finally read the op's post about the poor foundation the little boy had while growing up? The parents had little or no time to show interest in his school work...

When you don't know jack about something, please keep quiet and learn from those who have had similar experiences instead of displaying your ignorance publicly...