cococandy: First thing you should finalize your divorce with you wife.
has the custody of your daughter been decided? You guys need to agree on that so that whoever you marry next won't have problems about that.
Close one chapter before opening the other.


True the girl is too young. All the goodness you're seeing may be as result of carried over master-servant mindset that she's been relating to you with. She's yet to discover herself,so how are you sure she's the ideal wife you've been longing for?
I fault you for taking the virginity of an 18yr old girl. What were you thinking?

Anyway the deed is done. If you want to marry her and if she and her family agrees,then sort things out with your first wife and move on with your life.

The age barrier can work in your favour because some women relate better with guys much older than them.
It can also work against you if you become too domineering and controlling.

simbaddsailor: When I asked my wife to come so that both our families will sit together and disolve the marriage, she refused and said I shuld go and meet her parents and collect back my bride price. I did go and her parents refunded back my back bride price.

cococandy: Then you're officially divorced.
What's she saying about the child?

cococandy: First thing you should finalize your divorce with you wife.
has the custody of your daughter been decided? You guys need to agree on that so that whoever you marry next won't have problems about that.
Close one chapter before opening the other.


True the girl is too young. All the goodness you're seeing may be as result of carried over master-servant mindset that she's been relating to you with. She's yet to discover herself,so how are you sure she's the ideal wife you've been longing for?
I fault you for taking the virginity of an 18yr old girl. What were you thinking?

Anyway the deed is done. If you want to marry her and if she and her family agrees,then sort things out with your first wife and move on with your life.

The age barrier can work in your favour because some women relate better with guys much older than them.
It can also work against you if you become too domineering and controlling.

Just know that if you marry her now,you'll also play the role of daddy in her life because her higher education will be on you.
Between now and when she grows into a full woman say 23-28yrs,you'll notice HUGE changes. She's still growing.

Just thread carefully.

cococandy: First thing you should finalize your divorce with you wife.
has the custody of your daughter been decided? You guys need to agree on that so that whoever you marry next won't have problems about that.
Close one chapter before opening the other.


True the girl is too young. All the goodness you're seeing may be as result of carried over master-servant mindset that she's been relating to you with. She's yet to discover herself,so how are you sure she's the ideal wife you've been longing for?
I fault you for taking the virginity of an 18yr old girl. What were you thinking?

Anyway the deed is done. If you want to marry her and if she and her family agrees,then sort things out with your first wife and move on with your life.

The age barrier can work in your favour because some women relate better with guys much older than them.
It can also work against you if you become too domineering and controlling.

Just know that if you marry her now,you'll also play the role of daddy in her life because her higher education will be on you.
Between now and when she grows into a full woman say 23-28yrs,you'll notice HUGE changes. She's still growing.

Just thread carefully.

SAMBARRY: Haaaaaa coco see you encouraging the man . first of all 40-18=22 years. Meaning the girl was born when he was 22 years.i can't even say he's like a big brother but a father to her.ahaaaannnn.not 5,8 or maximum maximum 10 years 22 freaking years ahaaaaaannnnn




op fear God na.slippers get size. Why take advantage of the girl because she's the only one around you. So because she's domesticated and takes care of your daughter =she's a good wife. She never show you her colour




agbaya ni e why you no go find 29 years-35 why a teenager? A secondary school pikin for that matter. It would have even been manageable if she was in the university like 25years.you no try.truth be told and as for you coco aka soyoyo I'll be back to your matter later

aisha2: Was the se-x consensual or did she feel intimidated into giving in as per her Boss

Have you spoken to her after that and addressed what happened? I am imagining how after taking away her virginity you guys will carry like business as usual

Does she feel the same way about you?

I am a little uncomfortable it would be different if you had a defined relationship, I am worried at the point when you had intercouse with her and what happened after. A girl of 18 hardly knows what she wants, some do, but what if in a few years she comes and says you manipulated her into the marriage or she grows up and realises you may not be what she wants?

Before talking with anyone talk with her first, dont get carried away she was doing her job, if at any time the relationship wanted to change it should be by mutual consent.

aisha2: Was the se-x consensual or did she feel intimidated into giving in as per her Boss

Have you spoken to her after that and addressed what happened? I am imagining how after taking away her virginity you guys will carry like business as usual

Does she feel the same way about you?

I am a little uncomfortable it would be different if you had a defined relationship, I am worried at the point when you had intercouse with her and what happened after. A girl of 18 hardly knows what she wants, some do, but what if in a few years she comes and says you manipulated her into the marriage or she grows up and realises you may not be what she wants?

Before talking with anyone talk with her first, dont get carried away she was doing her job, if at any time the relationship wanted to change it should be by mutual consent.

pickabeau1: Balanced advise.. you said it all though i still think its an error marrying such a young uneducated lady as he now has two kids in the home
He has to train the girl too or set her up
He may be back to where he started

cococandy: Yea the age barrier is much.
But we can't just rule it as something that will fail.
They have a chance to succeed.
I blame him for sleeping with her already when she's yet to cross the 18th line

But it's good he's not trying to use and discard her.
Once she's past 18,she's of age so she has the right to marry who she wishes to.

I admit the sweetness of the union lies in the fact that she's so pliant and malleable for him now.

Still they have a chance to suceed.

simbaddsailor: Yes it waz consensual, I never forced her, we talked abt it and planned for it. Before them, she told me she had a boy had sex with her once because she knew I waz avoiding having sex with, whe I finally had sex wit her, I discovered it waz nt true. She apologized and said she does not want me to forget about her. There waz a mutual understanding and agreement in everythin we do. She has never for once felt guilty or that I am exploiting her. Its just like wen you have a gal friend and two of us are getting on very well.

simbaddsailor: Yes it waz consensual, I never forced her, we talked abt it and planned for it. Before them, she told me she had a boy had sex with her once because she knew I waz avoiding having sex with, whe I finally had sex wit her, I discovered it waz nt true. She apologized and said she does not want me to forget about her. There waz a mutual understanding and agreement in everythin we do. She has never for once felt guilty or that I am exploiting her. Its just like wen you have a gal friend and two of us are getting on very well.

SAMBARRY: A 17 plus girl hasn't yet started her life.shr still be pikin na.is cooking, cleaning aand taking care of a child all there is to marriage or being a wife?



That's so unreasonable. She hasn't even gotten into the university. I bet if she gets there and her eyes open she'll start to realise the man took advantage of her vulnerability. How can a girl even help you and the next thing you are bedding her. Na so matured women scarce reach



smh.no self control of any sort. That's looseness na.hiaannn

SAMBARRY: A 17 plus girl hasn't yet started her life.shr still be pikin na.is cooking, cleaning aand taking care of a child all there is to marriage or being a wife?



That's so unreasonable. She hasn't even gotten into the university. I bet if she gets there and her eyes open she'll start to realise the man took advantage of her vulnerability. How can a girl even help you and the next thing you are bedding her. Na so matured women scarce reach



smh.no self control of any sort. That's looseness na.hiaannn

cococandy: Yea.
Higher education can give her a whole new perspective.
If he's not careful he'll have the i-trained-you-and-you-are-now-growing-feathers situation on his hands in the near future.

I hope he knows what he's doing.
And I pray he doesn't try to restrict her growth to suit his taste.

It's not even only the OP that needs advice in this case.
The girl needs tons of it.

aisha2:

Okay, but remember the girl as a maid and as a wife are two different people. She seems to want you too from what you have said, talk with her is marriage is what she wants then see her parents and talk with yours, Lots of ladies marry early, keep their homes and careers, Kanu married his wife while she was 18 and they are still happy to date, same with Omotola.

However, I hope you love her beyond cooking and cleaning because when you marry her taste will change and standard will upgrade, I also hope she is not using you as a stepping stone and "Prince Charming" to rescue her from all her problems.

That being said Love and Life is a risk, you are both consenting adults, if you both are happy then I wish you both the best

aisha2:

There is no one size fits all to these issues, some marry early and the marriage succeeds, some marry and it fails, some marry late and well exposed and the marriage fails
The important thing is that both ADULTs are aware of their actions and its consequence

Archildao: @ op going from your previous threads i dnt know wether to beleive you or not.Please try to be consistent with your threads cos there is no uniformity.Today your mother is maltreating you,tommorow you are in love with your maid.Hian!