whyalwaysme: Dear Nairalanders,
I write this with a very heavy heart because there's not very much that is interesting to me anymore.
I am a professional in the real estate business and I am married with 2 very healthy young children.
I have worked for about 7years before I decided to work for myself. Armed with my experience, determination and a strong belief in God I went to work.but alas it has been disappointments all the way.
Right from the very start I was cheated of over N2million in one of my 1st transactions and the money was meant to be a huge support for my business and fall back for my family.
I devised a very good business plan before I branched out on my own but I have this nagging issue of disappointments.
I set up a transaction and everything goes smoothly until when it is about to conclude everything falls apart. This has happened several times and my wife who works in a financial institutions and has been very supporting kept telling me to relax that all will be well.
Friends, at times it gets so rough that we cant even eat and she will have to borrow or go to her sister's house to get foodstuff.
I pay my tithes and I pray and fast but the disappointments keep coming.
Recently my wife brought a transaction to me which would assisted in paying off some debts. I got a property which they inspected and and loved. They wanted to pay but my colleague who represents the onwer delayed getting the title documents until he had to travel out of the country for a week.
Just yesterday he told me that before he got back the owner had sold the property. I still tried to get an alternative but every other thing was way above budget.
I was so sad because it was a sure banker deal but it crashed just like many others sure bankers before it.
When I got home there was no food to eat in the house.my rent is overdue and my kids do not go to school anymore because i cant pay their fees anymore.
I called my wife to talk to her because she was demoralized that there was nothing in the house and before I could start to say a word my own pillar of support told me that I should look for something else to do that my business is not working. That it is like a basket that im pouring water into. I was so sad because she wasn't far from the truth. She was tired of stories.
Now I am almost convinced that there is a very strong force blocking my success. My parents are loners . Never keeping much company and retired from civil service and I cannot imagine who can be after my success.
I have cried to God so many times to pity me and at least for my kids sake open doors for me but each time I get disappointments.
Now I begin to ask. Have I been wasting my time? I love my profession I studied it in school and I have seen people become very successful and I believed that I can be too.but the disappointments are just too much. What joy does a man have when you put in honest labour and yet cannot provide for your family?
I have been tempted to sell my soul to the devil just to make my family comfortable but faith that God will turn things around kept me. Now I ask having been praying to my imagination? My own wife has lost confidence in my ability to provide.
I have asked God so many times but I have not even seen a sign. This has affected me that I have started indulging in habits which are not healthy and depression is setting in.
Why is God not answering? If I have a child and I do not provide for the child despite several pleas and the child steals to survive do I have any moral right to castigate him or her?
It is said no one knows tomorrow, how do I now know that tomorrow will be better? What happens if 5years from now im still chasing my tail?
I put in a lot of diligence and professionalism in my work but I feel there is strong outside influence derailing my success.
Please if there is any advice other than to pray please let me have it
Do not ask me to pray because I have prayed and I have been prayed for but I am faced with something bigger which i cannot see.
I need to know what I am up against because you cannot fight an enemy you dont know.
Please help.
Thanks

egopersonified: Op, I read your posts with a heavy heart. I dont really know what to say but to tell you to hold on, things would hopefully change for the better. I can even hear the pain in your heart, wish I could be of help. Try talking this over with your parents too as you have done here. Be careful the kind of churches you take counsel from so as not to fall into bigger troubles. U can also get a job and do your business on the side.considering the story of Hannah in the bible, try to be cheerful when you have prayed, dont go thinking this deal would definately go down the drain like others. Pls talk to your wife softly about giving you time to get on your feet and your need for her to keep believing in you for you to believe in yourself, tell her you need her more than ever now and that you see her as your pillar and ray of hope. I dont know if I have made any sense at all but maybe others can help you out. Coogar, tallesty, pickabeau1, aisha2, soulglo, sambarry, cococandy, chaircover, davidif, 5minsmadness, idowuogbo, babyosisi, RoyalRoy, nashville, crackhaus, bukatyne, xynerise, blockus, efemenaXY, bennyrazz, greatgod2012, godmystrength, and others please your advice is needed here.

**Me?! **



Have you ever seen me give good advice before?!

Blockus:



**Me?! **



Have you ever seen me give good advice before?!

Blockus:



**Me?! **



Have you ever seen me give good advice before?!

Nashville: Young man,

Life itself is a struggle and you need to keep on moving. Some of the most successful people you see today have had more disappointments than you; but the reason why they are so successful is that they never stop trying. Thomas Edison who invented the light bulb tried almost two hundred times before finally succeeding. Abraham Lincoln who is hailed as probably the best US President ever, lost close to thirty elections before becoming president. So you know what? You are not alone in failed attempts - but that does not mean you are a failure.

There is no strong force behind your failure. It probably just means there is something about that business you have not figured out. You may think your business plan is great, but I will advice you to show a trusted friend or relative about it and let them critic it for you. You may not even understand all the risks involved and that is why you have been failing in the business. Something is missing and you need help. There are a few options here for you.

1. Go back to paid employment - you were doing well and this is a sure guarantee of steady income. It may also give you more time to learn about the business and its operating environment so that you are better able to assess the risk involved. It is not necessarily giving up, its just like going back to learn more and besides you have bills to pay.

2. Form a partnership with someone else. This may seem like you are giving out your idea, but often times, one man is never an island. We all need help even in running our own businesses and you may find someone that will compliment your strengths. So he may be strong in the areas where you are weak. Nobody is Mr. Know-it-all and I think that may be your greatest problem. You might not know you need help but you do. So bringing someone else into that business as a partner may open new doors for you and also help you see some knew dimensions you have not thought of.

3. Get coaching and mentors. Building successful businesses is not always very easy. You need to talk to people who have been there before and learn from them. Let them tell you about the things you should watch out for. No business plan is perfect and you are already finding out now. Get experienced people to work with you and help you.

4. Don't give up on your dreams. This is the truth. If you feel you have a product to offer, then pursue it; but pursue it with sense. Give yourself time and do not rush. Doing business can be tough in Nigeria and you must ensure your family has enough to eat before venturing into it. Don't blame God or your wife. Your wife has been perfectly understanding and you need to thank her for that. You need to work on yourself and make sure you are well equipped to be an entreprenuer.

MarvellousGod: Most successful people failed many times before they succeeded....keep striving and praying. .all these are stories you will tell one day, success isn't easy....also, check yourself, are you doing things right? You said a colleague that was supposed to submit some documents to finalise your deal delayed hence you lost the contract, did you try all possible ways to make sure he did submit the documents early but failed? Or you folded your hands allowing him to delay? ? Do you manage things well?

You can also try out another business just as your wife suggested..Goodluck to you, don't just give up...life isn't easy....

whyalwaysme: Anybody can be duped. How u follow it is what matters. My former boss lost N5m in a transaction after 15yrs in the field. It is a question of integrity. Some people you have respect for and expect to act as gentlemen become rascals when it gets to money matters.
Get a job? Okay. Has to be in line with my field.
Has to be well paying too. I cannot commit my experience and efforts to recieve peanuts besides what I will do for them is what I do for myself everyday. Why is mine not working.
I really dont think it is with planning. The first I ventured into private practice was rough I went back and planned my exit well. Got my company registered and built a good communications network for briefs and the kept coming.
It may not be outside influence, it may be internal.
I want to identify the weed and uproot it.
But honestly i did plenty of homework before setting up my firm. If I did not I would be complaining of lack of jobs.but its different.
Its like having a supermarket in a good location people come in, sample your goods and walk out. A few people buy maybe biscuits once in a while you have to pay rent electricity and other.
bills. Is it now wise gor me to close shop and work as a salesman for another shop? Or to find out what is making my customers not pay.

Eddlad: Let it be some sort of relief that, I had similar problems and am sure the majority of hard honest working populace do.

My people say that "let the birds have their take,it's what's left that we protect",so dust yourself up and look ahead.

The notion that you are somewhat being influenced is a major hurdle you have to overcome.Do.this by having several REALISTIC alternatives.I have had up to 5 backup plans all foiled in instance but I have learnt to take things in strides and hopefully would you someday.

Start with cheap grade A China phones.Find a bulk seller and agree on terms to buy some weekly then find someone who.sells original phones and propose to sell your wares along his in a small container for a fee weekly or daily.Find other individuals and do same and alternate shops selling your wares and cashing in.

It's rough and tough and your have to have some thick skin especially since you have come into money before.
I wish you success and pls learn to accommodate the disappointment with some pessimism.

Eddlad