ahnie: only she can help herself.seems she z very weak in the mind...judging from the (FIR) by the op.

Indeed, she's already weak in mind and clearly, her self-esteem would have been shattered due to the constant maltreatment...this is why helping herself alone won't suffice.
She would have to involve other people who can support and encourage her, family and friends possibly.

But first she needs to realize that there's a problem,

This story...

I dunno o....

If he refused her pumping water into the house, is he not going to stay in the same house? Doesn't that mean he isn't going to have water to bath too and is in essence punishing himself as well?

Also what man will drive a woman and the leave 4kids who are little(from your explanation, the oldest child should be 12?) to take care of by himself? No be more work for him be dat? Once again won't he have to bath them?

And if she is so weak minded how come she stubbornly came to borrow your gen?


This your story doesn't sound true to me o,

Or if its true you are not saying everything but painting it in such a way that we pity your 'confidant'

Just my thoughts sha.

Tallesty1: The reason he sent her packing is unknown.

This was what she said, but I believe he just laid a trap for her and came up with the flimsy excuse

Culture does not allow women fight for their kids, you either stay and endure or you leave and forget them.
You talk like you are not Nigerian
It sucks to be a woman in Nigeria then, in my next life am most Definitely going to be a man.

3cycle:
Culture does not allow women fight for their kids, you either stay and endure or you leave and forget them.
You talk like you are not Nigerian

it sucks to be a woman I Nigeria then, in my next life am most definitely going to be a man.

3cycle:
Savings Hmmm she doesn't save a dime!
She told me she returns his change anytime she buys anything and the money remains.
She is a good wife but in an annoying way.
Who returns change in this age and time?

Docile naija wifey

5minsmadness: This story...

I dunno o....

If he refused her pumping water into the house, is he not going to stay in the same house? Doesn't that mean he isn't going to have water to bath too and is in essence punishing himself as well?

Also what man will drive a woman and the leave 4kids who are little(from your explanation, the oldest child should be 12?) to take care of by himself? No be more work for him be dat? Once again won't he have to bath them?

And if she is so weak minded how come she stubbornly came to borrow your gen?


This your story doesn't sound true to me o,

Or if its true you are not saying everything but painting it in such a way that we pity your 'confidant'

Just my thoughts sha.

His apprentice lives with him (nwa boyi) and takes the responsibility of making his oga cmfortable. His apprentice could buy water for him to use. A bucket of water is 20naira

Secondly he Has a LIVE IN HOUSeHELP and the son is not little because he is in secondary school (JS2) the last two are 5 and 6yrs old and the help can take care of them

And lastly she stubbornly came to ask for my gen cos she needs water to cook for her children and to bath too.

smokescreen4: it sucks to be a woman I Nigeria then, in my next life am most definitely going to be a man.

Me too

3cycle:
This was what she said, but I believe he just laid a trap for her and came up with the flimsy excuse

verily verily sister..i tell you,the man must be eyeing one pussycat outside.

3cycle:
This was what she said, but I believe he just laid a trap for her and came up with the flimsy excuse

It is either he's been looking for an excuse to drop her or he is tired of complaining.

3cycle: What actually turns a man into a demon?
How can a human being be filled with wickedness and hatred for his own wife bikonu?

He complains all the time, never knew men nag until I met the demon married to my next door neighbour.
He practically sent her packing yesterday and never to return to his house because he wanted her to stay without bathing for 2days but she did.
How can a woman stay without having a shower or bathing 4 of her kids
He is practically asking them to go hungry too because she needs water to also cook.

The water in the tank finished earlier, against the supposed 1week it is meant to last before he pumps another water that will last for another week. So according to him, her punishment for mismanaging water was to stay without water for the remaining 2days that completes a week.

Well wifey stubbornly asked for my gen, pumped water. I travelled and came back today only to be told that he sent her packing for disobeying him.I called her and she kept asking me to beg her husband so she can return atleast for her children sakes but deep down inside of me I don't want her to return.
Enough of his wickednes and maltreatment towards that lady. I don't want to meddle in their affairs and I pray he never knows peace.
I don't knw what to do to help my confidant who is in a dilemma

marriage is for Berra for warrse

ahnie: verily verily sister..i tell you,the man must be eyeing one pussycat outside.

The eediot is very ugly
I want to believe he used jazz when he proposed marriage to the woman because no lady in her right senses will say yes to that ape

smokescreen4:
Culture does not allow women fight for their kids, you either stay and endure or you leave and forget them.
You talk like you are not Nigerian
It sucks to be a woman in Nigeria then, in my next life am most Definitely going to be a man.

There's nurrin like next life.that z the painful reality.

3cycle:
His apprentice lives with him (nwa boyi) and takes the responsibility of making his oga cmfortable. His apprentice could buy water for him to use. A bucket of water is 20naira

Secondly he Has a LIVE IN HOUSeHELP and the son is not little because he is in secondary school (JS2) the last two are 5 and 6yrs old and the help can take care of them

And lastly she stubbornly came to ask for my gen cos she needs water to cook for her children and to bath too.

OK so now we have two new characters. The apprentice and the house help. Are you saying he wasn't going to let them have their bath as well? What would have been the logic, that he's punishing them too cos of what wife did?

Also wouldn't he have to eat too? And drink water too? He would have drank water while his wife and kids died of thirst?

Do you honestly believe he would have sent his boy to buy N20 bucket of water when he can easily pump his own?

So he punished the ENTIRE household because his wife used up all the water?

Hmn...

3cycle:
The eediot is very ugly
I want to believe he used jazz when he proposed marriage to the woman
because no lady in her right senses will say yes to that ape

Judge Not...Beauty is in the eyes of the DeCoder.

5minsmadness:

OK so now we have two new characters. The apprentice and the house help. Are you saying he wasn't going to let them have their bath as well? What would have been the logic, that he's punishing them too cos of what wife did?

Also wouldn't he have to eat too? And drink water too? He would have drank water while his wife and kids died of thirst?

Do you honestly believe he would have sent his boy to buy N20 bucket of water when he can easily pump his own?

So he punished the ENTIRE household because his wife used up all the water?

Hmn...

I don't want to say you are daft but honestly you sound like one.
A man like that will punish anybody just to get to his wife.
I live in ths same compound with him, if not that I have a big container I store water in, his plan was that all of us(my self inclusive) will stay without water.
What will I gain if I cook up lies? Will u pay me? Shift abeg

OK.
I'm not the man's lawyer or anything.
But...
I believe in balance.
I believe in CAUSE and EFFECT


Could it be that the man's wife is very stubborn?

Could it be that he nags(thank god you didn't say beat) his wife all the time because she likes doing things her own way without listening to him?

Could it be that the reason he has been threatening to divorce her despite having 4kids(boys and girls) for him is because of her stubbornness?

Could it be that he has warned her several times not to overuse the water, that fuel is costly and she should be economical but she repeatedly refuses to listen?

And then after this last episode the man got angry and in a bid to reprimand her he told her he won't pump water for 2days out of anger? And then walked out of the house?(because if he was still in the house she wouldn't have stubbornly come to collect gen from you and pump water successfully)

People who don't bath after a day smell horribly. Also like you said they need water for cooking and feeding. And there are kids involved. I don't think he meant to enforce the punishment. Could it be he said so in the heat of anger, walked out to calm himself knowing fully well he wouldn't carry out his threat, only to return a few hours later to see that wife had stubbornly challenged him once again? And this now led to his driving her out of the house in a fit of rage?

You see how many 'could it be's? can enter this story of yours, thus making it not so one sided?

3cycle:
I don't want to say you are daft but honestly you sound like one.
A man like that will punish anybody just to get to his wife.
I live in ths same compound with him, if not that I have a big container I store water in, his plan was that all of us(my self inclusive) will stay without water.
What will I gain if I cook up lies? Will u pay me? Shift abeg

And this is the thing with ladies.
Two posts gone and the insults start flying.
I didn't mean to say you were lying, I was just thinking the story was a bit one sided.
Men don't spontaneously turn into demons.
There is always a CAUSE which brings about an EFFECT.



And sorry oh, but if you stay in the same compound with him and his decision affects you like you said, what stopped the wife from saying YOU pumped the water? In fact, what stops you from pumping the water yourself? Would he drive you out too if you did?

Hmmmn. OK sha.

No doubt this is wickedness but the hidden problem here is the woman is like a burden him. He feels she can't bring money for the family n can't learn to manage resources. Women need to be empowered. A full housewife is a turn off for me. Damn! Some ladies no dey try.

5minsmadness:



And sorry oh, but if you stay in the same compound with him and his decision affects you like you said, what stopped the wife from saying YOU pumped the water? In fact, what stops you from pumping the water yourself? Would he drive you out too if you did?

Hmmmn. OK sha.

Well I can't pump water from my house because the tanks/sumo is not connected to my house.
I'm done replying you

5minsmadness please speak for yourself, we are not babies we see these things happen all the time, dat man don get babe outside e no dey think straight he just need time to play well dats why he drove her, cause and effect my foot.

texanomaly:

You said culture. Does the law say the same thing?

Culture is supposed to be the bedrock of the law

3cycle:
Well I can't pump water from my house because the tanks/sumo is not connected to my house.
I'm done replying you

Its OK if you don't reply me.
But this your last post raised more questions.

If the tanks/sumo are not connected to your house, how is it you said

His plan was that all of us(my self inclusive) will stay without water

How would it have affected you if the tanks were not connected to your house.?

OK,maybe you meant the circuit for the pump wasn't connected to your house. But then you still use the water. And you are a paying tenant (hopefully). Why didn't you simply carry your gen to the circuit and pump the water instead of the wife doing it? Why put herself into so much trouble if a tenant could easily do it and claim he wants water for himself? Would he drive the paying g tenant out of the house? You see why the story looks somehow to me?

Obviously the man doesn't want her a long time and he just found the perfect opportunity to use (disobedience) to send her out so I don't understand why she should stay in a marriage where the husband doesn't want you again and most likely has someone else lurking around the corner so I think her priority shouldn't be staying in a dead marriage but how to get the kids and call his bluff abi them born 2 of them together. She nor get job ni




mshewwwww




I wonder when we will start hearing good news about marriages in this nl sef.i don taya for all this stories that touch

5minsmadness:
Its OK if you don't reply me.
But this your last post raised more questions.

If the tanks/sumo are not connected to your house, how is it you said

How would it have affected you if the tanks were not connected to your house.?

OK,maybe you meant the circuit for the pump wasn't connected to your house. But then you still use the water. And you are a paying tenant (hopefully). Why didn't you simply carry your gen to the circuit and pump the water instead of the wife doing it? Why put herself into so much trouble if a tenant could easily do it and claim he wants water for himself? Would he drive the paying g tenant out of the house? You see why the story looks somehow to me?

Am lost what are you trying to say?

smokescreen4: 5minsmadness please speak for yourself, we are not babies we see these things happen all the time, dat man don get babe outside e no dey think straight he just need time to play well dats why he drove her, cause and effect my foot.

Did you see the babe?
Did op even hint he was cheating?
I thought you girls just surmised that he's ugly as an ape, now he has a babe following him?

What was the purpose of this thread? To start another rant against men?

This is family section for goodness sake! Its a place where people are supposed to come for help concerning family issues, not a male-bashing or pity-party place! If you ladies are so adamant about airing your views against men you can ask seun to create an 'the evils of men' section.

A girl comes online and starts a thread with how men become demons and all the ladies are like "Yes! Men are eeeeevilll!" Yet you won't leave men alone! And all males that agree with you without question are tagged 'mature'. Its sickening!

macof:

Culture is supposed to be the bedrock of the law

I didn't ask what culture says the law is "supposed" to be. I asked what the law actually is.

@op owning to d fact dat dis man traind her in school,I think he's been enjoyin all round submission from her and any deviation from wat he is used to is simply tagged sturburness or rebellion.

I think d lady is now realizing that she has been in a cage and wants to revolt. So sorry darl its too too late.

The man will definately com for her cos she is his investment and he is using dis means to intimidate her the more. And u know wat? When she comes back she will be more submissive.

Its just a pity dat she can't do any thing about it now cos it has gone on for a very long time. Bt if she wants to revolt and be free, she would have to be a divorcee. May God help her

3cycle:
Culture does not allow women fight for their kids, you either stay and endure or you leave and forget them.
You talk like you are not Nigerian

Wrong. People fight for, and actually get custody of their kids in naija. Gone are the days of blind endurance.

I don't care if the woman is heady but it takes only a swine.a filthy pig for that matter to tell another person not to bath for 2days ahannnnn


he is supposed to feel uncomfortable that anybody around him didn't bath and you are ok with your wife not bathing for 2days




I don't need anyone to tell me that dude is dirty as fok




Assuming he even wanted to punish his wife and say no cooking and eating for two days that's still reasonable but not bathing for 2days. Hiannnn I won't be surprised if he doesn't bath for one week and wear boxers that sweat mixed with semen has dried inside.tufiaaaaaa



I can't even go anywhere or do anything if I don't bath in the morning and then coming back from work bath again in the evening





after now na their type go dey day my wife's pooshie is smelling or her armpit stinks




some people dey try o.their bedroom go dey smell pass mortuary when them dey use water do bathing strike. Iyama

5minsmadness: OK.
I'm not the man's lawyer or anything.
But...
I believe in balance.
I believe in CAUSE and EFFECT


Could it be that the man's wife is very stubborn?

Could it be that he nags(thank god you didn't say beat) his wife all the time because she likes doing things her own way without listening to him?

Could it be that the reason he has been threatening to divorce her despite having 4kids(boys and girls) for him is because of her stubbornness?

Could it be that he has warned her several times not to overuse the water, that fuel is costly and she should be economical but she repeatedly refuses to listen?

And then after this last episode the man got angry and in a bid to reprimand her he told her he won't pump water for 2days out of anger? And then walked out of the house?(because if he was still in the house she wouldn't have stubbornly come to collect gen from you and pump water successfully)

People who don't bath after a day smell horribly. Also like you said they need water for cooking and feeding. And there are kids involved. Could it be he said so in the heat of anger, walked out to calm himself knowing fully well he wouldn't carry out his threat, only to return a few hours later to see that wife had stubbornly challenged him once again? And this now led to his driving her out of the house in a fit of rage?

You see how many 'could it be's? can enter this story of yours, thus making it not so one sided?

What are you guys expecting her to do?
Fight with the man over his own house?

3cycle:
Am lost what are you trying to say?

Calm down.
I said if the tanks are not connected to your house then there is no way lack of water in their house would have affected you. So that your statement of him wanting all of you(yourself included) to go without water was not correct.




My second statement was that if you meant to say the switch was not connected to your house then your landlords wife could have simply carried your gen like she did and pump the water BUT claim that you were the one that pumped it for your own use. He definitely wouldn't object to a paying tenant pumping water for her use. That would have saved her all the trouble of clashing with her husband. Unless she's the very stubborn type. Which takes me back to the first scenario that the reason for all of this is the woman's stubbornness and uncooperativeness.