3cycle:
Savings Hmmm she doesn't save a dime!
She told me she returns his change anytime she buys anything and the money remains.
She is a good wife but in an annoying way.
Who returns change in this age and time?

aisha2:

Just remember society and family wont be there when you are soaking your pillow each night with tears from being married but living like a widow.
No one can change anyone, people change only when they decide too, each is responsible for their action.
Dont make silly decisions and blame it on society. Thats my advice for single sisters ohhhhh

Ishilove:
Which useless culture?

3cycle:
Well you won't believe it if I tell you that the man travels to china often for business, so it has nothing to do with poverty.

aisha2: Its easy to blame men for all our woes when we women enable it.

While dating you see it all. Women who will feel superior to other babes because they are the "main chicks" and others are the "side chicks" forgetting that they are all equall sharing the same pen-is, meanwhile her defination of main chick is that he has unprotected se-x with her and protected se-x with others such foolishness.

You see them desperately fighting and working to just become Mrs even when the husband is obviously not a husband material. I married "late" by Nigerian standards so yes I have seen plenty, when at 29 I refused a proposal because the man cheated you would think I murdered someone, I was declared doomed to be forever single, I was advised to look the other way, all men are like that I would never find a husband bla bla bla. Me with my stuborn head I no gree, I said better I be single than married and misearble not knowing where my husbands peni-s will be resting daily. The man obviously used to dealing with the mentality of some women was even saying " ehnn, even if I have my weakness shouldnt you pray for me instead?". I simply reminded him that I wasnt his mother and I wanted to marry a sane responisble adult not an over grown baby

When women stop marrying silly men they will adjust but as long as women continue accepting any and everything and count themselves "lucky" to be married to a man who is obviously not ready mentally to be married we will keep seeing stroies that touch

3cycle:
A mother usually puts her children into consideration before herself. Sad

3cycle:
Savings Hmmm she doesn't save a dime!
She told me she returns his change anytime she buys anything and the money remains.
She is a good wife but in an annoying way.
Who returns change in this age and time?

Sophyrocks:

Gbam! Society and I are in opposite direction. As you see me so, I rock my world. Society cannot dictate rubbish to me. I'm an adult for God's sake. It takes a really stubborn woman with self esteem to stick to what she wants and get it. thats the ish.

5minsmadness: OK.
I'm not the man's lawyer or anything.
But...
I believe in balance.
I believe in CAUSE and EFFECT


Could it be that the man's wife is very stubborn?

Could it be that he nags(thank god you didn't say beat) his wife all the time because she likes doing things her own way without listening to him?

Could it be that the reason he has been threatening to divorce her despite having 4kids(boys and girls) for him is because of her stubbornness?

Could it be that he has warned her several times not to overuse the water, that fuel is costly and she should be economical but she repeatedly refuses to listen?

And then after this last episode the man got angry and in a bid to reprimand her he told her he won't pump water for 2days out of anger? And then walked out of the house?(because if he was still in the house she wouldn't have stubbornly come to collect gen from you and pump water successfully)

People who don't bath after a day smell horribly. Also like you said they need water for cooking and feeding. And there are kids involved. Could it be he said so in the heat of anger, walked out to calm himself knowing fully well he wouldn't carry out his threat, only to return a few hours later to see that wife had stubbornly challenged him once again? And this now led to his driving her out of the house in a fit of rage?

You see how many 'could it be's? can enter this story of yours, thus making it not so one sided?

crackhaus:
@emboldened...was someone making you question your maturity before?

Sophyrocks:

Nope. I said so because i'm trying to emphasize on why every one of us have choices to make based on what makes us happy or whatever suits us and not by what the society dictates. ,when making decisions as regards marriage, do you know that many people forget they are adults?

crackhaus:
The intense feelings and emotions experienced by some people who're so in love with each other can make them forget they're adults.

Okay that was way off-point, I was just teasing you with that question though...

Sophyrocks:

cococandy: Haha. I know. I was saying from a woman's POV.

5minsmadness: OK.
I'm not the man's lawyer or anything.
But...
I believe in balance.
I believe in CAUSE and EFFECT


Could it be that the man's wife is very stubborn?

Could it be that he nags(thank god you didn't say beat) his wife all the time because she likes doing things her own way without listening to him?

Could it be that the reason he has been threatening to divorce her despite having 4kids(boys and girls) for him is because of her stubbornness?

Could it be that he has warned her several times not to overuse the water, that fuel is costly and she should be economical but she repeatedly refuses to listen?

And then after this last episode the man got angry and in a bid to reprimand her he told her he won't pump water for 2days out of anger? And then walked out of the house?(because if he was still in the house she wouldn't have stubbornly come to collect gen from you and pump water successfully)

People who don't bath after a day smell horribly. Also like you said they need water for cooking and feeding. And there are kids involved. Could it be he said so in the heat of anger, walked out to calm himself knowing fully well he wouldn't carry out his threat, only to return a few hours later to see that wife had stubbornly challenged him once again? And this now led to his driving her out of the house in a fit of rage?

You see how many 'could it be's? can enter this story of yours, thus making it not so one sided?

Sophyrocks:

Gbam! Society and I are in opposite direction. As you see me so, I rock my world. Society cannot dictate rubbish to me. I'm an adult for God's sake. It takes a really stubborn woman with self esteem to stick to what she wants and get it. thats the ish.

SAMBARRY: I feel you o jare

aisha2: Its easy to blame men for all our woes when we women enable it.

While dating you see it all. Women who will feel superior to other babes because they are the "main chicks" and others are the "side chicks" forgetting that they are all equall sharing the same pen-is, meanwhile her defination of main chick is that he has unprotected se-x with her and protected se-x with others such foolishness.

You see them desperately fighting and working to just become Mrs even when the husband is obviously not a husband material. I married "late" by Nigerian standards so yes I have seen plenty, when at 29 I refused a proposal because the man cheated you would think I murdered someone, I was declared doomed to be forever single, I was advised to look the other way, all men are like that I would never find a husband bla bla bla. Me with my stuborn head I no gree, I said better I be single than married and misearble not knowing where my husbands peni-s will be resting daily. The man obviously used to dealing with the mentality of some women was even saying " ehnn, even if I have my weakness shouldnt you pray for me instead?". I simply reminded him that I wasnt his mother and I wanted to marry a sane responisble adult not an over grown baby

When women stop marrying silly men they will adjust but as long as women continue accepting any and everything and count themselves "lucky" to be married to a man who is obviously not ready mentally to be married we will keep seeing stroies that touch

PassingShot:

This is really annoying to read!

Even with all your "could it be's", no sane man should have to humiliate his wife that way. You don't even have to treat your house help like that. It's a sign of weakness on the part of the man.

5minsmadness:
Some women can drive men to do bizzaire and insane things. It has been happening since the dawn of time.



Also I'm curious to know how its a sign of weakness. And what would be a sign of strength? I'm asking from a purely curious standpoint.

Sophyrocks: I am sooo disgusted by some comments here. Chai!! Men of the same kind will always defend themselves. I am not surprised that the issue would be dragged on to blame the woman as usual. Barbaric caveman mindset!! Really, ladies must do well to avoid men with poverty of the mind walai! Men who behave like this are those who have been so poverty stricken for soooo many years such that they become sadists!! And when they manage to get lucky to hit riches, their barbarism increases by 100. No wonder ladies avoid poor men. The many years of poverty and suffering does no good to the thought process of a human.

Nigerian women, i fear for you all. The kind of mind and heart some men have developed to treat their wives with such disdain seems to me like they have harbored an inherrent and accumulated hatred for women in general. because i can't seem to understand where such women are meeting such cave men. Where do you women meet these kind of men? from the jungle or what?

SAMBARRY: sign of weakness means he's not man enough to be a man.EOD!


mods come and lock this thread. Some of the post I am reading here is unbelievable. I can't believe some supposed human beings will stoop so low to type insane and inconsiderate things

aisha2: Let me first offer some insight on the water pumping situation. For security reasons he water is connected to one apartment in a shared compound. In my former house it was connected to mine, I had to give the security man a spare key so when I am not around water can be pumped, once he lost the key and I travelled, my neighbours were stranded till I came back and they couldnt break my door down, so they had to go 2 weeks without water and I was unreachable.

Back to the topic. The woman here has no self value so I find it hard to blame the man/ men or society for a fate she chose by herself, she is an adult and a mother, if she chooses to be begging a man who devalues her simply because she is content sitting and him paying for her means of livelyhood then its her choice.

I know several women who worked hard, sponsored themselves and started their lives over with nothing even won custody of their kids, society will talk but wont point a gun at your head, the law works only lazy entitled people who want solutions at their door steps easy and sharp sharp will sit and say it doesnt hence accept every rubbish thrown at them.

In this case the man is her ticket out of poverty, he probably took her off the hands of parents who had more children than they could care for and so were willing to marry her off to a man who could "train" her.
Now after the decorative training, she is still okay with him being her meal ticket and so she is more than ready to take whatever he dishes out.
If he likes let him make her baff in sh-t I dont bother, na her choice the day she is tired she will make an adult decision, no one can love her more than herself.
Dont be surprised its women like this who will raise her nose at single women and feel she is "better" than them her own value is measured in having a man, any kind of man, at least when he is not bullying her he is making sure she can compete with other women

SAMBARRY: sign of weakness means he's not man enough to be a man.EOD!








mods come and lock this thread. Some of the post I am reading here is unbelievable. I can't believe some supposed human beings will stoop so low to type insane and inconsiderate things

5minsmadness:
Some women can drive men to do bizzaire and insane things. It has been happening since the dawn of time.



Also I'm curious to know how its a sign of weakness. And what would be a sign of strength? I'm asking from a purely curious standpoint.

Mynd44: I find it more disturbing that the woman wants to beg him.....

aisha2: Its easy to blame men for all our woes when we women enable it.

While dating you see it all. Women who will feel superior to other babes because they are the "main chicks" and others are the "side chicks" forgetting that they are all equall sharing the same pen-is, meanwhile her defination of main chick is that he has unprotected se-x with her and protected se-x with others such foolishness.

You see them desperately fighting and working to just become Mrs even when the husband is obviously not a husband material. I married "late" by Nigerian standards so yes I have seen plenty, when at 29 I refused a proposal because the man cheated you would think I murdered someone, I was declared doomed to be forever single, I was advised to look the other way, all men are like that I would never find a husband bla bla bla. Me with my stuborn head I no gree, I said better I be single than married and misearble not knowing where my husbands peni-s will be resting daily. The man obviously used to dealing with the mentality of some women was even saying " ehnn, even if I have my weakness shouldnt you pray for me instead?". I simply reminded him that I wasnt his mother and I wanted to marry a sane responisble adult not an over grown baby

When women stop marrying silly men they will adjust but as long as women continue accepting any and everything and count themselves "lucky" to be married to a man who is obviously not ready mentally to be married we will keep seeing stroies that touch

solidman59: Nice write up dear, u certainly have a point there but I think ur opinion is one-sided. Therefore, I will tell my guys here to stop marrying silly women too. Don't get me wrong sha, the truth is dat what you've jst talked abt applied to ladies too and I think you failed to point that out.
Thanks

solidman59: Nice write up dear, u certainly have a point there but I think ur opinion is one-sided. Therefore, I will tell my guys here to stop marrying silly women too. Don't get me wrong sha, the truth is dat what you've jst talked abt applied to ladies too and I think you failed to point that out.
Thanks

aisha2:
The truth is that even a drunk man will have standards when it comes to choosing a wife.
You find a man with a long list of attributes in a wife he is looking for no matter how he himself is he will tell you which of the girls he is dating is good for marriage and which is not. It is the women who seem to be allergic to having standards. You will see a supposedly smart put together woman who just wants a husband, she can be picky about her shoes, clothes bags etc but she is willing to accept any kind of man just to be someone's wife because all her mates are married, or her parents are forcing her to marry.
Over the years we have emotionally blackmailed women into not having standards, we tell them that they are choosy and will end up frustrated spinsters, so women have no conditioned their mind to grab any man even with no tangible husbandish character just so they can be considered married with the hope of changing himwhich normally totally fails.
My message is for women to have and stick to standards and not allow fear and desperation make them make bad choices anymore.
No one should marry a silly spouse male or female