baralatie:
you have not answered the question.
what is "weakness of a man as different from the strength"

3cycle:
Culture does not allow women fight for their kids, you either stay and endure or you leave and forget them.
You talk like you are not Nigerian

pickabeau1: On the contrary in my experience women have the highest standards.
They don't date ordinary people as they call it
Women are naturally hypergamous
Your point will come to be when the woman has no other options and she has to settle
You are making women out to be hapless victims saying they have no standards...lol

aisha2:
.
Point is everyone should realise they are responsible for their actions and will live with not society, make good decisions and have the right to be happy on their own terms

3cycle:
The eediot is very ugly
I want to believe he used jazz when he proposed marriage to the woman because no lady in her right senses will say yes to that ape

Isiterere:
I disagree , she should have obey the husband by not taken her bath or simply go to Neighbor's house to fetch water (she could have lied that, there own pumping machine is bad )

ALL IZZ WELL

aisha2:

The truth is that even a drunk man will have standards when it comes to choosing a wife.
You find a man with a long list of attributes in a wife he is looking for no matter how he himself is he will tell you which of the girls he is dating is good for marriage and which is not. It is the women who seem to be allergic to having standards. You will see a supposedly smart put together woman who just wants a husband, she can be picky about her shoes, clothes bags etc but she is willing to accept any kind of man just to be someone's wife because all her mates are married, or her parents are forcing her to marry.

Over the years we have emotionally blackmailed women into not having standards, we tell them that they are choosy and will end up frustrated spinsters, so women have no conditioned their mind to grab any man even with no tangible husbandish character just so they can be considered married with the hope of changing himwhich normally totally fails.
My message is for women to have and stick to standards and not allow fear and desperation make them make bad choices anymore.

No one should marry a silly spouse male or female

gbosaa:


Nwoke adi njo ..have you not heard that before??..

Btw is this man living in onitsha or Lagos??

pickabeau1: On the contrary in my experience women have the highest standards.

They don't date ordinary people as they call it

Women are naturally hypergamous..how many women marry gatemen or bricklayers?

Your point will come to be when the woman has no other options and she has to settle

You are making women out to be hapless victims saying they have no standards...lol

How many women will marry a conductor

I think you r being economical with the realities of life

chaircover:
It depends on what you mean by standards
Will a ritualist chief who already has 3 wives at home fit some womens standards and get a wife? Yes yes yes . . .so long as he is rich
Even here on NL, look at some of the qualities some women consider to make a man good, He is nice, he is handsome, he is generous, he is caring bla di bla di bla
You wont hear them talk about the nitty grity such as Integrity, Godly, Honest, Strength, Fair, Consistent, Hardworking, Kind, Reliable and other key attributes.
90% of the time, the man hasnt changed. Its the woman who wants to change the man. You see ladies fighting their finaces girlfriends every day but they still went ahead to marry the guy and on the wedding day they dance down the aisle flouting their new ring. Then start crying when he starts spending 7 days a week having drty chats with his girlfriends on facebook.
Has the man changed? He certainly hasnt! its the new wife that is trying to change him. Walking down the aisle and saying I DO doesnt suddenly bring a total body/brain reset back to factory settings to anyone. You either have it within you or you dont and signing a peice of paper doesnt suddenly make you a different person.

chaircover:

It depends on what you mean by standards
Will a ritualist chief who already has 3 wives at home fit some womens standards and get a wife? Yes yes yes . . .so long as he is rich

noun
1.
something considered by an authority or by general consent as a basis of comparison; an approved model.

2.
an object that is regarded as the usual or most common size or form of its kind:
"We stock the deluxe models as well as the standards."

3.
a rule or principle that is used as a basis for judgment:

Even here on NL, look at some of the qualities some women consider to make a man good, He is nice, he is handsome, he is generous, he is caring bla di bla di bla

You wont hear them talk about the nitty grity such as Integrity, Godly, Honest, Strength, Fair, Consistent, Hardworking, Kind, Reliable and other key attributes.

90% of the time, the man hasnt changed. Its the woman who wants to change the man. You see ladies fighting their finaces girlfriends every day but they still went ahead to marry the guy and on the wedding day they dance down the aisle flouting their new ring. Then start crying when he starts spending 7 days a week having drty chats with his girlfriends on facebook.

Has the man changed? He certainly hasnt! its the new wife that is trying to change him. Walking down the aisle and saying I DO doesnt suddenly bring a total body/brain reset back to factory settings to anyone. You either have it within you or you dont and signing a peice of paper doesnt suddenly make you a different person.

damiso: I know it is not always the case and yes your spouse is meant to support you in fulfilling your potentials but I am just not comfortable with this man training girl in university and then expecting marriage as a reward for his investments thing.

All this 'reaping investments' based marriages can get as e be jare(again not saying all marriages that the man sponsors the wife's education are bad or abusive) but it's more as a precaution to parents(am guessing and hoping most NL parents will be more enlightened sha ) not to abdicate their responsibilities to a another person who may or may not want to use it as leverage in the future.

pickabeau1:

Nothing wrong with this... they are also standards... they may not wash with another person but as humans we have our freedom of choice

Since we all agree that standards can mean different things to different people

What is meat to you is poison to another

Making a statement that women have no standards is inaccurate.. ditto for men

chaircover:

Yes standards are different to different people and that is why I used the chief example
I dont think that all women dont have the right standards
Some do, some dont
. . . and some that dont have the right standards, just havent had a chance to think about it all in depth.
What Aisha is trying to make them sit and think about what they are doing before they make a mistake.

pickabeau1:

I get your point but this is not only aquality of the males
Marriages r being contracted nowadays and what u hear is the lady already preparing for post divorce shortly in the marriage

What will i get if we split

pickabeau1: Fair enough and as i said earlier... we all have standards.. its just relativity

Mr A married for love; Mr B married for money.. all na standard....

everybody marries for whatever reason as they deem fit

The morality of the reasons why the married is not anyones' to judge on

pickabeau1: Fair enough and as i said earlier... we all have standards.. its just relativity
Mr A married for love; Mr B married for money.. all na standard....
everybody marries for whatever reason as they deem fit
The morality of the reasons why the married is not anyones' to judge on

damiso:
I am not actually saying it is the mans(or anyone's fault) you know everyone has a right to choose what they want to do with their money.My point was more based on the recipient of the gesture i,e the girl and her parents weighing the pros and cons of basing a marriage based on ' haa it won't be good after all this money he has spent' even if the guy has some other traits that the girl might not necessarily like or if the girl in question might not necessarily have married him if not for that fact.
I know poverty is rife and sometimes people sometimes have to do what they have to do but sometimes the long hard road might actually not be that bad it's just that sometimes girls 'want' all those extras that their parents might not actually be able to give them.I had people in my class in university who probably had just 5 outfits in total cos buying clothes was a luxury that could affect their actual living costs and they did not mind and faced what they were in university to do.Today they too are graduates with those that were the 'best dressed' so I guess it's different priorities.

aisha2:
I agree like in this case the wife no talk say she get problem na "concerned Neighbour" carry the matter come here, she married a provider and she is willing to beg and come back to the house so thats her own standard.
As long as he provides water and food she is fine regardless of how he treats her

chaircover:

Oga B People can marry for whatever reason, but should not cry foul if mid marriage they expect other things beyond the initial reasons to change and they dont.

If you married 3 wife chief for money . . then dont start crying foul when he brings in wife 6. Afterall he is still providing you with your yearly holidays to Dubai and changes your car every year.

SAMBARRY: weakness of the man means he has character issues like aggressiveness, quick anger, filthiness, in consideration. Strength is theoopposite of every thing I have listed


ahen mods.una no dey hear word? I said come and lock this thread na

this is a brand new month o.all this one chance/bad market thread I no wan see am again



royal roy, t girl oya o.ijo kan yin

5minsmadness:
I agree with you on the bolded.

baralatie:
what is aggresivrness
what is filthiness
what is righteousness
finally what is weakness of a man



and you have not clearly answered the question.

NoQualms1:

Sorry to digress, are you the same as 'guitar life'?

3cycle:
Hian
Owekwa umu nwoke di njo oo
He doesn't reside in any of those places

Mynd44: I find it more disturbing that the woman wants to beg him.....

aisha2:

The truth is that even a drunk man will have standards when it comes to choosing a wife.
You find a man with a long list of attributes in a wife he is looking for no matter how he himself is he will tell you which of the girls he is dating is good for marriage and which is not. It is the women who seem to be allergic to having standards. You will see a supposedly smart put together woman who just wants a husband, she can be picky about her shoes, clothes bags etc but she is willing to accept any kind of man just to be someone's wife because all her mates are married, or her parents are forcing her to marry.

Over the years we have emotionally blackmailed women into not having standards, we tell them that they are choosy and will end up frustrated spinsters, so women have no conditioned their mind to grab any man even with no tangible husbandish character just so they can be considered married with the hope of changing himwhich normally totally fails.
My message is for women to have and stick to standards and not allow fear and desperation make them make bad choices anymore.

No one should marry a silly spouse male or female

ileobatojo:

You don't know they are the real 'wife material' ni? Don't knock their hustle.

aisha2: Its easy to blame men for all our woes when we women enable it.

While dating you see it all. Women who will feel superior to other babes because they are the "main chicks" and others are the "side chicks" forgetting that they are all equall sharing the same pen-is, meanwhile her defination of main chick is that he has unprotected se-x with her and protected se-x with others such foolishness.

You see them desperately fighting and working to just become Mrs even when the husband is obviously not a husband material. I married "late" by Nigerian standards so yes I have seen plenty, when at 29 I refused a proposal because the man cheated you would think I murdered someone, I was declared doomed to be forever single, I was advised to look the other way, all men are like that I would never find a husband bla bla bla. Me with my stuborn head I no gree, I said better I be single than married and misearble not knowing where my husbands peni-s will be resting daily. The man obviously used to dealing with the mentality of some women was even saying " ehnn, even if I have my weakness shouldnt you pray for me instead?". I simply reminded him that I wasnt his mother and I wanted to marry a sane responisble adult not an over grown baby

When women stop marrying silly men they will adjust but as long as women continue accepting any and everything and count themselves "lucky" to be married to a man who is obviously not ready mentally to be married we will keep seeing stroies that touch

bukatyne:

Where have you been?

How are you and family?

Take care

P.S.: 5minsmadness has started siding the man na

The woman will still come back to beg.

You know respect is NOT reciprocal/mutual that's why men can treat their spouses like sh.it

The man is only trying to be a Naija hubby. The woman has started begging