Love is among one of the most talked about topics in the universe and yet it is still one of the mysteries of life. We spend years upon years finding it and yet only a small percentage of us ever get to find it.

1. Love is universal . . . . . yet very particular

Just like smiling, love is a language everybody understands. It cuts across every political, social and ethnic group that exists on earth. No matter who you are, what you do or where you are there is someone out there who loves you exactly the way you are. You probably knew that already, didn’t you?

What you probably don’t know is that love is at the same time very particular, just like your fingerprint. What keeps you apart from your significant other might be the same thing keeping another relationship. What worked for a couple might not work for another couple.

So how do you know what will keep your relationship working? The key to unlocking the secret to making your relationship work is communication, lots of communication.

Our advice: Do not compare your relationship with that of others or imitate the methods of other couples and expect the same result.

2. There is always someone better

It doesn’t matter who you choose as your designate true love, there will always be someone better out there. No matter the requirements you assign to your one true love, there will always be someone out there who will best them every criteria that you hold dear in your search for true love.

You will come across such people. Is it looks? You will meet someone finer. Is it money? You will meet someone richer. Is it social status? You will meet someone higher on the social ladder.

Our advice: If we have to dump our current lover for someone better all the time, then we are no different from animals

3. You might not marry your true love

Marriage is the ultimate goal of every wonderful relationship, at least down here in Africa. We all fall in love so that we could one day walk down the aisle with our significant other, exchange vows, have kids, grow old and die together. But this might never happen. Know why? Because life is unfair, that’s why.

There will be obstacles to your happily ever after, there will be so many obstructions that you might not be able to survive your relationship. Some of these obstacles will end your relationship and you will eventually end up settling for someone else just for the sake of getting married.

Our advice: Like we said earlier life is unfair.

4. You don’t have to be with someone to love them

One great misconception people have about love is that you have to be in a relationship with someone to love them. This is not entirely true. When you fall in love with somebody, it is not compulsory that they become your partner, but this does not stop you from loving them any less.

Our advice: If you love someone, then you should love them enough to let them go.

5. Loving someone and hurting them is not mutually exclusive

One of the obligations that come with loving someone is the compulsion of always wanting them to be happy. You are willing be bend in half even up to the point where you snap, if that would put a smile on their face.

You would never imagine a day when you would hurt the love of your life, intentionally or unintentionally, but believe us that day will surely come. Oh, lest we forget, a day will also come when your sweetheart will hurt you too; they will hurt you deep, real deep.

Pain is bound to be a part of every relationship. Continuous pain? No way. When the pain becomes continuous and unbearable, communicate with each other and wait for it to stop and if the hurting continues, you should both go to the airport and buy plane tickets that leaves in opposite directions.

Our advice: Love is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. A little conflict is okay, but constant pain is not acceptable, be it physical or emotional

6. Love is all about giving

Most people think when you find true love all of your worries are over. You will finally get everything you ever wished for, everything you ever never had while growing up will be available, every missed opportunity will be compensated. Sorry to rain on your parade, but that is not the case.

When you finally find true love you will come to realise one of the true beauties in love is giving. You are willing to give your time, resources and everything you hold dear in your life just to see a smile of your lover.

It’s not true love when all you do is receive and give nothing. True love gives, gives and continues giving.

It’s not love when all you do is receive, even when it is in your power to give you still decide to hold back. You are busy thinking of how what you are giving will bring forth bigger fruits. In this case, you are not in a relationship, you are in a business partnership.

Our advice: When you find love, give all you can and expect nothing in return because when you expect, all you will ever get in return is disappointment

7. You will sometimes wish you were single

Your single friends make being single a lot of fun. They might sometimes mock you and make you feel bad for being in a relationship. They will keep late nights, have multiple partners and sometimes make corny jokes about relationships.

The truth is that they might joke all they want but deep down, they are jealous and the honestly wish they had a taste of what you have.

Your friends do not even have to trigger the feeling of wanting to be single. Sometimes all it takes is a little relationship conflict or dispute and you would wish you were single.

Our advice: You have a better chance at catching lightening than finding true love. Don’t lose what you have.

8. Love will not fix you

No one is perfect but some people are a lot more damaged than others. If you are rude, bad-mannered or a plain pain in the butt to everybody and yourself then get proper help. No one can truly love you until you start to love yourself. No one will love you if you do not love yourself.

Love is not a catholicon (a hypothetical drug that heals all diseases). If you are broken, love will not mend you, only you can fix you. You could be swimming in an ocean of love and still b as broken as ever.

Finding love will not make all your problems go away. You will enjoy the first gush of romance and it will be fun but you will eventually realise that you are in the exact same place you ever were, except that you have to worry that someone else will have to carry your “baggage” with you.

Expecting love to fix you is like spraying perfume on poop and expecting to become a rose flower. It might smell nice for a while, but is still poop, the perfume will wear off and it will eventually stink.

Our Advice: Get your sh*t together before you start your quest for true love.

9. There will sometimes be conflict (lots of conflict)

Fairy tales always end with “and they lived happily ever after”. What you fail to realise is that “happily ever after” usually includes one or two conflicts every now and then. There will be disputes, there will be quarrels and sometimes full blown fights but the most important thing is to get past your differences and realize that your love for each other is bigger than any disagreement that you might be having.

After all even scientist agree that lack of conflicts in a relationship usually indicate a lack of interest.

Our advice: It is better to lose your pride because of your love than to lose your love because of your pride

10.You will do it all over again

No matter how many times you’ve had your heart broken. No matter how much you lost in your quest for love. No matter how deep your injuries were. No matter the number of times you’ve been burnt. You could describe love as the most horrible monster that ever lived but the truth is….

The next time you find love, you will fall all over again.

You know why? Because the only thing worse than love is to be alone.

Our advice: Do not let other people pay for the mistakes of your failed relationships

What other lesson did you learn from finding true love? Let us know in the comment section below

- See more at: http://giftedgreen.com/2014/blog/2014/09/03/10-things-no-one-ever-tells-you-about-love-and-relationships/#sthash.DKADRILI.dpuf

11. Relationship is not all about love. Trust and respect are the most important elements.

I was a believer!!! But dang love mehn!!

.......No 2 really brought back painful memories.....
..tot i culdnt find another.....
...somehow i did....
...nice one, OP

Nice thread. 11. Love can make or destroy you. 12. Love makes you weak. 13. It is impossible to be in love and be wise. 14. The magic of first love is the ignorance that it will and can never end.

Hmmm

Love oh Love

Cute

DollyParton1: 11. Relationship is not all about love. Trust and respect are the most important elements.

trust is earned.