According to a survey on myOC, 42 percent of students believe that they will find a spouse before they graduate from Oklahoma Christian University, yet only a small percentage of students get married between the ages of 18 and 22. Such a statistic begs the question of what happens between the dream and the reality.

Breakups.

Breakups for many students at Oklahoma Christian pose a difficult obstacle for students to overcome during their college years.

“I was an emotional basket case for the first week or so. The littlest things would set me off and make me cry,” junior Amy Gregg said. “I was fortunate enough to go through the break up and recovery process while I was still at home.”

This emotional instability only intensifies while undergoing a break up while at school. With a small campus like Oklahoma Christian University’s, seeing an ex is more likely. Senior Kristen Hicks said being at school made it harder.

“I was definitely more emotional for about the first semester after it happened,” Hicks said.

Senior Nate Oates stated his grades suffered slightly during his break up.

“I had a problem focusing a lot in class. I would wonder what she as doing since I hadn’t talked to her in a long time, and I also wondered if I was making a mistake,” Oates said.

Department Chair of Psychology and Family Studies Ryan Newell said that he saw no correlation between grades and break ups, but did see a decline in attendance.
“Most of us when we find ourselves right after a break up, the last thing we want to do is hang out with the person we just broke up with,” Newell said. “Especially if it’s across the same classroom.”

Hicks revealed her ended relationship in fact helped her grades.

“The break up actually made me work harder, and it ended up being the best semester I had with grades,” Hicks said.

Chelsea Jones, who has not been through a break up while at college, but has watched others, believes that the hardest part is the social life.

“After the break up it’s like they have to rebuild themselves again. Some are so consumed with the relationship that their friendships have suffered,” Jones said. “They have to go back to being okay by themselves, and investing in other things.”

“I think the effect of college students is the same for anyone else who breaks up. People are going to have trouble concentrating, and get distracted and depressed,” Newell said. “The way people respond depends on their relationship.”

Some of the pain from ending a relationship may stem from expectations about love when students first come to college. According to the online version of the College Student Journal, “Young (age 19 and under) undergraduates were significantly more likely to believe in “love at first sight” and “love conquers all” than older (age 20 and older) undergraduates.” (www.findarticles.com)

Students may at first feel disillusioned with their original view of relationships after a breakup.

Another romantic belief is that “love conquers all.” Again, younger students were significantly (p [is less than] .02) more likely than older students to agree that “All problems can be solved if there is enough love.” The percentages were 61 percent versus 43 percent, respectively, of the younger and older respondents who believed that “love conquers all.”

Not only are there differences in how students of different ages view relationships, but also there is a difference between how students of different genders react to breakups.

Newell states that men tend to detach emotionally where women are more likely to share their problems. Other gender differences, according to a College Student Journal poll of undergraduates at a large southeastern university, included men reported having more difficulty than women recovering from a break up.

“Men are cultured to deal with relationships differently,” Newell said. “There are some gender specific reactions, but I don’t think they are tailored to a gender, more as the person has been cultured in that society.”

Regardless of gender, break ups are still difficult to overcome for most. For Johnson, friends were the best remedy.

“My girlfriends really pulled me through this time. They took me out and made me enjoyed everything again,” Johnson said.

Hicks said friends, and also getting a job helped her.

“I got a job to keep myself occupied so I wasn’t just sitting around with nothing to do. It helped for me to keep myself busy and keep my mind off of things,” Hicks said.

The College Student Journal survey also reported that time and new relationships helped students overcome breakups.

“The passage of time and involvement with a new partner were identified as the most helpful factors in getting over a love relationship that ended. While not statistically significant, men more than women reported “a new partner” was more helpful in relationship recovery (34 percent versus 29 percent). Similarly, women more than men reported that “time” was more helpful in relationship recovery (34 percent versus 29 percent).” (http://www.findarticles.com)

According to Oates, break ups don’t have to be a bad thing.

“I needed to re-focus on God. During the time we were broken up, I learned a lot about my faith and how much stronger I should be,” Oates said. “It was a productive breakup for my spiritual life.”

Nice.yea it does.

Another reason why relationship isn't for everybody, you have to be prepared for the burden that comes with it and quite frankly most adults in relationships right now aren't, not to talk of teens and students.

Not the doing well in school coz you are dumb is one thing, failing coz your heart was broken? I swear I will beat somebody from here to timbuktu.

people in school should stay off romance, period. Especially in Uni. This is why so many people graduate with low grades. Breakup, heartbreak+school work do not mix.

My friend Shegirl, how r  u doin today , ?

webman:

My friend Shegirl, how r u doin today , ?

Oh ok,chessy.thanks for asking.

Shegirl ,hopin you re chillin out wt  your boboo anyway  lol

In fact, I think the government should organise serious counselling projects, they should go around school campuses, even secondary schools, to educate young people to stay out of serious relationships until they graduate from Uni. You can hang out, have friends, etc, but stay off any stupid love affairs. Period.