After careful consideration I'll say (overall) I prefer the life I have made for myself here. Although it wasn't always so.

I had to start from scratch - Started Uni allover again, and like Bhola, I worked my a-es-es off and pursued a degree in Computer Science simultaneously. I worked 2 full time jobs (80hrs/week of a combination of retail and call center customer service) to keep up with international fees while in school but I always managed to keep my grades high. The payoff was that I got an entry-level job offer in the range of $60-$70K secured with a top IT company before I even graduated.

Part of the job offer was an F1 student visa to H1B to Greencard path. This was 5 years ago and I have continued to work hard and IMO, make very good progress in the same company. I always try to put head for ground and look for opportunities to progress.

Today, I have a 4bdrm 2.5 bath house (uhm, yes, I took a mortgage) - but I can readily afford the payments. I also have a paid-off non-luxury but fully loaded car. The material things by themselves do not really matter as I have a lot of friends and relatives in naija who have done way better for themselves (materially) but the fact that I can enjoy them without fear of being robbed (I have a monitored alarm), or that I can drive to and fro my sisters or aunt's homes at any time of the day or night without being attacked by armed robbers give me a better sense of peace, and overall better quality to my life.

This is my two cents but I'll add one more cent for anyone considering moving :

1) Like earlier mentioned, have a good path to legalizing yourself - Many other countries make it easier so start from there.
2) Don't lose your focus by trying to create a perfect picture for those back home or keeping up with your new friends - let them know things are tight while u are forging ahead
3) In line with the above don't mess up your credit. You can't do anything meaningful (sometimes this includes getting a decent job) if you screw that up.
4) Never forget why you left in the first place. This may help you stay grounded during those tough times when your feet are aching and your spirit is breaking.
5) NEVER FORGET TO REACH BACK AND PULL! As Nigerians we don't know how to give back once we get settled. Pick one person and make their own journey a little easier if you can. Let's not be like crabs in a barrell - pulling each other down.

Take care folks - The more the merrier.

waoh that was really helpful. ese gan ni I think i will have to copy and save this , its a big advice.

Great word of advice, welldone for that

hell yeah am living the life. 30yr old neurologist (MD) fresh out of residency with a job offer @ pomerado hospital for 450k a year! U cant beat that! looking at getting a lake house in good'ol texas (where everything is bigger of course), thinking of a bentley,,,,,,nah I will just stick with the escalade and 2006 S500 for now,,,,,,,,oh and yea, just got an ml450 2006 for my fiancee. now thats what u call a good life. DOes anybody know what real estate costs in downtown abuja?,,,,,nah I will just stick with starting my fellowship after which I will make other plans



oh,,,,,and yeah,,,,,my first job in the U.S ten years ago was a was as a security guard where I got paid $5.65 an hour and I had to work at alberstons for the summer. Even then it was still a good life. AMerica ROCKS!!!!!!

i bet you had to go nights memorizing those neurology books and wondering when all that was going to end.


what med school did you attend?

----

Goodjob & Congrats you guys!!

I attended University of California San diego SOM. and then did my residency @ Duke medical center in NC. but I will go back for my fellowship in neurosurgery after we have our kids. My wife (I mean fiance ) is a beautiful Nigerian Fashion-designer. Born in the U.S but raised in Nigeria. Once u go naija u can't go back!!!! Naija girls Rock!!!!! yey!!!!!!

naija girls with a little bit of american touch!!! now thats the higher life!!!!

congrats w/ your wife. I bet she designs your clothes too. lol
and yes. we do rock!!  

funny i wanted to be a neurosurgeon when i was 11. I changed my mind now though.
so you attended UC for your undergrad studies and Duke for graduate?
How hard is it to get into Duke?

sorry to bother you w/ questions. hope you don't mind.

WesleyanA:

congrats w/ your wife. I bet she designs your clothes too. lol
and yes. we do rock!! 

funny i wanted to be a neurosurgeon when i was 11. I changed my mind now though.
so you attended UC for your undergrad studies and Duke for graduate?
How hard is it to get into Duke?

sorry to bother you w/ questions. hope you don't mind.

nah,,,,I went to UCLA for my undergrad, UCSD for medical school and duke for residency,,,,,,,am shooting for hopkins or UCSF for my fellowship. And yeah she designed the interior of our house. but I just want her to take sometime off so I can take care of her u know?  We are also planning for her to open up a fashion center in Nigeria. but that will be after my fellowship

                                                                                             ---------

getting into duke for residency wasnt that bad because I did very well in my rotations, so I was just matched into the program. but my fellowship is what i am really excited about. neurosurgery is fascinating

WesleyanA:

congrats w/ your wife. I bet she designs your clothes too. lol
and yes. we do rock!!

funny i wanted to be a neurosurgeon when i was 11. I changed my mind now though.
so you attended UC for your undergrad studies and Duke for graduate?
How hard is it to get into Duke?

sorry to bother you w/ questions. hope you don't mind.

so are u in med school yet?

@emeka
got a lot of respect for u man. anything blood aint my thing. and neurosurgery aint easy at all. God bless.

emeka83:

nah,,,,I went to UCLA for my undergrad, UCSD for medical school and duke for residency,,,,,,,am shooting for hopkins or UCSF for my fellowship. And yeah she designed the interior of our house. but I just want her to take sometime off so I can take care of her u know? We are also planning for her to open up a fashion center in Nigeria. but that will be after the my fellowship

questions (hope you don't mind):
So would you recommend going to a school like hopkins (or maybe duke) for undergrad. It's cutthroat and unhealthy and all that but the addmittance (sp?) rates to med schools are high.
or just go to a reg/ state school that's cheaper (even if it's not a great state school like UCLA).

Do you like/enjoy your job as a neurologist?

-------
lol about your lady taking time off as a fashion designer. she's one lucky lady  
I bet your house's interior design looks like one of those (tres chics) in the magazines.
designing is fun. too bad only a few people are blessed w/ those skills  

emeka83:

so are u in med school yet?

no. I'm a rising senior in High School (will graduate '07)
I'm lost on where to go for college.  (not really. i just want to narrow down my list).

To all:
I think the term "dream life" needs to be defined. As far as I am concerned, the term "dream" is just that, a dream. Are we living a better life *on average* than those at home? Sure. Having said that, I personally don't regard having to live off one loan or the other (at the very least, there is the 30 yr mortgage loan which most of us have, make we no lie ), whereby we are always conscious of how many hours we have not worked so as not to short the light bill; constantly worrying about what is good for us today but bad for us in 4 years; for the men, pretty much kissing our wive's asses so as to avoid her leaving us and not collecting half of our property; putting in so many hours at one or two jobs to the detriment of our kidz development which results in them joining the wrong clicks; working all your life for an employer who can retrench you for no reason literally 20 minutes from your retirement so as not to pay you pension, etc as "living the dream".

Of course, as was the case with Lazarus and the poor man in the bible, the only way for those of us at home to appreciate what I am saying is to be here yourselves. Trust me, I pray that we should all be here on a daily basis because if I tell you guys, you won't believe.

Finally, to those of us back home, the next time you escort someone you know to the airport, if possible, obtain permission to go to the "International Finger (whoever came up with that name deserves serious flogging, but I digress)", borrow a pair of binoculars and insist that your loved one sits near the window. If you are lucky, u will c him/her probably rubbing their heads and talking to themselves. Why? Cos most of them borrowed money to come home or probably didnt put in enough hours (that "hours" word again) prior to leaving abroad and now they will spend the next 6 or so hours calculating how to borrow from Peter to pay Paul with respect to bills that are accumulating for them in their mailbox. Some even start work the next day, rather than shrug off the jet lag, not because they want to, but because they have been subliminally programmed to become zombies. Come on now folks, you know what am talking about LOL. That leads to my last question before signing off - do you call a situation where you work so hard and so long that even when you are given the day off, you feel like you have to go to work, "living the dream"? Mba, beeko, iyo o, tufia!!

To "Akan Ubong"
I no sabi say u sabi ATL like that o. U sure say u no be undercover? Make e no b say na u dey behind the closing of Ford and GM plants for our side o! There are people who hv worked 30 years at those places and now because of no marketable skills are going to end up basically becoming paupers overnight. If na so, I dey move come 8 mile sharp sharp LOL

WesleyanA:

no. I'm a rising senior in High School (will graduate '07)
I'm lost on where to go for college.   (not really. i just want to narrow down my list).

I think u should try U.C schools if u are in california. berkley, san diego, LA and San fransisco are the best. definetly try those high profile school, but for undergrad, people whose parents have a lot of contributions to make to the school are usually given prefrence. however their graduate programs are mostly based on brains especially their medical programs. I will recommend u go to prestigeous public schools as oppose to private ones, also try to get into any medical school u can, but work hard on ur clinical rotations and u can land any residencies in any school that u want, which is what matters anyways.

emeka83:

I think u should try U.C schools if u are in california. berkley, san diego, LA and San fransisco are the best. definetly try those high profile school, but for undergrad, people whose parents have a lot of contributions to make to the school are usually given prefrence. however their graduate programs are mostly based on brains especially their medical programs. I will recommend u go to prestigeous public schools as oppose to private ones, also try to get into any medical school u can, but work hard on your clinical rotations and u can land any residencies in any school that u want, which is what matters anyways.

I don't live in a state w/ a prestigious public school. And, out-of-state schools are actually more expensive than some private ones since they give less aid so it'll make more sense to attend a private school.
but then the cheapest private schools are the most competitive/rigorous. so yeah everything comes with a price.
It's all good though.
thanks for the advice. and goodluck w/ your fiancee. hope you have a nice wedding.

where are the UK guys, are you not living the dream.

You went to Duke for med school? I'm hoping to go to med school at Duke, or Hopkins, or something.

I'm a little nervous for med school, I just know that it's going to be stressful along with everything afterwards. I just hope that I can handle it all.

But I also wish that you have a great wedding and a happy wedded life.

@WesleyanA

What are your interests in, or what do you plan to major in?

And when applying to college, apply to a good amount of private schools, because like you said they have a lot of money from endowments and alumni connections. My brother goes to an out-of-state public school and his tuition that he pays per semester is higher than mine even though his school costs less! And private schools tend to give more in the scholarship area (and you want that because you don't have to pay it back ).

But yeah, if you have questions on the admissions process and stuff you can always talk to me about it. I'm always open to help a fellow naija

I completely agree with babaibadan, if you can't manage your life and get a good income, THERE IS NOT PART OF THE WORLD YOU WILL MAKE IT AND LIFE "THE LIFE"!!!!

Go to UK, USA, CANDADA or wherever and you still don't have money, YOU WILL SUFFER! even, STAY IN NIGERIA and still have NO MONEY, YOU WILL SUFFER!

People just think that when you step into a foreig country, money just starts to flow into your pocket or something like that! but whatever they think, they believe once you step out, you become RICH!!! oh boy, na magic

Each time i tell people i'm in Cyprus, they's be like "oh, that's good! thank God oh!" meanwhile, i sometimes think i should have schooled in nigeria cos no matter how bad it gets, i can always lean back HOME!!! but here, oh boy, YOU ARE ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN OH!!! if it gets bad, NA YOU SABI!

so its very very very very very very simple, wheather nigeria oh, UK oh, US oh, Australia oh, wherever , if you can't earn money STEADILY, YOU WILL SUFFER!! unless your father is very rich, or somethinng like that! lol!

You guys who want to travel out, m best advice is DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR! DO YOUR HOMEWORK, MAKRE RESEARCH ABOUT WHERE YOU WANT TO GO, FIND OUT WHAT'S TRUE AND WHAT'S NOT! DON'T JUST ASSUME AND USE YOUR IMMAGINATION! IF YOU DON'T KNOW, ASK THOSE THAT ARE THERE, THEY WILL TELL YOU! DON'T ASK THOSE WITH BIGGER IMMAGINATIONS THAN YOURS, OKAY?

I still don't understand WHERE IN NIGERIA, that stupid mentality of "once you jand, you've made it in life" came from! good luck oh!

My2cents

I be Yankee boy all around. You know say when you dey Auto Industry, you got people and places to see. Abeg my Guy i don buy my ticket for Nigeria, and i for like see you for Itu Bridge this Christmas. I am DEAD FCUKEN SERIOUS BRO! I am flying BA to ABJ second week in December. Please let us meet. Once i enter Homefront, i will email you and give you my number. But i hope you are falling in this Christmas? I go dey for like one week, then head go Jo-burg then come back Nigeria. Make we play this Christmas abeg!!

The dream is what you make of your opportunities. There are clearly more opportunities for one starting from scratch in US/UK.

AMERICAN DREAM Whatever that means! Yes there are Nigerians that live the good life & can AFFORD to. Remember that the DREAM LIFE or whatever u want to call it is relative to how the individual or family defines what the GOOD LIFE means to them.
On the flip side of things there nigerians that i know here in the U.S that work life 3-4 JOBS & YES I SAID 3-4 J.O.B's ( JUST OVER BROKE) to maintain the that lifestyle! It never ceases to amaze me how much debt this guys get into cuz they are all trying to compete and keep up with THE JONES!
America truly has a lot of advantages but we as foriegner need to be careful cuz it sucks us in. For me personally LIVING IN A HUGE HOUSE (BIG MORTGAGE & UTILITY BILLS), DRIVING A FANCY CAR ( PAYING CAR-NOTES), LIVING ON CREDIT e.t.c isn't living the DREAM LIFE! PLease don't get me wrong I LUV the FINER THINGS OF LIFE BUT IF IT MEANS THAT I HAVE TO WORK MULTIPLE J.O.B's TO AFFORD IT I DON'T WANT IT! I LUV THE FREEDOM OF GETTING AND GOING WHEVER I PLEASE!
Ask this guys living the so-called life the last time they took a VACATION somewhere nice and the answer will be NEVER cuz they are ENSLAVED to all the stuff they have aquired cuz they have to CONTINUALLY WORK their asses-off to pay for all the sh#*t!
AMERICAN DREAM?? I WISH EVERYONE GOOD LUCK IN FINDING THEIR AMERICAN DREAM! NOTICE I SAID "THEIR" CUZ IT'S RELATIVE TO THE INDIVIDUAL & HOW THEY DESCRIBE THAT DREAM!!

True talk you all are saying !

I read somewhere in this thread that some countrie make it easier to enter the US
which countries are u talking about ?

Jacq, typically, if you have other countries visas on your passport, it is a lot easier to get the US visa.

Does european countries count ?


stupid question i think

I'll think those count.

I am achieving my dreams here in Oyinbo-land, because here I am a gateman, and I always dreamed of being a meguard (don't know if I spelled that right) as a child! Although I have two degrees in my pocket.
I prefer this job to being in Nigeria as a doctor or an engineer. At least, being a meguard here, I earn £15 per hour, which is more than a doctor and engineer in Nigeria put together! So ask me if I am happy, and I will say yes. I am always smiling when I get my paycheck!

Nigerians who are here in the UK without correct documentation find life difficult, if not very difficult. Unfortunately, these guys lives are made more difficult by nigerian employers. Here in london, Nigerians who own recruitment agencies prefer to use their nigerian "brothers" and pay them as low as 3 pound/hour. If you earn this amount, you will struggle and may never find your feet here. Worst still, many friends will send e-mails telling you that their fees have not been paid, their mobile phones got lost, their supervisors want them to buy sulfuric acid, or they want to have a secret abortion. Beware, find your feet before you start listening to the old litany.

omonozozo:

I am achieving my dreams here in Oyinbo-land, because here I am a gateman, and I always dreamed of being a meguard (don't know if I spelled that right) as a child! Although I have two degrees in my pocket.
I prefer this job to being in Nigeria as a doctor or an engineer. At least, being a meguard here, I earn £15 per hour, which is more than a doctor and engineer in Nigeria put together! So ask me if I am happy, and I will say yes. I am always smiling when I get my paycheck!

baba meguard u na well don o!

and keep it coming fellow dreamers, by the time everybody pours out his/her own travails my book on "The life of a non-immigrant" will be complete.

UK/US can't be compared with Nigeria economically so its naturally more likely that people that live and work in these countries will have more at there disposal than peeps living in Nigeria, if thats what Nigerians at home call the 'dream life' than its true, but truth be said, quality of life isn't necessarily better, if Nigeria suddenly became a major playa economically, 90% Nigerians abroad will pack their backs within 1yr no matter how much of the 'dream life' their livin. Home is best.