A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. - Romance - Nairaland
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| A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by PhockPhockMan: 12:31pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
Dear nairalanders, my name Matthew Adesina. It may seem like a very strange problem to you but it is the truth. First, am a deaf boy and that is the genesis of my problem, i was born a twin and my twin sister already has 2 children while am still single(am still young at 21 years), i was not born deaf but an accident caused it 13 years ago, I could speak well both English and Yoruba (i got deaf before completing secondary school) .My problem is that I find it difficult to date normal girl cos of communication issues and worst still i dont know how to keep a romantic conversation going for more than 5 minutes face to face,the few times i tried toasting girls i end up embarrassing my self as i speak rubbish after exhaushting reasonable points and worst still u know conversation is a two way thing but mine seems to be one way when speaking with a girl face to face as i do the speaking and don't have ears to listen to her thereby creating a terrible one sided conversation. Am deaf but does not understand sign language, I communicate by lip reading (u know what that means?)which is very ineffective especially when speaking with fast speakers or stranger. Recently i met a young girl online (2go),(i communicate and flirt well on social networks),we date online for 6 months,she knows i was deaf and in fact she was a twin like me, she lives in oyo state while am in ogun state, i think she really loves me cos she has familiarise herself with most of my siblings and senior bro who also live in oyo state by calling them regularly, we look forward to meeting each other but am honestly sacred of meeting her cos of my communication problem,my bro gave birth this week and that provide us the perfect opportunity to meet as i will be going to the naming ceremony as she live in the same city as my bro. she want me 2 come and meet her but i said no,that she should come over to my brothers place cos i dont know my way around the city,we have not agreed now on how we would meet,my bro plan to facilitate our meeting but i told him to forget it not because am not interested but because am really sacred of meeting her, and not knowing what to say or discuss with her even thought she knows am deaf. I need advise on how to be confident in front of her and what to say to her. Also, do I need to have a pen or biro and paper wit me to tell her to write down whatever she says which i cant hear? That is my problem. May almighty God bless all that contribute positively. |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by PhockPhockMan: 12:32pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
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| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by MuguliciousMUGU: 12:40pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
Wow... I feel your pain bro... Just wait for the appointed time, the right girl will come to your side very soon |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by PhockPhockMan: 12:42pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
This guy emailed me for advice on this issue, but I decided to share it for wider contributions. Cc tomakint, Idumuose, atlwireles, Nigerianvenom, chukwudi44, priscaoge, tonte, xcolanto, millionboi, Sunnybobo3, biafranqueen, truckpusher, theassassin, jujuboy, jesusiscoming, Brownlord,noblezone, tit, Mogidi, anonimi, berem, egift, NgeneUkwenu, barcarnista, Omenka, Obiagelli, arresa, Caseless, donphilopus, koboko69, GenBuhari, kelsoft, Mynd44 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by theorbiters: 12:48pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
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| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by ERCROSS(m): 12:48pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
U'd knw this is a strong issue when u see muguliciousMUGU advising PhockphockMan... What a moniker..! **back to d matter** he shld quit being anxious and scared. He needs to kill his fears because Everything we ever wanted is at the other side of our fears There is no harm in trying, jst make sure u r open to her, free with her, discuss with her as though she was a long time friend of urs. U don't need to memorize any lines, u dnt need any poetry, infact trying too hard to impress her on the first meeting is a total turn off. I'd suggest u make use of ur mobile social network instead of a writing material , whatsapp or bbm preferably, it always feel good chatting wit sumone who is physically within ur optical reach Being handsome will be an advantage too cha, so u shld work on ur physical look * Live beyond ur fears.  |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by theorbiters: 12:48pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
Wow |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by egift(m): 12:48pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
Below is my little advice: 1. On his predicament of being Deaf: Visit any hospital for the Deaf (find one that has a good reputation of such treatment). Find out if your current state of not "hearing" has any medical remedy. If yes, find out what it will cost (so you can work towards that). If No, you can start learning coping mechanism, attitude and lifestyle to help you live your life the best you can. 2. On Inability to Woo a Lady: Don't worry on this, even people you have what will be termed a perfect life, even with gorgeous lady - also have relationship crises. What you need now is how to find a way to have a stable income and finance resources - Once you do, you will have more ladies than you can handle. You can get from any height, shape, complexion, etc, you may want. Do spending your tiny resource trying to impress girls that care nothing about you. Some of them have 5-10 boys friends who are are doing more for them than your current financial worth. 3. On your Up Coming Meeting: Regarding the meeting on the lady who you met online (and in fact regarding everyone who like you but have not met, the simplest solution is be Frank and sincere - tell them all that you think may make them leave if they meet you in person. If the person is truly your soul-mate or care that much for you, they will stick with you - but if you ambush them, when they meet you, they may be unpredictable. If that happens, you may likely lose them any will have spent wastefully. Finally, on a twisted not - when it comes to sexuality, there are two options here: - No Commitment: You met someone who want what you have and is willing to offer her body, you both exchange and off you all go (One Night Stand). - A Relationship: This is for someone you wish to spend your life with. This requires all the rigorous factors of cultivating and nurturing and partnership for life. My advice will be that you learn all that you need to cope as someone that have hearing challenges. Make money and live and enjoy your life. Forget girls matter for now - it will only drain your pocket since you are still struggling. Cheers! |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Nobody: 12:53pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
don't worry guy u can go. if she really loves you she will understand every thing. be bold go there, meet her and tell her to write what ever u know u don't understand in her statement and am sure all will be well. |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by brownlord: 12:54pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
That girl sometimes walk naked when alone She shiit like you She is human, just be yourself and don't try to impress, love comes naturally. I'm no specialist in this area though. She knows you deaf, so she knows what to expect. Last bullet, try and hustle hard, I've seen cripples pulling big chicks, money bring confidence and maturity, |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Nobody: 1:21pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
PhockPhockMan there is nothing to be scared about, i am glad she knows you can't hear her, trust me she would welcome any means of communication (paper or whatsapp /bbm). She is probably as scared as you are and thinking of the best way to impress you. Take charge bro and be your gentle self. Wish you the best. There is something about me and twins too but i will keep that personal. 1 Like |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Caseless: 1:33pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
PhockPhockMan:phock, i hope u ar not d one sha. Tel him not to b scared as the gal already knw his condition. If he allow this gal to slip off his hand, he's back to ground-zero and u knw what it means to start again with another gal; the whole circle of fear and disappointment shal b followed again. Tel him to get a whatsapp-compliant fone for her and himself , so that when he's not able to read her lips again, he can switch to d platform. Or tel him to get a hearing aid. |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by omenka(m): 1:35pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
My adviceh : strive to make money, a whole lot of it, then it wouldn't matter what your handicap is anymore. Girls will "toast" you!! |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by ALKARULEZ615(m): 1:47pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
omenka:U deserve a medal |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by pretydiva(f): 1:53pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
I fink d pen n paper wil go a long way 2 help u kip ur communication wif her. Its well |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by PhockPhockMan: 2:03pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
ERCROSS:What do mean I'm being advised? I'm a man with wife and children, I've passed that stage in life. On topic, I advise the guy to explain himself totally to girl to her understanding and possible adjustment to his situation. I wish him good luck. |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by PhockPhockMan: 2:16pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
Obiagelli:Obiagelli, did you read the topic, or you wan take style yab me? Please don't bring politics to this guy's situation. |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Cashio(m): 2:26pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
Seriously it seems the guys problem is just his inability to flow with babes. bro i think u should give them a break and focus on ur career as you are still too young to be troubled over useless bf/gf relationships that will only yield distractions, rejections, heartbreaks and their likes. focus on ur future and trust me once u become a better man, na girls go dey do the communications while ur money answers. |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Rapsainot(m): 5:39pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
how rich is your pocket? |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by PhockPhockMan: 6:15pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
Rapsainot:Even the Bible says, MONEY ANSWERS ALL THINGS, Ecclesiastes 10 vs19. |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by LogoDWhiz(m): 6:15pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
Sorry about this bro. Try and go for ear checkup. Things can get better. About the communication issue, you can get a jotter, let her write the things she wants to say, and u respond. Could be tasking but its the best way for now. If she loves u, as u two are already dating, she can do it. But the long term way out for this, is for you both to learn sign language. Or go for a miracle crusade. Thanks. |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Nobody: 6:51pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
Ugly dudes like Tinubu,OBJ,Jay Z,Bance were able to marry cox of one thing: MONEY. Make plenty of it and NL babes will start asking for your contact  |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Mogidi: 8:54pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
mikeson12: |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by VICTORCIZA(m): 9:14pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
PhockPhockMan:ppman this story is a sad one o but how come you invited nairaland political heavyweight to discuss matters of the heart. those guys are fighters not lovers nah lol ,i advice you let the romancelanders handle it back to topic,the guy should give it a shot and see what will come out of it first |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Clerverly: 9:31pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
Sorry PhockPhockMan! I suspected this long time ago! Once more sorry! |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by PhockPhockMan: 9:41pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
Clerverly:Ara gbaa gi there. |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by PhockPhockMan: 10:14pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
VICTORCIZA:I hardly know anybody outside politics section and romance section is one of my no go areas. Even though I opened the thread in romance section I still have to call people I know in politics section, thankfully, I was impressed with quality contributions from egift, Brownlord, Caseless, Omenka, Obiagelli and others. No doubt, the guy suppose have quality options on his hands. 1 Like |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Tobilastik(m): 10:24pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
I smell FP |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Caseless: 10:30pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
PhockPhockMan:phockery, u married with kids? |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Tobilastik(m): 10:30pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
PhockPhockMan: hmmm....a man with wife nd children wit dz type of monicker ..smh |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Tobilastik(m): 10:31pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
PhockPhockMan: |
| Re: A NAIRALANDER Needs Your Wise Advice, Urgently. by Caseless: 10:32pm On Nov 21, 2014 |
PhockPhockMan:hahahahahahahahah... U made me laff. |
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