SeanT21:

Talk to him.If He do not listen then its "Hit The road Jack and Don't U come back no more".

You can not be in a relationship with someone that do not appreciate YOU!!

this is a marriage, a young one at that. . . its not easy to just end a marriage like that.


@ OP

try seducing him and taking control in the bedroom. . .

Why do most men change after marriage
Kai marriage scares me everyday

SeanT21:

Talk to him.If He do not listen then its "Hit The road Jack and Don't U come back no more".

You can not be in a relationship with someone that do not appreciate YOU!!

this one never finish primary school.

Quitting a marriage because a man wont make his bed in the morning?  How many divorces are you thinking of having?

tope2000:

Why do most men change after marriage
Kai marriage scares me everyday

Everyone "changes" after marriage.

Truth is its not "change" as such but once you're married your partner doesnt feel any particular pressure to pls you anymore. Its up to you both to make compromises and adjust.

sweet mama , pls dont expect to see what u experienced in courtship in your marrige. It's not like your hubby is no more caring but he has to wake up to his resposbility as the head of the home. Pls be submissive and be a good wife, friend and sister to him. if u nid to talk to him about the issue, pls dont raise your voice u know men are like babies u shld know how to get his attention. I pray that God will give u the wisdom to run ur home and make your marriage heaven on earth.

[color=#990000][/color]
Nairalanders i believe we are all mature people.Please if u dn,t like someones opinion about an issue just add ur own opinion and stop calling people names.

That shows the king of person u are.

Thanks plappville, for your contribution, as regards ur question i do go to work that is why i get up as early as 5.30 sometimes 5am to cook before going to work, i wake up before him and when he wakes up he will hardly touch the bed. About the second round stuff he use to even go like three times when we were dating but now he seems too tired, meanwhile i do all the house work, cooking, washing of his clothes, etc inshort everything, so i don't understand why he gets so tired in that area.

Thanks plappville, for your contribution, as regards ur question i do go to work that is why i get up as early as 5.30 sometimes 5am to cook before going to work, i wake up before him and when he wakes up he will hardly touch the bed. About the second round stuff he use to even go like three times when we were dating but now he seems too tired, meanwhile i do all the house work, cooking, washing of his clothes, etc inshort everything, so i don't understand why he gets so tired in that area.

Amen Loisamy.

@Poster,

U r going abt it d wrong way.

Dating is diff from marriage. Marriage is real life and dating was d cloud 9 effect.

Cloud 9 effect ends on ur wedding day. If u want d romance in ur marriage, u hv 2 put in d effort. Tell him u need to go out as a couple. Tell him u want him 2 give u a massage. Tell him what u want.

Don't kill urself by overslaving in d kitchen. If u r nt still going 2 be doing it, 30yrs from now, don't start.

Breakfast cn be, cereal, milk & hot water. 2 mins 2 put on d table. A man is nt thinking abt d time u r slaving in d kitchen, dy think about work and coming home to a peaceful home.

Find out which foods u cn cook in 5 mins.
If u r wking & cn afford a cleaner, invest in one.

Don't make ur home uncomfortable 4 ur hubby. If u cn pick up after him, do it. If u can't, leave it & he will do it himself.

Spend ur energy nt on cleaning & cooking. Spend it on him as a man. Find out what he wants and likes & do it.

U want more lovemaking. Run a bath, put scented oil or cheap bubble bath and tell him it is for him. After, he has relaxed in d bath. Tell him what u want. If u cn, get baby oil & massage his body. Ur wish is his command.

U will be fine.

abujabooks this is cool thanks for taking time to pour me all this stuff, i will try it. please can we chat in google talk i can see ur email here.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello Nairalanders, I'm new here and i have alot of issues bothering my mind,i have been married for three months now and is not easy adapting to this new way of life, however I'm getting use to.I get up as early as 5am to cook and prepare him breakfast but when he gets up he can't even make up the bed, it makes me angry. please tell me must i be the one to make up the bed, even the bedsheets I'm the one taking care of that, he throws his shoes anyhow, steep clothes and never bother to wash them, even when i do wash them he will hardly pick them up.I'm doing all i could to make the marriage a happy one but he seems not to realise it. when he gets home in the evening and i greet him with a smile and loudly he will answer in a way that i will not hear, i will have to do it the second time again but he will shout at me saying he answered me the first time. He use to be very nice when we were dating but now he is different. Even in the bedroom he doesn't satisfy me, he makes love to me once and just fall asleep he will hardly go for round two, he actually always leaves me half way making me feel uncomfortable. Please help me i don't know what to do.

This is very funny,

Who can blame the poor guy, from your post I can only imagine the poor guys pains.

sweet_mama, what can i say, ur case is not new, am speechless no typeless

dellynash:

Thanks plappville, for your contribution, as regards ur question i do go to work that is why i get up as early as 5.30 sometimes 5am to cook before going to work, i wake up before him and when he wakes up he will hardly touch the bed. About the second round stuff he use to even go like three times when we were dating but now he seems too tired, meanwhile i do all the house work, cooking, washing of his clothes, etc inshort everything, so i don't understand why he gets so tired in that area.

sweet mama:

Thanks plappville, for your contribution, as regards ur question i do go to work that is why i get up as early as 5.30 sometimes 5am to cook before going to work, i wake up before him and when he wakes up he will hardly touch the bed. About the second round stuff he use to even go like three times when we were dating but now he seems too tired, meanwhile i do all the house work, cooking, washing of his clothes, etc inshort everything, so i don't understand why he gets so tired in that area.

so poster's got two ids?guess u did not know wen u made a mistake and posted wt d other one

whatever90:

so poster's got two ids?guess u did not know when u made a mistake and posted wt d other one

I trust you to be there when husband matters are discussed.

DavidDylan:

this one never finish primary school.

Quitting a marriage because a man wont make his bed in the morning? How many divorces are you thinking of having?

Everyone "changes" after marriage.

Truth is its not "change" as such but once you're married your partner doesn't feel any particular pressure to please you anymore. Its up to you both to make compromises and adjust.

OK,If she talks to him and he does not change his ways, she should stay in a miserable relationship?

@sean
if everyone thinks like you then ther will be no married people on earth. she's a new bride and she needs advice to help her biuld her marriage not pull it down.

@seun
na wa for u o. Ur answers make me laugh. a maid is not the solution to her problem.

@poster
my dear dont kill your self with work o. do the little u can do.

REMEMBER: all men are BIG babies, and I mean it. Just imagine he was ur new baby that u have to do everything for.

U'll be fine.

Thank God he gets up; some women have been trying to wake their husbands up from sleep without success.

affee:

@sean
if everyone thinks like you then ther will be no married people on earth. she's a new bride and she needs advice to help her biuld her marriage not pull it down.

@seun
na wa for u o. Ur answers make me laugh. a maid is not the solution to her problem.

@poster
my dear don't kill your self with work o. do the little u can do.

REMEMBER: all men are BIG babies, and I mean it. Just imagine he was ur new baby that u have to do everything for.

U'll be fine.

OK!!!

Haha!!

otokx:

Thank God he gets up; some women have been trying to wake their husbands up from sleep without success.

Na true o.

SeanT21:

OK,If she talks to him and he does not change his ways, she should stay in a miserable relationship?

this,my dear is a marital relationship,an oath taken before man and God on d altar,"for better,for worse" when its better u want her to stay,but now that it has come to the worst u want her to run away?no way dear,she has her marital vows to keep,and she must try her best to restore d joy and peace of her marriage,she must restore her past glory

a marital relationship is quite different and more advanced dan a boyfriend girlfriend relationship,all it needs is patience and endurance

@ Abujabooks,

if I have to work so hard to get love and attension from my hubby, then something is amiss. so while am doing all those things what is he suppose to be doing? your advice is very reasonable but we woman wants to be padded on back sometimes by our hubby. so helping out around the house is way of saying "thank you honey for the work you are doing around here" I really don't think that most women expects their mate to be very domestic. but small things as picking up your sock is very helpful and that is one less thing for me to worry about.

However, do the domestic work when you can and able to so that you have less complain

Quit complaning and start loving. All the best.

Dear Abujabooks,
I think you will make it being a Marriage Counselor. I hope you are married because it is the only requirement to be a credible MC. All the best.

sweet mama,so sorry abt how u feel.sure u no marriage is not a bed of roses but i tell u,u ve nothin to fear.as per makin the bed n doin the house chores u just ve to continue doin it or get a helper if its too much 4 u.wat kinda work does ur husband do?do u take ur time to ask him abt d ofc, wat happened n how he feels abt his work ,communication is very important.does he walk a long distance b4 gettin home?so many factors contribute to his attitude n if all dat is ok den u need to sit him down n express urself,tell him how u feel but don't be harsh.am sure he'l listen to u den u can strategise,if sex is gonna b twice or thrice a week.ve u tried makin ur hair every other week,makin the home the only place he can run to,lookin good on weeknds wen u home togeda n wearin sexy lingeries at 9t.freshen up b4 he gets back from the ofc n wear ur lingerie,welcome him warmly n make him feel loved,try preparin his favorite meals.hope to hear from u,goodluck.

The maid cannot solve all your issues,atleast,she can do your duty with your man.All the problems can be solved.If your husband will need to take some drugs or herbs to do second round,advice him to do.Atleast,you have the right to be happy as well.Anyways,most Nigerian men don't do more than once.

The success to all relationships including marriage is COMMUNICATION.
Letting your spouse know how you feel everytime goes a long way and works wonder
My Tips:
Breakfast: A quick cereal,toast bread,boiled eggs , a drink of orange juice will keep him going all day
Clothes : It will be helpful if you can get a WASHING MACHINE or get someone to wash them and pay ( I never washed my Spouse clothes, for me you do it now you will do it forever ).
Cleaning of the house, do it at your pace , plan and get it done and put your feet up
Love Making : If you do not reach an orgasm let him know and let him work hard and make you come, if he is to tired to erect, then getting a intimacy gadget like a Love Machine will help stimulate his senses and make him work ( Best to make love when he his less tired and very alert )

Marriage is sweet when you can handle the pressure and hold your own, forget the boring aspect and look forward in having your kids,

Communication is everything, talk about everything and anything create an electric environment with a drink of wine , Go to the cinema, to the beach, take time going out and having fun

I am married (for over 6 years) and have 3 children , but every weekend we take our kids to the pool , beach,eatery e.t.c, but once in a month we need to have me and you time ( just 2 of us ) . You just feel so  much alive and feel like a spinster again.

You need to get over the boring aspect , go for it , don't feel shy , afterall marraige is not all about slave working and keeping the house Mary Poppin Clean , it needs to be enjoyed and appreciated for all that is worth.

Enjoy and Embrase it, because its only then you can really apperciate it all

And please no MAID, cos it will only make your problem worse

Nick1:

Quit complaning and start loving. All the best.

word

I think he wasn't ready for marriage but you charmed him into it now he is psychologically Zap.e.d. The best advice to you is to talk to him
like intructor to student. Tell him is time for him to get his shit together.

My advice to any one getting married is always live with the person for atleast one year before getting marrried. My two brothers are getting married next year. I informed them about the issue, they think is wack.  You can't really say you know some one until you live with them for a while. They may visit you or you visit them and stay overnight but that means nothing much, because the person is expecting you. There have been people who have dated for years and got married and divorced the same week,month,year. It happens all the time. If not a year try 6 months of living together before marriage. If you think 6 months is too much, remember you are getting married to live with that person forever, that means you will see him/her every day. That could be boring at times for some people.

Some one once said that many marriages fail because people spend too much time preparing their wedding[wedding day] than they do planning their marriage[life].

upala opoko buru nti chiri ya.

Also before I forget. I noticed people were telling you to get a maid. Listen very well, "DO NOT GET A MAID"unless you don't mind a second wife
for him if you know what I mean. Remember all domestic work at home, the lady should take care of it. If is domestic, ladies remember is your job as a woman by tradition, abi?I don't make my bed in the morning, I don't think is a big deal. Shoes suppose to be in the closet if there is one. Making bed and throwing shoes any how is not a big deal, is just a sign of exhaustion, he is tired. This married have Zap.e.d. him up. So I recommend you talk to him, if you don't feel confortable yelling at him maybe "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED JUST YET."


So Mrs. Poster my question to you is did you live with this guy before you got married or was it just visiting? When some ladies visit their potential husband when dating, they assume he is going to change when he gets married, hell no. So the ladies that are reading this that are not married this also applies to guys, if you see a behavior you don't like, deal with it right there rather than wait after your marriage.

@ poster
As for the issues of your husband not making it to the second round, may be U have to try VIAGRA 4 him


As for the issue of domestic work, you guys can still sleep without making the bed.



***********some couple even sleep on d floor***************

IGWE USA you live in Seattle huh? That's like 4hrs. from Portland. So what's your last name?