Sagamite:


You will have to wait o.

Good things come to those who wait.

babyosisi:


That is where you ought to start then
Maybe a topic z" what is marriage is a good way to begin"

babyosisi:

If marriage wasn't a contract there wouldn't be need for a prenup in an attempt to safeguard assets from it
This is another topic

EfemenaXY:




Time waits for no one....go on Saga...spill..

Sagamite:


How is it a contract?

What are the terms of the contract? And how is it enforced?

It for instance my husband goes out and uses our home to obtain a million dollar loan and it goes bad,that bad debt belongs to both of us
The same way if he makes a million,it is ours too

Mondisweets:
and you think he didnt know the consequences of the divorce before he got married?

Sagamite:


It is thread, baby.

Give me 3 days.

Sagamite:

You said a marriage is a contract, so explain to me how it is a contract.
A prenup is a contract. That does not mean marriage is a contract except you explain how it is to me.

Sagamite:


You said a marriage is a contract, so explain to me how it is a contract.



A prenup is a contract. That does not mean marriage is a contract except you explain how it is to me.

carefreewannabe:


Sagamite, please, you know I like your solution that you proposed some time ago regarding divorce settlements but Babyosisi has a point here. This argument deserves some attention and needs to be addressed:

babyosisi:


You will understand fully that marriage is a contract when you need a divorce


A simple way to summarize this

Whenever you are required to sign on a dotted line with another individual in the presence of witnesses who may also be required to sign on the dotted lines and a justice of the peace makes a pronunciation
My dear you have entered into a serious contract
That is the time to back out if not prepared

A prenup will be unnecessary if the marriage contract was not already a recognized one

EfemenaXY:




Three days to open up a thread??!!

Sagamite:


Okay, we will come back to this.

So what are the terms of the contract?

Surely you know contracts have terms and conditions?

Sagamite:


This is so simple it is ridiculous.

My diploma in Law from Sagamu Institute of Technology is enough to respond to it.

In a sane and reasonable legal system, if 2 or more parties own a property then a single party cannot use the property to engage in any transaction unless:

- The other parties give their approval to the transaction

or

- The have pre-awarded power of attorney to conduct transaction on their behalf to that primary party without need for notification.

That is what happens in EVERY business transaction of assets or financial instruments.

So if any husband should do that under circumstances outside those conditions, he owes her money for the value of her share in the asset and all the debt from the loss should be his.

If it was conduct under those right conditions, then her share of the debt should be equivalent to the value of her share of the asset.

Simples.

Common sense in law-making.

Sagamite:


If is intellectual and full of researched information.

That is why I said it would be juicy.

babyosisi:



In summary what is mine is ours and what is yours is ours
Including all the wealth and all the children and all the property and debts we gather along the way

jennykadry:


Abeg be quiet. You are a first citizen of Nigeria...how well are you treated there?

Sagamite:


So a "contract" that normally says:

"Traditional Wedding Vows 1
I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Traditional Wedding Vows 2
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

Traditional Wedding Vows 3 (For a Civil Ceremony)
(Name), I take you to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife). Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you with all your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and I will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.

Traditional Wedding Vows 4
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my beloved (wife/husband), to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life."

Is the one you picked those rubbish from?

I would have thought if something was a "contract" it is the terms you signed up to that would be the terms of the contract?

Now you have 3 things to explain to me:

1. How you got your terms and conditions.

2. Considering the terms stated on the "contract day" (the wedding), if it is a contract, how come divorce is permissible despite the term CLEARLY stating you are not allowed out of the contract (it is for life).

3. Considering the terms stated on the "contract day" (the wedding), if it is a contract, how come one cannot sue the other for breaking the terms of the contract.

carefreewannabe:




Sagamite is trying to avoid a lawsuit. He does his best to make you all happy, that is why he says A today and B tomorrow, whatever you want to hear. He does not want to lose his fortune.

Osama disappeared because Cococandy cheated and divorced him. He lives in a remote village, lonely, suffering from depression.

Cococandy is married to her third husband in the meantime.

She is my role model.

babyosisi:
Infact many US states now recognize common law marriages where an actual marriage never took place and a man and woman co habits for years,that act of living together is judged as though it were marriage especially if there were children involved.If the relationship breaks,the woman will not go empty handed either.


s

EfemenaXY:


Amen to that.

cococandy:
this third husband aluta is my last bus stop. Perfect gentleman

babyosisi:


You don't have to say a thing,recite anything but just agree to be man and wife and swear before the justice of the peace and sign to it in front of witnesses.
That is all that is required
FYI adultery!alienation of affection etc are grounds for divorce

Contracts are not always written,as long as they are mutually understood and anyone going into marriage knows it

What is written is usually the terms of severance of the marriage contract e.g prenup

In some states,a woman doesn't get much if the marriage is under a certain number of years
And in some you have to be married over a certain no of years to get alimony
Those are conditions at divorce

If I were wrong,this discussion won't be holding
Ask Michael Jordan,Tiger woods and many others how much the contract cost them at divorce

carefreewannabe:


This is not what I wanted to know. This is something I already knew.

Sagamite:


So what did you want to know?

carefreewannabe:


Osisi gave a good example. Being married also involves some risks for women. If you set up a business and your woman stays at home with your kids and anything goes wrong, she is also affected and the money and properties she brought to the marriage. Even if she signs a contract giving you green light to do your business, the risk that you take and any negative consequences will also be split. What do you think of that? Is it fair?

Sagamite:


There is the point she needs to be what is called an "adult".

She should take responsibility for the decisions she makes. She should not pick a loser and should not award control of her finances to such a person.

If she signs a contract for her partner to do business with her finances, she should understand the risk and accept the outcome of his investments. Laws give her as an adult the responsibility to make those choices.

If as an adult you give your money to an investment management firm where you money can make or lose money, you gave the authority, you accept the outcomes. What needs to be in place is the proportion of gain or loss you take. This would only be proportionate to your investment. That should apply in marriage as well.

carefreewannabe:


I couldn't agree more but it all shows that wives also take risks when married, sometimes without having explicitly agreed to them.

For example, a husband sets up a business of his own, he has the necessary money to do so. In case anything goes wrong, he has to pay with his private properties (Ltd.). The house is half his and half hers because they both paid for the house. He has to sell the house to pay off the debt because he has no cash, he cannot sell only his half. The wife will have to move out of the house and sell off her half because if she disagrees, he will not be able to pay for his debt.

This is not about being married to a loser. Anyone's business can go bust.

Sagamite:


Yep.

That is where the law needs to be improved to separate couple's, and allow couple's to separate their, property in marriage.

It should be in the law and it should also provide a platform for them to define their own terms of interaction (i.e. prenup).

This would work for everybody including those that want to share their assets 50:50 and those that want to decide 'you leave with what you came with and put in". No more gold-digging and injustices.

That would be better for couples, marriage and society.

EfemenaXY:
Saga, if you don't mind my asking, what's your understanding of what a marriage is, or should be?

You've said quite a bit of what it shouldn't be, so it'll be interesting to know what you think it should be...

carefreewannabe:


Nice.

How do you want to "separate" a house?