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19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 8:16pm On Nov 28, 2014
So, this guy just came was giving heaven and earth reasons why he wouldn't go and sit at the back seat.
I was like, hah, before 7AM meet me here and the crowd come be like Mile 2 market for Lagos.

Only to see who dey front seat: one pretty, chocolate and a bit mature Secondary School girl... haha, no wonder!

She too understand, she close up!


That led me to put up this article:

19 FUNNY THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN A TAXI.

1. The guy sitting in the front seat (in a cold or normal day) expecting and praying that at least a lady comes to manage the front seat with him.
Then comes a guy, mtchew! Him go just like, NOT AGAIN!

2. The lady at the back (just because she dresses like Nicky Minaj) begins to form, "I don't care who's by my side" by covering both ears with earpiece and singing passionately under her breath.
The guy there will be like, What is wrong with you?

3. The business man answering a call and leaving it on speaker. Ogbeni, we nor understand your language!

4.The Two sisters (7 years and 5 years respectively) "lapping" themselves in that tight corner ( Money Saving Strategy). If e pain you, pay for them...lol

5. The coded guy in the midst of two girls trying to adjust his body and hands seriously searching for which bosom to rest his weary back on (after a busy day at work) LOL!

6. The coded girl who just says, "Driver, this your seat tight, nor be small o" as she raises her hand over and around the guys neck; incoherently saying, Your prayers have been answered.
Lol

7. The Aboki who comes in to sit close to you and you begin to wonder, "Did this man just leave the abattoir without taking a shower?
You need faith to say to yourself, IJEOMA!


8. The aged man whom at every traffic or pot hole begins to pull down GEJ government, looking at you and expecting to comment. Iffa hear!
Make him mouth come dey smell join! I'm not politically inclined!

9. The Oga Driver who carefully and masterfully arranges his mirror to be sampling a nude.ly-dressed gurl sitting close to you.

10. The troublesome lady who enters the taxi with #1000 Naira note on a Monday morning even when the driver echoed it loud and clear, "Enter With Your Change O!"

11. The guy who pays for a girl he doesn't know just because of her looks.
Hoping he (Jack) will see her (Rose) again in a more comfortable environment.
Na movie we dey act?

12. The girl who keeps staring relentlessly at you from the side...and just when summon courage to strike a convo, she replies as if she just met a loser or probably a cheat!
Some girls share!

13. The awkward moment when the girl whom at first didn't want to properly adjust her hands (knowing that the only option is to place her hand around your neck...) but later does it, but then, you're close to your junction. lol!
I heard some crazy guys go as far as the last bus stop because of this "Cooling Effect" / AC...LOL

14. The man who enters the taxi with a torn money and replies the driver after being confronted, "I nor collect am from somebody?"
Story for the gods!

15. The food seller (mama Caro) who keeps her food in the booth but keeps the bucket of FRIED FISH with her. hmm!

Make e come be say DAT day, son of man dey fast!
Hunger go carry your belle play chess.

16. The "unknown" passenger who farts in the car. #silentmess#
Driver needs to stop the car before the mess evolve into flames!

Do people still do vhat? Gush! I feel like throwing up already!
#winks#

17. The woman who wants to lap three children on one space oo, waiting for that "lucky" passenger, You, to come help her lap the smallest baby.

This ain't bad. # Ellen says, Be kind to one another

18. The Police, military or paramilitary man who enters and exits the taxi without at least saying a Thank You.

Na gun dem dey take buy motor na you never buy one.
(I witnessed this one)
I laffed to scorn.
The police is your friend, ke!

19. YOU...reading this...that would bring out your phone, i- pad or even book (inside six minutes journey) dey form Einstein or Rich boy just because... The opposite sex dey inside that taxi...lol

You will be making uncalled-for and unnecessary calls just to pass a message to the opposite sex that you've got good accent and that you're lively to hang out with, otherwise you won't be laffing on phone that way...lol


You can also add your own experiences.

245 Likes 37 Shares

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by emperorchedda(m): 8:19pm On Nov 28, 2014
Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by nickz(m): 8:25pm On Nov 28, 2014
the ones that make 20naira change seem like a million
continuously shouting "driver my change!!!,conductor my change!!,driver change mi da!!"

the staffs-this ones are well known organised motor park touts,they just enter and when driver questions them for money,the just bone face and say 'staff'
and the driver moves to the next peron......staff ko employer nisad

the customer care agents that are always shouting at the top of their voices in their native language?(pls calabar people should stop this......i'm not a tribalist)

27 Likes 5 Shares

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Harmvirus(f): 8:36pm On Nov 28, 2014
cheesy cheesy cheesy lwkmd

4 Likes

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Generalkorex(m): 8:41pm On Nov 28, 2014
Cant stop laughing
Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Zakkyoz: 8:42pm On Nov 28, 2014
The mobile pastors that will briefly preach and then collect tithe and offering as if the bus na church. Those guys dey hammer on a per second billing.

78 Likes 6 Shares

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by iyisco2001(m): 8:43pm On Nov 28, 2014
You forgot to add, the old man who expect you to move to the middle sit or back seat after you've secured the passenger seat beside the window. angry Nigerian mentality

Na dat mama with plenty pikins dey vex me pass. This is Lagos angry

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 8:43pm On Nov 28, 2014
op how sure are you

1 Like

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by boombay(m): 8:46pm On Nov 28, 2014
.
Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by saintvc(m): 8:47pm On Nov 28, 2014
I dont enter cab,
am too big for that.

I hire David oyedepo private jet to drop me at my house

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by naijaboiy: 8:48pm On Nov 28, 2014
Well,,this doesn't happen here in france undecided

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by sheikh89: 8:50pm On Nov 28, 2014
....d "nt politically inclined" prt got me rotfl...
Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Medunah: 8:51pm On Nov 28, 2014
The person who shouts while making call.

3 Likes

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 8:52pm On Nov 28, 2014
no danfo buses in France so .......

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Adeoba10(m): 8:55pm On Nov 28, 2014
*breathing heavily* see how i push my gf comot for road, rush enter frontpage.... Make i come read d post nw...

5 Likes

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 8:56pm On Nov 28, 2014
I have never entered a taxi. cry
It's either keke or okada or bus
___ definitely not taxi. When no be say, I dey go airport. undecided.
I can relate with all though, when I see kids squashed like that in one seat, I pay for an extra seat for them...sometimes I even buy them icecream...lolz. I don't know who would be moved to help my own kids tomorrow.

Lets say, I'm sowing the seed...the good seed kiss

What of the egoistic passengers?: if the driver just make mistake and behave outta turn, they would remind him that they have cars, but unfortunately their bow joint commot this morning, hence their entering a taxi...lolz

48 Likes 5 Shares

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Fabdedon(m): 8:58pm On Nov 28, 2014
pixtures pls
op entering public transport since 1905

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Highflyer3(m): 8:58pm On Nov 28, 2014
Sitting in the midst of two chubby women uncomfortably and the bus conductor yelled "Na five five per seat o"

53 Likes 1 Share

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 8:59pm On Nov 28, 2014
Na gun dem dey take buy motor na you never buy
one



grin grin grin

4 Likes

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by faithugo64(f): 9:01pm On Nov 28, 2014
You also meet people that are good in transfering aggressions,at the slightest provocation,they lash out on you as if you were the one that made their lives miserable!

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Heycube(m): 9:04pm On Nov 28, 2014
Bros u bi Cornfarm Naija Guy. Notin to add or comot. cheesy grin cheesy grin Chaiii

Thanks for making me to laf tonight.

6 Likes

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 9:07pm On Nov 28, 2014
nickz:
the ones that make 20naira change seem like a million
continuously shouting "driver my change!!!,conductor my change!!,driver change mi da!!"

the staffs-this ones are well known organised motor park touts,they just enter and when driver questions them for money,the just say 'staff' and the driver moves to the next peron......staff ko employer nisad

the customer care agents that are always shouting at the top of their voices in their native language?

lmao...omg

1 Like

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by kelechiMarie(f): 9:09pm On Nov 28, 2014
kisscan't remember d last time i entered a taxi
Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 9:09pm On Nov 28, 2014
Kachisbarbie:
I have never entered a taxi. cry
It's either keke or okada or bus
___ definitely not taxi. When no be say, I dey go airport. undecided.
I can relate with all though, when I see kids squashed like that in one seat, I pay for an extra seat for them...sometimes I even buy them icecream...lolz. I don't know who would be moved to help my own kids tomorrow.

Lets say, I'm sowing the seed...the good seed kiss

What of the egoistic passengers?: if the driver just make mistake and behave outta turn, they would remind him that they have cars, but unfortunately their bow joint commot this morning, hence their entering a taxi...lolz

As in enh... they'll be like, do you know who I am?
Chai!

5 Likes

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 9:11pm On Nov 28, 2014
emusmith:

So, this guy just came was giving heaven and earth reasons why he wouldn't go and sit at the back seat.
I was like, hah, before 7AM meet me here and the crowd come be like Mile 2 market for Lagos.

Only to see who dey front seat: one pretty, chocolate and a bit mature Secondary School girl... haha, no wonder!

She too understand, she close up!


That led me to put up this article:

19 FUNNY THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN A TAXI.

1. The guy sitting in the front seat (in a cold or normal day) expecting and praying that at least a lady comes to manage the front seat with him.
Then comes a guy, mtchew! Him go just like, NOT AGAIN!

2. The lady at the back (just because she dresses like Nicky Minaj) begins to form, "I don't care who's by my side" by covering both ears with earpiece and singing passionately under her breath.
The guy there will be like, What is wrong with you?

3. The business man answering a call and leaving it on speaker. Ogbeni, we nor understand your language!

4.The Two sisters (7 years and 5 years respectively) "lapping" themselves in that tight corner ( Money Saving Strategy). If e pain you, pay for them...lol

5. The coded guy in the midst of two girls trying to adjust his body and hands seriously searching for which bosom to rest his weary back on (after a busy day at work) LOL!

6. The coded girl who just says, "Driver, this your seat tight, nor be small o" as she raises her hand over and around the guys neck; incoherently saying, Your prayers have been answered.
Lol

7. The Aboki who comes in to sit close to you and you begin to wonder, "Did this man just leave the abattoir without taking a shower?
You need faith to say to yourself, IJEOMA!


8. The aged man whom at every traffic or pot hole begins to pull down GEJ government, looking at you and expecting to comment. Iffa hear!
Make him mouth come dey smell join! I'm not politically inclined!

9. The Oga Driver who carefully and masterfully arranges his mirror to be sampling a nude.ly-dressed gurl sitting close to you.

10. The troublesome lady who enters the taxi with #1000 Naira note on a Monday morning even when the driver echoed it loud and clear, "Enter With Your Change O!"

11. The guy who pays for a girl he doesn't know just because of her looks.
Hoping he (Jack) will see her (Rose) again in a more comfortable environment.
Na movie we dey act?

12. The girl who keeps staring relentlessly at you from the side...and just when summon courage to strike a convo, she replies as if she just met a loser or probably a cheat!
Some girls share!

13. The awkward moment when the girl whom at first didn't want to properly adjust her hands (knowing that the only option is to place her hand around your neck...) but later does it, but then, you're close to your junction. lol!
I heard some crazy guys go as far as the last bus stop because of this "Cooling Effect" / AC...LOL

14. The man who enters the taxi with a torn money and replies the driver after being confronted, "I nor collect am from somebody?"
Story for the gods!

15. The food seller (mama Caro) who keeps her food in the booth but keeps the bucket of FRIED FISH with her. hmm!

Make e come be say DAT day, son of man dey fast!
Hunger go carry your belle play chess.

16. The "unknown" passenger who farts in the car. #silentmess#
Driver needs to stop the car before the mess evolve into flames!

Do people still do vhat? Gush! I feel like throwing up already!
#winks#

17. The woman who wants to lap three children on one space oo, waiting for that "lucky" passenger, You, to come help her lap the smallest baby.

This ain't bad. # Ellen says, Be kind to one another

18. The Police, military or paramilitary man who enters and exits the taxi without at least saying a Thank You.

Na gun dem dey take buy motor na you never buy one.
(I witnessed this one)
I laffed to scorn.
The police is your friend, ke!

19. YOU...reading this...that would bring out your phone, i- pad or even book (inside six minutes journey) dey form Einstein or Rich boy just because... The opposite sex dey inside that taxi...lol

You will be making uncalled-for and unnecessary calls just to pass a message to the opposite sex that you've got good accent and that you're lively to hang out with, otherwise you won't be laffing on phone that way...lol


You can also add your own experiences.





mmmmmmmmm shocked i smell frontpage....this one is strong

3 Likes

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 9:12pm On Nov 28, 2014
iyisco2001:

This is Lagos angry

So, cause of just 3 words you wan talk. You quote the whole thing angry

4 Likes

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 9:12pm On Nov 28, 2014
naijaboiy:
Well,,this doesn't happen here in france undecided

Mr NL,
Wow, Seun send you go France?
Him try ooo...
If you return, a beg buy French kiss come...

11 Likes

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 9:14pm On Nov 28, 2014
emusmith:


As in enh... they'll be like, do you know who I am?
Chai!

Them full Aba na...
They would be inside bus o, but them go hold car key. I don't gerrit.


You trek about @kelechiMarie? undecided

8 Likes

Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Cholls(m): 9:15pm On Nov 28, 2014
My brother have u come across the people that always do this"Haaaa o ma se o mcheew every now and then.
Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by iyisco2001(m): 9:15pm On Nov 28, 2014
Stelvin101:


So, cause of just 3 words you wan talk. You quote the whole thing angry
E vex you I no wan fight tonight o, make we just leave am like that. angry
Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Nobody: 9:15pm On Nov 28, 2014
faithugo64:
You also meet people that are good in transfering aggressions,at the slightest provocation,they lash out on you as if you were the one that made their lives miserable!

Choi! Na stress cause am!
Re: 19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. by Karleb(m): 9:17pm On Nov 28, 2014
Nice thread! grin cheesy angry

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