Zeemoor:
Women needing to submit has always been a hot topic
~
It's quite unfortunate the word 'submission' has been twisted, misused, misconstrued and abused sooooo much, particularly by the progressive 'strong' women of today

There's noting 'doormat-ish' or subservient about the word and it's meaning

I've never claimed to be a "progressive, strong" or "feminist". In actual fact as far as I'm concerned feminist is the flip-side of male chauvinism. I also think it's disrespectful to say the women of today are "progressive and strong" as this is not a modern thing. History is filled with strong, progressive women including African women going back to biblical times.

As for "us" twisting, misconstruing etc. the word submission, I'm sorry to say babe you are mistaken. The dictionary is very specific about the meaning and the meaning has always been the same it has never changed.

DieeDiee:


A leader guides he does not control. That is why at work you will have a meeting and the issues are discussed by the whole even though final decision rests with the manager. A good leader is one that considers everyone's input before making a final decision.

Submission by its nature implies loss of will on your part as you bend to the other's will and compromise is not even a consideration. Because submission is a power game the honour and respect you speak of is "forced" from you (I use the word "force" loosely) not earned. When you submit to someone you give away your power. Submission can be voluntary like @midehi but it doesn't make it any less of a power relationship.

To honour and respect someone it is not necessary to submit to them. You love, honour and respect your siblings and friends don't you? Do you submit to them?

My dear, wen u av a girl dat is submissive to you,u wil blow it out dat she's d best...it dosnt mean she's subdue or a weakling,she's jus respecting ur right wish. D bible says woman shud be submissive to her husband & dat will make d man love her more.

skelefish:
@op perhaps u're not a christian, read 1 corinthians 11:3 and genesis 3:16. That's if u're a christian, because this thread bespeaks pagan mentality and extreme feminism. Op May God exorcise this feminist spirit from u.....help me say Amin...

LOL!!! Thank you but I don't need exorcism. Now as for the verses you have just given me you have to specify which bible because even modern bibles no longer encourage submission.

Ps: whether or not I go to church does not change the fact submissive r/ships are unhealthy and please if we are going to start using bibles let us not be lopsided. Don't forget the bible was written by man and at the time it was put together religion was the politics of the day and was used as means to control people and that the pope decided what goes in or not it was not G. I respect G let us not bring him in to this, alright good people?

Midehi:

My dear, wen u av a girl dat is submissive to you,u wil blow it out dat she's d best...it dosnt mean she's subdue or a weakling,she's jus respecting ur right wish. D bible says woman shud be submissive to her husband & dat will make d man love her more.

Babe, I don't think you are weak and I never said you are. I respect your decision hence I said if you are happy then it's all good. All I'm saying is that submissive relationships are unhealthy because you give power away or power is taken from you which creates a very fragile door for abuse to take place.

DieeDiee:
@scribble: the part where you are like I'll end up bitter and miserable made me laugh - Don't worry hun, I won't I promise. In fact, I've turned down 6 marriage proposals so there are men out there who love the "feminist" me

Correction: I'm not a feminist (see disclaimer) I'm just a proponent of equality and justice.

It's very dangerous for your wife to submit to submit to you financially ... What happens when you leave her for your side chick? And that sexual submission sounds dangerously like spousal rape (or very close to it) ...

Lol not spousal rape at all. Especially if she's yelling harder...

Ummm let me put things in perspective for you. Bae knows there are other chicks that want her spot but she doesn't even care because she knows the man she married.

She saw a note from the Unilag boo the other day and all she could do was laugh at how razz the note was and how big her lips are based on the lipstick print on the note.

My boo is confident. Pls don't worry on her behalf.

scribble:



Lol not spousal rape at all. Especially if she's yelling harder...

LOL!!! And I'm sure you are more than willing to oblige her, mh?

Why you entertaining other "boo"? Nigger if that were me, there wouldn't have been any laughing only explanations from your side. It's one thing for someone to throw herself at you but another for you to take the napkin home. Tell if it had been the other way around would you have also just laughed?

Submission is reciprocal and dual...

Trust me i will and can never ever be submissive 2 a man who doesn't love me nd guess wat love is submission..

DieeDiee:


Babe, I don't think you are weak and I never said you are. I respect your decision hence I said if you are happy then it's all good. All I'm saying is that submissive relationships are unhealthy because you give power away or power is taken from you which creates a very fragile door for abuse to take place.

I still dsagree wit u sayin its unhealthy & dosnt take any power frm me...wat power are u talkin abt if i may ask..are u nw sayin woman shud av power to rule over her husband? submissive is jus acceptin d right advice/decision frm d man...do u know some women will neva accept d right decision frm der man all because she's stubborn & no respect..is dat wat u call power? oshe oooooo

DieeDiee:


LOL!!! And I'm sure you are more than willing to oblige her, mh?

Why you entertaining other "boo"? Nigger if that were me, there wouldn't have been any laughing only explanations from your side. It's one thing for someone to throw herself at you but another for you to take the napkin home. Tell if it had been the other way around would you have also just laughed?

It honestly depends. Too many variables in love. Not always open and shut case.

scribble:



Lol not spousal rape at all. Especially if she's yelling harder...

Ummm let me put things in perspective for you. Bae knows there are other chicks that want her spot but she doesn't even care because she knows the man she married.

She saw a note from the Unilag boo the other day and all she could do was laugh at how razz the note was and how big her lips are based on the lipstick print on the note.

My boo is confident. Pls don't worry on her behalf.

Just looked @ your profile and saw your previous post and 90% of the people you follow are female. You are a CHEAT! I could smell it off you. No wonder you want a submissive woman, so that she will not stand up to you!!! No nigger your wife aint confident, she lacks self-love. She needs to find herself some love and leave your trifflin' A!

scribble:



It honestly depends. Too many variables in love. Not always open and shut case.

It is very much simple. It's either you love your wife or you don't. And you brother DON'T else you would have respect for her! What you love is the power you have over her and this is the danger of submission.

Midehi:

I still dsagree wit u sayin its unhealthy & dosnt take any power frm me...wat power are u talkin abt if i may ask..are u nw sayin woman shud av power to rule over her husband? submissive is jus acceptin d right advice/decision frm d man...do u know some women will neva accept d right decision frm der man all because she's stubborn & no respect..is dat wat u call power? oshe oooooo

No hun, I'm talking about self power. Power to have dominion over yourself and free will. For example to be able to decide for yourself what is right or wrong, to be able to voice anything you want freely, go where you want freely without needing permission. This does not mean be inconsiderate of your partner, for example, wake up one day and decide that you are going to the States for a year and that's it, your will just have to deal with it - no, but if you want to go out with your girls you should be able to without having to report or ask permission first.

DieeDiee:


LOL!!! Thank you but I don't need exorcism. Now as for the verses you have just given me you have to specify which bible because even modern bibles no longer encourage submission.

Ps: whether or not I go to church does not change the fact submissive r/ships are unhealthy and please if we are going to start using bibles let us not be lopsided. Don't forget the bible was written by man and at the time it was put together religion was the politics of the day and was used as means to control people and that the pope decided what goes in or not it was not G. I respect G let us not bring him in to this, alright good people?

D bible was Written by man, no doubt, but inspired by God, d past, present and d future is in the bible. As christians, it is our ultimate guide.

following

skelefish:
D bible was Written by man, no doubt, but inspired by God, d past, present and d future is in the bible. As christians, it is our ultimate guide.

Last I checked the pope wasn't G and it was the Roman Catholic church that decided what goes in and what doesn't which makes the bible a compromised source.

I agree with dieediee on this, wht makes a man a better leader than i am? Why should everything he orders be right and i cant question his orders??

Its good women are coming out these days and airing their opinions, our fore mothers were totally submissive to our fore fathers, our fore mothers would gladly kneel down while our fore fathers were eating and all those shii but did it stop our fore fathers from marrying more wives? Did it stop our fore fathers from having concubines?? NOOO!!!

DieeDiee:


I agree with all you say here, but please don't ever use the word submit because it is the opposite of what you have just said.

It saddens me that some women feel submission = love and that for a r/ship to work a woman HAS to submit herself. That is BS and my friends and I are living proof. I've had 6 marriage proposals, 2 of them even tried to veto my decision by going to my family and were promptly told that I have a mind of my own and am able to make my own decisions without being submissive. I've lived with 2 boyfriends. All my boyfriends know I don't cook or clean. They did the cooking and we had cleaners who came in 3 times a week. If I wasn't happy with what the cleaner had done or if I wanted her to do something I'd instruct my bf and he would instruct the cleaner yet they loved me and were both hurt when I dumped them. Men who are strong, confident and comfortable with their masculinity do not have a need for a submissive woman to make them feel like men. Someone said something about muslim women... in 2011 I dated an Arab Muslim from Tunisia we were together for a year and a bit. We broke up because he wanted a muslim wife and planned to go back to Tunisia and I wasn't willing to convert or move countries (he hadn't proposed we were just talking about the future). Anyway he also didn't require me to be submissive and he never made decisions without seeking my input no matter how big or small the matter.

Midehi:
I am vry submissive to my bf...wen he says do,i do...wen he says dnt,i obey...
He confessd to me one day dat he loves me so much cos am submissive & respectful

Is he shaggging your neighbour as well?

Evina:
DieeDiee, apparently you don't known the meaning of submission, neither do you understand the concept.

I was amazed when you stated that to submit to a man means you have made him a Lord/master. Yet, you went ahead to call him a leader. Are you not meant to follow the lead of a leader? Is following not submission?

It really baffles me how many so called "independent" women disregard the authority of their man, but actually have no problem being floor mats to their male bosses at work.

Gurl, the duty of a wife is to submit to the man, just as the duty of the husband is to love the woman.

If you really love him, you will submit because that is how a man understands that you love him. And please, never make the mistake of marrying a man you cannot honor or respect (this is what submission entails).

Whatever you've been drinking... Please continue drinking it in drums and tank sizes!!!

Your post is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo on point!!!.. Ah Ah na only you waka come... Why you con carry better sense like this... Chaii.

I was going to reply the OP but after seeing your reply I would have been faulted for tataulogy or even telepathic plagiarism

DieeDiee:
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a feminist, I love men and I absolutely love my bra - I'm not about to burn it for anything. I just believe in fairness and equality.

This will be kind of a long post because it was inspired by another post I had started where I was asking men for r/ship advice. You don't need deep background about that post because this is a general question and not about me and my ex. To sum up what the men said, I apparently have an ego (because I stand up for myself I guess) and there seemed to be a general consensus that I needed to put extra effort (as in more than the guy) in the r/ship. Below I will post one of the comments that was made to me and my response to the commentor. I would love to hear your take.

U know i agree with u. People who r talking about submission in relationship so highly, havent seen anything different. What works in their village, would never work in other country. In europe long time past that woman would follow her husband like a sheep. Women taking higher posts than men in some occasions, often in family woman earns more than man and achieved more in education. So theres a question why i should follow u, listen and do what u say if am gud in my life on my own? Nowadays women most of the times doesnt need u as a rock to hide behind u. They need a partner who stays in his boundaries because she expects u to see her as independent person. Ull never get more from me in relationship unless u invested the same amount. U have to earn my love. It is enough to give yourself away for somebody who is not worth it and will never give same to u back. Save your energy to your kids not to your man. Men r plenty in the world. When ill see that man is trying same as men than maybe ill think about it. As some women say- i will not kneel for any men, except my son to zip his jacket

voodoo85:


U know i agree with u. People who r talking about submission in relationship so highly, havent seen anything different. What works in their village, would never work in other country. In europe long time past that woman would follow her husband like a sheep. Women taking higher posts than men in some occasions, often in family woman earns more than man and achieved more in education. So theres a question why i should follow u, listen and do what u say if am gud in my life on my own? Nowadays women most of the times doesnt need u as a rock to hide behind u. They need a partner who stays in his boundaries because she expects u to see her as independent person. Ull never get more from me in relationship unless u invested the same amount. U have to earn my love. It is enough to give yourself away for somebody who is not worth it and will never give same to u back. Save your energy to your kids not to your man. Men r plenty in the world. When ill see that man is trying same as men than maybe ill think about it. As some women say- i will not kneel for any men, except my son to zip his jacket

AMEN sister! I like x10k
Love the last part about kneeling only to your son. And that is the only reason ANYONE should kneel - man or woman!

Midehi:
I am vry submissive to my bf...wen he says do,i do...wen he says dnt,i obey...
He confessd to me one day dat he loves me so much cos am submissive & respectful

You are probably doing it for something.

i'm not saying you shouldn't be respectful.
Heck! I won't be controlled anyhow.

1one:



Whatever you've been drinking... Please continue drinking it in drums and tank sizes!!!

Your post is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo on point!!!.. Ah Ah na only you waka come... Why you con carry better sense like this... Chaii.

I was going to reply the OP but after seeing your reply I would have been faulted for tataulogy or even telepathic plagiarism

Why do you need her to submit to you? Why is her CHOOSING to be with you instead of the million other men out there not enough show of her love? Why are you not satisfied with her sharing her life, her sorrows and joys, your sorrows and joys not enough? Why do you feel she shows her love only when she bends to your will?

Evina:
It really baffles me how many so called "independent" women disregard the authority of their man, but actually have no problem being floor mats to their male bosses at work.

You don't have a point here.
If a woman is my boss, I would still be her floor mat.
Are you saying a woman can't be a man boss in work place?

Women dont have a problem with being submissive to a man who respects and honours them. Thats how a healthy relationship normally works

Mondisweets:
Women dont have a problem with being submissive to a man who respects and honours them. Thats how a healthy relationship normally works

Very true.

VickyyB:


You don't have a point here.
If a woman is my boss, I would still be her floor mat.
Are you saying a woman can't be a man boss in work place?

Learn the art of comprehension before rudely stating someone doesn't have a point.

You mentioned I don't have a point, yet proceeded to ask me a question based on your inability to deduce my point. Are you interested in getting my point or just focused on forcing your opinion on others?

KingTom:
Very true.

hey tom

Just because a woman is independent and challenges a man doesn't mean she doesn't respect him but that she loves him and wants him to be the best version of himself.

Evina:


Learn the art of comprehension before rudely stating someone doesn't have a point.

You mentioned I don't have a point, yet proceeded to ask me a question based on your inability to deduce my point. Are you interested intested in getting my point or just focused on forcing your opinion on others?

I'm interested in getting your point. Work place and family thing is entirely two different thing and shouldn't be compared.

Are you insinuating a man being controlled by Okonjo Iweala is submissive man or rather, doing his work?.

kozaic:
Submission is reciprocal and dual...

Trust me i will and can never ever be submissive 2 a man who doesn't love me nd guess wat love is submission..

If you look up the word love, signs of love, characteristics etc. Submission is NEVER on the list