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Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 4:48pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
remsonik: Exactly and I am sure that the same men would be glad to accept a car if it was given to them by their mums. That wouldn't be an issue. 6 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Shirley07: 4:52pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
coogar:Presenting jointly may mean something else to a greedy selfish husband out there, who will think the car is his only. The proper thing to do when presenting a gift is to make the intent clear by giving the said person alone, not with groups of people. This is to avoid any misconception. If you're of that mentality, then it means anyone that wants to give you something must present it jointly to you, your parents and siblings since you're all one family. |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by coogar: 5:02pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
Shirley07: exactly! 2 become one after marriage. calling your daughter aside to present her a car regardless of the hubby's feelings or consent is a miskick! anything i receive as a married man is for me & my family. in his shoes, i wouldn't have reacted badly or start a shouting match. i would just ring my grandma in the village to bring me a young beautiful maiden that would be making my food & taking care of my general welfare. it will also amount to a grandma's gift for a maritally-stressed grandson. 2 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Matthewbriggs(m): 5:10pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
Context is every thing ... the mistake majority of people are making on this thread is that they not trying to seek out more information from the OP as to why he acted the way he did. No sane man ... I know would feel slighted if his father inlaw decides to shower his daughter with gifts. Buy her a car, build her a house or buys her a freaking island. No sane man in his right mind would feel bad. Infact I would be very grateful to my father inlaw for his kind gesture and proceed to enjoy it with my wife... because what ever belongs to my wife belongs to me and vice versa. A sane man would only freak out if this action is carried out with an ulterior motive, 1. As a ploy to undermine his role as the head of the family. 2. As a ploy to clandestinely remind him of his in ability to carry out his responsibility. 3. If he feel his father in-law has a habit or history of interfering in the way he runs his family. It's not about given someone a gift, what matters the most which we are neglecting is the role the motive behind a gift, and the way it is given, go a long way in deciding how a gift is accepted. Now Ladies shouting blue murder. should ponder on this. How would you feel when you have spent your hard earned time preparing a really nice dish for your husband to eat and your mother inlaw arrives from the village one night complaining of the fact that you are feeding his son rubbish, she says look at how lean my son has become since he married you. She now tells you that the dish you just prepared is not good enough for him that you should shove your dish in the dustbin. She steps in to the kitchen and prepares a dish for your husband and presents it to him as a gift in your presence, and your husband is like mummy thank you very much for this gift. This meal means a lot to me. Tell me honestly how you would feel as a woman. Context is every thing people. Before crying blue murder and accusing the man of been egotistic, and crucify him on the alter of Men vs Women. Our focus should have been on seeking to understand the context of his action and probing the Op to further get more details on why he acted the way he did. On getting more details can we go on to come to a conclusion. #Mathewbriggs 10 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by crackhaus: 5:10pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
coogar:Exactly, it's all about the circumstances surrounding it. I personally know of a man who bought a car each for his daughters. Two got theirs on their wedding day (different years), and the remaining one who didn't get the car gift on her wedding day got it on a birthday.. There are ways to go about these things, and the OP needs to state the full story if indeed it's even true. 2 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Shirley07: 5:26pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
coogar:And the wife would also bring in a bobo to take regular care of her. You should know it doesn't even compare. First and foremost, cooking isn't the duty of the wife alone. You as a man should be able to cook for yourself and the household, same as the wife. But in this case, the wife cooks for the husband and the husband lacks no care as opposed to the wife having no car while the husband has one. So, it's the wife that lacks something here, not the husband. I'm still of the opinion that the dad has every right to give comfort to his daughter whichever way he can. And only an insecure man would feel like a little man because of this. @craziebone, come and see your fellow men nagging because a father gave his daughter a gift, I'm sure the wife has every right to get herself a 2nd husband since the husband is making that house difficult with his nags. Don't blame for this, I'm learning from the master. 4 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by LordReed(m): 5:28pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
coogar: If it is irresponsible to give my daughter a gift then so be it and I will continue to be irresponsible even if his fragile ego can't take it. I am not coming into their home to make any decisions for them, I made mine and gave her the gift. 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Bigsteveg(m): 5:29pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
EfemenaXY: (1) stop personalising, read and give ur own opinion. (2)y are u tellin me to please, I know u b4 Relax and go read again after ur hot body don go down 1 Like |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Bigsteveg(m): 5:31pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:Am not opposing what the man did, but I felt the father in law should have carried the husband along (they can even make it a surprise). Imagine ur wife going out for morning and just driving home with a new car courtesy of her dad. 1 Like |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by coogar: 5:34pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
LordReed: a bïtch-ašs hubby would let his FIL overrule his decision. a sane hubby would flip you a bird & return the car back to you in a bubblewrap. i am the head of my household, not your daughter! Shirley07: if i could cook for myself, i won't need a wife.
her food isn't delicious enough or her care lacks quality. i can make that excuse too.
he should have done that before he married her off. after brideprice has been taken from me, i get to decide what is acceptable & what isn't, no? i am the head of my household, not my FIL. if he insists on superseding me, he can have his daughter back. 2 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Bigsteveg(m): 5:36pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
EfemenaXY: For me, it's not about the gift but the presentation, the FIL should have simply involved the man, they can even surprise the wife. 2 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Bigsteveg(m): 5:38pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
alutaa:I agree, @least carry the man along. What if the wife no get belle, so she go go her papa house carry belle cum also? 2 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 5:39pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
Bigsteveg: [s]Pray what is wrong with that? It's a gift from her father. Does your father require anyone's permission to give you a gift? Can we stop making mountains out of a no-hills for a just a sec, and look at the 'issue' morally? [/s] Scratch that. Never mind. 3 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 5:41pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
And people will still marry these ones oh. See reasoning! Gifts from your parent must pass through them as per being the 'head'. Head of gini kwa? If na only this head dey available, let me walk and live headless Atalaka. I will proudly walk headless everywhere I go with my father's car. 12 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Shirley07: 5:41pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
coogar:Of course, the wife is better off with her dad than that insecure husband of hers. And just say you're a coward little man who needs his ego to be constantly stroked to feel important. Who goes having grudges because a father gave his daughter a gift. People like you don't need a wife, you need a doll or like you said, a slave. 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by coogar: 5:45pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
Shirley07: if the gift has a malicious undertone to it, i would not stand for it. i am tired of nosey nigerian parents who love to showoff because of some ill-gotten wealth. if you dig deep into the father's past now, you would find out he didn't buy his first car until his 60s. 1 Like |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 5:47pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
Bigsteveg: Like seriously? The father has to inform his son-in-law that he wants to give HIS DAUGHTER a gift? Why? Why can't hubby learn about the gift from his wife and be happy for her? What's the problem? I see none. 5 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 5:48pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
Chillisauce: What do you expect from men who think that a baby's head is hit when you have s*ex during pregnancy? See heads without necks. The necks ran away. 6 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Bigsteveg(m): 6:03pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
EnlightenedSoul:Like I said earlier, it's not abt the gift but the manner of presentation. Even friends give each other gift so y not family. It's the presentation am after not the gift. |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Bigsteveg(m): 6:08pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:If ure familiar with married people, they'll tell u that non issues like this can be very disturbing and can tear the family apart. What's the essence of a car when u no even get happy mind ride am/or creating holes in ur home. Same go for the man also, any gift that's gonna hurt the wife should be presented in a proper way. |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 6:19pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
Bigsteveg: What was wrong with the presentation? Look at Matthew Brigg's post, and how he dramatized his gift-giving scenario with the MIL throwing the wife's food around and berating her etcetera. In your scenario, a gift was given. Finis. Unless there's something you're not telling us in the way of blatant disrespect displayed towards the husband in either word or behavior at/around the time the father decided to gift his daughter the new car, you have no standing case. In truth, the man is the one being blatantly disrespectful toward his FIL. And God forbid any man 'implode' on me for my father. That man is history, and as good as toast. 12 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Shirley07: 6:28pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
EnlightenedSoul:Exactly. 10 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Shirley07: 6:29pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
EnlightenedSoul: |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 6:29pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
Bigsteveg: If my husband couldn't be happy for me getting a car from my father, then let it be so, then we better go our separate ways! I don't do insecure men. But the man in my life would most likely think, cool, he bought her a car, now we can save our money for something else. I love smart, strong men. And if his mama gives him a gift then I will be happy for him and thankful to her. Now imagine your mama buys you a car and your wife gets angry over it, how would you react? 5 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 6:30pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 6:40pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
Nonso23: I am sure you would say the same if your mummy or daddy gave you a car. 4 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 6:40pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
Shirley07: Why don't they see that? |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Matthewbriggs(m): 6:44pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
carefreewannabe: I would call him and thank him for his kind getsure and ask him about when he is sending my own gift. This depends on a how smooth a Mans relationship is with his FIL. But if from day one the man has been given me cold shoulders, and the reason for his gift is to spite my inability to provide a car for his daughter. I would ask her to return the car to her father or join her father. Because seeing that car every day would be psychological unhealthy for our relationship. Also Every sane father in law understands that the complete acceptance of his gift for his daughter by his son in law is important. It is not compulsory but wouldn't hurt to inform him about it and run it through him. Its a sign of respect and the fact that you acknowledge he exists. I would do same if I am giving my daughter a gift of significant value. As I earlier said context is everything. 3 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by ifyalways(f): 6:49pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
My husband go rock the car, use am pose all over town sef, tell friends say he don buy him babe a new car. Lol Ego is the issue here. Or maybe the way the wife presented the gift to the hubby ie she mocked him or something. Either ways, I won't return the car, something that would ease my suffering because one "Okafor with big blokos and dry pocket" for house feels threatened oo. Na lie oo. He will have to sort his issues himself, I go jeje give am space to sulk and get over himself. 4 Likes |
Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 6:49pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
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Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 6:52pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
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Re: Man Fights Wife Cus Dad Bought Her A New Car by Nobody: 6:55pm On Dec 20, 2014 |
alutaa:i would actually be happy, more pots for my kitchen. I will even use them when she is around to show that she didn't waste her money at all To all ladies that said that there is nothing wrong, if your mother in law start buying cooking pots and plates for your kitchen, will you be happy with that?more pots for my family, what is wrong about that? I would even be grateful. What the father in-law did that was wrong is to give the car to his daughter directly without informing his son in-law. Best way to go about it is for the father in-law to present the car to them as a couple instead of giving it to his daughter directly.he is the son in-law not her new father. The gift is for her and for her benefit so i don't see why the husband has to be told prior. Must everything revolve around him and his ego? this is what happens when you get married to a child trapped in a grown man's body. He couldn't afford doing what her father did, he just has to accept that and let it go. So if it was a company car, the company was gonna have to consult her husband first before giving it to her? 5 Likes |
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