hello everyone.am new here.decided to create an account after being a long time guest

bact to the matter.the problem am been in this relationship with this guy,and its our third year of being to gether,and one thing is we quarell alot on phone and when we see we are always very happy to see each other ,that we almost forget we have/had an issue on ground.we apologise,kiss and make up and thats it..and we have met just four times this year.due to schooling and we stay far apart,and i hardly have time to leave home when on hols.

so the issue again is we have issues sharing,and i beleive a couple should always be able to give to one another even if its once in a while...for instance while in school i.e earlier this year,he had issues financially and due to the fact that hes a type thats used to spending,hardly ever goes broke the issue affected him well,which i noticed while talking to him on phone,cos he began to sound depressed,isolated himself etc.i spoke to him and told him to cheer up that atleast your in school,and its not like your sponsoring anyones life(moreover hes only broke due to mismangement not that he wast giving money oo he even spent 22k out of his schoolfees on his birthday with freinds while i was busy scrambling money to get airtime to call him almostt every minute,then he started blaming me when i was like why would he do such,and was like shebi i was the one who told him to enjoy his day wel dat i shld have adviced him,meanwhile he dint ask or tell me about it o,before going ahead),i began to share my money with him that period,at a time i made it 70/30(he got the seventy part o) but i wasnt really bothered oo cos i am the type who is good at managing.but then i realised he spends #1000 or m a day o someone who should be managing.while i who give out was spending #1000 for 4 to 5 days.i told him and he was like ha the money is small,and i was like olowo,so i reduced the amount and started sending him 1k which he had to spend for like 3 days too before i go bankrupt that semester.......so i did this,and also spoke to him inspirationally atleast to make him happy.

and even after that,he needed ro write summer exams for courses he carried over,and he got info dat a paper was 15k and he had three to write,asked me for assistance and i was like i didnt have,i even needed money for some stuffs which he was aware of oo,and all i had was 5k which i knew i couldnt spare cos i had it for 3months for rainy days which i knew i was in then......mind you all the while i needed money he had 25k with him which i knew of,but i never asked of little from him,cos i felt he wanted to aasist he would without me asking,he just joined me smh.....so i told him to tell his aunt whom he stays with cos his mom is gone...and for the fact that he brags about them being rich,(she buys a shoe over 100k,they have over 7cars bla blabla),i told him to ask her,since its small money to him na,patapata they will insult him for failing ,but he said no,after begging and convincing him that i dint want him to have extra year (imagine begging for his own good) he agreed and told her,then he toldme she said she is broke and doesnt have. and i was like abi u dint tell her,cos that money is meagre to you people since u claim money is always theree,and i know she will give u if u told her,he cut the call,i called and he was like dont i know the aunt was there that she felt bad and felt like she intentionally dint want to give him,then i was like y was the phone on speaker,thatmoreover i dint mean it that way......he vexed ooo,i told him hope he knows its because of him that it happend that it was his goodness i was stressing for,he dint even answer but just kept saying u caused it?caused what abeg
he missed his exams atlast



fastforward to this current semester,i bcame broke too but for 2days due to the fact that mymum couldnt visit the bank,i dint even tell him,he kept asking if i had eaten over the phone i said nobut didnt tell him the reason,cosi am not used to sharing my problems ,then i told him(tho he had helped me onc,gave me 3k on a certain monday,tho by the nextday i already hadmoney,but i still expected him to ask like after 3dys if i was okay already,the way i normally did and for the fact that he could spend that money a day,like what if i still hadnt been sent money thats how i wil just be gented,i just felt it was more like returning what i had once given him.funny enough that week he lost 25k to a football match in his school that same week while i was thinki-g maybe he was broke,i swallowed my saliva,didnt even bother asking him and all was like usual)...so this time i told him and he promised to sendme money to feed,but that day he didnt,i called he dint even talke about it,i was very hungry that i had to sleep like that,then when he called me and was jollying like he won a lottery,i told him and he was like ha i shldnt be angry that hes having brain issues that he sbeen forgetting things very well this days,and i was like but u can remember the date am coming to see you ba? i told him not to worry again,that he shldnt bother agian that i could take care of myself,he got angry and was like am not believing him,that am taking things out on him(like kilode who should be angry between us)........we got on bad terms again,bit madeup,and i apologised but i told him i wasnt suprised,that he should start becoming responsible,atleat get wiser as we are growing older,he has never fullfilled any thing he promised,even while goin to see him last week the deal was to bring something for one another,i brought his but he never brought mine,said he forgot,i asked why he was behaving that way and that itsa not like i ask of things from you,i havenever called to ask for something.......which is true,even if i have issues and i tell him he will jusst sigh.....it once got to a point where i told him i couldnt tell him my problem s cos he never does anything positively,not even words of advice,he would just be listenining and sapping it into his head like a nollywood movie


so today now i lost the money i needed to get airtime,fortunately for me i got an airtime via vtu,not knowing who sent it i called him and asked and said no,he asked how much told him Nd he went off,i later found out it was my sis,i called him again,we spoke and we went off,them this night he was like weldone you couldnt even assk after me,i said sorry it was cos i had no airtime,he said wat about that one and i told him i used it to call u nahun and the sender.and he was like ehn ehn aw may minutes did i spend calling him,i said u know the airtime was small that i had to call andtenk the sender,he then cut the call,called him.severallywas cutting,text him,and begged and asked what i did,he was talkn saying i talked like i dint care and i apologised that i dint mean it dat way,but he said that he dint need my apologies......i got angry texted him and told him i was tired .i couldn t kill my over a relationship and dat was all.no replies




please wat shld i do,cos am getting tired and begining to think its not worth it,tho i love him and think he does too,before i stay more years with him,send amiable suitors aways and end up alone at the end of the day??

Viewing this topic: pweetixandy (f), lala9966 ( f), Mynd44 and
2 guest(s)

please say something

Piece of sheet...u two shld grow up! and break up! I'm angry I read this sheet!

pweetixandy:
Piece of sheet...u two shld grow up! and break up! I'm angry I read this sheet!

okay

he isn't yet a man..don't break up with him..buy him inspirational books on being a man..Thank me later.. u are supposed to be d guy in d relationship

You could have summarised this thing. Incoherent!

I believe u have already made up your mind.

I don't think he loves u that much!
And he spends money way too much.
Its not bad if u spend money, but u can spend it this way if its in excess!

Keep advicing him but I'll advice u to break up

[quote author=pweetixandy post=29204275]Piece of sheet...u two shld grow up! and break up! I'm angry I read this sheet![/quote


Ahahaha....
Skimmimg and Scanning was my case!!!

Omg that's too much to read but I get the jist. You are at fault because one you play the role of his mother! He will not respect you when you don't respect yourself by putting his needs above yours. Two do you think the man can read your mind? How is he to know what you want if you don't say! "Swallowed my saliva? " well I hope that filled your belly. You need to communicate what you need and treat yourself the way you want him to treat you! Lead by example.

teefany:
Viewing this topic: pweetixandy (f), lala9966 ( f), Mynd44 and
2 guest(s)

please say something

It would take me two days to read that! Can I ask do they teach English where you study? Grammer babe sort that out pls

Well You've made up your mind!!!!
I don't like people who can't account for money they've spent ...
They're Lazy!
They don't care....!!
They keep bragging about their aunties and Uncles....plus cousins abroad....


Lastly, ..They careLess....don't be surprised he won't call you again!

pweetixandy:
Piece of sheet...u two shld grow up! and break up! I'm angry I read this sheet!

You should have dissed the thread the way you did. She expressed herself the way she understands, passing over was something you could have done, even after getting a mention.

OP, I believe the both of you are the way you are because you rarely see each other in person. Moreso, your 'man' has a lot of growing up to do. Every sane guy must learn to control his spending power, and being with a lady should bring out potential wisdom to manage finances in a relationship, be it little or excess. It's quite obvious the two of you only talk when one needs something from the other, which is not supposed to be. Learn to talk about other things that could help your relationship and finally, do not count on him for anything if he doesn't want to support you. My spending power used to be aggressive, not until I knew certain things. Talk often and learn to correct him. It is normal that you help and counsel your man when he's below reasoning.

Mehn.... That guy loves spending and his attitude is soo wrong.... maybe u should just ditch the dude

Ur boo is supposed to be a celebrity o. Thats my advice.

pweetixandy:
Piece of sheet...u two shld grow up! and break up! I'm angry I read this sheet!

u actually read everything... u deserve a medal

Is this passage two in a typical Jamb English exam?

Too long..

Sorry,didn't bother reading it.

To be honest the both of you has a lot of growing up to do , I see a picture of a young girl who has heard many stories of how girls depends and ask money from their boyfriends and want to be different , believe you me I was once like you . My dear one thing about some guys (not generalizing ) is that they are very unappreciative and they look down on girls that spends on them they prefer to be the boss in their relationship and do the spending and expect the girl to help in extreme cases ( which most girls at the end are not able to do) , do you want to know why he hasn't broken up with you yet? Because he doesn't want to lose his shoulder yet because he knows that whenever he needs some kind of things he has you to fall back on .

I don't want to start writing episodes but for your own good leave that relationship because you're dating a child that has a very long way to go, start with not calling again and don't even tell him you've broken up but set your mind on it and whenever he calls that's if he ever does it will be because he has an issue that he wants you to help him with and then he'll come up with he's you know I love and was just angry ever since story and he might even tell you he's angry with you , then you'll just ignore him.

All of this just because you accepted being in a relationship.
Babe! It's obvious he doesn't love you and is probably using you for monetary gains.

It's hightime you broke up with him (three years ain't three days) and move on with someone else who would add meaning to your life.

LogoDWhiz:
You could have summarised this thing. Incoherent!

I believe u have already made up your mind.

I don't think he loves u that much!
And he spends money way too much.
Its not bad if u spend money, but u can spend it this way if its in excess!

Keep advicing him but I'll advice u to break up

@teefany

To be really honest with u after reading all. Through THAT GUY DOES NOT LOVE YOU
I have from experience been in relationships not cause I really love the babe but acted like I did and if these. Babe could see through. My action. They. Would have been a ble to know.
I believe real love is. In the action not just words,I dated a girl that really loved me then and foolishly broke up with another that was just after my money I knew it but continued cause I wanted to lash her at the end I lost both without even lashing her.
Bottom line break up and move on don't. Be emotionally attached to him you deserve something better and I do appreciate ladies like you.
LogoDwhiz has said it all

ireneony:
I will advice u to quit the relationship, your relationship is not healthy.
what i learn from your relationship with the supposed guy is;

You are always the one to apologized first, which is not always good

You play the role of your boyfriend. once a guy start asking for money and you continue to give him money, he will never stop asking you. real men don't ask their spouse for money, you know why, is because of their alter ego, they take the responsibility as their duties to take care of a woman. Am not disputing the fact you should not lend money to your man, except you knows when he has money he always gives you, then when his broke, it will be of great use to help him out.

You suffer from low self esteem, why?...why because you want a man to validate what you should do, you don't need to please him every time to know he loves you.

You said something about his aunt, dear i can boastfully tell you that, the very day you called him and told you he was with his aunt that why he was ending your call....that was a big fat lie, he was with his main chick. when you call a guy, and he continuously end your call that means he is with a lady, you don't need a prophet to tell you that. Your boyfriend is not from a rich family "na wash"his probably broke. Let me ask you, has he ever taking you to greet some of his relatives, if no....then where did you get the conclusion his from a rich background.....i laugh in Chinese

How can you be dating for three years, and you have only met on six occasions......that is so unhealthy. With what you wrote, i can see you hold your relationship in a high esteem which means you value the relationship, but that of your boyfriend i can tell he does not value you.

You are scared of heartbreak my dear, heartbreak is just a phase, a time will come when you will be happy you made the right decision.

Conclusively, i will advise you to breakup with him cos he is not worth dying for. it breaks my heart to see how some guys can be so heartless towards a lady that sacrifices everything for them and at the end of the day, they end up maltreating their lady.
This is why i dont believe in long term relationship and i don't encouraged when a lady lives with a man that has not paid her bride price, doing all these does not mean he will marry you.
when you find the right person, a prophet don't need to consult the holy spirit to tell you, you found Mr. right.
One of the problem with us women is, trying to change a man that can't be changed. i laugh when i hear women says, he is going to change because of me, better leave him now and not end up regretting later in your life.
op, use your medulla oblongata.......

BREAK UP WITH HIM AND LEAVE THE SCUMBAG ALONE

@ireneony AM LOVING U for this write up VERY VERY SMART
Infact the best on this topic....you have answered it all
THANK YOU

ichapi55:


@ireneony AM LOVING U for this write up VERY VERY SMART
In fact the best on this topic....you have answered it all
THANK YOU

thank you.......am really in my mode, I couldn't sleep cos I slept during daytime, since i have nothing doing, I have to take my time to reach out my words of knowledge to her. Everyone deserves to loved and not be lust after.

hw do u expect one to finish reading this sheet. kids shudnt be in relationships. jst hear ur self. sending a guy who blasts his own money money. u must be a mumu o. dnt me surprised he spends ur money on anoda babe. dnt face ur book u hear

If you were my sister, I will make sure you've left that guy since. I'll simply wait for him for any bullshit, I'll treat his f`uckup for him. Rubbish guy.


But Op, I see compatability in us.

Your parents work soooo hard, under rain, under the harsh sun to provide you with the little they can afford to ensure you are comfortable and have no reason to be distracted from your studies and all you are doing to repay their effort is take up the financial responsibilities of an irresponsible young man all in the name of Love which infact is mere stupidity if you must be told the truth...

My dear fear God oooooo...

Roland17:
Your parents work soooo hard, under rain, under the harsh sun to provide you with the little they can afford to ensure you are comfortable and have no reason to be distracted from your studies and all you are doing to repay their effort is take up the financial responsibilities of an irresponsible young man all in the name of Love which infact is mere stupidity if you must be told the truth...

My dear fear God oooooo...

am sure na d guy first shine her conjo na y

lala9966:


It would take me two days to read that! Can I ask do they teach English where you study? Grammer babe sort that out pls

grammer

That's how idiots spell "grammar." like omg your grammer is so bad!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=grammer

First off, I love the way you express yourself in words. I enjoyed reading your piece. It was clear and you itemized the challenges pretty well.

Since you typed that yourself, I want to take it for granted that you are a very smart lady. Being smart however is no guaranty that we can't do stupid things sometimes.

Your last paragraph states that you love this guy. This I will not blame you for. There really need not be a good reason to love someone but honey, I have a newsflash for you: Its not a must to be with everyone we love.

Loving someone doesn't entail spoiling or babying them. If you love someone, sometimes you allow them to learn the hard way. He spent his school fees on frivolities, he should be left to take responsibility for its consequence.

I agree with some of the contributors above that this guy is a tad bit immature and based on the 'evidence' you presented he doesn't seem to be the best guy for you.

I won't ask you to leave him outrightly. That decision is yours to make but you are smart, do the smart thing and move on with your life.

PS: If I have a son who acts that way and my wife pampers him the way you are to him, I would be very disappointed in my wife.

You are a young lady who should be living her life and possibly dating not attaching yourself to an immature baby.

You are not his mother so stop all that mothering nonsense you are doing because you are not helping yourself or your boyfriend.

You are not his wife so free yourself from his problems and mind your own life.

Please don't involve yourself in relationships where you have to mother a man and neglect yourself. Learn to value yourself and your time refuse any man who wants you to take on his responsibilities and fix his life.

Enjoy your life, date men not sleep with them get to know who is worth your time and who is not. About this relationship quit already if he comes begging please keep the door locked figure out what you want in a relationship and what you don't want.

ireneony:
thank you.......am really in my mode, I couldn't sleep cos I slept during daytime, since i have nothing doing, I have to take my time to reach out my words of knowledge to her. Everyone deserves to loved and not be lust after.

@ireneony
It was nice and thoughful of you hope she takes the advice....am hopping so
Just by reading some lines she wrote I knew she was not really loved hope she has the heart to move on.
IN the interim is. That you on your profile?I saw a different pics before I slept

Owk,frm ur story itz obvious the guy is a baby,u give im ur money and u starve urself and blah blah blah........i can't advice u to dump im and i can't also advice u to remain in the relationship,jst do what u urself think is best for u,sit and think abt the odds n gains if u stay wif im or leave im.

Boys will be boys, I guess! If you are really fed up as you say, you berra move on and abeg don't date your agemates, most of them are not on the same wave length as you are.... I no say go find sugar daddy o but all this stoopid bickering, going back and forth on the same things gets old abeg.

Fights are normal in a relationship but they should be meaningful fights, if you wanna be in a serious relationship, get with a serious person with similar mindset as yours.... Not this school love rubbish!

ichapi55:


@ireneony
It was nice and thoughful of you hope she takes the advice....am hopping so
Just by reading some lines she wrote I knew she was not really loved hope she has the heart to move on.
IN the interim is. That you on your profile?I saw a different pics before I slept

yea....the former was that of my sis