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Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS - Romance - Nairaland

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Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by emerich(m): 11:32am On Dec 26, 2014
Matured minds pls, I met this pretty lady while in my internship program in a FMC in the north, I was out of a relationship for over 2 yrs due to my tight university schedules. Prior to meeting this lady I had been into some relationship but just for fun due to some missing ingredients I crave for. Was looking for a friend, companion, love, n mother to my unborn kids, but most ladies are just after fun and are far from being homely.So I got engrossed in my work and cared less about ladies and was criticized so much about that even from my medical colleagues at work and friends, some that never knew my sexual prowess thought I was even gay. While at work a young IT student was posted to my unit, seeing her I knew she was a sickle cell patient due to coloration in her eyes but she was beautiful and looked healthy, I knew immediately that I liked her, I was attracted to her but I had to keep my distance, she noticed but still became friendly, I was prompted to start a conversation with her, I finally invited her over to my house, something I havn't done since my internship program. She came over and we talked, I found out she was so intelligent and sweet, I had to let her go being the first day, we then became very close friends, I asked her out and she was very happy then she told me she was SS, I told her l knew, she was surprised because she looked even healthier than those with normal genotype. I kissed her we became intimate, it was a feeling that was not quantifiable, she was good in every sense of being romantic, she matched my vigorous libido, my fear though cos she was sickle, we had pre-intimacy for hours and it was Like something I have never experienced, I was scared of having sex with her, have heard of SS that slumped while having sex but when we did eventually she turned out to be the best mate I have ever had matching my voracious quest, she was neat in an out without any undue odor emanating from her which was a complete turnoff to me, she was a friend and a lover, understanding, appreciates the little I gave her, very sensitive and my ideal kind of a wife material and Godly, yes Godly, I insisted we become intimate against her will, which she finally was grateful.
My worry now is she loves me so much and wouldn't want to cause me pains due to her statue, and am also worried about losing her due to death during childbirth and can't bear the suffering she may go through later in life, and my parents would never accept an SS as a bride, we have been apart for a year now but the love is indisputably present as am yet to find another lady despite being away from her irrespective of my numerous female admirers and I need to settle down soonest because am comfortable and would want to start my own family.
Please what do I do my fellow NL, your individual contributions would be appreciated.
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by major466(m): 11:35am On Dec 26, 2014
It's not advisable to marry someone with genotype ss. It will lead to sorrow and hardship in the end.

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Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by Nobody: 11:36am On Dec 26, 2014
If its OP desire to be with her i see no reason why SS must stop ur will.She is healed of her sickle cell in Jesus name. Take her to hospital for diagnosis and come back for testimony.
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by datguru: 11:42am On Dec 26, 2014
Run for your life
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by Nobody: 11:43am On Dec 26, 2014
There are a number of SS who are able to weather the storm and since you are a medical doctor you might be able to manage the illness properly and contain it , since its a lifetime decision you may want to think through it properly,however if you aren't AA please just forget it and move on

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Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by emerich(m): 11:45am On Dec 26, 2014
major466:
It's not advisable to marry someone with genotype ss. It will lead to sorrow and hardship in the end.
Thanks but am AA genotype, my siblings would be AS, and with the resent trend in science don't you think in the near future there would be a breakthrough in molecular DNA as regards SS.
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by kamikaze2458(m): 11:46am On Dec 26, 2014
Dude i get it u had sex and all of that, but if you luv her let her go. Cos u'll cause her nothing but pain later on in life.

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Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by segend(m): 11:46am On Dec 26, 2014
bisous:
There are a number of SS who are able to weather the storm and since you are a medical doctor you might be able to manage the illness properly and contain it , since its a lifetime decision you may want to think through it properly,however if you aren't AA please just forget it and move on

EOD, she has said it all. but personally, i will advise you to run

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Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by Nobody: 11:47am On Dec 26, 2014
For the sake of ur unborn child,,just let it slide.

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Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by emerich(m): 11:48am On Dec 26, 2014
bisous:
There are a number of SS who are able to weather the storm and since you are a medical doctor you might be able to manage the illness properly and contain it , since its a lifetime decision you may want to think through it properly,however if you aren't AA please just forget it and move on
Am AA dear, I may face serious stigmatization from both family and friends, still confused about it.
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by Melahou(m): 11:48am On Dec 26, 2014
Save yourselves the pain and agony.

Most tyms in life the person you hope to marry may not be the one you end up marrying.

Human proposes and God disposes.

2 Likes

Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by ogaofficer(m): 11:50am On Dec 26, 2014
bisous:
There are a number of SS who are able to weather the storm and since you are a medical doctor you might be able to manage the illness properly and contain it , since its a lifetime decision you may want to think through it properly,however if you aren't AA please just forget it and move on
i concur with you.

1 Like

Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by emerich(m): 11:52am On Dec 26, 2014
kamikaze2458:
Dude i get it u had sex and all of that, but if you luv her let her go. Cos u'll cause her nothing but pain later on in life.
It's not about the sex, I feel a sense of belonging with her, there is this sense of happiness, joy, don't know to explain but I feel if u hv been in love u would get to know what am saying better, we haven't been together for over a year but each time she calls I feel alive.
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by Nobody: 11:54am On Dec 26, 2014
If you are AA then you have 'nothing' to worry about.

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Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by emerich(m): 11:54am On Dec 26, 2014
Melahou:
Save yourselves the pain and agony.

Most tyms in life the person you hope to marry may not be the one you end up marrying.

Human proposes and God disposes.
True bro, I so agree with you on this. I would take it upon myself to cater for her needs if I eventually don't end up being with her.
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by kamikaze2458(m): 11:54am On Dec 26, 2014
Let it slide bro.

1 Like

Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by Nobody: 11:56am On Dec 26, 2014
emerich:

Am AA dear, I may face serious stigmatization from both family and friends, still confused about it.

Yes that's very true ,you will face stigmatization but the truth is , people hate minding their biz,even if she was AA they'll find another reason to stigmatize you,so its about you ? Can you withstand the storm for her sake ? Will it be worth your while ? Do you love her enough to stand by her when the chips are down?
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by pretydiva(f): 11:57am On Dec 26, 2014
Since ur AA n she's SS, I blieve u both can get married,dat is if u wil b able 2 stand n b strong 4 her tru her trying tym..talk 2 ur parents abt it,who knows dey might accept her..gud luck
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by Nobody: 12:01pm On Dec 26, 2014
emerich:

It's not about the sex, I feel a sense of belonging with her, there is this sense of happiness, joy, don't know to explain but I feel if u hv been in love u would get to know what am saying better, we haven't been together for over a year but each time she calls I feel alive.
So you are a Living dead b4?
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by emerich(m): 12:02pm On Dec 26, 2014
pretydiva:
Since ur AA n she's SS, I blieve u both can get married,dat is if u wil b able 2 stand n b strong 4 her tru her trying tym..talk 2 ur parents abt it,who knows dey might accept her..gud luck
Thanks, the parents thing would pose the greatest challenge.
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by Nobody: 12:06pm On Dec 26, 2014
emerich:

Am AA dear, I may face serious stigmatization from both family and friends, still confused about it.

That I completely cannot relate with. How can you be stigmatized because a lady you choose to marry is SS?

You said it yourself that she looks great, so how is it a social stigma
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by polosco(m): 12:11pm On Dec 26, 2014
There is nothing God cannot do, if ONLY you can believe God, He can heal you. Until Then stay safe by not marrying an SS or AS. BUT IF GOD SPEAKS TO YOU, you can stand on God's word and YOU WILL NEVER BE PUT TO SHAME.

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Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by theM16: 12:19pm On Dec 26, 2014
I'm sure AS pts r not as bad as SS. If there is anytin to worry abt its d gurl and not ur kids per se. Its hard to advice stuffs abt relatnshp sha. U knw as e dey do person na. If u tnk u can face her troubles gud. If nt, move. U cnt b half hearted in a rltnshp

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Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by emerich(m): 12:25pm On Dec 26, 2014
striktlymi:


That I completely cannot relate with. How can you be stigmatized because a lady you choose to marry is SS?

You said it yourself that she looks great, so how is it a social stigma
With the Nigerian mentality, dating an SS is regarded a taboo, I feel they deserved to be loved as well, It's only the few educated ones that even stands a chance of a decent life.
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by temitemi1(m): 12:28pm On Dec 26, 2014
Who suppose to be givin an advice here, when u calld urself doctor u are now askin a layman like me what I sud be asking u..

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Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by peeparty(m): 12:28pm On Dec 26, 2014
Is there anything God cannot do?op think about those word,one should fear a king that was born without sexual intercourse. tk it to him in prayer with a positive heart

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Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by mesoade(m): 12:32pm On Dec 26, 2014
If you both get married.
.
She might die before she reaches 45,which will cos you agony loosing the mother of your kids
.
Your kids will be in agony loosing a mother
.
Your kids will live life without d care of a mother and you being a doctor will have little time for them,hence higher chance of being wayward
.
Your kids might also be SS,giving you double wahala.
.
If you try to re-marry,what chance is it that the gals in question that you'll marry won't maltreat your kids.
.
Are you ready to go against the instructions of your parents?
.
.
.
Bro,i think it's better you let it slide

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Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by Nobody: 12:33pm On Dec 26, 2014
emerich:

With the Nigerian mentality, dating an SS is regarded a taboo, I feel they deserved to be loved as well, It's only the few educated ones that even stands a chance of a decent life.

I pride myself in being a 'typical' Nigerian guy with the 'typical' mentality but despite this I find it very strange when people feel stigmatized when they go out with someone who is SS.

My only challenge with one who is SS or even AS is the possibility of choosing a spouse who would put the kids at risk.

In your case, such risk does not exist. Considering that she looks pretty healthy, I am quite sure people wouldn't know she is SS unless you choose to tell them.

1 Like

Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by Nobody: 12:42pm On Dec 26, 2014
mesoade:
If you both get married.
.
She will die before she reaches 45,which will cos you agony loosing the mother of your kids
.
Your kids will be in agony loosing a mother
.
Your kids will live life without d care of a mother and you being a doctor will have little time for them,hence higher chance of being wayward
.
Your kids might also be SS,giving you double wahala.
.
If you try to re-marry,what chance is it that the gals in question that you'll marry won't maltreat your kids.
.
Are you ready to go against the instructions of your parents?
.
.
.
Bro,i think it's better you let it slide

The life average life expectancy in Nigeria as @ 1990 was a mere 46 yrs.

Does that imply that no Nigerian would live beyond 46 or that Nigerians should not get married because of that?
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by emerich(m): 12:43pm On Dec 26, 2014
temitemi1:
Who suppose to be givin an advice here, when u calld urself doctor u are now askin a layman like me what I sud be asking u..
Bro we May not know all, no man is an island.
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by FLAWLES(f): 12:54pm On Dec 26, 2014
Eiya
Re: Advice Pls: Am In Love With An SS by emerich(m): 1:04pm On Dec 26, 2014
striktlymi:


I pride myself in being a 'typical' Nigerian guy with the 'typical' mentality but despite this I find it very strange when people feel stigmatized when they go out with someone who is SS.

My only challenge with one who is SS or even AS is the possibility of choosing a spouse who would put the kids at risk.

In your case, such risk does not exist. Considering that she looks pretty healthy, I am quite sure people wouldn't know she is SS unless you choose to tell them.
They would my guy due to eye coloration, they appear jaundiced I.e yellowish, but that's not the issue, am more concerned about the plight of my children, wouldn't want them to be selective in whom they May chose to fall in love with being AS esp the females.

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