AZeD1:

Well that's my theory. Besides when ever people give you vague answers like "When you marry, you'll understand bla bla", it means they have no point.

I agree with you in most cases

Just like when you grow up bla bla

AZeD1:
Nope.
Your friend is lazy and insecure. The reason he wants you to stop is because he doesn't do those things and has probably told his wife that "Men" don't do such. You doing it exposes him.

gbam.thats all

AZeD1:

Well that's my theory. Besides when ever people give you vague answers like "When you marry, you'll understand bla bla", it means they have no point.

correct

striktlymi:


Cool!

I have hands off already.

Tempted to not visit him at home again.

please don't


if you see men with proper home training its not hard to know. Mothers touch is showing in his life



keep it up op don't stop because of one insecure bush meat friend of yours

SAMBARRY:
please don't


if you see men with proper home training its not hard to know. Mothers touch is showing in his life



keep it up op don't stop because of one insecure bush meat friend of yours

Happy New Year dear!

I share your views, I have already said something similar but when I give this scenario some deeper thinking, I come to understand the husband.

Many women wouldn't be able to help it but to love such a gesture, me included, and that would make some husbands / boyfriends jealous, just like some women could get jealous in such or a similar situation.

I suspect that the husband is jealous.

Obviously

carefreewannabe:


Happy New Year dear!

I share your views, I have already said something similar but when I give this scenario some deeper thinking, I come to understand the husband.

Many women wouldn't be able to help it but to love such a gesture, me included, and that would make some husbands / boyfriends jealous, just like some women could get jealous in such or a similar situation.

I suspect that the husband is jealous.

AZeD1:
Nope.
Your friend is lazy and insecure. The reason he wants you to stop is because he doesn't do those things and has probably told his wife that "Men" don't do such. You doing it exposes him.

Thank God ds is coming from a Man.
Good Point Sir.
Some of My hubby's close friends(married)does it too when I'm not close(maybe busy in the bedroom or outside) clears d plates and even clean the table and I don't see anything wrong with it, I even tease them.
I'm not too comfortable when it's coming from those not too close to us though.

I thought it was good manners to take your plate to the kitchen after you have finished eating, sometimes to even wash the plate.
Even when I visit my kids sisters house I take my plate and begin to wash it and any other plates in the sink before she comes running to take it off me.

Most times your host will take the plate off you and tell you not to worry . . .

But as he has made a big deal out of it for whatever reason, then respect his request and either do as he has requested or you stay in your house.
Dont let them use you to run their marriage. They have issues which you probably dont know about so just fillow their request.

mployer:

I even do that in the restaurant sometimes

Unknowingly tho.

Like when you don't have money to pay?

AZeD1:

Like when you don't have money to pay?

lol

Even that won't save You if You don't have money to pay.

chaircover:
I thought it was good manners to take your plate to the kitchen after you have finished eating, sometimes to even wash the plate.
Even when I visit my kids sisters house I take my plate and begin to wash it and any other plates in the sink before she comes running to take it off me.

Most times your host will take the plate off you and tell you not to worry . . .

But as he has made a big deal out of it for whatever reason, then respect his request and either do as he has requested or you stay in your house.
Dont let them use you to run their marriage. They have issues which you probably dont know about so just fillow their request.

Thanks!

mployer:

I even do that in the restaurant sometimes

Dead

crackhaus:

It's not wrong to put away dirty dishes when you visit someone, neither is it a sign of proper upbringing if you do (I see that sentiment being thrown around here).

It's quite simple really - you visit your friend, his wife serves you a plate of food (on the dining table probably), then you finish having your meal but instead of heading back to the sitting area, you pick up the plate and head into the kitchen.

Please tell me you're seeing the problem here...

It's either you're much too comfortable in that house, or you overestimate the kind of friendship you have with your friend and his wife.

Now imagine you are not the only visitor, and they all finish their meal (served by the hostess of course) and make their way to the kitchen - each and everyone of them...
Would you understand your friend's POV better now?


My only grouse with your friend is in the way he voiced his displeasure by sending a message.
Usually it happens that when you're in the process of returning the used dish(es) to the kitchen, a normal friend would ask you politely then and there not to bother but to come join him in the sitting room/continue your conversation if you both were having one.

You answered the question with the emboldened part. Of course his friend did not address it there because he does not want his wife to hear it. It would be better if his wife simply thought that his friend stopped doing it for whatever reason her husband gives her.
@OP do as your friend wishes. He obviously does not want to give his wife the impression that there are men who can actually take dishes into the kitchen after they eat from it

striktlymi:
A little background info...

A dear friend sent me a message that I should stop doing those things exclusive to married couples whenever I come to visit his household.

To say I was shocked to get that message would be an understatement. I kept my cool and asked him as nicely as I could muster what my crime was.

He smiled and told me that whenever I come to visit and I am presented with food, I should not appreciate his hospitality by helping the wife take the dirty dishes to the kitchen.

He said that sends the wrong message to the wife and it is one area that should be left for him to handle. I totally did not understand him and he said I would understand when I eventually get a wife of my own.

Recalling my conversation with him still leaves me rather confused, hence my question: Is it improper to help put away the dirty dishes in the home of a married friend?

I share your sentiments and I've actually been involved in one or two situations like this. But honestly, it's his turf. If he wants it that way in his own house, then it should be that way. You really have got zero control over that.

soulglo:


You answered the question with the emboldened part. Of course his friend did not address it there because he does not want his wife to hear it. It would be better if his wife simply thought that his friend stopped doing it for whatever reason her husband gives her.
@OP do as your friend wishes. He obviously does not want to give his wife the impression that there are men who can actually take dishes into the kitchen after they eat from it

Still, you could be very wrong there. You clearly don't know the friend nor his wife enough to arrive at this conclusion.

goofyone:


I share your sentiments and I've actually been involved in one or two situations like this. But honestly, it's his turf. If he wants it that way in his own house, then it should be that way. You really have got zero control over that.

I agree!

soulglo:


You answered the question with the emboldened part. Of course his friend did not address it there because he does not want his wife to hear it. It would be better if his wife simply thought that his friend stopped doing it for whatever reason her husband gives her.
@OP do as your friend wishes. He obviously does not want to give his wife the impression that there are men who can actually take dishes into the kitchen after they eat from it

This is the line of thought that's most obvious, it may not be the exact reason - but okay.