Ohwhy:
You all have spoken well. But I wanna say that if my personality was as bad as some people here termed it, I won't have bothered posting this topic. I was frm a poor background when he met me, I never covered this up like most grls would. Infact I showed him where I live the first day we saw each other. He called me humble. Even with my kind of background, I was never materialistic. He loved this about me. (He had the guts to refer to me as poor after we tied the knots)
My kind of person, am a shy person who can hardly look at a person's face for more than 10 seconds. Am not confrontational ( now he wishes I was as aggressive as his friend's wife) I get scared easily I find it hard to ask questions most times . I don't like outrageous kinda dressing, I like to keep it simple, he loved this about me (now he calls me a small girl). Am not rude, am not insultive as I was raised well by my parents. I knew him well and he knows me well. The years of courtship was never filled with pretense because we spent a lot of time together. There was no room for one to pretend.

Sorry for all you have to go through, perhaps his behaviour is sour grapes from the list of traditional wedding demands which you couldn't protect him from? For the record, I find his utterances and general demeanour repulsive, but, please answer my question.

Yea but in your first post, you made it sound like there was something about you that he knew and went ahead to marry you inspite of.

You didn't explain that part that's why folks jumped to their own conclusions.cant blame them.

Well if he's beating you up , you better find your way out for your health and life's sake.

If your problems are mainly adaptation issues,maybe consider counseling and give it time to see if there will be improvement.

But if he really wants to divorce,are you going to stop him? There isn't much you can do except dust yourself and move on.
You can't hold someone who wants to leave at all costs.

Ohwhy:
You all have spoken well. But I wanna say that if my personality was as bad as some people here termed it, I won't have bothered posting this topic. I was frm a poor background when he met me, I never covered this up like most grls would. Infact I showed him where I live the first day we saw each other. He called me humble. Even with my kind of background, I was never materialistic. He loved this about me. (He had the guts to refer to me as poor after we tied the knots)
My kind of person, am a shy person who can hardly look at a person's face for more than 10 seconds. Am not confrontational ( now he wishes I was as aggressive as his friend's wife) I get scared easily I find it hard to ask questions most times . I don't like outrageous kinda dressing, I like to keep it simple, he loved this about me (now he calls me a small girl). Am not rude, am not insultive as I was raised well by my parents. I knew him well and he knows me well. The years of courtship was never filled with pretense because we spent a lot of time together. There was no room for one to pretend.

Ohwhy:
You all have spoken well. But I wanna say that if my personality was as bad as some people here termed it, I won't have bothered posting this topic. I was frm a poor background when he met me, I never covered this up like most grls would. Infact I showed him where I live the first day we saw each other. He called me humble. Even with my kind of background, I was never materialistic. He loved this about me. (He had the guts to refer to me as poor after we tied the knots)
My kind of person, am a shy person who can hardly look at a person's face for more than 10 seconds. Am not confrontational ( now he wishes I was as aggressive as his friend's wife) I get scared easily I find it hard to ask questions most times . I don't like outrageous kinda dressing, I like to keep it simple, he loved this about me (now he calls me a small girl). Am not rude, am not insultive as I was raised well by my parents. I knew him well and he knows me well. The years of courtship was never filled with pretense because we spent a lot of time together. There was no room for one to pretend.

You can never be sure. Especially if the pretense (to still be into you) started later in the relationship.

If you feel he didn't pretend, then you need to find out what went wrong.

If you can't point a finger on anything as the cause, then he's probably having an affair. Perhaps with his friends's wife.

cococandy:

Well if he's beating you up , you better find your way out for your health and life's sake.

Hahhahhahhaha. Voila, solipsism. Chai. See person mama-to-be.

ileobatojo:


You can never be sure. Especially if the pretense (to still be into you) started later in the relationship.

If you feel he didn't pretend, then you need to find out what went wrong.

If you can't point a finger on anything as the cause, then he's probably having an affair. Perhaps with his friends's wife .

Yea. Seems odd he wants wifey to be like his friend's wife.
More so as the said woman is aggressive.
Why that of all things?

I would think OP is the ideal kind of woman men like(according to NL) quiet and submissive. Humble and naive. Decent dressing and simple.

Or maybe he felt that was what he wanted until he met Beyoncé next door and Amaka in the house is no longer attractive.

OP if that's the case it will clear from his eyes soon enough. But no one says you have to stick around for that. THE CHOICE IS YOURS AlONE TO MAKE

@cococandy, where did she say he beat her up

Never mind.




@Timbuktou, had to check up the meaning of solipsism. Loooool. @TV01 pls tag me in your writeup sir. Am interested.

TV01:

The brother tried 0 jare - six years for one fish. Jacob sef only did 7 years for Rachel !

Many women nowadays come with a huge sense of entitlement, especially if lauded as fine, but often for no discernable reason ! He obviously considers her a catch, so put up with her nonsense to seal the deal. Now she's "caught", and it's showtime, she needs to play the role ! The better she plays it, the more fulfilling it will be. I think she can turn this around wioth a simple "attitude adjustment"


The best thing she could do for herself, them and their unborn child is to take a long hard look at herself and to get to grips with the situation as I've discribed.

His threats are just flexing, possibly compounded by her being a bit of a liability - pregnant, not working, all the stress to keep things going is squarely on him, and all she can do is parrot demands and expect him to wait on her hand and foot as she "suffers" through labour. Abeg, make like a hebrew woman and let us hear word.


TV

^{**I really should put something together - perhaps post in the "Boys night out" thread. If there's the demand maybe**}

There is, oga! Put it together, please.

Wat-de-hell. Then i think is time you drop that gentle,humble,simple,shy,nice girl mentality and talk to him head to head. He is comparing you with other women and is now feeling that you are not right for him. Is he in competition with his friend. Nawa ooo

5minsmadness:
@cococandy, where did she say he beat her up

There's a reason why I added an 'IF' before the beginning of that statement.
Meaning if (again if) per chance that is happening and she's not saying it , then She knows what to do.

And IF (again if) their problems are merely adaptation issues(I'm sure she didn't say anything about that) . I suggested again what to do IF that was the case. so I wonder why you're not asking me where she said they are having adaptation issues.

I'm very sure you know the meaning of the word IF.

cococandy:


There's a reason why I added an 'IF' before the beginning of that statement.
Meaning if (again if) per chance that is happening and she's not saying it , then She knows what to do.

And IF (again if) there problems are merely adaptation issues(I'm sure she didn't say anything about that) . I suggested again what to do IF that was the case. so I wonder why you're not asking me where she said they are having adaptation issues.

I'm very sure you know the meaning of the word IF.

Yea but in your first post, you made it sound like there was something about you that he knew and went ahead to marry you inspite of.

You didn't explain that part that's why folks jumped to their own conclusions.cant blame them.

Well if he's beating you up , you better find your way out for your health and life's sake

This was your original post. She never mentioned or suggested or alluded to the fact that, or even hinted that he was beating her up.
Where the hell do.you get this mentality that all men are beasts from?

She just told you she's been married for 2 months only and you are hammering on her to get a divorce, after all her husband asked for it first.
Is that how you solve your problems in real life? Your thought processes are mind boggling to say the least.

People keep saying you are married. Are you saying you never encounter any problems AT ALL in your marriage? Did you solve it by screaming 'divorce!' at the top of your voice? Or are you going to tell us now that you and your husband are snow white and prince charming....scratch that, even snow white and prince charming had their issues and they worked it out.


Seriously madam.

Uncle 5minsmadness IF if if.

In her op she didn't say he beat her up. Had it been she did,I wouldn't type IF.
I would simply state her words back at her.
So like I said before there is a reason why IF is there.

I assume a normal human being knows what IF means . I'm assuming you're normal. Sorry if I assumed wrong.

I don't think you're a beast. Do you think so?
Well if you do.... Sorry. Work on it

2)
I didn't tell her to divorce her husband. I only said IF he's beating (which I've always maintained to be a show spoiler in any marriage) that's when she should leave.

but IF (again if) it is only adjustment problems then she should give it time and maybe consider counseling. And that it is only HER decision alone to make.
You didn't see that part?
You only saw the part that made you want to spoil for a fight.
Tell me again how I'm deciding for her what to do.

What's with people who can't read these days

Phew. Unbelievable.

Or maybe you've been struck with the cococandy syndrome too.
The syndrome that doesn't let some people stop and reason first before attacking a post because it was from coco:

If you're looking for fight against divorce advocates, from the first page to this page on this thread you will see plenty of them. Kindly start quoting them one by one and leave my moniker alone.

5minsmadness:




This was your original post. She never mentioned or suggested or alluded to the fact that, or even hinted that he was beating her up.
Where the hell do.you get this mentality that all men are beasts from?

She just told you she's been married for 2 months only and you are hammering on her to get a divorce, after all her husband asked for it first.
Is that how you solve your problems in real life? Your thought processes are mind boggling to say the least.

People keep saying you are married. Are you saying you never encounter any problems AT ALL in your marriage? Did you solve it by screaming 'divorce!' at the top of your voice? Or are you going to tell us now that you and your husband are snow white and prince charming....scratch that, even snow white and prince charming had their issues and they worked it out.


Seriously madam.

cococandy:
Uncle 5minsmadness IF if if.

In her op she didn't say he beat her up. Had it been she did,I wouldn't type IF.
I would simply state her words back at her.
So like I said before there is a reason why IF is there.

I assume a normal human being knows what IF means . I'm assuming you're normal. Sorry if I assumed wrong.

I don't think you're a beast. Do you think so?
Well if you do.... Sorry. Work on it

2)
I didn't tell her to divorce her husband. I only said IF he's beating (which I've always maintained to be a show spoiler in any marriage) that's when she should leave.

but IF (again if) it is only adjustment problems then she should give it time and maybe consider counseling. And that it is only HER decision alone to make.
You didn't see that part?
You only saw the part that made you want to spoil for a fight.
Tell me again how I'm deciding for her what to do.

What's with people who can't read these days

Phew. Unbelievable.

Or maybe you've been struck with the cococandy syndrome too.
The syndrome that doesn't let some people stop and reason first before attacking a post because it was from coco:

If you're looking for fight against divorce advocates, from the first page to this page on this thread you will see plenty of them. Kindly start quoting them one by one and leave my moniker alone.

Just because I quoted you doesn't mean I am.looking for a fight. Jeeez, there's no talking to you lot!

Yea but in your first post, you made it sound like there was something about you that he knew and went ahead to marry you inspite of.

You didn't explain that part that's why folks jumped to their own conclusions.cant blame them.

Well if he's beating you up , you better find your way out for your health and life's sake.

If your problems are mainly adaptation issues,maybe consider counseling and give it time to see if there will be improvement.

But if he really wants to divorce,are you going to stop him? There isn't much you can do except dust yourself and move on.
You can't hold someone who wants to leave at all costs.

OP if that's the case it will clear from his eyes soon enough. But no one says you have to stick around for that. THE CHOICE IS YOURS AlONE TO MAKE

This is you again. Its definitely NOT HER CHOICE ALONE TO MAKE, she has a baby on the way and a man (who in no way has been said to be beating her unless op adds it now to sweeten the deal) living under the same roof with her!

I repeat, what is your own with divorce? Were your parents divorced? Are you divorced? Half the things you say in this forum end in divorce.

What if she's lying about what she said up there about being quiet? She said it like there was some things the man had to put up with when they were courting and all of a sudden all the things she has mentioned make her look oh so innocent. What if she's an ugly nag? Then the man should be right asking for a divorce?

Probably the op's husband found out she doesn't do anything around the house all day and is a bad cook. Probably she keeps too many male friends and her husband is fed up with it. All 'probably!'
I can't even...how can I fathom all these things if she didn't mention it at all? But its so easy for you!

What is your own with divorce divorce divorce??


You know what, never mind. This road never leads anywhere.

Maybe you should wonder why there is a cococandy syndrome , maybe you should wonder why you think people attack you for no apparent reason. I hardly quote you so I'm definitely not one of them.

Timbuktou:
Which is my grouse with the dude. He could have just called her out since year one or moved on if she didn't change. If this tactic works for him, he'd be lucky and among the few who'd have benefited from it.
Perhaps, he'd studied his subject very well or the fact of the almost decade-long courtship would make her maleable.

He was busy playing daddy-o, Mr nice guy...

Ohwhy, welcome back, in all the back and forth, we have neglected to congratulate you on your nuptials. How remiss of us. Hearty congratulations; may your union be long, prosperous and fruitful. May it stand storms and inclement weather and as a testimony to what a fulfilling marriage should be all about. Can I get an Amen !

First, let me draw your attention to your two posts; in some respects almost totally contradictory. If you truly knew each other over those six years, then nothing about you both has changed

What has changed, is the situation, and what needs to change is the attitude and approach of you both. This is no longer boyfriend/girlfriendage, it is marriage. Yes he knew you character and background as noted, but he also figured you'd step up once you solemnised your union. Sure, he noticed some things that he probably didn't want in a wife, but he figured once you'd tied the knot you'd "upwife".

You both had slightly unrealistic expectations, and - probably like many - didn't share deeply enough on your vision for your union or confront certain issues. Issues which you possibly both secretly hoped would somehow resolve themselves once wed.

To be honest, I have no real fears for your union, especially now that you've revealed a little more about yourself. The current situation is a heavy one for any man to manage; a wedding and the attendant costs, setting up home and a new baby;and I say man, as men typically take "ownership", if not all the responsibility for this.

He's responding to the situation somewhat immaturely, I don't find his throwing around the 'D' word healthy or leader-like. And he should otherwise learn to tame his tongue with regards to the name calling.

You both need to appraise the situation and your expectations of each other and make the required adjustments. Call him humbly and lovingly, let him know you are aware of the pressure he's under and your appreciation of his efforts. Tell him you know that you both need to support and encourage each other to be the best spouses you can be and build the home you both want - it's never too late to have that vision talk.

Let him know how his words hurt you and that they are simply unacceptable. You are his wife, he is too love you wholeheartedly, that should be your expectation. And No one really benefits from an abusive relationship, no matter how low-level.Take on board his badly-articulated words about where he'd like you to change. Search yourself and commit to making necessary adjustments over time with his support.

Think about being more assertive, you have a home to run, learn to take responsibility and be proactive. Act like you are more than capable of handling the fullness that is coming your way.

Ohwhy:
You all have spoken well. But I wanna say that if my personality was as bad as some people here termed it, I won't have bothered posting this topic. I was frm a poor background when he met me, I never covered this up like most grls would. Infact I showed him where I live the first day we saw each other. He called me humble. Even with my kind of background, I was never materialistic. He loved this about me. (He had the guts to refer to me as poor after we tied the knots)
My kind of person, am a shy person who can hardly look at a person's face for more than 10 seconds. Am not confrontational ( now he wishes I was as aggressive as his friend's wife) I get scared easily I find it hard to ask questions most times . I don't like outrageous kinda dressing, I like to keep it simple, he loved this about me (now he calls me a small girl). Am not rude, am not insultive as I was raised well by my parents. I knew him well and he knows me well. The years of courtship was never filled with pretense because we spent a lot of time together. There was no room for one to pretend.

Ohwhy:
I just got married recently, not up to two months and its not anything like I imagined. We dated for almost 6yrs before we decided to tie the knot.The man I met and fell in love with was everything I ever wanted in a man. He was caring, selfless, a good listener, very understanding. The man i am now married to is nothing close to the man I dated. This one thinks of himself mostly, he calls me names, hurtful names, names that I find hard to forget even till today. I seem to be talking to myself whenever am talking to him. He raises his voice like he's talking to a kid. It shocks me because he knew my character and my personality before he asked me to marry him yet he did. And now he says these things like they just erupted suddenly. You can imagine your own husband keep mentioning divorce when we are barely 2mnths married. I am not a fan of divorce even if we haven't done our church wedding yet. I am pregnant which makes divorce out of the question for me. But this doesn't seem to bother my husband one bit, he seems to have thought everything out perfectly to his own benefit. Am not happy at all. I don't know how much of this I can take. I wanna do what is best for my baby. This sucks bigtime. What to do? Nairalanders pls help!

Once more, wishing you all the very best


TV

^{**ps, the Family section loves wedding piccies **}

If you didn't have the syndrome you would read all the post and digest it before going off the handle.

If you wanted to be talked to, you would desist from making unfounded accusations like deliberately over looking where I told her to consider counseling and turn around to say I'm advising her to leave a 2month old marriage.

Like are you high or something?

I wonder where that came from.
Of course the syndrome is about follow follow idiiots who don't read before commenting because someone they look up to has displayed foolishness so they think they might as well follow.

Saying there is no talking to 'you lot' when you're addressing ONLY me. One person.
shows the usual xtupidity at play.

Now are you talking to me or as usual displaying idiotic bias carried over from other threads?

People don't attack me for no reason. I find more people liking my points of view than the very FEW who are obsessed and won't stop quoting me to argue points who's answer are staring them in the face.

If you want to reason before quoting me, fine I will give you the courtesy you deserve.

But if you come at me with baggage from another place and obvious lack of comprehension, I will relegate you to the ignore list.

5minsmadness:

Just because I quoted you doesn't mean I am.looking for a fight. Jeeez, there's no talking to you lot!






This is you again. Its definitely NOT HER CHOICE ALONE TO MAKE, she has a baby on the way and a man (who in no way has been said to be beating her unless op adds it now to sweeten the deal) living under the same roof with her!

I repeat, what is your own with divorce? Were your parents divorced? Are you divorced? Half the things you say in this forum end in divorce.

What if she's lying about what she said up there about being quiet? She said it like there was some things the man had to put up with when they were courting and all of a sudden all the things she has mentioned make her look oh so innocent. What if she's an ugly nag? Then the man should be right asking for a divorce?

Probably the op's husband found out she doesn't do anything around the house all day and is a bad cook. Probably she keeps too many male friends and her husband is fed up with it. All 'probably!'
I can't even...how can I fathom all these things if she didn't mention it at all? But its so easy for you!

What is your own with divorce divorce divorce??


You know what, never mind. This road never leads anywhere.

Maybe you should wonder why there is a cococandy syndrome , maybe you should wonder why you think people attack you for no apparent reason. I hardly quote you so I'm definitely not one of them.

Odunharry:

u always make sense..

Thank you sir

Ohwhy, congrats on your wedding. I pray for a long full life together for the two of you. I pray that your children be positive additions to the society and make you proud in every way.

Here's my advice: calm down and go to work. Nothing has spoilt. As TV01 has told you, the situation has changed. Marriage is not courtship and a man can keep his head down and endure a lot of adversity just to achieve his goal. He uncoils afterward and asserts his pride as a man to make up for the downtime. It will smoothen out eventually.

You yourself also need to lose the mindset that he should not be complaining or taking issue with things he already knew about you. When you were a girlfriend and all flighty (remember your other thread) he had to accommodate a lot of stuff that he really does not need to accommodate anymore. Additionally, responsibilities have changed. As a wife, you cannot afford to carry on with certain things that defined you as a girlfriend. So, in agreement with TV01, I advise you to step up.

Again, I assure you, nothing has spoilt. Ignore any talk of divorce. You've no reason to worry about that. He too could hardly be in a real hurry to divorce you. He's just stepped into a role of high responsibility. He'll soon adjust.

cococandy:
If you didn't have the syndrome you would read all the post and digest it before going off the handle.

If you wanted to be talked to, you would desist from making unfounded accusations like deliberately over looking where I told her to consider counseling and turn around to say I'm advising her to leave a 2month old marriage.

Like are you high or something?

I wonder where that came from.
Of course the syndrome is about follow follow idiiots who don't read before commenting because someone they look up to has displayed foolishness so they think they might as well follow.

Saying there is no talking to 'you lot' when you're addressing ONLY me. One person.
shows the usual xtupidity at play.

Now are you talking to me or as usual displaying idiotic bias carried over from other threads?

People don't attack me for no reason. I find more people liking my points of view than the very FEW who are obsessed and won't stop quoting me to argue points who's answer are staring them in the face.

If you want to reason before quoting me, fine I will give you the courtesy you deserve.

But if you come at me with baggage from another place and obvious lack of comprehension, I will relegate you to the ignore list.

Lol@people liking your posts. Its the same 'you lot' that like your posts hence 'you lot' keep getting likes no matter what excrementory advice you post.

If you have problems understanding what I mean by 'you lot' then maybe you're the idiiot.


I have never crossed swords with you on any thread so I'm not the one with the baggage here. Its you attacking me from what sirshymex and crackhaus have done to you in the past.

Yeah you mentioned counseling on an off note but mentioned divorce twice in that post alone! Not to talk of other posts. Now you're harping on it like its your usual line of defence. Pfft.

This would have been a civil discussion but no, you lot don't do that do you?



What is it with you and divorce? Does it empower the woman so much?

Ewwwwww@you thinking you have a syndrome worth naming.

People call you out when you make irritating comments. The vast majority simply ignore them. Its a pity I couldn't stop myself from commenting concerning you today.

I repeat;
Ewwwwww@cococandy syndrome, you actually gave it a name? So it must occur a lot then? Wonder why.


Now i feel dirty. Ewwww. I'm going to take a bath and wash this 'syndrome shit' off me.

Guess i'll beat you to it and put you on my ignore list first.

freecocoa:
Even if OP is the one with all the faults, why did this man have to accept it all those years only to cry divorce now? People just like putting themselves in trouble sha, mschew.

It's a failing during the courtship, some people believe courtship is that time to be on your best behaviour so that you can get married, that is the wrongest mindset a person should have in courtship. The man also possibly believed that her character will change due to marriage, another unrealistic expectation. However the OP knows she has character flaws which are off putting but since the man put up with it all this while was happy to remain that way. Both of them are wrong and both of them need to change their attitude and expectations but this lady more so.

bukatyne:


Honestly, I do not get 'courtship is different'; 'boyfriend takes nonsense hubby is showing up' mentality. And sadly, this does not affect the male folk alone. You will see a lady who has no intention of reckoning with MIL after marriage going to wash her clothes during courtship.

Why can't people be real? If you do not like A, state it and either be patient for your partner to change and move on...

That's why a lot of ladies feel marriage is a bondage... you are smiling with bros, you do not know what he will manifest to after marriage.

Unrealistic expectations all round. Courtship is different from marriage but during the phase one is supposed to steel one's mind for living with the other person after examining the facts on ground. During the period is also time to speak up and say such and such a thing I don't like. If it is a deal breaker for you, you walk. Everyone should encourage their partners to speak up about things they don't like before they get married.

Must every thread degenerate into some sort of fight? Na wa o.

5minsmadness, leave this woman alone na,haba.

5minsmadness:

Lol@people liking your posts. Its the same 'you lot' that like your posts hence 'you lot' keep getting likes no matter what excrementory advice you post.

If you have problems understanding what I mean by 'you lot' then maybe you're the idiiot.


I have never crossed swords with you on any thread so I'm not the one with the baggage here. Its you attacking me from what sirshymex and crackhaus have done to you in the past.

Yeah you mentioned counseling on an off note but mentioned divorce twice in that post alone! Not to talk of other posts. Now you're harping on it like its your usual line of defence. Pfft.

This would have been a civil discussion but no, you lot don't do that do you?



What is it with you and divorce? Does it empower the woman so much?

Ewwwwww@you thinking you have a syndrome worth naming.

People call you out when you make irritating comments. The vast majority simply ignore them. Its a pity I couldn't stop myself from commenting concerning you today.

I repeat;
Ewwwwww@cococandy syndrome, you actually gave it a name? So it must occur a lot then? Wonder why.


Now i feel dirty. Ewwww. I'm going to take a bath and wash this 'syndrome shit' off me.

Guess i'll beat you to it and put you on my ignore list first.

Huh?
You're so stupid i can't even quantify the level of your stupidity.
What's wrong with her if she says the wife should grant him divorce, afterall the husband asked for it?
Instead of you to give coco some credits for advising the woman to grant it 'only on the ground of abuse' rather it was her attacking you.
Some men with ape brain. Smh.

LordReed:


It's a failing during the courtship, some people believe courtship is that time to be on your best behaviour so that you can get married, that is the wrongest mindset a person should have in courtship. The man also possibly believed that her character will change due to marriage, another unrealistic expectation. However the OP knows she has character flaws which are off putting but since the man put up with it all this while was happy to remain that way. Both of them are wrong and both of them need to change their attitude and expectations but this lady more so.

The OP has made an update, her husband is in the wrong here, you don't buy a lamb and expect to get a lioness.

I'm done with your xtupidity.

Take care.

Clear case of attention seeking. Remind me to put you in the ignore list.

Nairaland for me is one fool at a time.
There is only a limited amount of time and post reserved for each idiiot. Once I exhaust it,I'm done.

So just like your idiiot fellows, henceforth you can scratch on the door like a dog left out in the cold and I won't give you attention . As you can see I'm good at that.

Been ignoring fools since. Good now I know would do well to add you to that list. So I don't waste my time answering xtupid questions

5minsmadness:

Lol@people liking your posts. Its the same 'you lot' that like your posts hence 'you lot' keep getting likes no matter what excrementory advice you post.

If you have problems understanding what I mean by 'you lot' then maybe you're the idiiot.


I have never crossed swords with you on any thread so I'm not the one with the baggage here. Its you attacking me from what sirshymex and crackhaus have done to you in the past.

Yeah you mentioned counseling on an off note but mentioned divorce twice in that post alone! Not to talk of other posts. Now you're harping on it like its your usual line of defence. Pfft.

This would have been a civil discussion but no, you lot don't do that do you?



What is it with you and divorce? Does it empower the woman so much?

Ewwwwww@you thinking you have a syndrome worth naming.

People call you out when you make irritating comments. The vast majority simply ignore them. Its a pity I couldn't stop myself from commenting concerning you today.

I repeat;
Ewwwwww@cococandy syndrome, you actually gave it a name? So it must occur a lot then? Wonder why.


Now i feel dirty. Ewwww. I'm going to take a bath and wash this 'syndrome shit' off me.

Guess i'll beat you to it and put you on my ignore list first.

zeb04:
he hasn't changed and you know that because you the one leaving with him.

Someone who is alredy threating divorce 2months into marriage.

Please fear God oh
Stop being biased.If you are a christian,give christianly advice.

Tv isn't a christian. He's a religious man, Pharisee of our time.
Don't get it twisted.

LordReed:


Unrealistic expectations all round. Courtship is different from marriage but during the phase one is supposed to steel one's mind for living with the other person after examining the facts on ground. During the period is also time to speak up and say such and such a thing I don't like. If it is a deal breaker for you, you walk. Everyone should encourage their partners to speak up about things they don't like before they get married.

What makes it different?

I am yet to see any real difference between our courtship & marriage but again we didn't spend it marking register in hotels, clubs and eatries.

One thing I will note is that we grow constantly but not immediately after marriage.

Shirley07:

Huh?
You're so stupid i can't even quantify the level of your stupidity.
What's wrong with her if she says the wife should grant him divorce, afterall the husband asked for it?
Instead of you to give coco some credits for advising the woman to grant it 'only on the ground of abuse' rather it was her attacking you.
Some men with ape brain. Smh.

Shut up you stvpid smelly bltch. No one was talking to you.

freecocoa:
Must every thread degenerate into some sort of fight? Na wa o.

5minsmadness, leave this woman alone na,haba.

Done.

freecocoa:
The OP has made an update, her husband is in the wrong here, you don't buy a lamb and expect to get a lioness.

LoL@bold, it is usually said the other way round.

Anyways it still boils down to unrealistic expectations.

bukatyne:


What makes it different?

I am yet to see any real difference between our courtship & marriage but again we didn't spend it marking register in hotels, clubs and eatries.

One thing I will note is that we grow constantly but not immediately after marriage.

So were you the only one cooking meals for your hubby back during courtship? You slept in his bed every night? He woke up to smell your morning breath every morning? He had to deal with the toilet seat always down? Many things are different during courtship but one uses the time to prepare for marriage.