I have had sleepless nights thinking about these; what do i tell my prospect husband about my mother?
I feel shameful to tell my friends and i decided to do it here because i believe no one knows me here and i feel safe doing it here.
No need to keep it to myself again, a problem shared is a problem solved.
Please do read and give me your suggestions.

-Am a young girl in my late teens,6.5ft tall and light skinned.
Although am not up to the 'great' twenty,i have had so many suitors but none of them fit my choice.
Its either they are too tall,financially inbalanced or not even Literate to my taste.
Recently a guy came asking for my hand in marriage and he is exactly my choice.
Not too tall,dark and an introvet with a booming business.
You may ask 'why am i in a hurry to get married?'
it had to do with my family background,my getting married would lessen the mouths my Dad feeds.
It will go in a long way to enlighten the yoke of the poor man.
Now the problem is; what do I tell my prospective husband about my mother?
My mother is mentally inbalanced and lives with her parents,the last time i went to visit her i returned home in tears.
She was so lean,her hair was brown and bushy almost growing to a dreadlock but she recognized I and my siblings.
Her elder sister is also sick in the head and it scares me to think it may run in thier blood and am afraid of telling my prospective husband because he and his family may come to the same conclusion and they may withdraw thier interest in me.
Should i dare it and tell him the truth?
Should i tell him my mother divorced my dad long ago?
Should i tell him she is dead?
Please am confused.
I need your help.
Thanks.
* * *yours in Tears,
_ Anonymous

* * * spreads foam***

Nothing like the truth. Nothing can hide truth. Say th truth.

My dear, you should be proud of the woman that carried you in her womb for 9 months. Tell him the truth and if he's not cool with it let him go and wait for the right man....

Besides, I think you're getting married for the wrong reasons. Don't marry a guy because he's financially stable that's a wrong motive.

This your story is touching, I don't even know what to say.

This is serious o. What I think you can do is to always bring up your mom's issue and whatever issues early in the conversations you have with those wanting to marry you as it would save you time, stress and heartache incase the guy gets scared and bails on you. The one that really loves you will stay regardless of what his family thinks. You need to stop thinking about your mother in such way. And also, I think you should see a doctor just incase the sickness is hereditary.

Lies has a way of being found out over time. Telling the guy the truth is way better. The girls mum and elder sister are both mentally ill doesn't mean it would happen to the girl. Its the guys decision to choose to stay. Don't make the decision for him. It may get ugly in the near future

Please please pleassseee tell him the truth please!

The truth shall set you free

Declare some days fast, pray seriously about it and then inform your suitor. If he is the will of God for you he'll stay.
But you must let him know.

This is serious!! And i think it's a family thing.
you need to disconnect yourself frm dat link.
the guy has to know,she's your mum. but him knowing ur mom's sis suffers frm it too might not be good.
You both can pray about it.
And do u knw at wat age did this madness start?

Try and reason with him tell him the truth if he truly loves you he will marry you but if you don't tell him now if he discovers later on that will be a serious problem..
It is well my dear..

Did I just see 6ft5" tall? Girl you be tree o

Is your father complaining about his expenses?

Why can't you face your studies and allow a man to come look for you when you have achieved something good for yourself.

You have hands as well,take up a menial job and help your father lessen his burden,who says you can't pay your school fees yourself?

Why should you get married to a man so he can take your financial burden?

You are too little and immature and it is normal you think this way but then,you can make it yourself without the help of anyman who would see you as his property eventually.

Don't worry about your mother for now,when you have what it takes to be a woman,the man that will stick to you will stick to you no matter your mothers condition.

Sleekshady:
Did I just see 6ft5" tall? Girl you be tree o

It's already abnormal for a girl to be 6ft 5"

Very touching.
No matter what, tell him the TRUTH! If he is real he will stay. If not, so be it. The right man will surely find you.


Btw, 6.5ft and you're still complaining some of you toasters are too tall

If you withhold information about your family and he finds out in the future, it will may cause serious problems between the two of you. Just tell your future husband everything about your family. If he is cool with it, he will marry you regardless of the condition of your mother.

Really I wish I have something I could say that would heal your heart and wipe your tears but I am human just as you are and I am hopelessly confused of what to say. I am sorry, I pray that God almighty with his Gracious Grace and Mercy help you and give you and your household a Joyous testimony, Amen!

tell him d truth coz he is d man u gonna spend d rest of ur life with. who knws he might be of help to ur mother's prab. telling him lies will surely makes u loss ur man

O so si simi lenu,obu iyo si.(The thing mess for my mouth come add salt join).

Omi ti eniyan ma mu,koni shan koja eni.(Water wey person go drink e nogo pass person(I'm refering to your prospective suitors))

Now,you can't dump your mother for a random guy who didn't suffer in bringing you up till this level.don't marry for riches alone,but for someone who loves you,your mother is your mother anytime,if the guy is going to be yours,he definitely won't leave.

Mehn I feel how shattered you feel each time you see her,its not that you don't see a lot mental imbalanced people on the street,but the blood is thick and the love is great that why each time you see her you feel a great pain,the only happiness you can show her at this stage is not denying her come any weather! She's a great mum,and the love she have for you is strong for her to still recognize you with her state of health.

All you have todo is workhard to be successful so you can shoulder the pains financially or any state,believe me if you go after a mans money cause of what's happening in your family,the man will seperate you from your beloving mother.

How great she suffered to pour those bloods on the pretty face a man now chase.young lady your blood is your blood.I feel for you,make God give you the strengthen to be good to her and successful.

But believe me your mother with me happy again and your family will be healed from any such of hereditary form.
I love you mum cuz she's the best mum you could ever wish for.

Regardless of how it goes down,life continues,so brace your self and enjoy your family. Be blessed.

Maybe she made a mistake with the height,i think she is average height

Chinweblinkz:
Maybe she made a mistake with the height,i think she is average height

she? Thought the story was abt u

Anyway, for no reason Shud a lady conceal such information Frm her suitors. It just doesn't sound right. Be real...on a second thought, u r still a teenager n getting married dis early for d reason u mentioned myt lead to regrets later. U can make a living for urself; yes, its easier said than done but u can. Situations like this serve to bring out d hidden strength in us. Wish u d best tho

If he loved you, he will like you the way you are. But those things are well said in English language.
If he asked about your mom just say she is in a mental institution. That you visits her once in a while. Do not go taking about your mom sister's mental issue. Just focus on yours.
It is nothing to worry about if there's love

Don't marry to escape lack. All the stuffs you think that man can give you, you can get it yourself face your studies open your eyes to your environment you may be surprised there is a business you can start. It may be tough sometimes but hold on and do best for yourself meanwhile tell the man the truth if you guys have gotten that far and you are sure he wants to marry you otherwise no need telling a man who is just passing through your life heavy family stuffs if he wants to stay all good if he leaves still all good.

MzzTega:
This is serious!! And i think it's a family thing.
you need to disconnect yourself frm dat link.
the guy has to know,she's your mum. but him knowing ur mom's sis suffers frm it too might not be good.
You both can pray about it.
And do u knw at wat age did this madness start?

I agree with this. Telling him about the mum, he can take it as a one off, but mentioning sister also, its a serious no no. means it could be hereditary, and no guy will want to take that risk, i certainly wont

Tabh:
Mtchew,silly little girl.

Is your father complaining about his expenses?

Why can't you face your studies and allow a man to come look for you when you have achieved something good for yourself.

You have hands as well,take up a menial job and help your father lessen his burden,who says you can't pay your school fees yourself?

Why should you get married to a man so he can take your financial burden?

You are too little and immature and it is normal you think this way but then,you can make it yourself without the help of anyman who would see you as his property eventually.

Don't worry about your mother for now,when you have what it takes to be a woman,the man that will stick to you will stick to you no matter your mothers condition.

Please, sit down and read what you posted.

The insults and no single advice.

And to think you're a lady

Op, tell the man the truth, nothing else will do.

Someone said something about working.
I do work!
But the money quicky disappears for household stuffs and other things.
Studies?? Am intelligent,very much but who will sponsor my Education?
Getting married to a Guy whom i have feelings for is the best option.
I think i have to pray and fast about it.
* * *Your's in Prayer
_ Anonymous

XavierG:



Please, sit down and read what you posted.

The insults and no single advice.

And to think you're a lady

Op, tell the man the truth, nothing else will do.

I'd rather you read again,it's not too long.
Pick the advice in it after reading.

Tabh:

I'd rather you read again,it's not too long.
Pick the advice in it after reading.

you 'mtcheww' HISSED and called me 'SILLY'
thanks.

Chinweblinkz:

you 'mtcheww' HISSED and called me 'SILLY'
thanks.

I'm so sorry sweetheart,you are beautiful and smart,make use of that rather than depend on a man for finances.

Once you have what it takes,men will flock around you and even stick to you regardless of your mom's condition.

Jisox , op you have to thread carefully, its one thing for him to hear you out and still wanna marry u, its another thing for his family members to agree.