Using verbal assault, fear or humiliation to undermine your partner’s self-esteem and self-worth, can cause psychological damage. Difficult to manage, the following tips can help:

Set limits

An easy way to handle any case of emotional abuse is to develop some level of confidence. Psychologists often suggest that you let your partner know that you are open to hearing his concerns about your actions and how they impact, but will no longer engage in conversations that attack who you are as a person. Set limits and inform your partner in a subtle tone, which will not infuriate him or her the more.

Consider your partner’s concerns

While this may sound like an odd thing to do at first, it is important that you ask your partner the reason why he or she verbally abuses you. Also, find out what you are willing to do for him or her to change whilst making sure you align these requests with your personal well-being and integrity. At the same time, do not agree to do things in order to keep the peace or save the relationship, especially if deep down you know it isn’t right for you.

Reflect on your life goals

Consider your values, goals and needs. Make sure your decisions are in alignment with your needs. Let him or her know what you can and can’t do for him. Whatever you do, do not be intimidated. Be assertive and make him understand your wishes and utmost desires at all times.


Study the abuser

Find positive ways to interact with the abuser – if you can handle the abuser in a neutral way, you may be able to see the positive in the abuser and find new ways to interact with him or her that is positive.

While it can seem counter-intuitive to have compassion for the abuser, sometimes changing the way you view the abuser can give you insight into coping with the abuse.

Make healthy friends

Find ways to reconnect with the people or friends that will appreciate you for who you are at all times. Engage and connect with other people that support your dreams and are willing to help you achieve it. Join a support group and connect with others in the same situation like you.

Take a walk

At the end of the day, only you can decide if his or her controlling behaviour is something you are willing to live with or not. Relationships should be something that develop and not diminish you. Because love celebrates who you are and you deserve to have a powerful and loving relationship, you can take a walk if it is beyond repair. Love yourself enough to take a walk especially if your life and sanity is at stake.

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