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Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate - Romance - Nairaland

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Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by ShutdownBrown24(m): 4:55pm On Mar 10, 2015
10 common bedroom mistakes you make unknowingly – It’s the third date, and you know what that means: time for s*x! OK, not really (unless the world really does work like s*x and the City, in which case, kill yourself), but you’ll know when it’s that date.

The one that, rather than ending with a kiss on the cheek and a box of tissues, results in an invitation to her place for a nightcap (or an acceptance of yours). There simply isn’t an exact science to the game of love (or lovemaking, for that matter), but there are some obvious moves that will ensure she doesn’t want to see you ever again. So, if you really like this girl, or at the very least like slapping flappies with this girl, crack open a bottle (not a box) of wine, sit back and don’t do these things. And don’t call it “slapping flappies.”

1. Getting too intimate

When it comes to verbal seduction, less is more. You might think it’s what she wants to hear, but letting the conversation turn too sappy the first time you coax her back to your place gets awkward, fast. Don’t overdo the compliments—a simple, “You’re really gorgeous/hot/amazeballs,” will do it. Resist the urge to discuss your future together even if you’ve already staked out matching cemetery plots. Right now is the time to be the strong and silent type.

2. Clam Jamming

Once you’ve shut up long enough to get below her clothes, be mindful of your fingers (i.e., don’t start cramming them in her like you’re trying to clear a clogged drain). The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings in an area smaller than a pea, which means that the lightest touch is enough to bring it to attention. Poke too hard and it feels more like an awkward jolt than a pleasurable sensation, like any contact with a penis right after orgasm. Start with a gentle touch, and she’ll push against you to signal for more aggression.

3. Refusing to kiss after oral

No one’s eager to coat their throat in man gravy, but when a woman has just performed a, erm, service for you, refusal of any forthcoming affection can be insulting. So if you see a kiss headed your way, suck it up. Contorting your face in disgust will only make a woman feel cheap. If you can’t stomach the thought of a post-MouthAction tongue dance, kiss her neck, shoulders, face, etc. until such time has passed that any offending you-goo has dissolved.

4. Failing to reciprocate

This rule’s a little fast and loose. On the one hand, many women feel self-conscious about a guy getting that close to their whispering eye before they’ve really gotten to know them, so don’t be surprised if she declines. On the other hand, neglecting to even attempt to return her favor makes you look like a heel. So even if she shuts you down, she’ll make a mental note that you’re at least willing to appear generous.

5. Forgoing protection

You might feel hesitant to kill the mood by pulling out a condom, but skin diving not only puts you at risk for STDs (not to mention fatherhood), but it also appears disrespectful. If you’re fine being wreckless with yourself, that’s your business, but there’s a second party here, and a gentleman who wants to get laid puts the lady first.

6. Getting too kinky

Maybe six months down the line, you’ll both discover that you’re into urolagnia and live freakishly ever after, but right now isn’t the time to explore your deviant side. Keep the slapping and hair-pulling at bay and withhold the graphic dirty talk. And, it should go without saying, restrict the field of play to the front door, huh?

7. Making strange noises/yelling

Be aware of the strange sounds you make and the offensive things you yell out en coitus. If necessary, seek therapy for them.

8. Acting like a po.rn star

If life was anything like a po.rno, every time you did laundry would end in a washer-top Group Intimacy. But real women don’t want to be treated like po.rn stars (at least not the first time you’re with them), and mindless jack-hammering makes you less a workhorse than a hump monkey.

9. Stressing about your performance

There are a number of things that can go wrong the first time you’re in bed with a new partner, and most consenting adults understand that. There’s a lot to feel out about another person before reaching the right comfort level and s*xual rhythm. Any awkward post-s*x vibes that you project will make her uneasy as well, so you’re better off relaxing and basking in the glow, bro.

10. Forgetting to allot cuddle time

Whoa, whoa, whoa. So what if you need to take a piss or the sandman is beating you over the head with his nap bag? Before you go bouncing out of bed to use the bathroom or start snoring like a chainsaw, allow a solid five to 10 minutes of cuddle/pillow talk time. Ideally you want to wait for her to fall asleep first, but at least make sure you spend enough conscious time with her afterward to show that this wasn’t just another smash and grab.

http://www.naijabiggists.com/2015/03/guys-10-common-bedroom-mistakes-you_10.html

Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by Dioxidane: 5:01pm On Mar 10, 2015
Ok, we done hear... But some guys follow these rules by default...#JustSaying
Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by olaideeeedris(m): 5:03pm On Mar 10, 2015
Wallahi na tru yarn u dey yarn
Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by EmmanuelD1st(m): 5:08pm On Mar 10, 2015
Hmmm...Ladies and their hates
Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by mkpakanaodogwu(m): 5:15pm On Mar 10, 2015
It is well
Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by hahn(m): 5:54pm On Mar 10, 2015
11. Telling another girl that you love her while she is blowing you.

The consequences are sever

1 Like

Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by falconey(m): 6:18pm On Mar 10, 2015
Well we learn from our mistakes.
Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by kuuljay(m): 7:55pm On Mar 10, 2015
hahn:
11. Telling another girl that you love her while she is blowing you.

The consequences are sever
falls of Gej moving locomotive lmao.bross e don happen to you before it's really scary
Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by fritiyo: 11:24pm On Mar 10, 2015
As it stands now, i can not sleep with my gf or any other girl .without my condom.

very important to me no mater how u want me to be on skin level, i dont it cos of safety.
Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by ivyT(f): 1:14am On Mar 11, 2015
hahn:
11. Telling another girl that you love her while she is blowing you.

The consequences are sever

while she is blowing him breeze abi?
Where u put d 'e',u throway am for river ?
Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by hahn(m): 1:20am On Mar 11, 2015
ivyT:


while she is blowing him breeze abi?
Where u put d 'e',u throway am for river ?

The "e" is silent so I didn't bother putting it there grin
Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by Enegod(m): 5:24am On Mar 11, 2015
This must be the love making manual



Where is the manual for just F**KING? undecided

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Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by sarmiie(m): 5:37am On Mar 11, 2015
hahn:
11. Telling another girl that you love her while she is blowing you.

The consequences are sever


she fit bite ur d. by mistake sef

but that would actually be the least of your problems
Re: Guys! 10 Common Bedroom Mistakes You Make Unknowingly Which Ladies Really Hate by ibnjarir93(m): 11:06am On Mar 11, 2015
[quote author=ShutdownBrown24 post=31492070]10

3. Refusing to kiss after oral

No one’s eager to coat their throat in man gravy, but when a woman has just performed a, erm, service for you, refusal of any forthcoming affection can be insulting. So if you see a kiss headed your way, suck it up. Contorting your face in disgust will only make a woman feel cheap. If you can’t stomach the thought of a post-MouthAction tongue dance, kiss her neck, shoulders, face, etc. until such time has passed that any offending you-goo has dissolved.

Wayne recent lyrics goes thus:" she suck my d**k, we don't kiss after that."

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