What do u do when u're hopelessly in love and your folks are opposing strongly to ur relationship?

well 1st of all ur parent ain't suppose to av nothin to do with who u love but i know somtimes dey do but it don't matter wat dey say cos u love this person and its u who gon be livin with dis person 4 d rest of ur life not ur parent

It depends on what they have to say.
maybe they just want to open your eyes.
Parents usually handle in the interest of the child.
Not all are just biased.
If my daughter comes up with an indian i will go like "ho my god" without even knowing the guy , but if she is serious and my hands are tied i will start to study the boy very well

To answer your question, there is nothing you can do about it, time will heal them or make things worse.
I know some women today their parents are not talking to them ,because of the man they married.

yeah i read this book like dat 2

@ Actuary

What do u do when u're hopelessly in love and your folks are opposing strongly to your relationship?

Just to let you know, we do choose who we fall in love with. Falling in love is a concious choice.

If our parents see that we have not made the right choice or that our choice has a flaw, it is their duty as a parent to intervene. However, ultimately the choice is yours and if your choice turns out to be a mistake, you will have to suffer the consequences. This is what our parents want to avoid for us if they can.

Something else you should know, your parents love you and would not deliberately do or say anything to hurt you.

The relationship one has needs to be good for the entire family or else there is going to be problems. If your mother and father do not approve of who you are dating, whether they are right or wrong, your relationship will suffer.

Your parents will send out negative vibes that will absorb into your relationship, sometimes you won't realize that you are reacting to these vibes. It is important to know that, if you continue your relationship, you have to be strong to protect you and your friend against negative vibes. But, on the flip side, if your parents turn out to be right about this friend of yours, you can't let your ego get in the way. You can't continue to be with this person to spite your parents and prove them wrong, you would only be hurting yourself.

Why do your folks oppose, can you tell us more?

then love undergoes the test of real or not real love. If y'all really love each other or not!

its unfair when this happens. think our parents should leave us alone and allow us love whom we choose. they oppose at times for their own selfish interest. its really unfair and painful if you av to choose between your parent and your partner. am in that position now and its not funny at all!

Then lets hear your story and see if they are right or wrong.

Guess what thanks to internet one day my daughter showed me a pic of a Boy she was dating.
One look was enough for me to know the boy was a bastard. And i told her that i cannot make it impossible her to see him, but very difficult.
She called me every name under the sun how unfair i am i do not even know him just because bla bla bla.
But at the end of the day i was right. And thank god she saw that too be4 it was too late.
Parents have more experience and when it comes to their kids their eyes are very open.

There is always something for you to learn from your parents, some times its best to stay calm, hold back a little and try to see issues from their angle. You won't find it pleasant to discover at the end that your parents were right about their refusal.
Listen to their views before resisting their interference into your private life. You won't loose anything by doing so and also, give them time to also see issues from your angle. Its only after exhausting all alternatives that is best for you to hold on to what you think its best for you. If you succeed in winning them over then you will be happy you handled issues this way.

To an extent its not fair for parents to meddle into one's relationship, 

Their involvment should be on a low profile,  giving parental or moral advice n stuffs like that. and not an upright rejection of your partner. Some parents base their decision on physical outlook of the individual, which is not fair.

On the otherhand its good,  because they've been there, seen it all and the experience. so they wouldnt want us to pass through the negative side of relationship as they did.

It's very difficult situation,u don't know how to go about it,it's happening to me too.we're 2 guys and 6 girls in my house and all my sisters are married,but my brother married an Ibo girl,which my mum doesn't really mind ,cos we grew up in the same area,so she'd always known her.
now am dating an Ibo girl but my mum is always begging me not to marry Ibo girl again now,that i no we're only 2 guys,and i personally ,i like my partner so much but am still trying to study her,although everybody have their short comings.am now afriad not to get too deep,cos 1. my mum doesn't want me to,
2. She gets angry easily, which i can't tolerate,but i've got to understand that all girls does,it just vary the degree of the management,cos am an easy going person,i hate people shouting on me or not cool.it pisses me off.
i'd lost my dad since i was 15years,now am getting ready for a steady and last relationship.
so what do u think i can do?

@ Worldgreat

It's very difficult situation,u don't know how to go about it,it's happening to me too.we're  2 guys and 6 girls in my house and all my sisters are married,but my brother married an Ibo girl,which my mum doesn't really mind ,because we grew up in the same area,so she'd always known her.
now am dating an Ibo girl but my mum is always begging me not to marry Ibo girl again now,that i no we're only 2 guys,and i personally ,i like my partner so much but am still trying to study her,although everybody have their short comings.am now afriad not to get too deep,because 1. my mum doesn't want me to,
2. She gets angry easily, which i can't tolerate,but i've got to understand that all girls does,it just vary the degree of the management,because am an easy going person,i hate people shouting on me or not cool.it pisses me off.
i'd lost my dad since i was 15years,now am getting ready for a steady and last relationship.
so what do u think i can do?

World, have you tried discussing your frustration with the Igbo girl? Don't assume that she knows that you dislike her yelling. Give her a chance to come to a common ground with you. Tell her that you want to talk to her about the relationship. Don't talk to her as if you are disgusted with her behavior. Talk to her as if you understand her and are not criticizing her.

i would tell you, my girl friend of 4yrs 3months and 6 days left me,based on her mothers saying it could be very devastating,and killing,but looking at it from another view , it might just be okay ,

Some parents are doing that just because of their own selfish interest.I had a similar experience,his mum said no way just because i'm not their tribe.And he told me he cann't do what will make his mum feel bad about him.since then he's no longer the same person i use to know.

Reason: Cos she's months older. Does it really matter? Especiallywhen u know all the facts (implications), and u're ready to deal with it anyways?

Could be a really difficult situation- trying to make decision on ur own (and God's) intuition, knowing that whateva the future does bring, u'll be bearing the consequences- if u turnout ok, or not?
But even b4 u get to the point of outrightly deciding if u're going to b with the person, the dating process remains such a strain. Definately not a beautifulsituation to find oneself in.
Godddddd!

'Spiritual/Bibilicalsuggestions and advices', that's where i really think parental indulgence should end, not to the point of imposing their ideals?When u'rean adult, u should have liberty to choice?
Some folks could get extremely imposing,

If my parents oppose to my relationship then just oppose. they cant stop me
if i introduce them to someone then that means i'm serious bout him. and i've researched him very,

so if my parents dont like him to bad for them

i know this sounds wrong, but when it comes to true love then it cant be stopped

they might disown me but wateva, i know some ppl will be thinkin she's willing to be disowned over a man, she's being a baby , she's dumb etc.

but she doesnt care


did i make sense ?

though,my parent will alway want the BEST for me, but then,if my parent oppose my relationship?may be they might have forseen danger ahead or in the nearest future, i have no option than to listen to them.

am juwon by name 25 years old i was a student of uni ibadan and had some problems in school because of my ex girl fri i was trying to help her to school she told me then there is a SPIRITUAL CURSE but i never took it serious i entered a terrible problem then in 2001 and i was sent out of school in 2002 then after that time i stated developing some problems which i will HEAR my NAME from no where telling me to start walking and i would have walked 3 to 4 hrs before asking my self where am i going i never took it serious and never told my parents till i walked 3 to 4 hrs everday from year 2001 till 2005 august where i finally got delivered.In march 11 i got to meet a girl who finally helped me back to school in festac i study INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY in NIIT Festac centre but my parents are really happy about this and told me they wanted to see my new girlfriend i took her home my parents like her so much but unfortunately my mum elder sister and came and said so much about that that she hate her and she is a foolish,stupid and all anoying decaying words that are not good to tell a human being. She made her way to my uncles house where i live and came up with same problems, the problems was too much for me that i told her to pay up my school bills or leave me alone but i said no and get off me when my uncle heard he told me to leave his house and kicked me out the girl promised me for my second installment but she later told me that their is no means helping me anymore since she is not going to get me married that was her target she changed her line and all about her i had been sent out of school now for 3 weeks and my mum has been too much worried i don't know what do i was thinking about it i don't know what to do please i need emails or calls to advice me what to do jarue4real@verizonmail.com or 2348032725262 i told SEUN about it and told me to post it on nairaland i don't know what to do i had lost my girlfriend, lost my school and me and my uncle are not in good terms i have a bitter world now

well i'm a lil gurl and rite now i'm speechless well there are older ppl who will av a very good advice 4 u ut all i can say is move out of that state and go to another state even if u can't afford to move out of d country and statr a whole new life and always pray i don't want to sound all religion but u ain't got dat many option than to pray and belive God will help u out

@ kiki
Yeah right

@juwon
Move out of your present location perhaps to a friends' and start afresh. Just move out maybe u've been depending on your spouse for too long. Just believe your future is spotless.

@ juwon
My advice to you is to pray and put your past behind you. Your trials are indications that you are precious.

@Actuary

What do u do when u're hopelessly in love and your folks are opposing strongly to your relationship?

Please don't be hopelessly in love. There are many reasons for being hopelessly in love (not the issue now). Open your eyes and don't pretend. Is there anything in your relationship that you think you can cope with but your folks know you can't (based on your peculiar family values)? You need to prove to them if you know you can cope. Remember marriage is for better for worse.
Now put your folks apart, hear the views of real friends (who know you well and can tell you the truth) about your folks reasons of disapproval. They can be of help to you.

Open your eyes maybe there is something they see which you have refused to see. if not , follow your heart because either sweet or sour your parents ain't gonna be there always!

dey gonna ve 2 agree at 1 point if u really like ur pattern i no of sumone hes dad didnt like da guy he was datin dey got married at last n da dad still visit em so wat u waitin 4 so far u sure its luv u jsut gotta be strong

i would tell my parents just to inform them, not for their approval. No one would be living with us, if i made a mistake i would take it, but l wont forgive myself if i take their advise  and their advise becomes a mistake. But at this age and time, love counts not what parents says, come to think of it what parents normally says is always based on tribe, she is an OSU, she has a child already, her sister is divorced from her husband, one of their family members had been mad or is epileptic, she is too educated, father married 2 wives and very many irrelevant reasons

Or they see what the man / woman in love cannot see.
That the person is just a bastard,. a selfish fool a lazy bone or something like that

After being with my finace for 5 years+, my father disapproves of me getting married to him. I'm Igbo lady and my finace is Yoruba. My father is saying he is not being bias, but he feels that the marriage will not work. But I don't understand why he has watched our relationship grow. He has met my finace on some ocassions, and really enjoyed his company (so he told me). But know he is so against the idea. I feel he has given me false hope, and feel that I can not forgive him. He wants me to choose between him and my finace. It is just being narrow-minded. We were brought up in a multi-cultural city (London, UK), and wasn't brought up with the same traditional values. I have tried speaking with my father, and the only reason he gives is the tribal differences. I'm so upset,

Sorry about this. Next time don't ask your father whether he approves. Just invite him to the wedding.