luvlyoracle:
H

how much b dis plot of land

Frankly, OP your write ups are always humorous.

‘I once bought a movie ticket for N100 at Silverbird Uyo'

You can form familiarity ehn



Great write-up though

G12:
Lol... You just have to love and laugh while reading @naijasinglegirl's post.

Naijasinglegirl, don't worry eh, I am working hard to make my millions and establish my company, hope you would like to work with me.

You just got yourself an extra admirer

I hope I won't have grey hairs then. Oya go and vote for me here http://nigerianblogawards.com/vote2014.php

Justfollowit:
‘I once bought a movie ticket for N100 at Silverbird Uyo'

You can form familiarity ehn



Great write-up though

haha. I would have probably gotten the job if not for shoki

StPete:
Frankly, OP your write ups are always humorous.

Thank you

Naijasinglegirl:
Culled from my blog eh
http://www.naijasinglegirl.com

I'like to meet you . damn it ! you are good.

Naijasinglegirl:
Culled from my blog eh

http://naijasinglegirl.com/how-shoki-song-cost-me-my-job/

Nice Job dear.

the gods of ur village are @ work go to MFM

This calls for some.....shoki!

Naijasinglegirl:
I made it to the final stage of the recruitment process of one multinational. The interview was for 9am at their Island office.
I can boldly say they were looking for candidates who had the virtue of patience because the interview didn't commence till 1pm.
Seated in the waiting room were 10 other candidates making us 11 altogether. They said it was 15 minutes for each candidate.
I noticed that each time a candidate came out of the interview room, the person had frustration written all over them. (The waiting room was a glass house so we could see those passing by)

I was curious on what sort of questions were being asked but interviewed candidates were not allowed back into the waiting room.
Candidate no5 was the worst hit. He was practically dragging his feet and nodding his head disappointedly as he walked past. I had to sneak out to meet him at the lobby. 
"Please, how was it?" I asked.
He just looked at me and said, "Oniranu. Very yeye man! How can they ask me the effect of cashless policy on naira devaluation just because I had a 2.1 in banking?" 
He said it was a 2-man panel and I should be wary of the dark skinned man who was the devil incarnate. Then he gave me his file jacket to hold briefly that he needed to locate their toilet urgently. He was probably purging cos I see no reason he could not hold on till he got home .
While I waited for him, the man that ushered us in caught me by the lobby. He was mad that I left the waiting room before I was called and instructed me to go into the interview room immediately even though I insisted it wasn't my turn yet.
I tucked no5 file jacket into my handbag and went in, hoping that I would be out by the time he returns from the toilet.

I recognised the alleged devil as soon as I got in.
"Please sit.", the light skinned man (LS) said while his devil colleague sized me up from feet to head. He didn't even respond when I greeted him.
After the usual, "can we meet you?", "what do you know about our company?'' "Why did you apply for this job?" questions of which I answered to the best of my knowledge , the LS man asked me, "Tell us what is happening in NIGERIA.'' All along I kept wishing the devil man will continue playing deaf and dumb till I was out.
I talked about the forthcoming  elections.
LS man was really jovial and I was pleased the interview was towing the way of a conversation with a friend. He told me he's pro PDP and asked which political party I belonged to. I'm in support of neither but the goal is to please your interviewer so I said I'm an avid supporter of PDP too.
"See my person o." He said excitedly. "You need to see what a PDP governor has done in my state."
"Which state Sir?"
"AkwaIbom."
"Oh Governor Akpabio. That man is awesome. He's totally transformed Uyo. Their stadium is a stunner!"
"Not just Uyo, everywhere in the state."
"I once bought a movie ticket for N100 at Silverbird Uyo, are tickets still sold that price?" I asked.
"I don't watch movies. So you've been to my town?"

I was trying to ensure our conversation does not cross our friendly threshold throughout the 15mins duration and by the time he realises I had tricked him into asking me frivolous questions, it will be too late to ask further questions except, "When can you resume?"
All along, the amala-faced man was staring at me like a wounded lion, patiently waiting for me to mess up. LoL. Suddenly, the sound of music filled the air.
"Shoki Shoki Shoki ah! Shoki Shoki Shoki ah! I'm looking for my..."

Both of them looked puzzled and the smile on the LS man face faded. I was confused as to where the music was coming from.
"Young lady, are you looking for a job or you're looking for shoki?" Devil finally spoke.
"Excuse me?" I asked.
The music began again.
"How dare you come into an interview room without switching off your phone!" He roared.
It then occurred to me that it was no5 phone ringing inside my bag. It had destabilised me and the atmosphere and I dug my right hand into my bag, searching  frantically for the power button of the phone.
"Just look at her Mr Eyibo! Look at her! All of them are the same!" Devil said as he slammed his hands on the table ferociously. Mr Eyibo was defenceless.
"I'm taking over from here!" Devil said authoritatively. "Young lady, what are you bringing into this company?"
"Ermmm..." I stuttered. Panic had made me dumb.
"Young lady, I say gauge your attributes and tell us your unique contributions to the growth and continued success of this company?"  He shook his head. "How will you demonstrate integrity and command respect in tough situations as a team member?"
I was just in my seat like, 'Sir, you can vex oh. Instead of you to just tell me there's no job.'
"Call the next person in." He said dismissively. The LS man had sorry written over his face . . .

No5 was full of apologies when I told him everything but the damage had already been done.
Dude currently sends me links of every vacancy he finds online as if that is enough compensation. Good thing he got a regret mail too or we would have been wearing one leg of trousers.
I'm still job hunting..

http://naijasinglegirl.com/how-shoki-song-cost-me-my-job/

SHOKI killing people since 1960

With the kind of humour this naijasinglegirl has got,if I had to pick a soul mate from a pool of ladies,she'd definitely come tops(provided she's pretty and has a good shape+heart). Chick is one lively and funny lady.

I must say, the devil pursuing u is in a Ferrari.

chronique:
With the kind of humour this naijasinglegirl has got,if I had a pick a soul mate from a pool of ladies,she'd definitely come tops(provided she's pretty and has a godd shape+heart). Chick is one lively and funny lady.

na so. I don't have a good shape but I have a good heart eh. Looks will fade with age but my personality is forever.

Well God as only programmed you there to get some more experience and not to get the job. so look out for the next one and be more prepared.

@ op, you got me laughing out my lungs out that my colleagues are now staring at me like *are you okay?*.

You never cease to amuse me. A great piece of story you have there. I'll be following you from today.

Beautiful write up. Funny experience.

Verse 1: (Davido)
Oya show me shoki, shoki shoki
everybody shoki, shoki shoki
and the request say shoki, shoki shoki
everybody shoki, shoki shoki
Oya show me shoki, shoki shoki
everybody shoki, shoki shoki
oya shoki, shoki shoki
shoki, shoki shoki


I am looking for that shorty,
with the baddest shoki,
find everybody they shoki
I be you still dey look for johnny,
but if you ke gets for body,
the town will go make you the shorty
david please don't stop it
I wanna see you drop it now
for me now
on this ground
oya down

Chorus: (Kesh)
Oya shoki kin shoki
E bami wa omoge to ba yodi haa
Mio ni ko wa twerk to wa gbon'di haa
All I want er to do is to shoki
Shoki kin shoki ha!

Shoki kin shoki haa
bami wa omoge to ba yodi haa
Mio ni ko wa twerk to wa gbon'di haa
All I want er to do is to shoki
Shoki kin shoki haa!

shoki, shoki haa shoki
shoki haa shoki (repeat x7)

Verse 2: (Kesh)
Won'lewo n'mo gbe de yii
Ejoo ijo shoki 'leleyi
Ejoo ijo igboro leleyi
Anyway Awon butty le Jo si no problem
No'wo si'waju k'ejika maa lo sotun sosi
Maa fo soke die die
Ose Oya f'ako si
e f'ako si

Oya shoki kin shoki
In d club anything we are popping
E Bami w'omo to sexy o jare ko wa Jo shoki fun mi o jare No problem
shoki kin shoki no problem
In d club anything we are popping
E Bami w'omo to sexy o jare ko wa Jo shoki fun mi o jare eh o dare

Chorus: (Kesh)
Oya shoki kin shoki
E bami wa omoge to ba yodi haa
Mio ni ko wa twerk to wa gbon'di haa
All I want er to do is to shoki
Shoki kin shoki ha!

Shoki kin shoki haa
bami wa omoge to ba yodi haa
Mio ni ko wa twerk to wa gbon'di haa
All I want er to do is to shoki
Shoki kin shoki haa!

shoki, shoki haa shoki
shoki haa shoki (repeat x7)


Verse 3: (Olamide)
Auntie Tope timilehin
kini buruku e t'egbe seyin
ki lo wa n tiyin loju
K'ejo shoki en f'owo boju
Furo rabata we t'eku
gbe wa saye ma lo ja bata ye mi o ma le salaye
Bere lowo taye
Ha! Shoki da e wo
Won 'ni gba nibi 'Tawon alasi wa
Oya je'n ponke
Haaa!! Shoki shoki kin ma wa e wa le mon
Oya je'n ponke
Shoki shoki ka de ma pade mon

Chorus: (Kesh)
Oya shoki kin shoki
E bami wa omoge to ba yodi haa
Mio ni ko wa twerk to wa gbon'di haa
All I want er to do is to shoki
Shoki kin shoki ha!

Shoki kin shoki haa
bami wa omoge to ba yodi haa
Mio ni ko wa twerk to wa gbon'di haa
All I want er to do is to shoki
Shoki kin shoki haa!

shoki, shoki haa shoki
shoki haa shoki (repeat x7)

Shoki shocked you!

EggovinMma:

r u nt d lady dat wz giving her man head at d beach?

tenny07:
Well God as only programmed you there to get some more experience and not to get the job. so look out for the next one and be more prepared.

Sure. I now know the effect of devaluation on cashless policy

uboma:
@ op, you got me laughing out my lungs out that my colleagues are now staring at me like *are you okay?*.

You never cease to amuse me. A great piece of story you have there. I'll be following you from today.

Thank you.

Naijasinglegirl:
I[b]"Young lady, are you looking for a job or you're looking for shoki?"[/b]

Chai... this part have finished me here!!!

Lmaooo!!!

And you just made sense again.

Naijasinglegirl:
na so. I don't have a good shape but I have a good heart eh. Looks will fade with age but my personality is forever.

Lol is this a true story very funny


bt op shoki didnt make u lose the job ur carelessness did next time switch of ur phones or put in silent mode.

Funny thing I don't even know this shoki song.

valmunich:
Lol.. That No.5 needs to be strangled

d guy is a serious learner. Otherwise he akonuche for tell am 2 turn off he fone or put am 4 vibration atleast.