Sophyrocks:


No mother would strike or slap her daughter over mere pics!! Get that straight. The Op's mother is too petty!! Slap a woman you know u aint in good terms with over mere pics!! Only a woman who is a troublemaker and jobless would do that.

tell him...I'm sure he has no idea

Sophyrocks:


That is why the MIL has to slap her? What if there are no negatives to print more? what stops the MIL from asking her son about the pics? Slapping another human because of pics? Is the MIL a good initiator of peace by her actions? Is it only DILs that are to initiate peace? You see the type of dysfunctional homes we run in this 9ja.

The mother in law is the elderly one here, knowing fully well that they are not really at peace; and this is the husband' s mother for Christ sake, she does not have to compete with her, she should have allowed her to take that picture, even if there is no negative to reprint that singular one will not kill her, this her action means that she is not ready to forgive her mother in law of whatever she did to her and to me that shows that she has no respect for the husband. Even after her action and the slap followed, as a respectable lady, she would have left the scene to avoid any more problem but she stayed put and retaliated to show that she is no push over. You don't do that to ur mother in law or ur mother please.

EggovinMma:


Nne i want to be like you when I grow up.
I am way too troublesome forc that bullshiite.
I have very bad way of disposing dirty laundry water.
LET THE WAR BEGIN! SINCE SHE. US NOW MY HUSBAND SECOND WIFE.

I wanted to react bt I couldn't because my MIL and FIL are good to me.?
my hubby has already ask his mum to tell her to behave herself

The MIL/DIL relationship is the most critical relationship in any family system.

@OP Just take a step back,take a deep breath and take an honest look at the bigger picture. Ask yourself, Is this really how I want things to be in my family? Do I really want my family to see me as either the villain or the victim?

What can I do to start to make things better for me, my mother, and for the rest of the family?

Give it some thought. Whether you feel it is your Mother or your wife who is really causing the problems,remember that you are the one who has the power to turn things around. And lastly your Mother shouldn't raise her hand to slap your wife ever again. I won't take that if i were in your wife's shoes seriously. The slap will definitely be returned so that next time she would be aware of her boundaries.

Sophyrocks:


No mother would strike or slap her daughter over mere pics!! Get that straight. The Op's mother is too petty!! Slap a woman, AN ADULT, that you know u aint in good terms with over mere pics!! You are only asking for trouble!! Only a woman who is a troublemaker and jobless would do that.

In fact why would any sane person make demands from someone they know they don't get along with let alone reach it to take the stuff ?
Shouldn't wisdom entail that she makes such requests of her son
Couldn't she apply some common sense

Answer the question first

Sophyrocks:


No mother would strike or slap her daughter over mere pics!! Get that straight. The Op's mother is too petty!! Slap a woman, AN ADULT, that you know u aint in good terms with over mere pics!! You are only asking for trouble!! Only a woman who is a troublemaker and jobless would do that.

Answer the question first

NmaGOD44:
and let me make it clear to u dat if both of them were in peace....the DIL would have been the one to present the pics to her MIL even before she makes her request.....my mum can't hate me and still demand something from me...it doesn't work dat way...and I don't tolerate shit from people

EbolaParasite:
Any woman that doesn't respect my mum is a goner. No questions asked. You only got one biological mum. Wives are replaceable juh

a good wife is hard to find. There are many women and men out there but getting the wrong one can either contribute to your success or ruin you. Let him go and bring another woman who will be even worse and when your mother fights that one too, I guess you will divorce her. He also has kids with his wife and they may grow to hate the father. Just imagine a child saying my dad left my mom because my grandma slapped her and they fought. Does that make sense to you.


Honestly this is why I can never marry a mommas boy. They are weak and let their mothers control everything in their life nor can I get married to someone whose mom and I don't get along esp if he is the sissy type like you. I want peace in life. The op should have set them down a long time ago and laid out the cards from the start.

Answer the question first

NmaGOD44:
and let me make it clear to u dat if both of them were in peace....the DIL would have been the one to present the pics to her MIL even before she makes her request.....my mum can't hate me and still demand something from me...it doesn't work dat way...and I don't tolerate shit from people

the MIL should be respected no matter what ? RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT. if you're someone worthy of respect, pple will respect u, u won't have to demand it . resorting to violence means your being respected is questionable 'cus no gentle MIL will do what the MIL did here . and it's rubbish to say after the MIL slapped her , the wife should've gone to her room to stay . if the wife had done that she will become a doormat and punching bag with the MIL running her marriage for her , which she has no business doing. i bet u , the MIL won't try what she did again or try to bully the wife again . mirob , maybe you are a didinrin but i am not and plenty of women out there are not. who in the world does the MIL think she is to hit her and then for you to blame the wife n say she should've gone to her room and do what? hide. allow someone to be intimidated and violated in ur own home n go cry in ur room like a child ? my dear this is 2015. and your post is just rubbish.

mirob:
A mother-in-law should be respected no matter what, it happens all the time, relations, especially mothers would want a memorable picture of their grandchildren to show off, the wife has no right WHATSOEVER to fight the mother, she can only go inside her room when the mother slapped her, if it were sister in law that would have been different but mother, no way, that shows u don't have respect for your husband.
That said, Op u have been advised, just make peace between them and get them to reconcile, but warn ur wife seriously because that action of hers will make people conclude that she is not well brought up.

MadCow1:



I may never slap my mother but if my mother puts herself in a position to get slapped then she has it coming. Remember that it was his mother that acted above her authority to slap his wife.

If your mother in law comes into your house making demands that you refuse her and she proceeds to slap you, I doubt you would be saying all this.

The case here remains that the mother slapped his wife because she refused her taking pictures of her baby without her consent and as far as I am concerned everything else that transpired after the slap are all secondary.

I don't see wat the argument is about??
Didn't want to point fingers before, but like I always say, 'wisdom is profitable to direct'.

In marriage, we adopt our better halves parents to be ours, as it is d case in most cultures, or from a moralistic standpoint, we don't treat them any worse than u would treat yours.

The question then is, @wat point would u cross the line to raise ur hands against ur own parents
Will u do that because of a disagreement, disrespect/disregard, a slaps (s)
If nothing of such can make u cross that line, Then, the o.ps wife WAS WRONG.

Look @ wat 2 pictures is costing her??

We all will argue the fine points from a safe, disconnected viewpoint BUT d o.p and his wife will have to live with the consequences/stigma of this for the next couple of years...and for what??

I can't honestly for the life of me think of a scenario that'll justify that except it's a case of life/death.


I blame totally the o.p sha....burying your head in the sand in a battle front will only result in your butt being blown off. He Should 've bin Proactive.

mirob:



The mother in law is the elderly one here, knowing fully well that they are not really at peace; and this is the husband' s mother for Christ sake, she does not have to compete with her, she should have allowed her to take that picture, even if there is no negative to reprint that singular one will not kill her, this her action means that she is not ready to forgive her mother in law of whatever she did to her and to me that shows that she has no respect for the husband. Even after her action and the slap followed, as a respectable lady, she would have left the scene to avoid any more problem but she stayed put and retaliated to show that she is no push over. You don't do that to ur mother in law or ur mother please.

And i say as an elderly woman who is meant to be blessed with wisdom, the Op's mother fvcked up!! You dnt go raising hands on another adult!! And expect a pat on the back. When you know u are not in good terms with someone, as an elderly woman, its expected you set the example!! Yes, his wife was really wrong in retaliating but my dear i cannot fault her too much because the troublemaker is her MIL. You dnt go about creating fracas and expect peace my dear. No woman is a saint to take that slap!! His wife even did well by calling him back home when things were begining to get ugly. His mother is sooooooo wrong and must correct herself. I am sure you wouldnt want your MIL raising her hands on you and i bet your reaction would be different from what you preach here. No sane woman who wants peace would go about into the homes of her children creating chaos except her children allowed her.

aflyingbird:
the MIL should be respected no matter what ? RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT. if you're someone worthy of respect, pple will respect u, u won't have to demand it . resorting to violence means your being respected is questionable 'cus no gentle MIL will do what the MIL did here . and it's rubbish to say after the MIL slapped her , the wife should've gone to her room to stay . if the wife had done what she did , she will become a doormat and punching bag with the MIL running her marriage for her , which she has no business doing . mirob , maybe you are a didinrin but i am not and plenty of women out there are not. who in the world does the MIL think she is to hit her and then for you to blame the wife n say she should've gone to her room and do what? hide. allow someone to intimidate and violate u your own home n go cry in ur room like a child ?. my dear this is 2015. and your post is just rubbish

This whole thing will eventually be resolved if the man of the house applies wisdom
And after that is done,everyone will know their boundaries and know never to overstep it starting with his mother
I promise you after this,she will conduct herself better next time she visits and peace will reign
The DIL doesn't hate her,just hates her attitude
Sometimes things like this need to happen so that the MIL appreciates the DIL is not a mumu and next time she will accord her the respect she deserves.

onoja12:
Answer the question first

You will never allow the same treatment from your father in law. I repeat, No mother raises her hand or slaps her daughter over mere pics. Only a troublemaker does that.

so if your father slaps your husband he should return fire abi,especially in public where people are there.i wish your husband future or present best of luck,that is why men don't marry this day this generation of women are manner less definitely not wife material

Sophyrocks:


You will never allow the same treatment from your father in law. I repeat, No mother raises her hand or slaps her daughter over mere pics. Only a troublemaker does that.

cococandy:


I don't know why women won't let their sons have peace in their marriages.

I totally agree with this statement.

babyosisi:


In fact why would any sane person make demands from someone they know they don't get along with let alone reach it to take the stuff ?
Shouldn't wisdom entail that she makes such requests of her son
Couldn't she apply some common sense

Thank you!! I said it earlier. You dnt get along with someone but you go ahead making demands from the person. You then give this same person a slap!! And you are expecting a hug for that? His mother was f00lish. There was peace before that happened but war came in the moment she slapped her DIL. she is the troublemaker!!

Sophyrocks:


You will never allow the same treatment from your father in law. I repeat, No mother raises her hand or slaps her daughter over mere pics. Only a troublemaker does that.

let him keep looking for an ans.... I suppose he will let his mum beat the living day light out of his wife....some men shaaaa

Mama shouldn't have slapped wifey eventhough wifey was wrong.

Your wife doesn't even understand the meaning of what she did as seen by the older generations. They go don label am say she call mama witch, which is actually what it looks like, wifey no try but mama sef get hot temper o, Shuoo.

onoja12:
so if your father slaps your husband he should return fire abi,especially in public where people are there.i wish your husband future or present best of luck,that is why men don't marry this day this generation of women are manner less definitely not wife material

story for the gullible....husband material.....we've seen u

onoja12:
so if your father slaps your husband he should return fire abi,especially in public where people are there.i wish your husband future or present best of luck,that is why men don't marry this day this generation of women are manner less definitely not wife material

My father will NEVER stoop sooooooooo low to create physical fight with my husband!! He knows better!! There are things elderly people dnt do. Elderly people with self respect! Its too shameful to watch sef. Na biiiiig fvck up!! Its only people who lack self respect and esteem with nothing going for their lives that do that. Dialogue is always the best.

onoja12:
so if your father slaps your husband he should return fire abi,especially in public where people are there.i wish your husband future or present best of luck,that is why men don't marry this day this generation of women are manner less definitely not wife material

Yes
If my father hates my husband's guts acts foolishly to leave his home,come to my place with his friend and sibling to attack my husband in his own house while trying to take his property by force and my husband retaliates to that physical attack ,I will be sad but my father brought it upon himself.
And no this will never happen because my dad will never go where he isn't wanted and certainly will not go there to start a fight
That is ghetto



The mother didn't fold her hands while her DIL retaliated
Do you suppose she did?
Somebody wey start fight go lay low?
The DIL Probably had an upper hand,that's whats paining her

Henpeck man, you must first kick your wife out and ask her to go and beg your mom on her own. This is the only way to put a stop to this. She put her hands on your mom. Do this for your peace of mind. None of my 3 sister in laws can say no to my mom not to talk of exchanging words and then putting hands on her. I have a sister inlaw from calabar who says things to her own mother all the time, my brother warned her to never extend those comments to his mom. You don't have respect for your mom and your fair-weather wife knows that. Your mother is your mini god, treat her right.

Basildvalour:
let him keep looking for an ans.... I suppose he will let his mum beat the living day light out of his wife....some men shaaaa

Abi. He will join his mother in beating his wife sef. Some men are that shameless!

Sophyrocks:


My father will NEVER stoop sooooooooo low to create physical fight with my husband!! He knows better!! There are things elderly people dnt do. Elderly people with self respect! Its too shameful to watch sef. Na biiiiig fvck up!! Its only people who lack self respect and esteem with nothing going for their lives that do that. Dialogue is always the best.

Most fathers don't even like spending more than 10 mins in their inlaw's house
Think about your dad going to see your maternal grandma
They want to leave ASAP to their own place
And if they felt insulted by him ,most intelligent fathers would stand up and leave that house
Not strike the man in his own house
Who does that except a father that drinks kai Kai like pure water
The question is so an'al

Guy, the fact that your family is ASKING your wife to GO means they NEVER supported your Marriage. It also means that your FAMILY has great control over you. SAD [Are you a MAN?]

With that said, you should know that if ANYTHING happens to you, your WIFE and CHILDREN will be treated like SLAVES by your family. Write your WILL and get a good Lawyer.

Its NO LONGER about you.
For the SAKE OF THE CHILDREN, go back to the Genesis of their quarrel and settle it now or else, your children will grow up and will ALWAYS see your Mother (and your own FAMILY) as the WITCHES/WIZARDS behind their problems.

Honestly as a married man, I AM DISSAPOINTED in you. MAN up and control your home and stop playing MR. INNOCENT. What will you tell your kids tomorrow. You are too WEAK. MAN the f*&k UP

na you know,it is easy to talk but i wish you luck in your marriage life,if you fight your husbands mother anything your eye see,take it like that.if it is me there are only two ways out,i send her out of my house until her and her mother go and beg my mother or that is the end of that marriage.if my mother wants a picture from my house it is only me that can tell her no,you have no right to tell her no without approval from me after all am still head of my house.this matter is highly avoidable especially when you know that there are witness there,please tell me what the wife was trying to prove?that she id stronger than my mother or what

babyosisi:


Yes
If my father hates my husband's guts acts foolishly to leave his home,come to my place with his friend and sibling to attack my husband in his own house while trying to take his property by force and my husband retaliates to that physical attack ,I will be sad but my father brought it upon himself.
And no this will never happen because my dad will never go where he isn't wanted and certainly will not go there to start a fight
That is ghetto



The mother didn't fold her hands while her DIL retaliated
Do you suppose she did?
Somebody wey start fight go lay low?
The DIL Probably had an upper hand,that's whats paining her

you never answer the question

Sophyrocks:


My father will NEVER stoop sooooooooo low to create physical fight with my husband!! He knows better!! There are things elderly people dnt do. Elderly people with self respect! Its too shameful to watch sef. Na biiiiig fvck up!! Its only people who lack self respect and esteem with nothing going for their lives that do that. Dialogue is always the best.

babyosisi:


Most fathers don't even like spending more than 10 mins in their inlaw's house
Think about your dad going to see your maternal grandma
They want to leave ASAP to their own place
And if they felt insulted by him ,most intelligent fathers would stand up and leave that house
Not strike the man in his own house
Who does that except a father that drinks kai Kai like pure water
The question is so an'al

Father in laws dnt have time to waste on petty issues and frivolities like MILs do na. Only jobless men do that and still that is even rare. Women who have nothing to do, nothing going in their lives, who are totally financially dependent on their sons, who are too attached to their sons, who take their sons as their 'Husbands', their lives, their everything when their husbands misbehave, end up like the Op's mother. They are the most petty women on this earth. And sme men dnt help matters at all allowing sentiments and emotions make decisions to divide their homes. I thought men were more logical than women in this regard.

onoja12:
you never answer the question

You dnt like my answer? then park well.

I think people should realize that there's more to this story, things must have been said, hurtful things if I must say, hence they both couldn't bare to just let go.

I seriously don't think any sane person will slap another if she said "mama these ones are the only copies I have, I'll try to get some for you" so I really wonder how she reacted to mama wanting those pics.

They both don't like each other and I think wifey doesn't even care and doesn't hesitate to show it, hence the ability to wooze mama hot slap back.

Mama sef has no right to slap wifey, it's just wrong.

To settle this kind matter go hard walai.

Sophyrocks:


Thank you!! I said it earlier. You dnt get along with someone but you go ahead making demands from the person. You then give this same person a slap!! And you are expecting a hug for that? His mother was f00lish. There was peace before that happened but war came in the moment she slapped her DIL. she is the troublemaker!!

I hope the parents of this wife are alive and well,she didn't fall from a tree
This man may be the one going with his mother and a bottle of schnapps to reconcile things
The wife hasn't told her side
From the son and mother's side it is already bad enough
For this man not to condemn his wife,it is pretty clear the wife has suffered in the hands of his mother and has taken a lot of abuse from her
That much is clear in his posts for anyone that can read between the lines