Ever wonder what our generation will be known for in the
decades to come? I ponder the question regularly. There are
so many great things we could be remembered for, but if
history has taught us anything, it’s the negative that tends
to last the test of time, not the positive.

My greatest worry is our generation will be looked at as the
generation that gave up on loveWe date for the sake of
dating. The generation that forgot how to love — which is
ridiculous. Most people have never had a good
understanding of love, just a poor interpretation of it.

Generation-Y seems to be the first generation moving away
from conventional takes on romantic, loving relationships.
The only question that remains is whether we’ll be
remembered for being the first generation to accept a more
logical and rational take on love or the generation that gave
up on it altogether. I guess you’ll be the one to decide.

1. We care more about instant gratification than we do
anything else
The most common trend amongst Generation-Yers is our
need for instant gratification. We grew up and continue to
thrive in a culture that allows us instant access to just about
anything. If we want food, we have it delivered with the
click of a few buttons or we walk a block or two and grab
dinner. If we are bored, we have endless distractions in the
form of phone apps. If we need directions or a question
answered, it only takes us a couple of seconds. Such
convenience is entirely a modern-day perk — previous
generations never experienced anything even remotely close
to it. The problem is instant gratification is addicting and
often becomes a habit, a habit that tends to seep into our
love lives. Love isn’t meant to be experienced in an
instance, but in a lifetime.

2. We’ve built a culture driven by drugs and booze
This goes hand in hand with our culture’s need for instant
gratification. Drugs and booze are the most common form of
self-medication. When we feel sad or unhappy, we go out
for drinks. When we’re stressed or unable to handle our
lives, we may turn to more intense substances. Of course,
not everyone drinks alcohol and/or does drugs, but it is a
trend among our generation. Drugs and alcohol often end up
being love’s worst enemy. These substances give us the
illusion of an alternate reality — a reality in which our
emotions are heightened, and the love we experience
becomes exponentially intense. Unfortunately, all this does
is confuse us, making us believe love is little more than the
feelings we experience. Nothing could be further from the
truth.

3. We sleep around — a lot Some less than others, but
most individuals have multiple partners every year. Don’t
get me wrong, I like sex just as much as the next guy,
but sleeping around ends up leaving us feeling empty. It
starts out feeling exciting and gratifying, but ends up making
us feel even more alone. Worse yet, it makes finding
someone to love infinitely more difficult. You’re wasting
your time with people who mean nothing to you and, to top
it all off, you are likely to turn sex into a sport. When that
becomes the case, good luck trying to make love. Good luck
enjoying sex when sex is no longer a special or unique
experience, but just another trivial evening.

4. We’re becoming even more egocentric
Every individual in the world is egocentric; we all think
about our needs and ourselves first and foremost. Whether
this is good or bad doesn’t really matter; the world is the
way it is. It’s part of human nature. The problem arises
when our egocentricity overtakes our ability to feel empathy.
As human beings, we have no choice but to live and
function within society, within communities of different sizes.
Relationships are really nothing more than granular
communities. When we focus on only ourselves, our needs,
our wants and desires, the needs of the others in our
community get overlooked. When this happens in a
relationship, it all begins to fall apart.

5. We date for the sake of dating
It’s become a sport — a favorite pastime among Millennials.
We date because we believe we’re supposed to date. We’re
supposed to find someone to fall in love with and spend our
lives with, and we are under the impression that the best
way to go about it is to date as often as possible. This
backwards logic brings about countless horrible relationships
that never ought to have been in the first place. Every time
you date someone who isn’t right for you, you’re giving up
your chance to meet someone who is. Same goes for the
rest of the world.

6. We aren’t fans of making compromises
We like to have things our way, always. Why wouldn’t we? If
we can have it our way, why would we settle for anything
less? This logic makes sense until we find ourselves in a
relationship. When we’re a part of a relationship, we are
only a piece of a greater whole. What we want and need is
not nearly as important as what the relationship needs. And
what the relationship often needs is for you to compromise.
So you’re left with a dilemma, which is fine, as long as you
accept that compromises need to be made. Once we no
longer accept that as a necessity, we will lose the ability to
create a loving relationship.

7. We believe in fairytale endings
What was our favorite thing to watch growing up? Most
people our age will say Disney. We grew up on Disney
movies and learned all about love through the stories they
told — or at least I did. The problem is such movies are
incredibly inaccurate and often end up doing more harm
than good. They create impossible expectations —
expectations that always leave us disappointed in the end,
not to mention confused. How could you not question your
love for someone when your story doesn’t line up with what
you believe defines a happily ever after?

8. We’ve been fooled into believing perfection is
attainable It’s not.
Never has been, never will be, and yet, we are all looking
for that perfect individual. We are all looking to become that
perfect individual. Sadly, we’re all going to fail, and it’s going
to suck. No matter how unrealistic our expectations are, the
disappointment we feel when they aren’t achieved is very
real. The grass always seems greener on the other side. But
who the hell told you to look for greener grass?

9. We’re goal driven, but often forget to include our
partners in the mix
I love the fact that our generation is really the first
generation to put the focus on the individual, allowing for
personal growth and development. I’m proud our
generation is the first generation that believes working for
ourselves is better than working for someone else. Having
dreams and setting goals are both incredibly important;
however, what’s more important is setting the right goals.
We need to understand the difference between the things
and individuals in our life who hold value. Sadly, this is an
area in which our generation is greatly lacking. Most of us
put off finding someone to love until after we get the rest of
our life together. Not sure why no one realizes finding a
partner is the most important piece of the puzzle.

10. Most of us are really bad at loving
Love is confusing. It has layers and is mutable, changing
over time and changing with each new partner we let into
our lives. Love is so incredibly complex that most people
simply haven’t been able to get a grasp of it. It’s nothing to
be ashamed of, but it is reason to worry. The real question
is: Are we getting better or worse at loving? That’s a
question I’m not able to answer, but I fear it maybe the
latter. Of course, each individual is different in his or her
understanding, but most people seem to be incredibly lost.
The issue is if we don’t come to understand love
better — its purpose, its boundaries and its
shortcomings — we will never be happy.

here to read comments...

Hmm accurately true.

Kylez:
here to read comments...

can i have some?

SamFay:
can i have some?

Sure, have a bucket

informative but a lil bit of over emphasizing

What about Over Freedom.

2. No directive.

3. Want to be among.

4. ...

simple, love doesn't exist. it only exist in movies