Hi All,

I need your candid opinions on these:

I am a relationship that is 1 year old. Before I started dating my woman, we were friends and we had another male friend. We were all close before we started dating. Since we started dating, we have had ups and downs.

Anytime we have issues, my woman never shows it off outside, she smiles and acts as if nothing is wrong but whenever this guy is there, she will show that something is wrong and paint me bad. Sometimes ago, the three of us were together at my place and my friend said he is leaving and my woman looked at him in a way that says: 'wont you wait and walk me?' my friend didnt see that look and he left, as soon as he left, my woman asked me 'are u going to walk me or not?' and i answered so that u can call him back to walk you? I confronted her with the two expressions and she affirmed that i was correct and she apologized. It caused a big issue in the relationship.

A few days back, she came to my house from work and she wanted to talk about something and she called the guy's name enthusiatically. I was amazed and she said its because she was tired.

What do you guys think? I trust my friend and I think my woman just likes the guy. I think the guy doesnt really know my woman likes him that much. I am almost certain they are not dating but I am no longer comfortable with her friendship with the guy. The place where she works now is the company of the guy's inlaw and they see all the time and are always together.

@ poster
I read thru your post, and must say that your case may be that of a jeaulous lover and it may be that your fiancee and your friend are not cheatin you

your fiancee only looked at him in sympatetic way but did not ask him to walk her home so i suspect jeaulousy here. But to be on the safe side i will give u a secret tip off just try and get your fiancees gsm (mobile phone) when she is away or asleep scrool down her sms and text messages you might find something there


But bewere you might find the shock of alife time there 

MISTER,

THEY ARE CHEATING ON YOU ALREADY!!!

this is tricky, its very possible that she likes ur friend and he knows it but is avoiding her. they are seeing their selves athe her work place, she could be getting fond of him and this is really dangerous.
if i were the one, i will tell my friend in honesty what i have noticed (that is if he is a correct guyoo, i mean one that does not get angry unecesarily) be honest with and and beg him not to tell ur fiance ur observation. u could get more fact from him.

na wao cheating and no cheating when will it ever stop

Hi All,

Thanks for your responses so far. I spoke to my friend about it the first time she looked at him in a funny way. At this stage, I think they are only fond of one another and not doing anything but it may lead to something. I have that fear

What you need is one step at a time like jordin song said, take it easy with her, study her very well , make sure u try to know when ur friend and her do always meet, the times and hours they spend together and as well, do not let the anger show in you, you said it all u'll have always been friend before so ur ring is not yet in her hand, she can either smile at him or even hug him if its not getting to romantic level as far as its an open and greeting hugz, its not all about cheating on u, friends have more to share within them selves than their spouse at times.

thats what i can say for now,

Thanks

I don't think they are cheating on you, maybe not yet. But it's obvious she's very fond of him. Is her fondness healthy or not? That's another matter entirely and she's the only one who can answer if she's developing a romantic affection towards him. Is he someone she can't do without? Does she find him attractive in a man/woman kind of way? That's where the real issue lies. Also, your friend may be in a very awkward situation as well. He may well know that your fiancee fancies him and this may be a bit uncomfortable for him, depending on where he stands in this whole thing, that is whether he also fancies her or otherwise.
All in all, it's very tricky. I don't think you should use hard tactics to get any information out of your fiancee. Whatever is going on will show up eventually. Take your time and just be observant. Being confrontational will not help matters in my opinion.

Cheating is very broad
There is a part of it classed Emotional Cheating
That is what is happening between your GF and your friend
Its usually advisable to allow people that are cheating emotionally to have a swell time
If i were you i will give them space
or you also do some emotional cheating girls are everywhere

@SISTERWOMAN

WHERE ARE U ??  IM WAITING TO SEE YOUR REPLY ON THIS OOOOOO


@Poster,

My candid opinion or rather my "NDIDI opinion"  

I learnt something from dat lady i mentioned earlier , posses ur possesions
Firstly, dont let ur feelings or emotions get over you.

Secondly,
u have to learn to be indifferent, towards her actions wit d other guy.
u are already showing lukewarm attitude towards her , just becos u r suspicious!!!

Young Man, take your TLC ( tender, luv, caring ) to a greater height with her.
How u make her feel, greatly determines d  attraction she feels for u.

Ladies tends not to have controls over their emotions , falling in luv or falling out of "ruv"  "sincerely,they all want the nice guy bt endup wit the bad one "
may be ur friend is doing something dat makes her fond of him, , and probably,  dat u r nt doing

do things dat will her make feel you!!!
mind you , it's not abt buying her gifts & tryiing to choke her with ur presence.

Lastly,
talk to your friend abt it, jokingly!!! dont be confrontational.
because, who knows u might just be right wit ur suspicion. Let him know how u feel abt her, tell him about ur future plans for her & watch him react.
definately, u will get something out of dat.

and, if u dont get relieve after 7days, please consult my doctor SISTERWOMAN

liftedone:

I don't think they are cheating on you, maybe not yet. But it's obvious she's very fond of him. Is her fondness healthy or not?

Take your time and just be observant. Being confrontational will not help matters in my opinion.

I feel 4 u bro and I must commend ur courage and understanding. I hate 2 let u in on this but ur friend holds all the aces in ur relationship. One move from him n UR GIRL MIGHT JUST DO THE UNTHINKABLE. Who knows whats going down sef

U might wanno take ur tym like liftedone suggested, who knows she might change and focus on u since u've discussed with her. As for moi she's history! This one wey she don begin call the guy name unknowingly, may Godforbid, but what if she does that when u 2 are getting it on God knows I won't wait till then b4 cutting her off if I were u. 'Tis ur call, amigo.

The other guy is too close to your girlfriend and it is dangerous.

If he is truly your friend, you can talk to him and he will back off and limit interactions with her, after which things will return to normal. If you do it in the wrong manner though, he could get all defensive and then tell your fiancee making it all blow up in your face.

Handle this with care - don't ignore your gut suspicions but do not get into slinging matches with her over this guy. Handle this maturely and you will not only strengthen your relationship, but you will keep your friendship as well.

@ poster

Your girlfriend likes your friend. Isn't it obvious?

[b]
@ Hra

I have to sincerely tell you that from what you posted your girlfriend is being distracted by your friend and obviously likes him(Though we can't conclude to what degree).
The bad part of this is that you can't stop your friend from keeping in touch with her. Once a woman starts calling another mans name mistakenly when she intends to call yours or another name, then you know the other guy is always on her mind - which is one of the first signs of emotional cheating ,and is dangerous.

1. Don't confront them, the worst thing you want is to confront them, and if it's true, they start playing it on the downlow, behind you. Then you end up marrying her and it continues, damn!I will not advice you to end the relationship, just give her freedom with your friend. What will happene will eventually happen, you can never force a woman not to prevent a woman from cheating on you if her mind wants to( i say mind not heart cuz most times they don't want to, but end up doing it due to certain circumstances).

2. if you confront them and nothing was happening in the first place, it will bring it to their consciousness, and they might begin to fancy their chances since you're already showing your feeling of defeat.
Count it that you're at an advantage now cuz you can still notice signs between them(signs your friend might be oblivious of so dont crucify him yet) so don't lose this advantage by confronting them.
Stop asking her about those looks, touches e.t.c she's giving your friend, so she doesn't stop due to your observation. That will only make her know you're observing those 'green lights' and would make her start playing ghost with them. So play the blind fool and If there is somethign truly happening between them, they will think you're still a blind fool, and mistakenly play it to your face.
Then you can end it with her, and keep your friend still.

After all has been written, be careful, she might just be trying to win the loyalty of your friend so he's always on her side whenever there's an issue between both of you(you and her). Some women do this well, some over do it and crash their relationships.

PIECE OF ADVICE: Never dump your guy friend because of a woman, especially if he made your woman cheat on you with him(This is if you're not married already to the woman). Those are the kind of 'Good enemies' you want to keep close to find your true love eventually.[/b]

I mix up names all the time.

I stare, flirt, smile with people all the time.

Doesn't mean I'm cheating on anyone.

Truth is, don't jump the gun. They might be merely friends and you questioning either of them might push them together to unitedly resent you.

Hi All,

I sincerely appreciate all your responses. I am trying to take a decision whether to end the relationship now or wait

can u now see why i dislike NIGER girls!, they're bunch of cheats and full of jealousy , i guess most of them were born with that evil spirit.

what u think ?

My brother same thing happened to me, i don't need a prophet to prophesy to me, i handled the matter sharp, sharp, and ever since then everything stoped.

To be frank with you they are really cheating on you, in one way or the other.
you have to tackle it on time.

Space and care is just the only watchword. I advise you work on yourself first. Make sure your suspicion have sufficient indicators. if u eventually see what you are seeking for, that is, finding out that your girl loves him, then,  call it a day. it does not matter whether your frined likes her or not. You cannot base ur life on the help from your male friend. she has simply said that you are not the one, that is if and only if your suspicion is right. Forget about talking to your friend. You will never get the truth from there because, his opinion will not be independent.

But, mind you, in which ever way, you male pal remains your friend, becasue he has right to respond to love. But the girl who is a potential partner has proved not to be. This is if she is longing for your friend. LISTEN, your male friend does not need to love her back for her to be guilty. I am married and I went through girls. I can authoritatively tell you that you can never prevent a girl against her emotions. NEVER.

Poster.

They are already cheating on you plus your friend is not worth the trouble.  Get a new one!
cos if you dump the girl, your friend will try to get it on with your next GF.

Girls can do all sorts of rubbish, selfish and stupid things in a relationship

I love when men are insecure and they put it up for display . . .  makes me remember that they can be human too.

It's good to be on a safe side

DaPhoenix:

I love when men are insecure and they put it up for display . . .  makes me remember that they can be human too.

sad to say some people in that ood land of ours are cheaters

someone said girls are selfish in relationship, that is because, nothing worth stopping them from what they feel. She can date your father, if she feels for him. the question, is: does she feel for him?? please do not wait to verify, I said indicators are enough to quit the relationship. You hardly can see two of them naked. love making is ususally at closed doors.

Catching them redhanded is rare, and that might be at the eve of your wedding!!!!!!!! by then, dont come to this forum to discuss it.

someone said girls are selfish in relationship, that is because, nothing worth stopping them from what they feel. She can date your father, if she feels for him. the question, is: does she feel for him?? please do not wait to verify, I said indicators are enough to quit the relationship. You hardly can see two of them naked. love making is ususally at closed doors.

Catching them redhanded is rare, and that might be at the eve of your wedding!!!!!!!! by then, dont come to this forum to discuss it.

Watch. , ur friend is just tooooooo close. . .i don't like such things.

i agree with Debo

@HRA

follow your instincts.there's somthing goin on, she is nice but she likes the other guy which is not a crime,you can either deal with it or choose not to,ur future together depend on how you decide,but follow your instincts, intincts are seldom wrong in matters like this

too bad for you, your girlfriend is being bunked by your mate, trust me when you let her go she wouldnt be bothered 1 bit, until he dumps her then shel come running back to you, pls dont give her face then,
cheers
youre not alone tho,